Why do guys get so butt hurt when you reject them?

Why do they start purposely ignoring you and being really mean and rude to you when they were practically willing to do anything for you a day ago?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Let me tell you a little story. This has actually happened to me 3 times during my college run:

    -I meet girl in class. We talk, we hit it off, chemistry is great.

    -We spend time after class hanging out (alone) and studying together.

    -I develop feelings her and like being around her and THINKS she likes being around me.

    -I tell her how I feel, but she brushes my feelings aside like it was nothing.

    -I try not to take it to heart... and even though I cry my guts out, I still continue to hangout with girl as friend.

    -When the semester ends for the summer, I text her, she ignores me and then next semester she acts like I am barely a person and never acknowledges me.

    This has happened to me a lot. A lot of women aren't really that nice or sincere in their feelings and lead men on. Then they get mad at the guy for crushing too hard.

    Men are different from women. Women can get any guy they want. Just walk into a club dressed really nice and you will have male admirers everywhere.

    For a guy, he has to go through so much to get a single girl to like him (if you're not rich, famous, musician or athletic).

    That is why he is butt hurt.

    • You cried :( ? I feel so bad i am pretty sure i have done this to a number of guys...

    • Show All
    • And... as a result of these experiences, I had to toughen my resolve as a man. I will instantly reject a woman now for the following:

      -Takes too long to decide if she want to go out on an outing for not. This just shows she isn't interested and I will cut her off.

      -Takes too long to reply to texts or replies after multiples texts are send. If I have to do this, I will cut her out of my life.

      -Women who walk around in circles and are indecisive... equals no interest in my opinion, and I will cut women out of my life if they do this.

    • Well on behalf of all the women who have done this to you and other guys (aka myself) I apologize. We think that you will get it if we start ignoring you and not talking to you. Eventually you do get it and it becomes awkward so we have to shift gears to the "no longer acknowledging him" stage because we figure that's how you will get over us. On the rare chance she could also be very shy but yeah im sorry.

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What Guys Said 7

  • It's like a natural defense mechanism really. You really like someone, you get the nerves/courage to ask them out and then they say "no, I don't like you". You say you guys were so close before. So why are you willing to be that close to him but not date him? That's what he's wondering.

    What you tell them during the rejection might have a huge impact too. If you life, if you say something mean, and even if it's an innocent comment and legit, you feel a bit awful about yourself whether it's looks, personality, or something else. You just feel stupid for having liked them.

    So, once you're rejected, you don't want to spend the rest of your life still having these strong feelings for the other person, so the brain starts finding ways of detaching those emotions. So by being mean, giving you no attention, that's the body's way of moving on. The less you see something, the less you want it. Just like a break up, you need time apart to heal. Same concept here. So you almost have to be mad at them to stop having feelings for them.

  • Because some of them might have been waiting for weeks or months or years to ask you and then you just put an end to their hope. Do you realize how significant it is to have every hope you've thought about for a while suddenly put to an end?

    • I guess it is hard for you guys... us girls don't really have to face much rejection. So he just hates me now because I rejected him? i mean we used to be so close and now he glares at me and won't say hi to me.

    • Probably doesn't hate you, he's just trying to forget about you because he knows that you won't be his girl ever. He's just frustrated... he might get over it, but if he was just making friends with you and getting to know you so he could eventually ask you out, then he might not want to be friends anymore.

      It's not like he could just say "okay, you rejected me so now I won't feel ANY attraction to you whatsoever and we can be normal platonic friends". That's not how it works.

      Whatever decision he ends up making, just respect it.

  • Let's rephrase this for you. Why is it that you expect a guy to continue to put in effort and give you attention after you reject them?

    • I don't but i mean why can't he be nice? why does he have to try to hurt me?

    • Clarify what you mean when you say they are hurting you and being rude.

  • Those guys are misinformed. They mistakenly think that the way to a girl's heart is to act like her servant.

  • Why would you get so butt hurt when you get rejected?

  • I don't think that I am really, I'm more hurt when they don't want to even stay friends afterwards. I mean rejecting me means she's not physically attracted to me (which I can accept) but not wanting anything to do with me shows she has problem with me as a person which I find more hurtful myself. It's like I'm rude afterwards, but I think it's reasonable to feel at least somewhat hurt by it, after all rejection is her saying that I'm not good enough for her.

  • As if every guy does this.

    • I didn't say why does EVERY guy do this did I?

    • Didn't say why do "some", did you?

      This still seems very rhetorical to me.

What Girls Said 1

  • just think about it,
    how would u feel if u were totally down for someone and when it came down to it they don't want u.
    itd probably hurt a bit right?
    its because they feel hurt, stupid and like u don't want them so ofcourse theyre gonna pull away or stop talking to u