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Are You Dating a Psychopath?

Yes, they are real!
Yes, they are real!
  • Do you ever feel like you're stepping on eggs constantly in your relationship?
  • Do you have a persistent feeling that something's not right with your boyfriend?

The man you thought was incredibly charming can be a real psychopath!

YOU ~ the line between love and obsession
"YOU" ~ the line between love and obsession

I'm writing this take because I caught myself realizing I've dated a psychopath, after reading a book about the topic. God, I almost married the guy! ~ My hope is to sum up here some of the red flags I missed myself.

A psychopath is born and a sociopath is made.

~ Dr. Ramani Durvasula

There are always some signs — sometimes very subtle — that the one who could only be Chris Hemsworth's lost twin brother isn't the right guy for you...

Psychopaths are perfect manipulators; they pathologically lie, constantly contradict themselves, and know how to seduce and control the feelings of those who are next to them, appealing even to the physical side of the relationship.

Pathologies aside, every good girl in this world has had an experience with the “psychopath”, in its proverbial sense... You know... that kind of crazy, confident guy, full of himself but deep down he's nothing but a good manipulator. And there are women who have been involved with guys who, psychopaths or not, need mental help.

I guess we all have been there!
"I guess we all have been there!"

Here are some tips for you to reevaluate your Prince Charming:

  • Lies and Contradictions

Psychopaths are professional liars. They'll justify the dark circles under their eyes with an intense video game night when he was actually in the nightclub until 5 in the morning. If you also managed to detect the lie and notice that he cannot tell the truth about his whereabouts, then it is better to put an end to the story.

  • He doesn't know very well who he is

Remember the famous Norman Bates from Psycho? Yeah, one day he says he's looking for the right person to marry and grow old holding hands and the next he “doesn't want anything serious”... HELLO??! Did you see the contradiction? Okay, a man is not diagnosed with psychopathy because he is fickle when it comes to commitment ~ or else everyone would be in a psychiatric hospital ~ but still, pay attention to contradictions.

  • Control and Manipulation

He constantly “measures” you from head to toe trying to feel any unusual attitudes so that he can accuse you of jumping the fence. He obsessively searches your Facebook, or worse, he asks to share the profile with you, as a couple, to prevent you from talking to other guys ~ the first step to controlling your life. Meanwhile, his phone whistles with the incessant text messages.

He needs to get intimate details of your account on social networks ~ password and free access to your inbox history. He's gonna seduce you into getting your private information if you're not attentive.

Don't fall into digital traps just because you think you'll feel closer to him. That's crazy!

  • Premature Love

If the man you're dating sends an “I love you” on the third date, congratulations, you just joined the psycho-circus. Girls, we'd all like a man to fall in love with us so quickly, but that reality only rolls on the screen of the cinema. No normal human being falls in love that fast ~ and expresses that feeling ~ none. Forget it, you watched too much Cinderella in your childhood!

  • Narcissus

The self-absorption of a narcissistic psychopath will put you at the last position on his priority list. To him, he's smarter, more handsome, funnier and more interesting than you. If your man says things that remind you of Kanye West, then you know, you just got your psycho club card.

  • Anger Management

If your darling suddenly turns into the Hulk, then he needs professional help. Physically or verbally, he can abuse you. This is very serious in any relationship. Anything like shouting, an angry look, threats or even physical conflicts are very clear signs that your partner really needs help. And you too! Leave him before his classic post-abuse maneuver:
Calling you crying, asking forgiveness with eyes full of guilt.

Don't fall for that!

True Story!
True Story!

Psychopath or not, an abusive relationship needs to be over, so
don't fall for his act. I understand many things I wrote about here can be applied to all relationships ~ no matter if it's a man or a woman ~ so if these words helped you in any way, I'm already happy about it.

Thanks for reading!

#scctakes #food4thought

Are You Dating a Psychopath?
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I mostly agree this. But these are signs. I feel that most men are imperfect. And it's possible to fall into one category to some degree and not be a psycho. Some guys have trouble with anger, some guys lie, some guys are clingy but that does not for sure make them psychos. I think all your points are vivid. It's just bring careful to treat these as signs and not as labels. Because as far as I'm concerned this is not confined to one gender either. So girls could also share these traits too. Like for example going back to anger, it depends on the level of anger and how they express it.

    But I think you said this the best way "tips to reevaluate" not "when to get rid of" and I would change it to "reevaluate your Prince charming or princess"

    Overall though, I do agree with all your points. Some points more specifically are more cause for alarm than others for example abuse, abuse is never acceptable
    Is this still revelant?
    • Yes, you are right. Even because psychopathy has many levels and degrees. What I wrote was some red flags I took from my personal experience. And I also think that goes for both genders..

    • Thank you for the MHO! And for the thoughtful reply back! 😊

Most Helpful Girl

  • demurefaithe
    I feel like I might (my recent question goes into that). He cheated, gave me an sti, vaused my miscarriage and still finds a way to talk down on me even while im grieving. He says im crazy for bringing how i feel up but... I find his actions to be the craziest.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

1438
  • OlderAndWiser
    Experience is an efficient but very cruel teacher and it sounds like you have learned some valuable lessons. Hopefully, you won't repeat this mistake with your next relationship.
    • I've been single for years now. It's time for me to get over the trauma, you are right.
      I think everything happens for the right reason, in the right time...

    • Perhaps the right time for you will be soon.

    • Fingers crossed!🤞

  • ItsTheNephilim
    Psychopaths are often killers and committers of other crimes. The one you described above is 'Machiavellianism'.

    "Machiavellianism is characterized by manipulation and exploitation of others, an absence of morality, unemotional callousness, and a higher level of self interest. Psychopathy is characterized by continuous antisocial behavior, impulsivity, selfishness, callous and unemotional traits (CU), and remorselessness."
    Machiavellianism, narcissism and psychopathy together form the dark triad. Psychopathy is just a little more anti social and relentless machiavellianism.

    That being said there are still many degrees and levels to each of the dark triad. The ones who are called by people 'psychopaths' in their twenties are also seen to live happily married lives in their thirties or forties. It's just that they don't know what they want from themselves and their partner. Like everyone else, they're still exploring but could be a little too clueless.

    People showing machiavellianism however are well aware of their emotions and know what they want. They may or may not exploit everyone.
    • Yeah, I didn't google anything. I just wrote for experience. I apologize if I got something wrong.

    • Your experience and explanation is right in place. Just a little sidetracked on the terms and what they truly mean. Good piece nevertheless.

  • Kaneki05
    Even tho Norman Bates wasn't a psychopath he had a Personality disorder with Psychotic Traits. There is so much wrong in this MyTake of the understanding on mental health... But oh well you made the good point at the end An abusive relationship needs to be over damn right it does.
    • Sorry for the mistakes, I did the best I could. 🙂

  • anon1903
    Ahh I'd a similar take in mind called : how to know if Mr perfect is Mr perfectly deranged.

    I don't like calling out to specific disorders, quirks of psych student.

    I mostly agree with your Take, overall. Good job!

    PS. Can I still write my version? xD
    • Of course! I'm looking forward to read your point of view!💋

  • ArrowheadSW
    Years ago, a lady who I know, her best friend was dating a guy who was like this to the letter. It made me sick to hear about it. After a couple of years the lady wised up and broke up with the guy after he'd stole money from her. Sad story.
  • If you replace the psychopath with schizophrenic or any other mental illness it will be relatively clear who's the evil one here. What are you a psychologist? Funny when people read a book or two and think they are ') experts'.
    • Inbox

      You don't need a degree to be good at something.

    • I never said you did. I don't think elon went to many rocket science classes but I am assuming he didn't start a rocket company after reading a book... One or two books don't exactly make you good at something.

    • I was a psychology student. I'm sorry if what I wrote wasn't good enough for you, it was just an experience

  • elisa_0
    My dad always used to tell me (and still tells me) that:

    1. If you feel even the slightest bit of confusion, doubt or obsession toward someone, it’s not good. Leave now.

    2. If the person makes you feel like this is one of those fairytale storybook love romances, RED FLAG. Leave now.

    I’ve never been in an abusive relationship to this day and I’m also not planning on getting into one either.
  • robertKugler
    Good chance answer is yes... cause we all can or do have the characteristic s... or lack just one or two... or the characteristic is there but dormant until it's awakened.
    Or totally none existant untill that special somebody came into your life... right.. lol... also think there is a difference between acting like one and being one for real.
  • devilman666
    You realize only 1% of all humans are psychopath, right? You have almost certainly never met a psychopath and I am highly doubtful that reading a book makes you an expert on the subject. Chances are it was a normal dude and you misinterpreted the signs.
  • red324
    What happened to that show? It was good. lol I must be part psychopath.
  • 19vetteman91
    1st of all I'm a straight guy! But yes I dated a psycho plus I married her! We lived a hour away from each other for 6.5 years and were married for 5years I didn't realize that she was a narcissist until after I moved in with her and we had gotten married! We are now divorced but she still does what ever she can to try controlling me!
  • Someone who uses people? And doesn't care if they hurt them? And might even try to? And walks all over people to get ahead? No I'm usually not like that and the opposite and prefer the same kind of people.
  • strongmother
    I believe that when you are in a relationship that is toxic, you know what's up. You know the truth even if you don't want to admit it to yourself. Your gut instinct knows. A word of advice from actual experience with dating a psychopath, trust your gut and get away as quietly as possible.
  • NYCQuestions1976
    Unfortunately and sadly, this is extremely familiar to me.
  • destrosio
    It looks like the description of 70% of the women I dated.
    • Yes, women also have the same probability of showing these red flags

  • EABsTUQ
    I dated a girl who reminded me of one but I doubt she was because i was mostly just to young for her. I was to naïve.
  • worldscolide
    My ex was like this.. she was also physically violent, she committed felonies to keep track of me, by breaking in to corporate email. and when i broke up with her, she sliced my face up. Good mytake.
  • jliamnrich
    Do not date neither boys nor girls with gloving eyes
  • Kit_Kat88
    I was talking to one two months ago but that ended quickly
  • bluehen46
    Premature Love
    If the man you're dating sends an “I love you” on the third date, congratulations, you just joined the psycho-circus. Girls, we'd all like a man to fall in love with us so quickly, but that reality only rolls on the screen of the cinema. No normal human being falls in love that fast ~ and expresses that feeling ~ none. Forget it, you watched too much Cinderella in your childhood!

    Now this could be the case in many, but my late father and my late mother met and that night my father told my mother he met the girl he was going to marry. It was not even a date. They were introduced and had a meal together with other friends. Tehy were married 48 years and had 5 kids when he passed away.
  • ObscuredBeyond
    Been played enough times, that the minute a gal says something that just plain doesn't add up, I turn into a mix of Bradlee Dean, Michael Savage, and Jeremy Scott. The lie cannot be allowed to stand. All excuses must be vaporized. Preferably, she'll be smart enough to not take it personally. It's the dishonesty that must melt, not her.

    Alas, some of these women aren't that smart, and interpret everything personally. Explanation to the contrary doesn't even register.

    They find my dedication to the minutia irritating. As well as my reluctance to blindly follow anything.

    They act like I'm a psycho, but I'm totally honest with them. Anxiety issues, probably.
  • codyccc
    About 1% of people are psychopaths i was raised by two of them and i can tell you for a fact it far harder to then a checklist to from someone with a book to diagnose and many people show a few signs
  • Stevo-Irl
    Get them to do the EQi assessment and see how they score on empathy. But be careful, a clever psychopath will know to lie in that section! That's how they get passed then in companies.
  • sawno
    Only one i disagree with here is the speed of falling in love, with me that can happen Really quick. But only if we are insanely compatible. My record was a week with what felt like my soul mate. So it would not necessarily be a warning sign especially if you already know someone longer or are really compatible.

    As to answer the question the title poses, seeing trough people is a talent of mine. So i would not date a psychopath as you simply can't manipulate me like that. I'd catch on very quickly.
  • Hana03
    It's remind me... my deepest secret... webtoon... it's awesome... though I want a psychopath boyfriend too.🤭
  • duneshandy
    If you do run don't put yourself in that situation.
  • Apparently my wife is married to one. Pray for her.
  • Avicenna
    Wow, so true
  • AlexEfron
    Am I one? 😢
  • msc545
    This is more like a male borderline than a real psychopath... but well done!
  • No but I have before.
  • I'm not dating anybody.
  • Loredey
    No, I'm actually not dating anybody
  • legalboxers
    did.. past tense..
  • ryancg
    What you're describing is a fuckboy.
  • Chyenne
    I AM the psychopath, I double-dip at parties.
  • I hope I never date a psychopath.
  • Not anymore
  • asshole_
    No but sometimes I feel like I'm dating a ghost
  • ThisAndThat
    I'm pretty sure I dated 2 of them.
  • GreenGold1992
    No, but I did marry an axe murderer once
  • SuccessfulHornDog
    No but my girlfriend is
  • Yes, still licking vagina of four men.
  • Aphrodite_1998
    I don’t think so I wouldn’t.
  • B-wing
    I never had a lover
  • michael1469
    Well... she is female... ao yes.
  • Anonymous
    I just wanted to point out that women can be psychos too. If you haven't seen "A Simple Favor" with Blake Lively you need to. It's a great example.
  • Anonymous
    Thanks. Now I know what not to do as a psychopath.
  • Anonymous
    i did. he was hot
  • Anonymous
    A compliment to this excellent MyTake are the books written by Josette Sona. They talk about what you mentioned here (as well as offering a historical explanation). One of the best books I read on relationships.
    Some people do experience love at first sight. It's whether someone stays in love or not that is the question.
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