3 Things Being Addressed and Combined:
1) What we really want and why guys' logical standard views on it are always false
2) How women are just as immature as men at certain times in life and how that is often misinterpreted
3) Why "bad boys" are known to get the girl
I'm just gonna say, you guys on here kill me with the posts about what our standards are - whether it's money, good looks, charisma, a gentleman or a bad boy, etc. It isn't that simple. Men are simple and think more logically. We are drawn by EMOTION. (I get it, to you guys it's rocket science.)
Take a look at it, if you care to.
It's true, though. We like emotion and that's how we think, mostly, especially before we've made too many mistakes in, say, our 30's and are finally like okay, I'll try to be smart now. But let's be honest. We like thrill. We like action. We like drama. We like fantasy. We like passion. Oh yeah... all of that. We like comforting you when you're mad or being passionate or even trying something different that might be a little risky but with a who-gives-a-shit attitude. That's not something we get from normal everyday guys.
If I'm in a classroom of 99 nice guys and there's just 1 sitting in the back corner, dressed differently than the other 99, acts completely different and can even be an asshole when the other 99 are all nice and all-the-time giving me flowers... Okay, sure, they're nice and that's great, but guess who my eyes are gonna be on: the outstander - the guy in the back.
So that explains the nice guy vs. bad boy scenario, for those of you who consistently ask it on here or wonder.
But different or outstanding doesn't have to mean a bad boy. It does explain how bad boys get the chicks a lot, though, especially when you consider biology and testosterone.
So, how come? Yes, nice guys can get the women, but you still have to stand out. I don't care what media you're attracted to, what kind of movies you watch, etc. ... whatever it is, every time the guy gets the girl, something made him stand out. EVERY TIME.
Okay, enough of the media. You guys don't usually care for that reference anyway. So let's talk about REAL LIFE. My example above pretty much gives you the idea. Substitute it with any characteristic - whether good or bad.
- Maybe the 99 are all the bad boys, and the 1 in the back is a nice guy. It doesn't change the situation; he's gonna be the attention catcher. In the first scenario, we wanna know why he's a rebel/asshole. In this scenario, we wanna know why he's so nice instead.
- Let's say the 99 guys are all charismatic and very good at communicating, but this one guy is such a shy introvert. Believe it or not, that's gonna draw our attention.
- Or maybe the 99 guys are all made of money and are rich as hell, but this guy is broke and is somehow making it in his life and is here surrounded by rich people. He's catching our attention: we wanna know what he's doing here and how he made it here.
We like emotion; it's what we run on. Usually it takes a lot of time or hurt - or sometimes both, for stubborn people like me - for us to finally want to breathe and go with a guy just for him liking us. We don't want something boring. We want a wild ride. (No pun intended 😂 ) And some women never even grow out of this. Some do grow out of it and mature but still have that longing for it.
Most women, before we mature like I was saying or have "had enough," really do prefer the "opposites attract" rule. Ever notice how usually these guys get women they are complete opposites of? What I mean by this: a woman who has grown up around violent men all her life is more likely to want a nice guy, and a woman who is so used to being around nice guys is probably going to want a bad boy.
So there's no set standard of this trait is more well-liked than this trait, blah blah blah. You guys think of it that way because you're logical, which is a good thing, but for us, not so much.
We don't always go with what's best for us. We KNOW better, sure, but honestly we have our immaturities too, and that's not based on age. There are some women who actually go into high school already knowing what she wants in a man for the rest of her life and sticks to it. Then there are some of us who know better but just can't help ourselves at times. And there are some of us who just don't give a fuck and want the ride lol (again, no pun intended)
So, in this way, we really can't say men are always the immature ones simply because they always want sex. We are not immature for that same reason - no, of course not, because we're different and are meant to be - but we are no more mature when we love the thrill of what's not good for us when we are young and then in our later stages like oh shit, I shouldn't have done that.
So to cap on what I mean by "thrill" and why this leads to bad boys being known to win us:
To an extent, to show my point, I'm gonna base this on a personal experience and what I know first-hand.
My first boyfriend was a "bad boy," and everybody knew it. He was always getting arrested into juvenile detention, always mischievous and causing problems, getting kicked out of school. But he didn't give a shit.
He was on marijuana when we first started dating, and he eventually became addicted to cocaine, crack, and meth.
He dressed like you see bad boys in movies. He actually fit that image very well.
I was 14 when we started, so very young and new to puberty, mind you, and he was 16 with much more experience.
So what the hell made me love this guy?
First thing, as I said, he didn't give a shit. He was never concerned about tomorrow; he wanted to live his life his own way and get by day-by-day. This attracted me and made me enjoy my days more - giving thanks for every beautiful moment with no worry.
Second, as I mentioned earlier, his testosterone was a turn-on. He was aggressive in certain situations, he wasn't afraid to protect me and make it well-known that I was his and only his, and he was a major risk-taker. He tried a lot of rude things with me, my dad hated him more than anything, and I never gave in to him because I knew better, but it doesn't mean that the thrilling experience of always being "on my toes" was ever boring.
He was talented. He was a guitarist in a rock band, and watching him play gave me a huge stimulus. That kind of talent is NOT common. (goes with my point about wanting something outstanding)
He was confident, which kind-of combines the first two. He wasn't one to freak out over slight ridiculous things, but he was never a push-over. His attitude was more like, "I am who I am, and if you don't like me then go the fuck somewhere else."
To combine all this, he had emotion. He was never boring, and no time I ever spent with him has ever been duplicated because he's been the only bad boy I've ever dated. Times like that only come with somebody who's a big risk-taker. Add with that the emotion he showed, which brings forth his passionate side.
So was it the best thing for me? No, not at all. And trust me, my dad had a fit during that time. But, interestingly enough, even now at 23, I feel like I might not quite be over my "bad boy" stage yet...
Conclusion: Guys, it's not a logical standard that can be set for what we look for based on certain characteristics. We go on emotion, not logic. All of these times on here you guys ask which characteristics we want, I feel bad for you in a sympathetic way. That doesn't mean that we make the best decisions, either. We tend to like what's bad for us in this way, yeah, what a paradox. Some women are mature from the start and know they don't need a bad boy and know what they want. Some are that way but are too prone too temptation. And still some don't care and want that day-to-day thrill, up-beat emotion, and carelessness all their lives.
So, in a way, both genders are immature up to a certain point in our own way. Men generally want sex and one-night stands, and women want emotion, and both genders usually will succumb to it when they get the opportunity. Until, of course, we reach that stage where we realize it's like a bad drug for us and force ourselves to resist the temptation, and for some of us that may never come...