- Do you ever feel like you're stepping on eggs constantly in your relationship?
- Do you have a persistent feeling that something's not right with your boyfriend?
The man you thought was incredibly charming can be a real psychopath!
I'm writing this take because I caught myself realizing I've dated a psychopath, after reading a book about the topic. God, I almost married the guy! ~ My hope is to sum up here some of the red flags I missed myself.
A psychopath is born and a sociopath is made.~ Dr. Ramani Durvasula
There are always some signs — sometimes very subtle — that the one who could only be Chris Hemsworth's lost twin brother isn't the right guy for you...
Psychopaths are perfect manipulators; they pathologically lie, constantly contradict themselves, and know how to seduce and control the feelings of those who are next to them, appealing even to the physical side of the relationship.
Pathologies aside, every good girl in this world has had an experience with the “psychopath”, in its proverbial sense... You know... that kind of crazy, confident guy, full of himself but deep down he's nothing but a good manipulator. And there are women who have been involved with guys who, psychopaths or not, need mental help.
Here are some tips for you to reevaluate your Prince Charming:
Lies and Contradictions
Psychopaths are professional liars. They'll justify the dark circles under their eyes with an intense video game night when he was actually in the nightclub until 5 in the morning. If you also managed to detect the lie and notice that he cannot tell the truth about his whereabouts, then it is better to put an end to the story.
He doesn't know very well who he is
Remember the famous Norman Bates from Psycho? Yeah, one day he says he's looking for the right person to marry and grow old holding hands and the next he “doesn't want anything serious”... HELLO??! Did you see the contradiction? Okay, a man is not diagnosed with psychopathy because he is fickle when it comes to commitment ~ or else everyone would be in a psychiatric hospital ~ but still, pay attention to contradictions.
Control and Manipulation
He constantly “measures” you from head to toe trying to feel any unusual attitudes so that he can accuse you of jumping the fence. He obsessively searches your Facebook, or worse, he asks to share the profile with you, as a couple, to prevent you from talking to other guys ~ the first step to controlling your life. Meanwhile, his phone whistles with the incessant text messages.
He needs to get intimate details of your account on social networks ~ password and free access to your inbox history. He's gonna seduce you into getting your private information if you're not attentive.
Don't fall into digital traps just because you think you'll feel closer to him. That's crazy!
If the man you're dating sends an “I love you” on the third date, congratulations, you just joined the psycho-circus. Girls, we'd all like a man to fall in love with us so quickly, but that reality only rolls on the screen of the cinema. No normal human being falls in love that fast ~ and expresses that feeling ~ none. Forget it, you watched too much Cinderella in your childhood!
The self-absorption of a narcissistic psychopath will put you at the last position on his priority list. To him, he's smarter, more handsome, funnier and more interesting than you. If your man says things that remind you of Kanye West, then you know, you just got your psycho club card.
If your darling suddenly turns into the Hulk, then he needs professional help. Physically or verbally, he can abuse you. This is very serious in any relationship. Anything like shouting, an angry look, threats or even physical conflicts are very clear signs that your partner really needs help. And you too! Leave him before his classic post-abuse maneuver:
Calling you crying, asking forgiveness with eyes full of guilt.
Don't fall for that!
Psychopath or not, an abusive relationship needs to be over, so
don't fall for his act. I understand many things I wrote about here can be applied to all relationships ~ no matter if it's a man or a woman ~ so if these words helped you in any way, I'm already happy about it.
Thanks for reading!