I feel like I made my boyfriend not want to get married or have a family anymore..what should I do?

[Anonymous]

i take fairly good care of myself...i always make sure I look presentable. I make sure my hair looks nice and my skin looks flawless. I dress nicely, well...let's say I dress classy and always look my best. I am very intelligent and very attractive. I am very trustworthy and a down to earth sweet person. I love to have fun and am very outgoing. but for some reason my boyfriend treats me not as great as the women he has dated before.

he used to date very plain looking, not very outgoing or fun women. women who never wanted to do anything and had children. I have his email password because I use his email for ebay and paypal, and one day I got nosy and looked at old messages. he was very loving and not at all sexual, more family oriented. he constantly talked about their children and how he wanted to be the dad, etc...and was very romantic and giving...telling one girl he would give her 2 grand because she asked! he wanted to steel down and get married and be a stepfather to two of the women's children he saw before me.

now suddenly...he is all sexual toward me...doesn't ever speak about family or marriage. in fact he told me "i don't want to get married now...maybe in the future". what did I do wrong? we have been together for 8 months...and he brought up marriage and being there for their children RIGHT AWAY...but nothing with me. should I make myself more plain and not try?i want him to think of me as a motherly/wife woman than a very attractive girlfriend. he treats me too sexually...not lovey enough...what should I do? why would he be so into being someone else's kids father (three kids) than have his own with me?

[The-Romanian]

Telling a woman something nice about something precious to her, as her children. Even if she just acts they are. Would make any woman be more willing to do things, and feel a further connection.

You have no children. So, you have nothing to butter you up with aside for sex. You are there for his pleasure and yours. And sounds as if he won't see you the way you want to be seen. Especially after almost a year together and telling you he doesn't want to get married now, maybe in the future. "Maybe" is as big of a word as "if" in some cases.

Sounds like you have a guy who has manipulated some women pretty good.

[Asker]

i do have a child but he isn't the least bit interested in her...

[The-Romanian]

Maybe he just doesn't seen anything that serious involving that long term. And he's just going with the flow of things.

And when you were reading these e-mails. Were they together at the point of conversation, or just emotional talk prior to the relationship itself?

[Asker]

maybe, I just want to scream right now ugh...he basically submits to me 24/7 and acts like I am god and bought me a car and spends thousands on me all the time but I don't want that...i don't want to be treated like his god I want him to treat me like some plain jane and just marry me.

and emotional talk prior

[The-Romanian]

If he submits to you. Tell him to tell you what his deal is. And not to tell you what you want to hear. But what is going on with him.

Emotional talk prior is just him easing his way in with them. Doubt that talk was still there afterward. And maybe his submissive way is just an act now that I think of it.

[inlovewithamexican]

Maybe its something in your personality or values that is missing or maybe he still has hidden feelings for this person and can't fully mentally commit to you. With some men its not all about looks your character have to come as a package and the way you connect is meant for a lasting relationship. You also have been in a relationship for only 8 months its not a long time so maybe you should just see how things go and than if this is still a problem in the future than it just was never meant to be in the first place.