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Women aren't actually into "bad boys": My take on dating and narcissism (Page 2)
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I agree that there are guys out there that put themselves out there as nice but they are just faking it to get sex. However I have seen girls with real losers and just have to wonder what are they doing with them. I have an uncle who was a cop and he used to sy "the sadists always find the masochists."
And to a degree that is true, people are creatures of habit and pattern. Habits and patterns are very difficult to break, and from a psychological stand point the relationship that a person had with their parental figures sets a president for every other relationship they will have. It’s a complicated question, like why victims don’t leave their abusers. There is no one straight answer
yes, that is very true.
What I've found is if you are quick witted you can "win the girl" as it were. I mean you need to be sharp and blow her mind from every angle of her dome but you dont need a 6 pack to get it done. Body and facial language, out of the box thinking, and charisma, that's what you need. None of the old cliches. She's seen it a thousand times already.
Most men actually believe this at first and have the same thought that being nice is supposed to be good, until they start to date. Women teach them that bad boys are more attractive and have more success getting dates in general. I hate to believe it myself but being more entitled and aggressive has proven to increase my luck in being more desired by even the kindest of women
This isn't everybody though it just means nice guys have to try harder and make more money if they want to get a single date. Not sure if you're the exception or other women lack your morals, but because of personal experience, it's clear the bad boy stereotype exists for a reason
Then be kind, not nice
There's no way I'm risking ruining my dating life by being kind
Being kind is the bare minimum of being a good person but hey you do you
In my city, a girl recently committed suicide. Upon investigation, the police found that the guy was already married while he was living with her and the girl already knew. He also had two-three other side girls too who also knew everything. The girls were spending money for his lavish lifestyle too.
The guy also had several girlfriends in school and one of them committed suicide.
The guy relatively looks good and had rich parents.
Yesterday I saw one guy pulling the hair of her girlfriend on an ally , the guy was well built.
Most girls I know complain about dating bad guys in a friend circle. Now you tell me...
Pretty much. Women want men other women have. Women will rather be a plate for a top 20% male than have a loyal guy in the 80%. Just lol at female hypergamy.
@Lookingforthetruth actually that’s more of a male trait
No it is true in many cases. When many women are young, they go for "bad boys", especially for hookups. As they get older, they realise they won't be good for long term relationships and decide to be with/ settle for nicer guys. They end up getting ran over women.
Do they go for bad boys because they are bad boys or because of confidence?
Could be multiple factors
No one likes bad people because they are bad hon..
Again, bad peoples qualities maybe perceived as good. Just like how people liked Hitler.
And just like how some people think that women are actually into bad boys
... they are. They are into their qualities, stemming from their persona, hence into them.
Read my initial comment. Is there anything wrong I've said in that?
@Subarugirl
I've been watching "Better Bachelor" "Alexander Grace" videos and they talk about the typical 80-20 rule, how 80% of the women are attracted to the top 20% of the men. Now the top 20% aren't all "bad boys." A lot of them are nice guys. Do you agree with this?
Not all of them are Bad Boys but Bad Boys are definitely overrepresented in the top 20%.
I think immature girls or women like bad guys because they like the challenge and they like guys who aren’t focused on them. Essentially it’s a female purposely putting herself through mental torture. Sooo I don’t know why women or girls say they want ABC and XYZ in a dude. If a female says “I want him to change”, no one will change for you sweetheart. How come girls don’t have that “I wanna change a good guy” to make something out of him approach? That’s what I don’t get. I’ve exposed a lot of “nice guys” who are just fucking turds.
So tell me this. What happens to simple and nice for real guys? The guys who aren't arrogant and manipulative, the guys who simply respect people and doesn't come hot on stranger encounters, the guys that are little laid back yet chasing their dreams on their own pace, the guys who aren't cocky but romantic. What happens to them? I'm not seeing many of those guys date decent or above average looking girls. What has happened to them?
Nice guys don't get as much pussy simple
The thing is that what counts as decent to them is already above average in real life. Instead of giving chance to the girl next door, they all want the cheerleader (sorry for the clichés)
@Squaresquirrel I don't quite agree. Yes of course there are nice guys who are just the way you described. But the majority isn't like that. That's the reality. And the way you positioned nice guys below average is exactly the problem here.
You think nice guys deserve the below-average as implied. And I'd like to know why you say so? And if that is the case, this "my take" is completely wrong.
@kinggeorge007 what I said is that even for the nice guys a decent girl means above average, meanwhile plenty of average girl next doors are single. I have never put nice guys below average, I only said that guys want a beautiful girlfriend, or what they mean by decent is still above the average girl.
"And the way you positioned nice guys below average is exactly the problem here. "
I am not native English, so I would be grateful if you point out where I said or implied this. I seriously don't understand it.
@Squaresquirrel I don’t agree that men ignore women who are on par with them. Women are usually the ones trying to “date up”.
Also sometimes women do seemingly date down with certain guys. He might have certain angle on her (a talent, emotional angle, charismatic in some way) that she appreciates
The most physically (not emotionally) beautiful woman I ever met in my life was in a weight room in college. I thought she was out of my league so I didn’t approach her. But one day she asked what my name was when were moving around on a cable machine. Then I decided to go for it.
I actually had my foot in the door (she called me a “nice guy” by the way) but I screwed all it by over contacting her and wearing my emotions on my sleeve.
Anyway guys don’t always know how other women feel about them. An average to semi average looking guy will has the courage to approach women always best out a very attractive guy who waits for her to approach. It’s up to us guys to make it happen.
for me men who have many girlfriends are not BAD BOY... they also don't beat up women or get angry or do physical or sexual violence... men are BAD BOY for me if people who do physical violence or sexual in women...
Honestly, bad boys are fun/cool/can please women romantically or sexually and that's a fact. so if want to find a man look for a man who used to be a bad boy and now has changed.
and honestly we bad boys (alcohol, drugs, have problems at school) not wanting to be cool but out of necessity.
young women confuse arrogance for confidence. if you're trying to date a 18 year old being a jerk really does work better than being nice. you have to be a hugely full of yourself arrogant asshole.
now does that mean women actually appreciate and look for jerks? no. but all other things being equal a mean guy will do better with women up until around 20 i think.
People confusing confidence for arrogance is an entirely different issue… if you’re dating someone young and inexperienced it’s easier to get away with manipulation and abusive behavior. Doing better isn’t equivalent to a body count
it's not a different issue, it's the same issue. inexperienced young girls look at a jerk and go "ooh how confident!"
so all things being equal a jerk will do better than a mature polite man
You are talking about teenagers with little to no life experience being manipulated… no one wants to be in a relationship with an abuser
you're consistently repeating half of what i say and then refusing to come to the conclusion that nice guys indeed do finish last under these circumstances
truth hurts you
Even in your own example, the arrogant mean guy doesn’t finish at all because a girl, regardless of her inexperience, doesn’t like being abused and will eventually catch on (and leave) even if it takes her longer.
Merely starting to date someone is not the finish line. Marriage would actually be the closest approximation in romance, and abusers typically don’t make it that far unless the girl was already very emotionally unhealthy.
@YungBahlr getting her at all is winning. her leaving eventually is irrelevant
@007kingifrit. "getting her at all is winning. her leaving eventually is irrelevant". This is the bottom line and absolutely correct.
@KrakenAttackin yea at that age it's true
@YungBahlr and @007kingifrit are both right. And this is an extremely important point to for everyone to understand. The key is that many people have different "goalposts" for what "winning" means. And ironically, even for what "scoring" means. That is why those will shorter goals often have an advantage over those with longer goals. Because they don't understand that the other person doesn't want the same thing that they want.
Yes, spot on! I agree with every word of what you say here. Why on Earth would anyone, male or female, want someone who was arrogant or abusive? "Bad boys" finish LAST in my book!
Problem is you Girls go after Confidence which is fair enough, But most Confident Guys I have met in my life have been Rude to me for some reason, Probably because im too Shy and I'm not that Popular, I would rather be friends with a Shy Guy than a Confident Guy and you Girls Wonder why you end up with a Jerk.
I didn't end up with a jerk… though people ending up with jerks seems to be a universal issues… not gender specific. have you seen how many men complain about the ass hole girls they chose to date?
But, Most Girls will still ignore the Shy Guy simply for being Shy, Most Guys are not going to ignore a Girl simply because She is Shy, If anything that would make her more Attractive for a lot of Guys.
Yeah I hate over confident guys and I'm fine even if he doesn't have confidence because he's more likely to be humble. I've seen most confident guys underestimate those who are not popular or who are not in top of work/reputation. I started to hate my crush when I saw him downplaying other's talents just because he is in top 3.
Many women are into drama and emotional roller coasters. Good and stable men don't give women the emotional turmoil they crave, so women create it by creating problems where none exist. Bad boys give women the drama they crave effortlessly.
On some level most women realize that they don't deserve a good man, which is another reason the bad boys always have their phones blowing up, even after a woman is married to a "good guy" simp.
Asking a woman what she's into
or
Asking a man who's banged 1000 chicks in 27 different countries what women are into.
Asking a man who's banged 1000 chicks in 27 different countries what women are into.
You mean asking a man who has banged 1000 whores, sluts, prostitutes and nearly homeless women.
Well obviously that's not you of course.
@BlackBeauty90 He says that like it's some kind of achievement...
For a man to get laid that many times, it's a big achievement
@Chthou95 Or that he just doesn't care who he puts his dick into
@Chthou95 To whom? The doctors that bisect him like a frog once he's died of god knows how many STDs & related complications? Do they bet & the one with the closest numbers buys everyone lunch?
@BlackBeauty90 lol yeah the odds are not in his favor there lol
Has a man ever made you wait for sex?
Did you have to do anything to get a guy to fuck you besides just being a woman?
@Chthou95 yes, I have met many men who has refused sexual intercourse until they are married to their partner
@Chthou95 yes I have met many men who valued me, and found be attractive for things other than solely having a vagina.
Okay in general do men make women wait for sex the way women make men wait for sex?
I've seen a homeless man become a millionaire so that means most homeless can become millionaires too
@Chthou95 Lay off the crack, it's fried what braincells you have.
What a nice rebuttal you got there 👏
Women can't even articulate what they want for dinner let alone what they want in a man. 11 times out of 10 what they want in a man is some trendy BS that every other woman wants... not because they truly desire it but, because other women want it. Exhibit A:![Women aren't actually into "bad boys": My take on dating and narcissism]()
Back in my day this kid got more puss than the drug dealers and trust fund chads combined.
![Women aren't actually into "bad boys": My take on dating and narcissism]()
This is called pre-selection. "That man is attractive NOT because I think he's attractive but, because I see that other women are attracted to him." PUA's and wealthy single bachelor's use this to their advantage by having attractive female friends, relatives or escorts accompany them to public events. Next time around he rolls solo and all of the girls are all over him. They're stupid like that. Hell shout out to West Elm Caleb... KNOWN for ghosting girls... yet somehow dude keeps getting dates.
How quickly women will call one another whores and sluts... despite clutching their pearls when men do it. Hope you guys reading this thread are paying attention.
@Chthou95 are you joking? You actually think most homeless people can become millionaires?
Bro read it again. Im making the point that just because a rare few of homeless people become millionaires doesn't mean most will
@Chthou95 But you did said "Most" look:
"I've seen a homeless man become a millionaire so that means most homeless can become millionaires too"
Yes because a lot of people try to dismiss an argument or debate by saying "I've seen so & so with this person" or "I see plenty of blah blah blah" that's why i said that
@Chthou95 so you and I agree that most homeless can't become millionaires. Ok.
Yes. Most can't
Is the nice guy just keeping things bottled up until one day he explodes into a raging psycho that sets his girlfriend on fire and throws her in a dumpster?
Being too nice isn't reality. In reality, life sucks
It's not nice guy vs not nice guy
It's a Real Person vs A Fraudulent (insincere) Person.
You don't want the Fraudulent guy.
What a cope. "their niceness comes with strings attached" compared to literally dark triad people.
I'm going to introduce you to a simple concept called "internal consistency".
Also, congratulations with rephrasing the old dar triad phrase "if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
There are definitely fake "nice guys" out there, but there is something to be said for our tendency to go for confident and hot guys over nice ones. The truly nice guys are usually much shyer and aren't super flirty!
I know i don't have crushes on bad guys. I have crushes on good guys honestly kinda weird but not too and the bad guys i friend zone or brother zone bc they are fun to hang out with but not for romance for me
it is that women really do want a nice guy but they want a guy who can still stand up for himself, have balls and be a man but you can be that way and still be kind to her and others just do not be a pushover. and no woman wants a cocky jerk either.
What an Informative Article. Thank you for sharing.