When people get married, unless you discussed it ahead of time, most people expect that to mean monogamy. Yes, people do live alternative lifestyles but both people get a say in that. Being married to a man in the military is hard. My family has a long history in the military and I see how hard it is to maintain a relationship when you are not physically together. But in the end you are married and you have a say in this as well.
I hope she finds making her idea come to fruition to be not so exciting as it seems right now. I hope the two of you can work this out.
Open Marriages can work. I cheated on my wife due to being very unhappy. It ended a bad marriage and I resolved never to marry or lie again. Then I met my current wife. She agreed to an open marriage, because I too see myself as a free spirit. We learned that being honest with each other and talking things out kept us together and very happy.
Cheating is akin to lying. If she is honest about just wanting a fun friend, and you think you can deal with that, then keep the marriage together. If you leave her, it is over. If you stay, maybe it will be over later, but then again, it might work.
We have been together for nine years, and it just keeps getting better.
Yes, she has the same freedom to PLAY as I do. And our love for each other is stronger, because we have an unconditional love that is expressed everyday.
Good Luck,
James
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I'm a free spirit but she is just a selfish bitch. Chunk the deuces at her and show her some divorce papers to scare her straight. You are not wrong at all, she is so dumb. When you are married as man and wife you don't get to play around. Maybe you should let her catch you in the act with a friend of hers. Okay that's spiteful but you know what I mean.
Thank you for serving our country. You know you sound like a great guy. You're gainfully employed, take care of your family and have love for your wife and son. There are so many guys out there that ain't sh*t you would be a refreshing change for a woman who would really appreciate you. It's not fair that women like that get good men!
Looks like you are a perfect catch for her. She gets everything with cream and sugar on top. With this girl you can not expect anything as long as you have to leave all the time. And seriously, why should she sit home and be bored while you are flying around in your fighter jet? That's not fair at all man. You're a cool fighter pilot and perhaps she is imagining a nice life with you when you get older. But for now you are not there, so why would she start to grow wrinkles and gray hairs and sit on a couch alone and feel miserable? She needs a life, she got it, and she is honest about it.
She knew what she was getting into before we got married. When you marry someone in the military you know you can't see them all the time. This was my choice of a lifestyle and she agreed to share it with me. She did her own thing as well. I never held her back. But if she wants to f*** another man while she is married to me, I won't stand for it. I'd rather divorce her if she wants a swinger life.
If she such a free spirit that she needs to be with multiple men maybe she shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Listen to yourself man. You're debating in letting your wife cheat on you. If she wants to do it, it's time to break it off with her. It's still cheating whether she tells you about it or not. Be a man...stand up.
I don't think you're in the wrong! I'm surprised. I would say its either all of me or none of me. If she LOVED you, do you really think she'd desire anything but YOU? She must not know what she's got. A man who goes around all over the country fighting for HER and HER family, and still stays true to her. I'm sure as a soldier you had plenty of opportunities to cheat. She must of fallen off of the wagon...
The free spirt thing is what you do before you hey married I wouldn't like that either but maybe it would help if you were home more to give her more attention? I could never be ok with my man being with another woman I don't like girls to hit on him now.
When I got out of the military and if my wife said to me what she said to you, well that would be the end of it. Put it this way I'd be laying new turf in the yard!...
Are you a Fighter Pilot or just a Pilot who delivers stuff around the world for the military? If of the first, then you need to grow some balls and fight your corner, if you have been in country you should know what to do...
She needs to think aobut your kid because it is not all about her anymore. You need to let her know if she wants to be a free spirit she can be one all by herself. She should not think that the marriage revolves around her and doing what she wants. She isn't single anymore and she is now a Mother she needs to think about that.
This would be perfectly acceptable in France. In theory it would be passionate relationship that will be short lived and she will return to you more in love than ever knowing that you are the stable man that has been with her through it all.
If you can't deal with it then you should let her go. It is possible that if you say yes it's OK with you she won't even want to follow through.
its crazy that she told you...but honestly that could help, or make things worse. You have to decide how it will make you feel. Maybe dating someone yourself may make you feel better. You are allowed to do the same thing she is doing right? So go get some fresh poontang
This woman is a sociopath she has no regard for any one but herself. You should get away from her as soon as possible and get your child away from her as well. Something is very wrong with any one who would say that to their spouse. This goes beyond infidelity this is down right creepy.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Tell her go agead and do it but for one, its against the rules of marriage because you swore to god not to do such bullsh*tt, and two if you date someone els regaurdless of our vows we made to each other than I will date also and tell her once you find someone better than her your kicking her ass out and taking the child since she cheated first. That's so disrespectful man your in the military and you let that sh*t ride? man! SO help me god!
If she needed a guy friend I would not mind at all. Her social life is none of my business she can hang with whomever she chooses. But she wants a guy to be intimate with,
She wants to have sex with another man. A romantic fling. Play with the guy until she's done pretty much. She's made it very clear what she wants now that she is looking for another man. But won't leave me and says this is just something she needs.
If she mainly wants casual sex , then it's up to Question Asker to see wether he prefers her (and her feeling free to get casual sex) or if his need for sexual exclusivity is greater than his /love -or need- for her, if she can dissociate sex from sentiment, like a man -and if he has enough confidence that she will come back to him & their kid, that it will not be more than a fling on her behalf. Some open marriages work quite well, lots don't : it all depends on the persons involved.
I can understand a man who prefers a loved and loving wife with sexual liberties to a sexually faithfull wife without love, staying together for he kids. (I've known a few couples of both kind. It takes a strong, loving man)
what the hell? she is your f***ing wife. If she is dating someone else then she isn't your wife...dude what the f***? divorce her and see how she likes not having that army check man cheating is cheating gosh all I can say is wth
im sorry man..i think ur wifess a hoooe...id leave her and find another girl to bang...shes not dedicated to you so y shud you be dedicated to her...shes clearly not satisfied with you so find a girl who is...thats just my opinion...let the bird out its cage and if it comes back it is there to stay
What she is doing IS cheating. You need to let her know what she is sacrificing for this "dating". How would she like it if you dated someone else? What kind of example is she making for her son? I think she just needs a reality check. Hang in there :)
What the hell, that's really f***dup. because if she really loves you, no matter where the hell you are! she stiill would wait for you... that's no excuse.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Tell her if she loves you, she wouldn't do it
my boyfriend is about to go into the Army, and I wouldn't even think about dating another guy, because I love him<3
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
27Opinion
When people get married, unless you discussed it ahead of time, most people expect that to mean monogamy. Yes, people do live alternative lifestyles but both people get a say in that. Being married to a man in the military is hard. My family has a long history in the military and I see how hard it is to maintain a relationship when you are not physically together. But in the end you are married and you have a say in this as well.
I hope she finds making her idea come to fruition to be not so exciting as it seems right now. I hope the two of you can work this out.
Open Marriages can work. I cheated on my wife due to being very unhappy. It ended a bad marriage and I resolved never to marry or lie again. Then I met my current wife. She agreed to an open marriage, because I too see myself as a free spirit. We learned that being honest with each other and talking things out kept us together and very happy.
Cheating is akin to lying. If she is honest about just wanting a fun friend, and you think you can deal with that, then keep the marriage together. If you leave her, it is over. If you stay, maybe it will be over later, but then again, it might work.
We have been together for nine years, and it just keeps getting better.
Yes, she has the same freedom to PLAY as I do. And our love for each other is stronger, because we have an unconditional love that is expressed everyday.
Good Luck,
James
I'm a free spirit but she is just a selfish bitch. Chunk the deuces at her and show her some divorce papers to scare her straight. You are not wrong at all, she is so dumb. When you are married as man and wife you don't get to play around. Maybe you should let her catch you in the act with a friend of hers. Okay that's spiteful but you know what I mean.
Thank you for serving our country. You know you sound like a great guy. You're gainfully employed, take care of your family and have love for your wife and son. There are so many guys out there that ain't sh*t you would be a refreshing change for a woman who would really appreciate you. It's not fair that women like that get good men!
Looks like you are a perfect catch for her. She gets everything with cream and sugar on top. With this girl you can not expect anything as long as you have to leave all the time. And seriously, why should she sit home and be bored while you are flying around in your fighter jet? That's not fair at all man. You're a cool fighter pilot and perhaps she is imagining a nice life with you when you get older. But for now you are not there, so why would she start to grow wrinkles and gray hairs and sit on a couch alone and feel miserable? She needs a life, she got it, and she is honest about it.
She knew what she was getting into before we got married. When you marry someone in the military you know you can't see them all the time. This was my choice of a lifestyle and she agreed to share it with me. She did her own thing as well. I never held her back. But if she wants to f*** another man while she is married to me, I won't stand for it. I'd rather divorce her if she wants a swinger life.
If she such a free spirit that she needs to be with multiple men maybe she shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Listen to yourself man. You're debating in letting your wife cheat on you. If she wants to do it, it's time to break it off with her. It's still cheating whether she tells you about it or not. Be a man...stand up.
I don't think you're in the wrong! I'm surprised. I would say its either all of me or none of me. If she LOVED you, do you really think she'd desire anything but YOU? She must not know what she's got. A man who goes around all over the country fighting for HER and HER family, and still stays true to her. I'm sure as a soldier you had plenty of opportunities to cheat. She must of fallen off of the wagon...
Yes I had plenty of opportunity but I never took them because I love her so much and my son.
The free spirt thing is what you do before you hey married I wouldn't like that either but maybe it would help if you were home more to give her more attention? I could never be ok with my man being with another woman I don't like girls to hit on him now.
When I got out of the military and if my wife said to me what she said to you, well that would be the end of it. Put it this way I'd be laying new turf in the yard!...
Are you a Fighter Pilot or just a Pilot who delivers stuff around the world for the military? If of the first, then you need to grow some balls and fight your corner, if you have been in country you should know what to do...
She needs to think aobut your kid because it is not all about her anymore. You need to let her know if she wants to be a free spirit she can be one all by herself. She should not think that the marriage revolves around her and doing what she wants. She isn't single anymore and she is now a Mother she needs to think about that.
This would be perfectly acceptable in France. In theory it would be passionate relationship that will be short lived and she will return to you more in love than ever knowing that you are the stable man that has been with her through it all.
If you can't deal with it then you should let her go. It is possible that if you say yes it's OK with you she won't even want to follow through.
its crazy that she told you...but honestly that could help, or make things worse. You have to decide how it will make you feel. Maybe dating someone yourself may make you feel better. You are allowed to do the same thing she is doing right? So go get some fresh poontang
This woman is a sociopath she has no regard for any one but herself. You should get away from her as soon as possible and get your child away from her as well. Something is very wrong with any one who would say that to their spouse. This goes beyond infidelity this is down right creepy.
Tell her go agead and do it but for one, its against the rules of marriage because you swore to god not to do such bullsh*tt, and two if you date someone els regaurdless of our vows we made to each other than I will date also and tell her once you find someone better than her your kicking her ass out and taking the child since she cheated first. That's so disrespectful man your in the military and you let that sh*t ride? man! SO help me god!
Dating for cheating? Not to be accepted unless you're very open minded or/and if you want to do the same.
Or "dating" just talking friends, doing some activities with another guy, IDK, sports, movies? Should be no problem at all.
If she needed a guy friend I would not mind at all. Her social life is none of my business she can hang with whomever she chooses. But she wants a guy to be intimate with,
PS,
If it's not about cheating, why should you want to stop her from having male friends?
"intimate" like sex or "intimate" like exchanging confidences?
Or just not accepting she's getting (near) 30 and not in High School anymore and not flirting anymore like an adolescent?
She wants to have sex with another man. A romantic fling. Play with the guy until she's done pretty much. She's made it very clear what she wants now that she is looking for another man. But won't leave me and says this is just something she needs.
And like I already said before, not a male friend, a male lover. Be intimate as in physical, sex, foreplay, all that. Is that clear enough now?
If she mainly wants casual sex , then it's up to Question Asker to see wether he prefers her (and her feeling free to get casual sex) or if his need for sexual exclusivity is greater than his /love -or need- for her, if she can dissociate sex from sentiment, like a man -and if he has enough confidence that she will come back to him & their kid, that it will not be more than a fling on her behalf. Some open marriages work quite well, lots don't : it all depends on the persons involved.
I can understand a man who prefers a loved and loving wife with sexual liberties to a sexually faithfull wife without love, staying together for he kids. (I've known a few couples of both kind. It takes a strong, loving man)
what the hell? she is your f***ing wife. If she is dating someone else then she isn't your wife...dude what the f***? divorce her and see how she likes not having that army check man cheating is cheating gosh all I can say is wth
im sorry man..i think ur wifess a hoooe...id leave her and find another girl to bang...shes not dedicated to you so y shud you be dedicated to her...shes clearly not satisfied with you so find a girl who is...thats just my opinion...let the bird out its cage and if it comes back it is there to stay
What she is doing IS cheating. You need to let her know what she is sacrificing for this "dating". How would she like it if you dated someone else? What kind of example is she making for her son? I think she just needs a reality check. Hang in there :)
"I have been in the air force for nine years as a fighter pilot."
You got your Bachelor's degree and went through ROTC/OTS before you were 20? That's pretty good (if true).
What the hell, that's really f***dup. because if she really loves you, no matter where the hell you are! she stiill would wait for you... that's no excuse.
Tell her if she loves you, she wouldn't do it
my boyfriend is about to go into the Army, and I wouldn't even think about dating another guy, because I love him<3