Slowly falling for him, him hugging strangers, a really cute letter - date #7


This is about a guy I've known for more than three months now.

Here are some of the other takes about him (most recent to least recent);

Making memories together, him biting but not kissing me yet - date #6

Going exclusive is scary. Why won't he kiss me? [Three months of online dating series]

Finally feeling more comfortable, date #4 [Three months of online dating series]

He was angry at me for not telling him the whole story about another guy (the one I met before we were exclusive). He didn't want to come, he didn't want to give me the letter I've been waiting for for two to three weeks now. I told him that unless he'd be willing to give me at least one of the two letters he had for me, he should stay home.

Special spot #1

After a healthy banter, he got himself up and came. I showed him a special spot I like - I really thought he'd kiss me there, I had brought ginger bread with me to set the mood or whatever, can't really explain it now but he appreciated it. The atmosphere was amazing. He gave me the letter.

He didn't kiss me.

[Photo by Lucrezia Carnelos on Unsplash]
[Photo by Lucrezia Carnelos on Unsplash]

Special spot #2

We went to another amazing spot, I opened the letter, read it out loud, couldn't stop smiling. He'd written it before our fourth date I believe, on the train - he didn't have a pen on him, but a nice girl gave him one when she realised he really wanted to write stuff down and he gave the pen to me to symbolize how special everything was.

I really thought he'd kiss me there. In the letter, he asked me to start a serious, committed relationship once this year/me recovering from losing that one online best friend I'd had was over. I cannot put into words how much it means to me that he respects this. I've written a handful of anonymous posts on this best friend, we were so close and he left when I would have needed him the most. He had to leave for his own sake, but he hurt and broke me and I'm not fixed entirely yet.

I only told him the background story of why it affected me so much when this guy left yesterday (the date was a bit longer ago than that). I haven't opened up to anyone before about what exactly - things went from bad to horrifying. After I told him, he said that many things made way more sense now.

Anyways, he didn't kiss me when I opened the letter.

[Photo by Thomas Grams on Unsplash]
[Photo by Thomas Grams on Unsplash]

Food in the rain and ice cream

We wanted to go to our favourite café to get hot chocolate, so we walked for a bit to get there, got food, ate it in the rain, snuggled up to one another. When we got to the café, I sat down, he had to take a phone call again, I waited very patiently - unfortunately though, they were out of hot chocolate (how does that even happen?), so we left and got ice cream.

We were so close, I was enjoying his company so much, I thought he'd kiss me - and then the owner of the ice cream place showed up and started an intense conversation (he had talked to this guy after taking the phone call & promised him we'd go there). He put on a weird accent, I kicked him in the ribs and whispered that he ought to stop doing that (it's weird and kinda rude too but people expect him to have an accent), he got up, opened his arms to add movement to the conversation and the guy thought he wanted to hug him so they hugged. In front of me. It was weird, we laughed it off later but I definitely made him disinfect his hands after that happened.

He didn't kiss me. The ice cream guy totally ruined our moment.

The long walk to drop him off

Never had this walk seemed as long as it did on that day. He stopped me so many times to hug and tell me that he'd miss me, that he enjoyed this day so much, that he really liked me etc.

I bit him back that time, a little harder than I'd intended, he sought revenge and bit me really hard into my cheek, I almost had bite marks in my face LOL (it was all fine). He told me he had to pee and that I should go to a store that was still open for me to be safe (awful neighbourhood). When I agreed without talking back at him, he kissed my neck and was really happy. He told me later he'd gotten "the feels" and had just had to kiss my neck.

I went to the store, looked for something I could get him for his train ride back, but he's really picky and they were out of everything I know he likes. When he returned, he already knew he had to disinfect his hands, we've already built an entire routine, it's pretty neat.

He sat me down to talk to me, I thought he'd finally kiss me, but he didn't.

When we were at the train station, we sat down, snuggled up again, I thanked him for all the good things he'd said or done that day, told him I was grateful for everything and that I loved the way he's treating me. He looked at me in a very intense way, I bit him really playfully because we were so close anyways - he traced the contours of my face with his nose, but still -

He didn't kiss me.

[Photo by Meghan Holmes on Unsplash]
[Photo by Meghan Holmes on Unsplash]

Finally talking to him about the kissing thing (afterwards)

I'd told him there was something I wanted to ask him but always pulled out of it last minute plenty of times. He wasn't having any of that, so when he told me that I should just tell him, I warned him that there'd be consequences and that it would ruin something between us. He insisted that he already knew what I was talking about, so I texted him about it (he didn't want to wait until he'd see me again, we weren't in the mood for a phone call and I can phrase my thoughts much better when texting).

He hadn't known what I was thinking or talking about. It was awkward because he felt sorry for me - we then had a phone call that lasted more than five hours where we did a deep dive with many topics. He said that he'd thought about kissing me before and that he'd tried to on our sixth date - I hadn't noticed that at all.

He explained that he hadn't found the perfect moment yet and that he couldn't explain why but that he wasn't 100% ready yet. I respect that, but I also told him that I'd have been fine with him kissing me on our second date and that I've really wanted him to kiss me since our third date.

He then said that we may not have enough chemistry. I don't know about that. I know we could have a really great relationship and that he's one of the only people I allowed to fantasize about moving to another country with me, going on holiday together, getting married eventually. I only talk about 10% of what we doon here, you don't know me or him, so I understand that this may sound weird and cringey, but I feel very comfortable tallking about these topics with him.

[Photo by Meriç Dağlı on Unsplash]
[Photo by Meriç Dağlı on Unsplash]

We don't share a religion, but unless we had children, I believe it would be okay. He's the first guy I've ever met that appreciates me being this religious. He sees how it affects me in a good way, how my core values are different because of it and how important it is for my entire life.

I like how we're both not that close to our family, I don't like it when people talk to their parents EVERY day unless they're old and need help.

It's difficult for him to open up about his family. I get that. But he tries and that counts.

I see how much he likes me in his actions.

What do you think about all of this?

Have you ever talked about why someone wouldn't want/be able to kiss you?

Slowly falling for him, him hugging strangers, a really cute letter - date #7
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1Girl Opinion
3Guy Opinion

Most Helpful Guys

  • Pulseofsulfur
    He seems like a great guy to talk to and date. But hopefully that's who he is
    Is this still revelant?
    • What do you mean? Are you implying that he lied to me?

    • Well sometimes guys try to put on a fake personality but when they show their true colors they're completely different. But he doesn't seem fake or a lier

    • Hmm. I agree with you that some people, both men and women do that, usually to impress others - we were always really open with one another and can talk about any topic in real life just as we were able to talk about that online.
      I think it's really important to be clear about your intentions from the start.
      If you are, good things will come to you, right?

    • Show All
  • Avicenna
    Wow, this is serious!
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • spartan55
    Wth is with biting each other?
    • Absolutely no clue, but he seems to really like it (not in an aggressive way though!)

    • spartan55

      You don't bite people wtf? That's REALLY bizarre.

    • :D I think it's quite normal when you're into each other actually - imagine kissing someone and holding their lips with your teeth. You don't "bite" per se - you just grab someone's skin in a more intimate & playful way.
      I hope that makes sense. It's not supposed to hurt!

    • Show All
  • Luna1998
    Awe thats so cute