Girls always say how much of a great guy I am but never want to date me?

[Anonymous]

Girls are always saying how nice I am and that I'm the kind they all want. I'm fairly confident, 6ft 3, well spoken, dress nicely, polite, friendly. I'd never cheat on a girl, I know what the feeling is like to be cheated on so thats why I can never do this. Girls always show interest then when I ask them to hang out and tell them what we're doing they always reject my in a "nice" way (we're just friends/we will see/maybe....) I'm not a push over like most people think, I can be a nasty little bastard if I wanted to be but I'm not changing for anyone. The girls I ask always end up dating someone else then talking to me like I could be a potential, maybe in the future or something like that. Basically a plan B, then 2 years later down the line tell me that they really liked me. If that was the case why didn't they date me back then? It's too late for them to come back the boat has departed. When ever I go out with my friends one is gay and he has so many girls trying to get with him and he rejects them all (why they try him I don't know) and my other friend is similar to me but more confident than I am, shorter and fatter than me and can't seem to get a girl either. I've had 2 female friends try to set me up and everytime has failed. I go for girls around 2 years younger than me. I tried clubs, pubs, malls,online dating, pool halls, no results. I try many different approaches, player approach, friendly approach, friendly but making my intentions clear, I have tried many types of girls, shy, goth, hipster, even the slutty gurls and still they're not interested. The guys at my work can't seem to work out why no girls want to date me. I don't know what else I can do any tips?

Updates

+1 y

My girls have told me that playing an instrument helps, I play bass and guitar and still that can't seem to attract them. I had 1 8 month relationship 5 years ago and she still likes me but I can't date her ever again, not after what happened and getting back with an ex is always a recipe for disaster. I am so inexperienced in relationships I feel now it's just getting more difficult as I am getting older

[Anonymous]

It seems to me that you are either boring, awkward or 'not hot'. Basically, you're a decent guy but you completely lack sex appeal. Maybe girls hit on you and it goes over your head. Maybe the conversations aren't as interesting as you think they are. Maybe you never let on that you're interested until you ask them out so it throws them off. Maybe you have unrealistic standards for the women you ask them out so you're asking 'above your league'. Or maybe those girls are being nice and you just aren't that good looking. I'd guess it's probably not that one because ugly guys can usually get women if they're very socially competent.

[Asker]

I mainly focus my conversation towards their likes and interests, if we have something in common I mention that I like it too

[Anonymous]

Are you physically ugly? You sound like a great guy, but some girls just won't date a guy unless he is physically attractive. A girl can like you, but if she's not physically attracted to you, she can't force herself. When the girls act interested and then later on say that they "really liked you", they honestly really just liked the attention. They said stuff like "maybe in the future " because they didn't want you to move on, and they liked the attention you gave them. An ego boost, so to speak. My advice is, just keeping doing you. You sound great and a girl is bound to like you eventually.

[RationalLioness]

How attractive are you? Throughout all of this I haven't seen a single thing talking about how attractive you are.

If a girl says that, she means that you're a good guy, but not attractive enough/her type or vice versa.

Sure, they want a guy with your personality. Who wouldn't? But the looks is probably the clincher.

[Asker]

How am I supposed to tell if I am "attractive"? That's up to the person I am talking to right? Also many girls tell me I am good looking, but still no luck

[RationalLioness]

Most girls tell you so or not? And you can tell if you're attractive enough by yourself---it's not defined by others.

I think it's looks though. If you were a catch, no one would let you go. I know I've lied to guys to make their self-confidence boost and tell them that they're attractive. Maybe it's not this scenario.

[Asker]

My sister told me always be nice to girls, they never forget so I did that and it just gets me nowhere
My dad told me take lead with girls I do and that still gets me nowhere

A lot of girls say to me I look so much like my dad and that my dad is so good looking for his age and if he were to ask them out they would date him regardless of the fact he is 52

[RationalLioness]

Then it's that confidence factor. You're not forward enough. But you shouldn't be discouraged.

[CoverGuy]

I think you're contradicting yourself here, opinion owner. It's actually other people who determine your attractiveness. I could lie to myself and think 'I'm attractive', but reality would show that nobody wants a relationship with me. Hence, I'm actually not attractive.

[Asker]

When girls reject me deep down inside I am kinda pissed but I show them that i'm not fazed by it, I take the rejection as a done deal and go else where, I know there is one girl that likes me but she lives in America and I live here in England, and she has a boyfriend anyway but she shows she's kinda still interested. Like she got kinda upset and then really going to get my attention when I ask about this girl I liked and how to get her

[RationalLioness]

@CoverGuy: It's a matter of opinion. I don't give a fuck how many people think I'm repulsive and how many think I'm beautiful: I consider myself cute. That is what feeds my self-esteem, my confidence, and my outlook on life.

People who allow other people to judge for them are the ones who tend to be insecure.

There's no contradiction. It's simple. And there are other reasons why people wouldn't be in a relationship for you. You being ugly isn't the only reason and it might not have ANYTHING to do with that. The way you spoke tells me that you have a severe lack of confidence (if you believe that) which is completely NOT sexy to me (and many other women). Please stop that.

Asker: Don't give up hope. Just continue to be yourself and ask girls out. Or let them come up to you but you have a higher chance in getting a yes if you go over to a girl yourself.

[Asker]

This girl I know from America who I can tell for certain likes me but it just wouldn't be practical to date her as we'd see each other twice a year tells me that I'm pretty much like a soulmate to her but she has a boyfriend who loves her and she loves him and I'm happy for her that she's with him but why can I attract her and no people in my area?

[RationalLioness]

Asker: PLEASE do not fall for this girl. Do you really want a woman that will cheat on her boyfriend with another man? What will she do to you?

And you can find a girl. Just try harder.

[Asker]

I know that but she liked me way before she got with him, she told me she did and she didn't put her life on hold which I agree she should have done. I said something to her recently that was so blatantly a friendzone statement and she got upset about me doing that, I only referred to her as a friend because she was with someone and I don't want to be the reason they break up, as soon as she breaks up with him I will remove her from the friendzone and put her into the potential dating zone

[CoverGuy]

@RationalLioness I wasn't trying to be sexy, and my comment was meant to be hypothetical. I honestly don't know if I'm attractive or not. I see some parts of myself that I like and other parts that I don't like. I like my shoulders, my chest, my arms, my calves and feet. I don't like my face, my premature balding, the unexplainable rashes on my thighs and butt, my veiny hands, my thin forearms and my voice.

Nobody my age tells me whether or not I'm attractive or not. I do need the validation because sometimes I feel like people are going by the 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it' phrase. I feel like nobody wants to rate my looks because they are afraid of hurting my feelings, but I want honest criticism more than anything... without coming off as a clingy, nerdy mooch.

Do I have confidence? It's a very broad term. I am content with some parts of myself, like my personality, my intelligence, my creativity, my humor, my understanding of music, and more. [Char. Limit]

[Asker]

@coverguy I'm exactly like you some parts I hate others I don't, same with the confidence bit

[ArabianPwincess197]

Maybe you appear intimidating?

[Asker]

It's 60% of the time they approach me, which surely would be a good thing right?

[ArabianPwincess197]

Yes, maybe you give off a negative vibe or appear disinterested

[Asker]

I show interest they run a mile
I make myself a challenge for them they then back off and become off the radar

[ArabianPwincess197]

They seem unsure

[Asker]

I wouldn't even be able to tell if a girl liked me by their body language, all girls I have approached have the same body language

[ArabianPwincess197]

Oh ok

[apexalpha]

they might be seeing you as boring

[Asker]

Everyone that I hang out with seems to think I'm awesome :S

[apexalpha]

re-evaluate this and try be more funny

[Asker]

I tried everything, even being more mysterious, still doesn't work

[apexalpha]

try harder

[Asker]

Girls are always telling me how funny I am and how "I'm crazy" and they like that

[apexalpha]

try showing more confidence

[CoverGuy]

Maybe you have introverted confidence, asker. I think girls are primarily attracted to extroverted confidence.

[Asker]

I don't know how I can show any more confidence without looking like a cocky twat

[apexalpha]

" cocky twat " thats wht they want

[Asker]

Tried that approach and got told to fuck off and leave her alone