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Sexual assault and consent (Page 3)
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I've seen this video. Its rather passive aggressive. There used to be a lot of social norms related to sex, but now thats all gone with the sexual revolution emerging. Leftists have made their bed, now they must sleep in it too. I am a traditional man and I refuse to date non-traditional women. Good luck with all your social revolutions. I will be laughing at them from a distance.
I think people understand it all pretty well, the difference between this and tea is my cock doesn't ejaculate from pouring tea down somebody's throat, nor do I get aroused or receive any sexual pleasure from watching people drink tea.
If you're 10 seconds away from cumming and your drunk girlfriend passes out on your cock, what are you really gunna do? Yeah this is pretty raunchy here, never happened to me, I'm just speaking my drunk logical mind
Your semen IS the tea.
"Passes out" -- before that she must have been pretty drunk, probably having trouble standing. Why would you initiate sex with someone that drunk?
I personally wouldn't. You'd have to ask those who do.
Maybe we got drunk together as a romantic fuckfest thing I don't know man if im drunk i see no problem its only weird when one person is drunk and the other isn't
I don't think either one of you can consent if you're both drunk. But people do it all the time... :/. Not my thing, though. I want to be fully present and clear-headed when I have sex.
That is a bit a difficult comparison between a cup of tea and sex. Because: If my kids or anybody else tells me "I want a cup of tea" and I tell them that they can have tea a and tea b and they want tea b and I made them the tea they are morally obliged to drink that tea. Because I made it for them. And waste of resources is prohibited in our house. They have to be responsible for their words and take the consecuences.
Overthinking makes it difficult.
That is the basics, yes. Basic black and white consent. There will always be gray areas however and dastardly people. There will be the "Do you want tea?" And say Yes but don't say what kind of tea and say nothing causing issues of not verbalising their needs and thinking of it as consent violations after all is said and done.
As well as how they want the tea made. If the things they want are available, sugar, milk, artificial sweetener. Complications and mistakes can happen, that are outside of the basics yet half the time people don't talk about these together or think it was blatant when it is not.
Heated chemistry between two people will always signal and display consent as you two enjoy and respect each other.
The moment that one of you impliment your desire in fast forward or in an unwanted fashion towards the other , consent is paused and an assault may begen.
Consent in the first place is always expressed through great satisfying chemistry you two experience together being on the same page with each other and the fire between you two express continuance.
The problem with the analogy is that its reversed. The woman is offering the man tea. ie a man is wearing shorts and a t shirt out in the snow and is shivering. Along comes a woman and offers him a hot tea. He says yes of course i want it im freezing. So she gives him the tea and just as he puts it to his lips she smacks it out of his hands.
This is a more typical tea story about consent. Duh he going to be pissed the fuck off.
Hence! NEVER EVER BE LEFT ALONE WITH A WOMAN IN THE WORK PLACE! They will RUIN YOU FOR LIFE! Do not teach them, do not look at them, do not even get close to them. They will scream RAPE and then you will be finished.
Billy Graham said something similar one time, and even went further.
he said a man should never be alone in a room with WOMEN except his own lawfully married wife. Don't be alone in a room with two women. Don't be alone in a room with three women, etc. Something bad WILL eventually happen if you keep doing that.
I was alone in a room with 20 women one time at a local technical college, and 6 of them eventually falsely accused me of a sex crime, which the police called me in for questioning, but after hearing my side of the story did not arrest me and threw out all charges against me, because they realized the women were lying. I tried to file counter-charges of my own against them, but at the time I didn't have enough money to hire a real lawyer, and I couldn't get one of the free local lawyers to represent me.
So I can reaffirm Billy Graham's position, do NOT be alone in a room with one or more women, except your lawfully married wife. Something WILL eventually go wrong; they'll conspire against you for some reason, etc... OR you'll actually fall for someone's temptation and ruin whatever real relationship you otherwise had with an entirely different, probably better woman.
You're a sad, strange little person in desperate need of some attention. The only person you have a chance of educating is yourself, and you might want to worry about that instead of spamming trivialities.
If you don't find this useful, move along.
You're one bitter internet troll.
DicomfortZone is a dumb ass. Lack of brains and morals.
Thank you for being thoughtful without being opinionated, articulate without being pedagogical, nuanced instead of heavy handed, humor instead of polemics, compassionate instead moralistic
Sad that this should be ingrained into every guy's brain, but instead has to be broken like this to be understood.
No every guy, every human.
So what if a drunk person WANTS to have tea (not passed out). But the next day they regret drinking it? They conclude they would have never drank the tea if they were sober.
Who’s fault is that then?
The opportunist and the one who is silly enough to think a drunk person capable of consent.
And if the drunk person is coming on to you?
I haven’t had a drunken one night stand in years. But this happens all the time. Guy and girl go out for a few drinks. The are both tipsy but not passed out. Guy kisses the girl and she happily kisses back (sometimes vice versa). One thing leads to another. There is never a moment where someone says stop or no. The other person wanted the tea for sure.
They are not overly intoxicated (passed out) but the inhibitions are definitely lowered. They wake up the next day and either one or both regret it. But the man is always “culpable“ in this scenario, never vice versus. It’s his “fault” although she did consent. It’s even his fault if it was her idea.
But we just have to keep on expanding the definitions of what is and is not sexual assault/rape. But if you are bisexual female congresswoman by the name of Katie Hill you can enjoy mass media protection, blame “misogyny” for forcing you to resign (she really did say this) although you abused your position of power to have sexual misconduct with both paid female/male staff members. Then all the sudden the metoo movement goes silent because she’s an intersectional Democrat.
I'm not completely sure of the law in your country, I am not from the US. I have never been drunk (I don't drink alcohol) but it is universally understood drunk person cannot consent.
You should look up how the law is in your own country when it comes drunk and sexual assault.
If you have never drank before than you will never understand this conundrum. Most people can have one or two drinks and they are slightly drunk but they can still talk fine, function fine, walk straight and even drive legally. But they also are more relaxed and have lowered inhibitions. But after five or more drinks (depending on your gender, size, weight, tolerance, etc) than you are intoxicated. Not a good idea to have sex at point. Nor have I or will I ever have sex with someone who is that intoxicated.
But feminism is trying to move the goal posts on this. They are trying to say “regret is rape” which is absolute horseshit. If a woman is lonely, has one drink with a man, consents (all the way) and wakes up the next day regretting it... than there is only one person to blame and it’s not the man.
Those accusations are not common but they do make normal law abiding, female respecting men like myself nervous. And I’m not disrespecting a woman if her and I have a drink or two, I sense she likes me and we end up making out and going further.
Also although 8 doubt you will do this, but really google Katie Hill. This is the exact hypocrisy men are tired of seeing when it comes to the metoo movement.
If both people are equally drunk, then who raped who?
@Lightning8 I think we already know her answer to that. But she’s has never tried alcohol. This is something she won’t understand.
Guys, sorry I don't think the discussion about being drunk is going to fruitful. I have never been drunk, the only time I saw drunk a person when I travel to another country. Drunk related crime is not common where I come from.
If you want to protect yourself against someone charging you on forcible sex, talk to an attorney or get to know the law in your country especially when both under the influence.
It’s very grey here and really accusations are more based on a woman’s “feelings” vs fact. But fortunately due process is still based on fact. However feminists are trying to change that.
How is having a question about another dimension to the same topic of understanding what constitutes as rape, not being fruitful?
@Lightning8 because the law is different than in your country and in mine. We don't deal with drunk people, alcohol is banned where I'm from.
@shimmeryns So, then I wouldn't say that the discussion is not fruitful as a whole. Your answer or input specifically would just be along the lines of "I don't know". But it is an important discussion to have on the issue of rape.
@Lightning8 I think if you post a question about it, other g@g users may be able to give more insight into the issue of drunk, rape and who's fault is it by eyes of the law.
@shimmeryns Thanks I may do this. But I didn't really get the vibe the this MyTake is exclusively concerning the legal perspective. I did think it was about consent in general.
@Lightning8 the content is being put together by police department, if you click on the video credit...
@shimmeryns I just read it
If in 2019 someone needs to write about consent it's becasue society is still shitty as ever
Great MyTake!
We had an assembly like this at school! ^_^
Was this sparked by my question regarding my friend who was assaulted? Jeremythedrummer here by the way. I lost my old account.
Yes, definitely. And that specific user who threw insults saying it is her fantasy kinda pissed me off lol!
You can find that user response in the opinion section to this mytake.
i ended up reporting him. sucks tat i lost my old account tho. And my friend is seeking professional help.
How exactly did you lose it?
I'm glad your friend is seeking professional help. Many of the users here seem to dismiss how a real sexual assault actually affect the victim tremendously mentally. Maybe false rape charges is just too common in the US?
i changed phone. And i couldnt log into my other account cuz id forgotten my password, and changed my email.
I guess. But regarding rape, i usually try to stay neutral and not believe any party involved until the verdict is clear. and also, as long as the woman is confired to have been penetrated, whether willingly or not, the guy will get charged anyway, because the woman'a vagina showed signs of penetration with a phallic object. But it doesn't show whether she was willingly penetrated or not, so guys can still get falsely imprisoned, which kind of destablilses the theory that the guy raped the woman, and gives support to the possibility that the woman had forced the guy to penetrate her (highly unlikely) or they had consensual sex instead. This is why rape charges are such a sensitve and tricky matter.
When there is strong evidence of force and bruises on her body, I think it is safe to say that is rape.
yes. true. But when there isn't its kind of fishy, even when there's signs of physical penetration.
I don't like to force myself to other even my girlfriend. She needed to be herself and not be to be forced to do something she doesn't want. same goes for guys , Nobody should be forced to do anything else. I love them too much.
She says make me tea and drinks the tea. However, an hour later, the tea makes her ill or she thinks it is the tea, so she regrets drinking the tea and says, "I never consented to drinking tea that would make me ill."
How many times has that happened to you?
@VIVANT Obviously never since I would NOT be allowed to even be online if it had. However, it has happened to a few others. And, even though, the risk that a girl will have regrets and act on her regrets, is highly unlikely, there is a slight risk that I might be one of the unfortunate few.
Consent in sexual relations is more nuanced and broad than this. It should not only be about teaching men not to rape women, but we should teach women how to respect male boundaries. But good analogy for this part of consent.
The video is gender neutral
Everyone should respect boundaries. What makes something a “ male boundary”?
It's technically gender neutral. But sex is not; this explaination lends itself to a more feminine perspective, sinve women tend to hold men responsible for their being sexually pursued and even her own orgasm.
Women don't really take much charge of or have much initiative for "serving the tea"
since* not sinve
And a male boundary is something yet to be seriously discussed in acadamia it seems, but I would say generally a male boundary has to do with his emotional vulnerability in relation to his sexuality.
Most often, male sexuality is generally treated as either sinister, oppressive or pathetic. And the emotional state or feelings of a man is something that is either dismissed or largely overlooked by his partner when it's inconvenient or less attractive (if it doesn't fit within a stereotypical masculine frame).
I disagree plenty of women serve tea. As well as men serving tea to men.
Men are often victims of sexual abuse. I do not take this analogy to be female centric.
I understand everyone has emotional vulnerability.. But I’m still not clear what you mean by male boundary. I would like to
Can you Give an example of what you would consider violating a male boundary ( different than a human boundary?)
Well, if you are comparing women "serving tea", to the existence gay population, you are calling a very small minority "plenty". It's probably a norm socially, but not statistically/biologically. Some small minority of women may pursue and authentically take of their partner, but I also hear some women complain about there not being a PUA community for them. And it's because women generally don't serve tea at this time.
Yes, that is true. I don't know what context you are thinking of, but the fact that men also experience sexual abuse doesn't mean the video is not gynocentric however.
There is even the MGTOW philosophy and "Red Pill" philosophy as evidence that male vulnerabilities are often not treated with authentic care, compassion and respect by women. One example of a man's boudary is what he considers betrayal. Betrayal is a sexual violation which no one opens up their sexuality to you, for you to then do that to them.
On male boundaries and betrayal. There isn't a one size fits all but I'll try my best to describe some universal qualities.
Generally, we want to use other people's sexuality but then we want to be free or be our own person. And we are our own person, but what can be problematic is our ideas of what possessiveness looks like. We call emotions like jealousy weakness or immature or unenlightened, as if we do not operate from primal motivations, or have a reptilian cortex. What I'm saying is that combined with the perception of masculinity as villainous, we tend to shun males for setting boundaries that they may take seriously, particularly on betrayal as them merely being "oppressive", or "unhealthy". So when we convince them to feel bad about their sexual boundaries, males might unselfishly lower these boundaries more and more. But often enough the ultimate betrayal eventually happens, whether it's a non mutual abandoment or cheating, or what ever that may be to the individual.
That was absolutely brilliant, shimmeryns! It was funny as hell but also nailed the point. Bam! Perfect.
You know there are consent apps there right? That can make it much easier and documented to some extent.
litterally no person ever didn't understand the concept of consent. there may be some that don't care and for those what you said doesn't matter.