My boyfriend weighs much less than me.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a month, but have been "flirting" for 6 months. We are sexually active, we spend a lot of time together, we have so much fun together.

He is 17 I'm 16. I weigh A LOT more then him. He's 6'3 I am 5'6. His weight does not bother me. But I fear that my weight bothers him. He has never said anything about it, but I'm just worried that maybe he's good at hiding the fact it bothers him. I don't know how to go about asking him if my weight bothers him.

I don't want him to think I'm incredibly insecure, but I do want to know how he feels about it. I hope I learn to get over this insecurity. i dont really tell him my insecurities about my body but when i mention my thighs he tells me he loves my "thick thighs".

He tells me I'm beautiful everyday, but I just can't get over the weight difference. Does it bother guys if their girlfriend is significantly heavier? How do I go about asking if the fact I'm much heavier bothers him, without sounding insecure? How do I stop being insecure about this?

[NerdHerd]

Hey hun, I know you already got answers for this but I figured I'd comment anyways. My boyfriend is about 6 inches taller than me and around 20-30 pound lighter.. I was always insecure about it and I used to drop hints here and there. Finally one day I told him, he had no idea it was even an "issue". He assured me that he loved my body, and it took a really long time for me to get used to it, and I mean really long. We've been dating for over 2 years now.. what I had to learn was, he wouldn't be dating me if he wasn't attracted to me. The same goes for you love, guys do care about looks there's no denying that, but if he's with you, it because he likes yours.

As a side not you also have to remember that women generally carry more fat on their bodies and are structured to carry weight differently then men do to childbearing. If your boyfriends not very muscular then you also have to remember that he could be feeling insecure too.

[Anonymous]

Well from his comments about loving your thick thighs and saying you're beautiful, I think it's reasonable to assume he thinks you're sexy as is. If you want to work out, eat healthy and stuff that's always good to do though. Just no need to feel insecure, because he's clearly into you.

[maria96]

If he's dating you, it's not bothering him. If he says he loves your "thick thighs", he loves your "thick thighs". If he says that you're beautiful, he thinks you're beautiful. Believe on what he says!

[JohnScofield787]

Well... if you are unhappy with yourself FOR YOU, then do something about it. If you are unhappy with yourself, because of what he is thinking, that is maybe not the best attitude to have.

Yes of course we want to do things for our SO and want them to like and be proud of us. That might mean we try to change some things to be better or whatever. However those are usually small things. In this case you are built a certain way. Either you are comfortable with it or you are not. If you are not then do something about it. If you are, then be happy he accepts you as you are.

Hope that makes sense.

[Asker]

I'm very comfortable with myself, by myself. When I look in the mirror Im not disgusted, nor do I hate myself. But when I'm with him, I can't help but notice I'm much bigger. But, if he didn't accept me and thought I was repulsing, he wouldn't be with me, right? I just want him to be attracted to me, and I want him to not think about the fact I'm bigger. Maybe he doesn't think about it, but I don't know if he thinks about it or not.

[JohnScofield787]

Well if you are comfortable with who you are (Which is AWESOME!) then perhaps sit down and tell him that you want him to be attracted to you for you... and you just want to know what he thinks...

Now that is going to be a tough place for him. So you need to reassure him that regardless of the answer you will be ok. But now a question... what are you going to do if he says... "WELL... I would really prefer this or that?" What does that mean to you? Would you change? Would you leave him? Would your feelings be hurt? I mean if you open a door, you have to be prepared that what you find on the other side might not be what you want to see. So are you going to be brave enough to deal with the consequence if he gives an answer you do not like.

Finally i will say that i suspect you won't get an answer you don't want. I think he likes you as you are... but be prepared just in case.

[Asker]

If he were to give me an answer stating he would prefer this or that, I would probably be a little upset. I wouldn't leave him. If he were to phrase it in a rude, hurtful, degrading way, I would. But, he is aloud to prefer something and have an opinion. It doesn't mean I'll eat healthier or exercise more, but he is entitled to his opinion. Thank you for even bringing that up. To be quite honest, I haven't thought of all the possible answers he could give me.

[JohnScofield787]

best wishes with it. Generally, one does what one wants to do. And so if he is with you, he wants to be. So try not to worry too much. :-)

[Asker]

Thank you so much, this really helped :)

[Klaatu51]

why shouldit bother him?

there are guys who actually like being thinner than their girls ;-)

[Asker]

Really? Why is that?

[Klaatu51]

ah... nothing it's just my taste... and maybe his ;-)

[Asker]

I hope it's his taste Too.

[Mesonfielde]

No, quite obviously it's only you who's bothered by it.

[Asker]

It isn't obvious to me. I want to know how he feels about it...

[ImNotThaMan]

Personally, I some if not most men love thick thighs, especially if theyre bigger than theyre own

[Asker]

Why is that?
and my thighs aren't the only thick part about me. EVERYTHING is THICK (Emphasis on thick). I don't think guys are too fond of every part of a girl being big Or thick...

[ImNotThaMan]

Well, I don't really know. Why are women attracted to big penises, or more appropriately, big muscles. I mean really, can you actually explain that? And Im going to be honest, men dont like THICK, as you say it, women. You should ask your bf if its ok and say that you realize (make sure to use realize) that you weight more than him. Tell him you want the complete truth. message me back what you do, I am honestly curious and concerned!

[jmmmfi]

Its awesome, seriously. do it before you go in her anyways helps get her wetter.

[jmmmfi]

Oh crap way wrong question here oops!

[Asker]

Haha its fine