Did I lead her on?

I've been casually seeing this girl for about 3 months and last weekend I found out that I wasn't going to get a job I really wanted because of some stuff I did when I was younger. I really didn't have anyone to talk to about it so I called her. She told me that I could come over and talk about it. Later that night I got really drunk and I didn't really want to drive over her house so I asked her if she would come over to my house. I just really needed to be with someone that night.

When she was on her way I started drunk texting her. I stated calling her names ("boo" and such) and I texted her, "thank you so much for being a friend at the very least".

When she got here she did comfort me. We ended up having sex and I asked her during it if she liked me. She said she did.

I do like her but I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship right now. I broke up with a girl that I really loved 7 months before and I really haven't gotten over that yet.

Now I feel like I lead her on to believe I want more than the causal thing that we have now.

Do you think I lead her on to believe there's more between us?

I foolishly forgot to mention that when she said she liked me I told her that I liked her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes. You should have made it clear that you didn't want a relationship before pursuing an intimate one with her and also asked if she would be comfortable with casual sex. But you just used her for sex and comfort.

    • When we first stated, she asked me if we were just a causal thing. I kinda skirted the question with "I don't know" but that was very early in us knowing each other. We didn't talk about it anymore after that. I feel like maybe she figured that since things were so new at time we couldn't put a label on it.

      I don't know...

    • "I don't know" is not an answer. You should have asked her, or any woman, how they interpret sex BEFORE becoming intimate with them, it's called being respectful.

    • You're right, it was my bad for not laying it out right then and there.

      I think that in the back of my mind I really wanted to be with her in the beginning but the ex-girlfriend stuff kind of made me back out in the middle of the "courtship" but I kept having sex with her and talking to her.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think you were drunk, lonely and needed a companion... she most likely knew what your intent was and if she likes you was willing to do whatever it took to spend time with you. I think you need to tell her what you want, you have a very good reason to not settle down. If she really likes you she'll appreciate the honesty and respect you.

  • I don't think you lead her on. She knew that you were drunk (I'm assuming) so she couldn't have thought what happened was your honest feelings. Depending on how current that was, I'd tell her everything you just wrote and that maybe in a little bit you two can try again even if it's not true.


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