What Women REALLY Look For/How Both Genders Lack Maturity/Why Bad Boys Are AMAZING


3 Things Being Addressed and Combined:

1) What we really want and why guys' logical standard views on it are always false
2) How women are just as immature as men at certain times in life and how that is often misinterpreted
3) Why "bad boys" are known to get the girl

I'm just gonna say, you guys on here kill me with the posts about what our standards are - whether it's money, good looks, charisma, a gentleman or a bad boy, etc. It isn't that simple. Men are simple and think more logically. We are drawn by EMOTION. (I get it, to you guys it's rocket science.)


Take a look at it, if you care to.

It's true, though. We like emotion and that's how we think, mostly, especially before we've made too many mistakes in, say, our 30's and are finally like okay, I'll try to be smart now. But let's be honest. We like thrill. We like action. We like drama. We like fantasy. We like passion. Oh yeah... all of that. We like comforting you when you're mad or being passionate or even trying something different that might be a little risky but with a who-gives-a-shit attitude. That's not something we get from normal everyday guys.
If I'm in a classroom of 99 nice guys and there's just 1 sitting in the back corner, dressed differently than the other 99, acts completely different and can even be an asshole when the other 99 are all nice and all-the-time giving me flowers... Okay, sure, they're nice and that's great, but guess who my eyes are gonna be on: the outstander - the guy in the back.
So that explains the nice guy vs. bad boy scenario, for those of you who consistently ask it on here or wonder.

But different or outstanding doesn't have to mean a bad boy. It does explain how bad boys get the chicks a lot, though, especially when you consider biology and testosterone.
So, how come? Yes, nice guys can get the women, but you still have to stand out. I don't care what media you're attracted to, what kind of movies you watch, etc. ... whatever it is, every time the guy gets the girl, something made him stand out. EVERY TIME.
Okay, enough of the media. You guys don't usually care for that reference anyway. So let's talk about REAL LIFE. My example above pretty much gives you the idea. Substitute it with any characteristic - whether good or bad.

  • Maybe the 99 are all the bad boys, and the 1 in the back is a nice guy. It doesn't change the situation; he's gonna be the attention catcher. In the first scenario, we wanna know why he's a rebel/asshole. In this scenario, we wanna know why he's so nice instead.
  • Let's say the 99 guys are all charismatic and very good at communicating, but this one guy is such a shy introvert. Believe it or not, that's gonna draw our attention.
  • Or maybe the 99 guys are all made of money and are rich as hell, but this guy is broke and is somehow making it in his life and is here surrounded by rich people. He's catching our attention: we wanna know what he's doing here and how he made it here.

We like emotion; it's what we run on. Usually it takes a lot of time or hurt - or sometimes both, for stubborn people like me - for us to finally want to breathe and go with a guy just for him liking us. We don't want something boring. We want a wild ride. (No pun intended 😂 ) And some women never even grow out of this. Some do grow out of it and mature but still have that longing for it.

Most women, before we mature like I was saying or have "had enough," really do prefer the "opposites attract" rule. Ever notice how usually these guys get women they are complete opposites of? What I mean by this: a woman who has grown up around violent men all her life is more likely to want a nice guy, and a woman who is so used to being around nice guys is probably going to want a bad boy.

So there's no set standard of this trait is more well-liked than this trait, blah blah blah. You guys think of it that way because you're logical, which is a good thing, but for us, not so much.

We don't always go with what's best for us. We KNOW better, sure, but honestly we have our immaturities too, and that's not based on age. There are some women who actually go into high school already knowing what she wants in a man for the rest of her life and sticks to it. Then there are some of us who know better but just can't help ourselves at times. And there are some of us who just don't give a fuck and want the ride lol (again, no pun intended)
So, in this way, we really can't say men are always the immature ones simply because they always want sex. We are not immature for that same reason - no, of course not, because we're different and are meant to be - but we are no more mature when we love the thrill of what's not good for us when we are young and then in our later stages like oh shit, I shouldn't have done that.

What Women REALLY Look For/How Both Genders Lack Maturity/Why Bad Boys Are AMAZING

So to cap on what I mean by "thrill" and why this leads to bad boys being known to win us:
To an extent, to show my point, I'm gonna base this on a personal experience and what I know first-hand.

My first boyfriend was a "bad boy," and everybody knew it. He was always getting arrested into juvenile detention, always mischievous and causing problems, getting kicked out of school. But he didn't give a shit.

He was on marijuana when we first started dating, and he eventually became addicted to cocaine, crack, and meth.

He dressed like you see bad boys in movies. He actually fit that image very well.
I was 14 when we started, so very young and new to puberty, mind you, and he was 16 with much more experience.

So what the hell made me love this guy?

First thing, as I said, he didn't give a shit. He was never concerned about tomorrow; he wanted to live his life his own way and get by day-by-day. This attracted me and made me enjoy my days more - giving thanks for every beautiful moment with no worry.
Second, as I mentioned earlier, his testosterone was a turn-on. He was aggressive in certain situations, he wasn't afraid to protect me and make it well-known that I was his and only his, and he was a major risk-taker. He tried a lot of rude things with me, my dad hated him more than anything, and I never gave in to him because I knew better, but it doesn't mean that the thrilling experience of always being "on my toes" was ever boring.
He was talented. He was a guitarist in a rock band, and watching him play gave me a huge stimulus. That kind of talent is NOT common. (goes with my point about wanting something outstanding)
He was confident, which kind-of combines the first two. He wasn't one to freak out over slight ridiculous things, but he was never a push-over. His attitude was more like, "I am who I am, and if you don't like me then go the fuck somewhere else."
To combine all this, he had emotion. He was never boring, and no time I ever spent with him has ever been duplicated because he's been the only bad boy I've ever dated. Times like that only come with somebody who's a big risk-taker. Add with that the emotion he showed, which brings forth his passionate side.

So was it the best thing for me? No, not at all. And trust me, my dad had a fit during that time. But, interestingly enough, even now at 23, I feel like I might not quite be over my "bad boy" stage yet...

Conclusion: Guys, it's not a logical standard that can be set for what we look for based on certain characteristics. We go on emotion, not logic. All of these times on here you guys ask which characteristics we want, I feel bad for you in a sympathetic way. That doesn't mean that we make the best decisions, either. We tend to like what's bad for us in this way, yeah, what a paradox. Some women are mature from the start and know they don't need a bad boy and know what they want. Some are that way but are too prone too temptation. And still some don't care and want that day-to-day thrill, up-beat emotion, and carelessness all their lives.

So, in a way, both genders are immature up to a certain point in our own way. Men generally want sex and one-night stands, and women want emotion, and both genders usually will succumb to it when they get the opportunity. Until, of course, we reach that stage where we realize it's like a bad drug for us and force ourselves to resist the temptation, and for some of us that may never come...

What Women REALLY Look For/How Both Genders Lack Maturity/Why Bad Boys Are AMAZING
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Most Helpful Guys

  • blutwolfe
    hit the nail on the head, emotions and treating her like a lady, she don't wanna be it well there's the door, I follow a dream it ain't the best one, and I done stuff I ain't proud of but at least I ain't locked up that's a blessing

    Sure there's different kind of bad boys
    Like 1 Person
    Is this still revelant?
  • NYCQuestions1976
    Nice Take. Many times women also have the perpetual urge to want to "fix" the guy they're with, which goes to the attraction of emotion and drama you describe.
    Like 1 Person
    Is this still revelant?
    • YES. I forgot to put that so THANK YOU for mentioning it!
      That's where we get ourselves into trouble: we go into it thinking maybe we can help the guy and change him, but he's not that kind of guy and he's more the crazy type then we end up hurt.

    • Thanks for Most Helpful. 👍

    • somehow they never wanna fix boring lol

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • hellionthesagereborn
    Yeah, every one knows women go for bad boys, thats not new. The thing that people have issue with is that its really really fucking stupid, and then when your old and washed up because you've gone after the bad boy and they keep fucking you over so your just filled with emotional baggage (maybe a single mother at that point) and your looks are fading because the bad boy went with another younger women instead of you, you decide to "settle down" i. e. use a nice guy as your safety net for a life of stupidity and bad decisions.

    I don't care that you go after bad boys, in fact any woman who does is immediatley unattractive to me, nothing turns me off of a woman faster. So I don't have issue with that, its just the woe is me attitude that inevitablly comes later and the lying and suckering a guy into being with you after your used up that bothers me. As long as you can be consistent with your principles of choosing a bad boy because your incappable of controling your own impulses fine, do your thing, just don't make your stupid mistakes some one elses problems.

    I mean your argument is like a man trying to justify cheating, he just can't help it after all, its his libido not him so you shouldn't judge him on it. Its a pretty shit argument honestly (but again, as long as you don't screw over others (and you will as all women who do this do) then I don't care.).
    Like 4 People
    • 1. I don’t screw over anybody, guy or girl. If I like bad boys then that’s my problem and won’t be yours.
      2. It’s nothing like cheating. Cheating is not just libido.
      But whatever you say

    • 1. Fine then. Like I said I couldn't care any less what you do with your life, just so long as when you reach thirty and your looks fade and the bad boys are going off to younger prettier girls who are equally stupid, I don't want to hear from you how "were have the good men gone?" or the classic "I just want to settle down with a nice guy" bullshit that every single other woman who does this, does. No self pity, no screwing over others. As long as you can manage that I don't care. Its like drug use, your free to do it, its stupid but your choice, just don't end up robbing and hurting people to feed your habit.

      2. No its not. Your yourself have pointed out that this is a poor choice, you know its a poor choice but your going to do it anyway. Hows that different then cheating? Its not, its impulsive behavior that hurts others and the self but you do it anyway because you think you can avoid the consequences of the act. Its exactly the same, animals acting like animals.

    • 1. Then everything you’re saying is pointless lol
      2. Because cheating is wrong and hurts the other person and CAN be prevented. You said he “can’t help it” lmao... There’s no excuse for it. Whereas, if I like bad boys, that’s my decision and doesn’t affect you. Nothing wrong with liking bad boys. Both are stupid decisions, yes, but cheating is wrong and hurts others. Choosing who I like might affect me negatively and it might not, but it’s not wrong and it’s my decision and my life to deal with it if it does.

    • Show All
  • Barbaric
    You're right about some things, and wrong about others.

    Where you're correct is that women are emotionally driven, particularly younger women. However, you're still a young woman. You don't have the maturity yet, you're still trying to make sense of all of this, and it shows. I'm not trying to patronise you here, it's just the truth.

    The way young women decide on partners is like this:
    1) feel emotion
    2) backwards rationalise it, attempt to explain it to yourself

    You backwards rationalise everything you do. Most of this take is backwards rationalisation. Whenever you backwards rationalise anything, you don't always (or should I say usually) come up with the right answer.

    This is why I think you're talking about nice guys, shy guys and poor guys being attractive just because they're different. That's not true at all. Standing out is a good thing - only if done in the right way. One guy I remember from college was a guy who looked like this guy, only his hair was dyed pink:What Women REALLY Look For/How Both Genders Lack Maturity/Why Bad Boys Are AMAZINGEveryone just thought he was a weirdo and avoided him for the most part. At best people were curious to know why he dressed like that, but that's all. He wasn't having to beat women off of him with a stick. He stood out for the wrong reaons. That's an extreme example, but those other examples are also examples of guys standing out for the wrong reasons.

    There is logic behind the things women look for, it's just not the kind of logic people in modern civilisation are used to. What people don't understand is that for 99% of our existence as humans we lived in small hunter-gatherer tribes. Then we developed agriculture around 12,000 years ago, which then led to the creation of civilisation. Then we had the industrial revolution a couple of hundred years ago, leading to what we have today.

    In the time-line of human existence that's tiny. Our cultures evolved much faster than we did as humans. Therefore we have the same deeper programming we had before we became civilised.

    Attraction is based on instinct. Instinct comes from the part of the brain known as the "lizard" brain or the "primitive" brain. This is the part of the brain which remains unchanged since the beginning of our existence.

    The point is this: the things we're instinctively attracted to now are the same things we were instinctively attracted to thousands of years ago. That's why it doesn't seem logical to modern people. It's not based on the logic of "this person would make a great long-term partner because they're nice", it's based on the logic of "this person would make a great partner based on their ability to give me strong and healthy children who'll survive these harsh conditions".

    There are evolutionary reasons for why you choose "bad boys". Think about the confident bad boy vs the shy nice guy back in those times. Maybe think of them as "wild and uncivilised" vs "polite and civilised". Which one would be better suited to a time where tribal warfare was common, where they needed to hunt and fight and take no shit? The bad boy obviously. The nice guy would be useless.

    In today's world though, bad boys get into shit and go to jail. They don't function well in civilisation, they're not civilised. Nice guys are. The reason women in their 30s "come to their senses" isn't because they suddenly become more attracted to nice guys, they choose to go with them out of practicality and they kind of "settle" for the guy. Often after failing to get a bad boy to commit. The "bad boy phase" you say you're "not out of" now - you'll never truly be out of.

    Bad boys stand out because most guys today are socialised to be nice guys. Civilised. Well-behaved. But they're also just attractive for the above reasons. The guy in the picture stands out because he's weird. He also would be no good in such a scenario either, he's a wimp, that's why he's not attractive either.
    Like 2 People
    • True true

    • The small tribe behaviour is often seen today as well. As a larger society we are civilized but when you break us down into small groups , we often fall back to very primitive and illogical behaviour. Its easily seen is small classes of kids, even middle schoolers and highschoolers. But you can even find it in adults in offices and workplaces of 10-20 people.

      There is less fighting and rarely any killing but i have seen some real monkey shit among grown professional adults. Its kinda funny sometimes.

    • Barbaric


      100%. We're tribal by nature and that's never gonna go away.

  • Bluemax
    Very interesting. Agreed with most of it.

    In your opinion, what is different about the girls who *don't* like the bad boys? I've known several women for as long as you've been alive who don't like bad boys. I've known them back when they were teens. They never dated bad boys and never liked them. I have a theory or two about why that is, but I'm curious why you think that is.

    The bad boy you dated at 14, did he hurt other people or just himself and you? If he hurt other people, did you ever meet the people he hurt?

    By the way, much of what gets labeled as a "bad boy" on GAG isn't what I would call a bad boy (though it's possible your boyfriend at 14 might fit my description). Risk taking, high testosterone, etc. are not what I'd call bad boys. Believe it or not, I've heard cigarette smoking, riding a motorcycle and wearing leather as being called a bad boy on GAG. By that definition, I'm a bad boy (and I can't write that sentence without laughing!). None of this is what I call bad behavior. Being willfully cruel is bad behavior.
    Like 2 People
  • TruthBringer
    I have to compliment you for actually admitting what we red pilled men are screaming all this time instead of saying one thing, but wanting the other like most women. Which is saying they want a nice guy who does nice guy things, but actually go out with the badboy/asshole. It is a breath of fresh air to see a woman speak the truth on what she wants and what women out there want. Yes, women want bad boys. Not nice guys.

    Although I have to add that the term 'bad boy' is quite broad and a guy doesn't have to be a troublemaker/thug/criminal to be considered a 'bad boy'.

    In my case, I'm quite succesful having two bachelors and being an Officer in the military. Being a thug/criminal would never get me in an Officer's function. I simply have the no fucks given mindset, because I couldn't care less what people think of me unless it's genuine and constructive critisism. I also care enough not to walk around like an idiot in public. I do know that people talk shit wether you're successful or not. On top of that I hit the gym, have the 'bad boy' body and doing martial arts.

    When I was in college, the girls who I had arguments with always ended up either bending the knee or try to win over my validation by acting nice and interested in what I'm doing at that moment. An example I can give is that one girl who was struggling with her grades coming with excuses why she wasn't doing her part in our group project. Because she was focussing on other subjects she had to re-do. I put her in her place saying it shouldn't affect our progress because it's not our problem, even though I understand her situation. After she became all emotional about it, she was rolling her eyes and giving me the cold shoulder whenever she sees me in school. She saw I couldn't care less and wasn't chasing her to like me back (which other guys such as her exes were doing apparentely). Eventually she started chatting with me and paying interest in what I was eating (meat) even though she is a vegan. Since then she was being all 'nice' to me. I know that she had some respect for me, because she saw I stood my ground, put her in her place (which the nice guys orbiting don't do) and wasn't chasing her. Her seeing me walking with my (hotter) girlfriend outside in public. That's more affirmation for her that I got options.

    I've always been the bold and taking the lead during dates (should be expected from someone taking a leading role in the military). Girls perceive me as a bit 'rude' during dates, but always get turned on when I tell them what they want, what they should do or what I expect from them if they wish to keep me. The nice guy sees the girl as the prize, while the bad boy sees himself as the prize. You don't do as I say (while reasonable and realistic ofcourse)? I next you. I used to be a hopeless romantic nice guy. Never worked out for me. Despite people call me 'good looking'. It's thanks to the red pill that I discovered the bad boy mentality. I've always knew it from the inside, I just couldn't lay my finger on it at the time. I also make it absolutely clear to a girl when I'm not interested in her long term other than sex. And leave the choice to her if she still wants to have intercourse. Then she wouldn't got with me in bed with false hope.
    Like 2 People
  • Lman3000
    What is it with the fucking photos of men on motorcycle's shirtless? who the fuck acts or dresses like this? and the bad look or attitude, Pfffft please the fuck are we in high school in the 70's? People nowadays are so stupid no one knows what they want.
    Like 2 People
    • Didn’t see where this post was about fashion. I guess I missed that part 😂

  • EmmaMary
    @yads_is_back Yet another first class, excellent, interesting and informative MyTake.
    Gosh, how I wish I had just 10% of your incredible creative writing skills.
    LikeDisagree 5 People
  • Liam_Hayden
    1) What we really want and why guys' logical standard views on it are always false.

    So it is not correct even once for the more than 3.5 billion women on the planet or all of the billions who have died? I call B. S.
    Like 1 Person
    • When you say that ALL women are that way, then yes that’s always false. In a way you proved my point on that so thanks

  • 888theGreat
    Bad Boys , Bad Boys , what ya going to do when Yads makes a move on you?

    You are honest. I always say women vote with emotion, not logic , but with feelings.
    LikeDisagree 4 People
  • IlyaTheImpaler
    I used to be bad when I was 12, I would always choose rogue/assassin/trickster class, high agility, high dps, I kill all enemies and I kill all NPCs, I would sell out quest givers if it benefits me, I would betray any group to gain power, I was above the rules, no chains can hold me. I literally dealt like 10k damage backstabbing the high priest of Cthulhu and he died in 30 seconds. It was exciting at first, then it became too easy...
    Then I realized aside from the easy path, there is also the path of being good, the hard path. It's much harder to defeat powerful enemies when you play by the rules, and it gives more intense adrenaline rush. I still remember being a straitlaced knight captain who was a threat to this powerful hidden organization, after finishing some tough mission, my boss called me to his office for the report. Two new guards showed at the door, I didn't think much of it, then when the door closed behind me I realized it was an ambush, I had 1 minute to kill my boss and the two guards then escape the barrack, it was one of the most exciting and tricky fight I ever experienced. Had to reload that save like 50 times

    So I'm thinking what if getting a girl is the same way 🤔
    • When it happened I was like fuck me you can't be serious, how is this fair? both the guards and my boss were higher level than me, my boss was the general of the army, he's extremely powerful. I had to run around for awhile to think of a strategy to deal with them. Overall the story doesn't have a good ending but it's a much better story.

  • Johnewy
    You are right, women want an emotional connection, so do men but also want sex.
    Thing is women can like the way you look and you could also be successful but if you are an idiot or whatever she will stop being interested.
    Men will put up with an idiot girl if she's hot, but if she too crazy even men have their limits with an run.
    Like 2 People
  • bamesjond0069
    Usually if a girl fucks a druggie drop out i just consider her trash and don't want anything with her.
    Like 2 People
    • Yeah, understandable. I had to get away before things got to that point.

  • Browneye57
    Way way too long, but quite good. You write and think like a guy. LIKE
    Like 1 Person
    • Thanks. Should I take offense at the second part? lol

    • It's a compliment. You understand men WAY better than at least 90% of women.
      More fun facts...
      Men are very simple creatures. It's the women that are fussy and temperamental. But if they want to KEEP their guy, she needs to provide these three things:
      1. Sex
      2. Food
      3. Love/respect/attention.
      If you give him all of what he wants of these (yes, he HAS to be WORTH it) he'll "Swim through shark infested waters to bring you lemonade." __Dr. Laura. Yes, he'll remain forever loyal and true you, love you 'till the ends of the earth.
      About half of women get this, maybe a little more, the rest either don't believe it, can't be bothered, or simply refuse. Some think it's beneath them.
      Then they wonder why he wanders off looking for a woman who WILL give them.
      It's just not rocket science.

      How to please a woman? Well, it's complicated, but money and good looks goes a LONG way. ;)

  • DonCachondo
    Seems a bit self-defeating for a lot of the girls to go for 1 out of 100 guys specifically because they're only 1 in a 100. It's like "Fuck peace and social harmony, I'm gonna make shit as complicated and competitive as possible and later complain about exactly that!"
    Like 1 Person
  • startingfitness
    It is definitely true. Most girls especially young girls choose men who aren't good for them unfortunatley that also damages them.

    This is why young girls shouldn't be allowed to chose their partners. Their parents should do it for them.
    LikeDisagree 4 People
    • family involvement is one thing but forcing nuh uh

    • @DonCachondo well if the girl doesn't like the guy the parents puck out then she shouldn't have to. im thinking them giving her an option would be at least better than the "you are not allowed to date any boys". at least this way they have a choice and that person could be a lot better as a boyfriend/husband.

    • *pick out.

  • Hispanic-Cool-Guy
    I should punch you in the tummy for making me read all this.

    Lucky, I love you. 😛
    LikeDisagree 3 People
  • Sevenpointfive
    when i get horny i put a toothpict in my meatus that has a whit flag on it. it isn't comfortable and no one sees it, but it helps me sleep at night until i rollover
    Like 1 Person
    You did say you want a tall blond with blue eyes. Maybe thats why you like me. 😏😎
    Like 1 Person
    • Nah. And you aren’t even blonde lol

    • GASP!! That hit me in my heart. But then you did say i was handsome. 😎

    • What does this have to do with the post? I hope you're not saying that blonde men can't be bad boys. lol My bad boy was blonde.
      And yeah, I did. Doesn't mean anything more or else lol

    • Show All
  • Thatsamazing
    So... your first boyfriend was making terrible choices. Okay. I still don't understand the attraction.
    Like 2 People
  • Prof_Don
    It’s like my dad always says, “don’t be the responsible guy; be the fun guy. Girls always fuck the fun guy”.
    Like 1 Person
  • Jack9949
    Makes sense ig. If a guy is like everybody else then we’re not worth investigating.
    Like 2 People
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