If you want to read more about my experience with dating apps (Badoo, Tinder, Lovoo), check out this take that I wrote on my general conclusions and this take on my specific encounters.
I met the second guy I described in this take a couple of days ago and wanted to share my reflections on this topic with you.
This was not a date, simply a meet-up. I had made sure beforehand that he knew what to expect and what not to expect.
Small disclaimer: I know how to keep myself safe and wanted to write a take on this simply to show others that not all men are creepy. Please don't offer advice in the comment section here, what I'm describing already took place & I'm still alive :)
This take focusses on the first encounter we had in real life, whereas this take is about the second time we met.
Planning
He had cancelled on me three times already and didn't seem like he was too eager to meet me, which is something I absolutely hate. When he cancelled on me the third time, I told him he could meet me either the next day or a day after that. If he hadn't accepted my offer, I would've left.
I was really fed up with his behaviour and didn't feel like dealing with his strange attitude any longer. Luckily, he took me seriously, told me he'd visit me the next day and I went to sleep satisfied.
Meeting him
Unfortunately, he overslept, missed his train and had to take a much later one. When I was *finally* certain that he was actually on his way, I put on a normal outfit, some mascara, put my hair up and started to walk in his direction. Note that I had been cleaning the apartment all day and was not in a good mood overall.
As I was walking there, he kept emphasising (via text and voice messages) that he didn't have a lot of time and had to stick to a "tight schedule", which seemed odd to me considering that he had just spent almost 3 hours on the train to finally see me.
I didn't find him immediately and when I did, he greeted me but told me again that he had a very tight schedule. I tried laughing it off and asked him how much time he had for me and when he told me he only had 15 minutes, I assumed he was joking.
Unfortunately, it wasn't a joke - we ended up talking to one another with a distance of approximately 2-3m and then got food for his friend (who had interestingly accompanied him on a >5h train ride without knowing why this was necessary). I tried masking my disappointment and confusion and probably did fairly well, considering that I only had to pretend to be okay for 15 minutes.
The aftermath
More so than being disappointed, I was really underwhelmed by the whole experience. It had taken me longer to get to the meeting point (one way!) than we had actually spent time together.
Also, I was surprised that he hadn't offered to order food for me too, I would've paid, but as a friend, I had expected him to care about my wellbeing a little more. The fact that he maintained that much physical distance between us was very odd to me at first, I thought that I smelled awful or looked that repulsing in person and felt really insecure. The only aspect about my appearance he highlighted in person was my jacket ("nice jacket by the way!").
There really wasn't anything good about the whole experience that stood out to me other than the fact that he had spent half of his day traveling to see me.
Once we were both at home again, we called each other like nothing had happened and played some games together for a bit until we started discussing what the hell had taken place that day.
Him eliminating the awkwardness between us
He apologised for most aspects within minutes of that phone call without me having to make him understand what had went wrong.
He explained that he had kept the insane amount of distance between us because I had told him before that I love my personal space and appreciate it when people don't disturb that. I laughed that one off and told him he didn't have to worry about being too close - I can defend my personal space well. When someone is too close, I will either tell them or gently push them away, depending on how well I know that person.
He then went on to say that he would've loved to offer to pay for food (which is too much for me) but that he knew I didn't want that. I explained again why this is my point of view and told him that there would be a time and a place for that situation to take place.
In the end, I felt light-hearted and told him I was looking foward to meeting him again, hopefully a little longer this time.
What are your experiences when meeting someone in real life for the first time?
Very curious to read your responses to my experience :)!
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