I know that the pandemic is still going strong in many parts of the world and some are still in some hardcore lockdowns, however I'm bringing this up in the hopes it will build some anticipation to go out again, and I'm also pretty curious to hear peoples opinions on this.
Now my guess is that many or most of you will believe I'm cheap after reading the title. I will only ever pay my own bill on the first date and probably most dates thereafter, and it's not likely that I will stray from this practice any time within my life, unless I'm rich without a care in the world about money.
In most cultures, if you're a guy, it is a general rule that you will pay the bill on the first date and pretty much any date thereafter. This is an old tradition that has stayed strong even in these times of equality. What people don't seem to get is that women don't make a fraction of what men used to make anymore. They fought for their equality. I would completely understand if it's a general rule that men always pay the bill if the women don't make anywhere near their income. But that is not the case nowadays.
We always talk about how we want our partners to be our best friends and that we are equal nowadays and yet when we go out to a restaurant or anywhere recreational, it is almost always the man paying the bill. This is because we apply a different standard to our date than our best friend. If you truly want your partner to be your best friend, then pay your own share and make them feel like they're not paying for your time. Men also want to be valued and you refusing to pay your own bill implies that your time is more valuable than his. Why should the man's wallet be the only one hurting?
Then there's the argument where guys say: "You're not a real man if you refuse to pay the bill." What is a real man then? You might as well be a sugar daddy if that is your thought process. If girls refuse to date you after not paying their bill, then GREAT! That saves you time from a sugar baby or gold digger.
Now let's get something straight. If there is a very large difference in income, and the guy is the one making much more to the point paying the bill is pretty much nothing for him, then sure... he should pay the bill. However, if the scenario is vice-versa and the girl makes much more, then shouldn't she pay the bill? It all comes down to communication at that point. This is the age of phones where texting is a main method of communication. Message them and find our what their take is on who pays the bill on a first date so nothing is awkward when you actually go on it. It shouldn't be an awkward conversation. Most people understand the diffuculties of financial situations. Communication is key!
I'm not saying that this should be the way the whole relationship goes. Once you're in a relationship, one person could pay the bill one time or even three times, and then their partner can get the next few times. Or if you're the guy and you want your partner to feel at ease and relaxed by paying the bill, then go for it. They're your partner and they deserve the world. There's no real rule when you're in a relationship. But you should definitely treat your partner better than your first date. First impressions are important and all, but inconsistency is a huge turnoff to anyone.
Here's a video on different cultures takes on it:
I find it interesting that the German guy and the girls from Sweden and Australia believe in paying their own share. It seems to be a more progressive movement to split the bill in Europe.
And here's a video of Matthew Hussey's take on it:
Anyways, everyone is free to go about dating in whatever way makes them feel comfortable and happier. Wishing you all the best during the pandemic! Thanks for taking the time to read myTake!