Why girls should wait for the right guy rather than chase the right guy

[jennifer_bloom]

When I was 19, I was extremely immature and selfish and egotistic, was foolish and irrational and crazy and there was one guy that treated me like I was a Diamond ring simply because he liked my vulnerability and he had a gorgeous girlfriend who wore amazing clothes and exercised for over an hour a day and had millionaire parents and very high grades in school, but she had to chase him for over 3 years to get a date, and she was a petite and stylish blond.

I’m not saying that I was more attractive than her. I think almost every guy would have chosen her over me, but her boyfriend viewed us as similar in attractiveness because she was working hard to attract a guy she was not compatible with. Dozens of other guys equally wealthy and smart could have dated her, but she chased that guy and got dumped after courting him for half a decade.

I also remember losing out on medical students because I was busy trying to date good looking guys who now, 15 years later are smokers and liars and welfare bums while the guys I turned away have medical degrees and PhDs and psychiatric degrees in mental health and I remember not evening noticing an Ivy League lawyer who liked me at 18 cause I was chasing a teacher with good fashion sense and clothes.

Girls need to wait for the right guy and not chase the wrong guy when the wrong guy seems attractive but is not into them, for each guy who rejects you, there are dozens more that will chase you and value you.

[Chattyguy44]

I think the perfect guy could be looking for you or you might know a guy who is perfect & he's right under your nose.
I think girls should wait.

[Im_a_girl_lol]

guys tend to be more attracted to things they can't have (all humans do) so its better not to chase them..

[virtue2332]

I understand where you coming from people tend to let emotion guide them vs adding some logic in the selection process. As in life balance is important. One thing I can't help but notice is there are a lot of titles in your statement. Lawyer Ivy league Doctor etc... I understand a lot of these titles have a perceived value in stature and income potential. Although it takes discipline and focus to obtain these titles and are worthy of admiration it doesn't mean they were also as disciplined when it comes to thier moral character. When I was younger I worked in the medical field and as well as dated someone who eventually became a lawyer who also had money because her dad was a renowned cardiologist. I can say from experience there was a wide range of personalities and those with questionable moralities. I think it's important to wait for the right guy and I stress this to all three of my girls. I also make sure they don't put faith in someone because of the title they have or the car they drive. The time they spend waiting should be used to find out more about what kind of contributions they make to society. Thier actions and reactions in situations will usually show who they really are. I also let them know we are human and are imperfect and will make mistakes and will let them down from time to time but intent and growth are important characteristics. People may have good intent and come up short as well as people may be selfish at times. Do they realize and acknowledge when they are wrong and open to finding a better path forward. Some of these things unfortunately we find out during a relationship and so it's important we let emotion and attraction guide us to people because it is important but we them have to look deeper and find someone who is not perfect but someone who can take everything life throws at them and despite their past mistakes attempts to make the changes to get them and those around them on the right path going forward.

[Jadethedream]

Always believed all good come for those who wait. I wasn’t immature probably mature for my age when was younger never had a real boyfriend.
as wasn’t interested in a relationship until I got a job that was kind of my plan. As I had other things on. It was goal yes mainly a friend boyfriend is a bonus

. But when I was single I focus was fan Fiction of meeting marvel characters to other films and Doctor who lol 😆 not real people. Was kind of hoping for unrealistic expectations of a man at the time not the powers or the looks. Men so different from woman.

[snowboarder720]

You always will want something that you can’t have more than what you can have. It’s the challenge, the mystery, and the chasing game that is so much more appealing than what you always have which can be predictable.
For the long run it’s actually better to stick with what you already have and what’s more stable. Though there will be temptation to be very spontaneous and enjoy something that’s more forbidden.

[Massageman]

Your question posed the choice of waiting for Mr RIght or chasing Mr Right.
The last paragraph suggested waiting for Mr Right instead of chasing Mr WRONG.
So, I'm a little confused.
If a gal likes a guy and he hasn't shown any interest yet, maybe he's just a little gun-shy.
So, ask him something - anything. If you're in school together, ask about homework. In the food store, how do you tell a ripe melon or whatever. In the hardware store, what is a Phillips' head screw. If he can help you out, offer to bring to a coffee shop for a latte. If he can't, still offer the coffee date. And be sure to find a way to touch his arm at the coffee shop- -maybe bump it while reaching for the sugar.
Don't make it a practice of waiting - he may just need a little nudge.

[Slartybartfast]

The number one thing I looked for when dating was if SHE was attracted to me. I see no point in approaching a women who shows no interest.

I wouldn't want a women who wasn't as interested in me as I was in her.

The single most UNATTRACTIVE trait you can show a man is disinterest. It's a %100 turn off.

[motownplayer2000]

Nah. I think it’s more so, girls need to give these dudes a chance to see how they treat them and if there is a connection. However, I can see the other side where guys that get dumped by these females are better off because they won’t have to carry her through life. He can find a woman that’s willing to build with him instead of waiting on him to hand everything to her on a plater. So yeah, I actually think those women do us a favor

[motownplayer2000]

By eliminating themselves out of the picture.

[Drumlin2001]

The problem with passively waiting is that it may never happen and life just passes you by. You need need be proactive, but you need to realise what's truly important. A flash car or flash clothes aren't the bedrock of a mature relationship

[oli14]

As an girl I don't think exactly the same I mean u can't know if someone I the right one for u without giving a chance and if u don't see what is bad for u u can't see the one that's good for u everytime u also learn something that u want or need in a relationship even if it fails to be the one u want

[Seizure]

Different people will have different preferences in life. Even if someone may seem very attractive from the financial perspective, another person's priority in a stable and happy relationship may not be money but ethics and virtues. There is more than one perspective to place your priority on for a relationship, that is why you will chase someone you feel more comfortable with or wait till someone who matches approaches you.

[Anonymous]

The right guys will not chase you after being successful. No guy with self-respect ever date a girl who has rejected them when they had nothing. Most hard-working and self-made guys marry less attractive and good women. Just look at those top CEOs,
wives of billionaires. But some marry attractive trophy wives, but only from age between 20-25.

[anylolone]

Chasing the right guy doesn't mean chasing a committed guy.

Right means right, not above your punching weight.

Also, nobody should chase or wait.

[Anonymous]

Ummmm No.

Women need to stop expecting men to come to them. Society and females has made that very dangerous with their endless false accusations.
If you want a good man, go after him.

[Jadethedream]

Well said

[Anonymous]

The "right guy" may not come to you though, and if you don't "chase" him, you may never get him.

[Staximus]

Sounds like you were chasing the wrong guys, not the right guys

[grega239]

aren't women already waiting for men to come to them?

[Anonymous]

because when girls chase guys they will be looked as cheap girls even by the right guys

[Zygum]

Unless girls chase the guy, who they come to know, the guy is right?

[EffaMan]

Thank you for posting

[Selena1987]

I am waiting and he has not find me yet 😢😢😢

[SkipPerk]

Start chasing!