Boyfriend is giving me the cold shoulder. I think I'm losing him?

I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. We have been dating for just about a year. (We knew eachother for a couple of years before we started dating. But we now live in different states) We see eachother every 2-3 months. Either I go visit him or he comes visits me or we meet up in our home town. We were together just this last month- spent the whole summer and did some traveling together. and now I'm going to see him in November. We have planned on moving in together once he finishes up with college. (He's in his last year) so we don't plan on being LDR'S for that much longer.

Anyways... lately he's been giving me the "Cold Shoulder" We used to talk in so much more depth then we are now. Even if we didn't text much through out the day- the texts were always sweet, and cute. Now they are one worded. bland texts. He used to go crazy and text me "BABY!! I LOVE YOU!!!" all the time, or "hey sweetie, i'm thinking of you at work". but now... it's "hey", or "morning" or "nighty night". I don't understand. I tell him every day that i love and miss him and all he can say is "yeah?" I ask him if he still loves me and he says" oh here we go, again" "You know the answer to that" Sometimes I feel like screaming REALLY DO I? BECAUSE IF I DID WHY THE F WOULD I BE ASKING IT!!! ugh, We used to talk every night on the phone before bed.. now i get no calls and if i do it's just him saying "hey, goodnight.. gotta go now bye." There is no more I love you's from him. But yet he still tells me he is excited for me to go see him in November.

I'm soo confused as to why he isn't treating me like his girlfriend that he loved so greatly. It's like he's bored or annoyed with me. In a matter of weeks he turned into a totally different person! Its really hurtful and every time I bring it up or try talking about it to him he gets angry and says stuff like "We always have this conversation, every night"

I just can't get through to him. I think I'm really losing him.

What started his "attitude" -he talked about "really considering, breaking up" then, He ignored me for a week. When I told him I was just about done, i needed to either move on or be loved- he said sorry i just miss you. But still he's acting distant


Most Helpful Guy

  • From my experience long distance relationships do not work, unless, two things happen. Money and sex, these two rules are or should I say is the key to a long distance relationship. Now since this mostly applies to a man, I won't go into the details. Now for a women you need to use this to understand him, maybe easy him into communicating with you on what is going on. Let me explain, a man trying to distance himself may mean that he's wrap round an issue and doesn't know how to express himself. It could be from the jitters of leaving college and facing the real world or may have second thoughts about the relationship both of which are about money and sex. With a smile (or smiley via text) ask him about his 5yr plan to get him thinking. At this point be patient give some space and quickly tell him to stand-by or brb, take 5min's come back and let him know your back. What does he see us (You&Him) doing in five years? This by no means is a simple question, this is where you may get your answer whether good or bad. Great men always think in blocks (this is why you can call us Block Heads and not be offended) like what am I going to be doing in 5yrs, 10yrs or 15yrs from now? In five years, i. e., I want a wife, house, dog and a bouncing baby. So in 5 yrs. he will try his best to accomplish that those goals, the question is are you in that plan?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Sorry, but it sounds like he is in another place right now. Figuratively and literally. Maybe he met someone else? Maybe his studies are occupying his time? Either way, sounds like you need to give him, and yourself some space.
    I have been in an LDR, and unforunatley, it did not work. We still remain good friends, though, so the lining isn't all dark.


What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe he's just busy and distracted with school

    • could be... but he wanted to break up with me (i just added that in now) he ignored me for a week without an answer of if he was or not.. and then i called him saying look you need to give me an answer. i love you but if you dont want to be with me you need to tell me because im not doing this. and he said sorry, its just that he misses me and we need to just be together. but even after that he's still acting like he hates me

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