Smelling your way to a better mate?

When it comes to the wonder of online dating, I think of it like this... one of the greatest of patent attempts...the automated ass kicker!

Online dating design, circa 1800's
Online dating design, circa 1800's

Online dating uses the worst of our humanity to select dates. A lack of marketing skills, poor understanding of opposite sex, rough communication skills between male and female by text, and in general, our intellect, which is a flawed way for most to connect. It can work for a very few, but it is really difficult indeed! So let's try something a little more, simple and organic!

That smells really good! I like it!
That smells really good! I like it!

Now I write a lot of funny stuff. But I do my research (lightly...I'm a busy guy ya know) and what I say is generally true to my knowledge unless I say I'm joking. If you ask if I'm serious...




Let's start dating using our noses a little more! Whew...there I said it!:) Why you ask...because pheromones are a very simple way to weed out potential suitors to determine who you are attracted to at a low level..without all the noise of your intellect.

Pheromones - "Mammalian pheromones, including those of humans, occur in four varieties, primer, releaser, signaler, and modulator, which, respectively, affect endocrine responses, elicit behavior, provide information, and influence emotion."

That's some juicy information! The aroma one gives off naturally elicits hormone function and emotions in others...whoah! Emotions are good things to have! I knew those sweaty girls were causing problems, now I can go talk them up at the gym and set them straight how they are messing with my workout! Other simple life forms use these pheromones for mating, why don't we take advantage of this simple tool. If you think I'm making this up, think again...

http://www.pheromoneparties.com/

https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/bmjvy5/love-stinks-pheromone-dating-is-the-scientific-way-to-find-a-match

Forget about how he looks and his wallet ladies, it's all about selecting the best immune system and your nose has the ticket!:)! Read article above:)

Does it really have to come down to this?
Does it really have to come down to this?
The Dating Plan!
We will collect a guys laundry and the girls will smell it to narrow down who they are really attracted to! Wallah! This should happen outside of GAG to increase options. The guy sleeps in a new t-shirt for 3 nights so it's...yucky...or maybe, yummy:)! Seals it in a labeled bag...that is collected and delivered to GAG headquarters...ahemm...someplace yet determined. Girls select the mates by the way. The men just present themselves, girls do the choosing...true in all venues I know, this is no different! So guys, don't ask if you can smell the girls underwear...not until the real date at her discretion!

Once we have sufficient samples, the t-shirts are delivered to some destination and the girls have a party with wine, cheese, chocolate and shoes, handbags, jewellery, ya know....the stuff girls like! And, sweaty t-shirts to smell...I had to work that in somewhere:)! This is going to be fun!

Girls smell the aromas, check which ones they like into the app (gotta build an app for that) and they are given some very basic information about the guy.

OOOO LA LAAAHHHH!
OOOO LA LAAAHHHH!

A good picture, and location, height and job. that's all you need to know. The app we'll build will isolate out any information that violate your must haves...like they have pets or something. What remains...are the guys you are attracted to ladies...you then initiate a date! If you have no matches...you've lost nothing.

That's soo easy and fun! I think it will have to be local given logistics challenges, but wouldn't it be amazing to have a bunch of sweaty t-shirt libraries of singles, and you could pick what you want? I think you've got a $$$$$ idea there!

I know what you are thinking...I'm really not that desperate! Oh contrare! Maybe you'd like to rough me up right now..just a little? Hey...I'm just trying to be creative and get you to 5th base faster:)



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Most Helpful Guy

  • This seems reasonable to me, my girlfriend uses one of my tshirts as a pillow case because she loves the smell so much, she literally returns them and asks for another one worn more recently. I get it too, I think the way she smells is really sexy, and it turns me on. So pheromones make a lot of sense in explaining that because I know a lot of other couples are like this too.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Online dating is nothing but creepy guys, almost as if the best guys are already taken.

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    • I agree, it is the worst invention and implementation I've ever seen. Think about how you would fix it:)! You're children's life may depend upon it...:) I don't think that is true, I know lot of good guys who suffered on it as well, the mechanism is just really bad.

    • 7d

      there's some good guys out there but the majority of creeps go online because it's easier for them to manipulate there.

  • Interesting mytake. That app would be fun and hilarious to use.

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  • I remembered reading this thing where a girl used some extract from her vajayjay and used it as a perfume and it worked to attract dudes

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  • Good take

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  • 7d

    Very nice

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