When we women say we are attracted to "confidence" in men, we mean how confident he is around other men, not girls. True or False?

[Anonymous]

Why do so many guys make this mistake? They think women are attracted to "confidence" a guy displays over a girl. Not really. We like the confidence he projects in his life, ie his job, his social circle, the way he interacts with people.

Does he take initiatives, finds solutions to social problems, takes charge, is proactive and not reactive? Nothing is more attractive to women than a man with sharp wit, ambition, is socially dominant, and has integrity.

So all you average-looking guys out there, work on your charisma, social dominance, integrity and you'll get a quality girl. Don't be emotionally needy, lost, fearful or rude.

[ChrisMaster69]

@ Pink Anon Asker, a very good question and I fully agree with you.

I've seen it countless times a guy trying to ‘Show his Alpha Confidence’ directly at a girl, basically projecting his ‘I’m an Alpha and confident, bow down before me’. At the same time, there is another guy telling a joke, discussing something intelligent with a group of girls and guys. He’s showing he can control the conversation but also listen to others, this means he is both listened to and receives replies back. The girl takes more interest in this engaging person than the ‘confident Alpha’.

My view on confidence is that you use your own confidence to build confidence in others, you look at the table and help others that need some of your confidence. If mr Average is doing this, his confidence becomes a blanket of protection and inclusion, others seeing this seek to belong as well. Hence why confident but often quiet average guys end up with really lovely girls - ‘he’s shooting above his level’.

I work with a number of Software teams including my Software Engineering team, over last few years i have had girls on my team singing the praises of a couple of quiet ‘geeky’ guys, about how they problem solve, manage tasks when they are the lead for the task. When we go out socially, it’s these guys that get the attention of the girls and also other girls, as ‘if girls are comfortable and laughing with 2 geeks, then they must be fun’. Neither guy is without female company but also don’t over play that confidence.

I love confident girls, everything you have said pretty much holds true for me looking at confident girls.

As a guy if you understand how confidence works with girls, you can use it as an attraction. Example, i socialise with a mixed group of girls and couple guys, we all bounce of each other and support each other’s confidence, support weak areas etc. We often have girls (and the odd guy) wanting to know us more, they love how we are happy, open and above all confident with each other, including confident with each other’s sexuality, we don’t judge and are accepting.

This means the bi girls have other girls coming within reach of our group, under its umbrella’, we also have girls liking the ‘safety’ our group provides, I believe this is the confidence we have boosting each other’s and projects outwards as a ‘force field’ welcoming to nice people, repulses those who are not.

Confidence is something we have in each of us to varying levels, it is often in specific areas, job, hobbies, interests, social, etc.

Confidence is also both passive and Active.

Confidence can be shared and should be shared to bring out the best in others.

Confidence encompasses a number of things in our own lives and importantly others.

Confidence is a bit like leadership, where a good leader knows implicitly the style to use for any given situation.

Confidence is not necessarily having the answer but knowing how to get the answers from others. Also importantly that you accept you don’t have all the answers but are confident to seek advice, support from others, which is something an ‘Alpha’ utterly fails at.

okay there is more, as confidence does link very heavily with leadership and I teach / train others in that.

great question, rambling reply as it’s not quite lunch time and my ‘house guest’ 😂 is offering to cook lunch.

[PrettyPriya]

@chrismaster69 this is well thought and true. Someone who can hold a conversation and make me smile is always going to beat that macho vibe. There is such a thing as overconfidence, which is a big turnoff for me.

[EmmaMary]

@chrismaster69 Thank you so much, I just knew you would tell it, just as it is.

[Asker]

You’ve nailed it.

[ChrisMaster69]

@ Pink Anon Asker, thank you very much,

It was a really good question and actually reflects real life as how I see it.

[JennBITx]

@chrismaster69 this is very well said. You have perfectly broken down the distance between the two types and how people translate them the wrong way. This is also another reason I enjoy it conversations together.

[ChrisMaster69]

@JennBITx @EmmaMary @PrettyPriya

Thank you, tbh what I put just describes not only myself but also a lot of other guys I know.

@ Pink Anon as I said great question, I like how your brain works.

Happy to chat further, feel free to message.

[ChrisMaster69]

@ Pretty Pink Anon, thank you most appreciated

[Anonymous]

True, no emotions whatsoever is a powerful card to have because it is just so useful at least on my past dating experiences show... I'd still probably be dating if it wasn't for howuvh did my work needs, my ailing health and my not being in shape (not helped by the ailing health)

[MzAsh]

It’s attractive that a guy is confident enough in himself enough so that he doesn’t lose his cool every time his girlfriend get attention from other men. That’s a big one for me.

[EmmaMary]

I for one, await with much interest in seeing/reading the responses, to perhaps the question of the day.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHGirl.

[Celtero]

Yeah, it sure is great being a man when your "better half" feels disgusted by you in your moments of weakness and insecurity.

Lol, if there is a god he made woman to punish man.

[Asker]

If a man is more insecure than he is secure, it is indeed repulsive.

Now after having spent significant amount of time with a girl and you love each other, and she still feels repulsed when you display weakness, then yes she is shallow.

If you are weak from the get go, you will not be getting any girls. Same way a woman who does not care for her appearance, lets herself go, etc will loose attraction points in the eyes of men.

[Celtero]

Mhhm. No wonder it's so hard for me to convince myself that women are worth a single damn.

[karaspara]

I prefer to see his confidence around people in general how he conducts his business etc I could give a fuck less how many girls he can chat shit to in a bar

[FilmGuy93]

I feel like it's tough to blame women for making the assumption that a man who is confident around her will be confident in other aspects of his life. What other experiences is she supposed to go by?

[disgustingweebtrash]

I'm not the dad you never had, I have my own issues to deal with, you just have more justification to whine about them.

[Asker]

Na my dad is all these things, I have great male role models in front of me. I am all
these things as well, to a certain extent.

You’re a 20yo. It’s why most girls your age date older, they want a man not a boy.

You’ll under some day.

[disgustingweebtrash]

Cool

[Slim57]

Thats false because you require that confidence that you're talking about yes, but if he doesn't have confidence around women either you wouldn't be attracted to that as well

[Asker]

Of course, but once you have confidence in your life, you naturally have it around women. Not the other way round.

Many men act confident around women but are subservient and passive in life.

[Anonymous]

"Don't be emotionally needy"

You women are so hypocritical. Lol

[Asker]

Being emotionally needy is a feminine trait. Is a woman who acts masculine and dominant attractive to you?

Men who constantly need validation for their insecurities or are emotionally needy in their interactions with others are a major turn off.

[Opinion Owner]

If being emotionally needy is a feminine trait, why have women been trying so hard for the last few decades to convince us that it's not?

I guess hypocrisy and dishonesty must be feminine traits too.

[Asker]

I’m not living in the west. Emotional neediness is still a feminine trait where I am at.

[Opinion Owner]

It doesn't matter where you live. Men and women are the same everywhere. We are all human with the same emotions and needs. You cannot use where you live as an excuse for living in the past and ignoring the things we all know now.

[anylolone]

So you mean "display being a source of proxy violence".

[dsd_69]

yeah damn true