He says he's emotionally attracted to me but not physically what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I've been talking to this guy for awhile and immediately we had an emotional connection to eachother that neither of us have ever had with another person. We are very compatible. But there's one problem he's not physically attracted to me. He thinks I'm pretty and he loves my eyes, hair and smile but otherwise I'm not his type. I don't know what to do. I know with my ex I didn't fall for him physically till after we had been dating for awhile.. Is this possible for me and the guy I'm seeing now? What should I do?

It's possible

Not gonna go anywhere

Other (explain)

Updates

+1 y

Oh and he loves kissing me

[northernligths]

There isn't much you can do. Maybe he likes fat women and your skinny or vice versa. Maybe he likes tall women and you are short etc. You would only get miserable if you tried to change your body for someone else and then you would be resentful.

What you said about being attracted afterwards with a past boyfriend is quite common among women. They get the attraction after. Im not convinced the same holds true with men... they seem to know immediately if they are physically attracted or not and it doesn't seem to change afterwards. Of course there are probably exceptions. But I wouldn't keep my hopes up. Just stay friends with him. If its to hard now, then limit the amount of time you spend with him until you find another guy. If he is a true friend he will understand that continued exposure to him will only hurt you because you can't have him the way you want him.

If you are making out with him or having sex with him I would stop because you will only get hurt. Here is how it works he doesn't want you they way you want to be wanted, you don't give him the pleasure of benefiting from anything sexual. Now, you are both even... he gets no intimacy from you and you don't get a bf/gf relationship from... Just be friends... that's it!

[Asker]

I don't know I talked to him last night and I don't big enough breasts or butt and he is attracted to Mexican women but he says he is in love with me we don't have sex cause I'm a viegibg so I'm just letting things go and im fine with being friends. He is having a harder time I think cause he wants so badly to be physically attracted to me. I just told him to relax and see what will happen who knows. What I do know though is we have an amazing emotional intimacy that I think either of is would hate to lose.

[Asker]

Sorry virgin

[findingdreamland]

Well emotional connection is great to have in relationship. But without physical connection it is nothing. In this case you are just friends, you are not boyfriend, girlfriend. Physical attraction can not be maintained. It is either there or not. I say, getting hurt more, both of you should move on. I don't think it goes somewhere.

[LittleSally]

Oh... it's possible...
He doesn't think your hot, but thinks your mind is.
He can't get over the fact that you're not perfect from the outside (as most guys can't) so he'll keep you hooked, but won't actually let that relationship see the light of day... I wouldn't be okay with this. Move on.

[OldDinosaur]

Uh... he' gay because men do not pursue what they do not want to sleep with. The kissing is the give away. Men will not kiss a woman that often they are not attracted to. So, he is either gay or is sexually immature. Are you a thicker woman and him a thin guy? Maybe he just has no confidence in himself below the belt. Who knows, either way don't fall for it. Keep on moving. You will someone who likes you and the look of you.

[Asker]

No I have an average body like I'm not super skinny and I'm not fat he thinks I'm pretty just not his type and we've done other stuff besides kissing and he loves that he's just not super physically into me

[dominiquois]

Great answer.

[Neurath]

Keep going. The emotional bond is the most important. He will have the light-bulb effect. One day you'll just be talking and he'll look at you and the light will be on you in such a way that he'll be attracted at all levels.

I love the human body and the tricks it uses to keep humanity breeding.

[angelmarkley]

Yeah, emotional attraction is important, but he's a guy. When he sees something he is physically attracted to he's gonna forget about the emotional attraction and run after the physical attraction.
I say forget him. All the old couples always say "she's as beautiful as she was the day I met her " .. there has to be physic attraction as well for that relationship to work.

[Neurath]

If a man is succumbing to lust then there was never love in the first place. Love trumps lust every time. Unfortunately in this day and age most people don't like going for periods without sex or feeling lonely so they tag along in a 'relationship' until something better comes along.

[dominiquois]

So true. It's sad.

[dominiquois]

If he think you're pretty he is attracted to you physically technically speaking, maybe he finds you "fat"? But since you're not his type he doesn't romanticize you physically because physical, personal preferences are almost spiritual experiences in nature. Still you're not unattractive to him, so the emotional angle is the best angle you've got and you could very well become his type.

[Roxriver]

This is not going to go anywhere - if a guy doesn't find you physically attractive he doesn't like you romantically. He's just trying not to hurt your feelings.

[Asker]

hmm if this is the case what should i say to him... he tells me that he loves me

[Asker]

and I've told him repeatedly that if he just wants to not pursue anything than to just tell me ill be fine with it... yeah it will hurt at first but i don't want to hold him back.

[Marinepilot]

Find someone who will fulfill your physical needs we all have them. My question, why are you still with him? I'd be sooo gone !