I guess I'll start with an introduction. First and foremost, I consider myself a relatively good guy on the basis that I don't really have it in me to be prejudiced or rude to people. It just doesn't seem appealing to me to ruin other people's days. There's nothing wrong with me physically or mentally, and I don't look too bad either. With that being said, I'll clarify that I am a virgin. I've never had a girlfriend or even a first kiss, and I'm about to turn 22 years old this December. Many people wonder why I have never had a relationship, and it boils down to two things. The first being the fact that mutual attraction isn't always guaranteed, and the second being fear. By fear I do not mean fear of women, but rather fear of a tarnished reputation.
To me and many others who share my situation, our reputations are something we are afraid to soil. That is precisely why we don't have 'game' or go around trying to get women to go out with us. When you put in effort trying to ask out women and it fails, people will hear about it, and they will label you for it. From my personal experience I have been called a 'nice guy' or 'incel' by peers after rejections. Even though the accusations are baseless, there is no way to defend against an attack on character. So I did what, to me, is the obvious solution and stopped asking women out. Not out of bitterness, spite, or fear of rejection itself, but out of fear that I will forever wear the label of a man who can't get a girlfriend.
Let me reiterate that there is no negative feeling toward women. All of the women I've asked out were simply not compatible with me. Yet it seems that the general consensus on men who have bad luck finding partners is that they have deeply flawed personalities. To be single is more or less to wear that tag in 2018 it seems. Thus for those of us who have faced rejection, the only course of action that will allow us to save face is to stop trying.
Let's be honest, I dislike an incel as much as the next guy, so to be falsely accused as being one is one of the worst humiliations a man can face. All in all, there are single good men out there who lead upright lives but you won't find us initiating relationships very often. I would rather learn to deal with loneliness than waking up to "you're actually an incel kill yourself lmao" in a group chat with many others.
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