He texts me everyday, but doesn't make plans to see me or hangout with me? How can I tell him I don't want to waste my time like this?

So, I have been on 3 dates/hangouts with this guy so far and we have known each other/been talking for about 2 months. He has made it clear he likes me through words but not actions. He texts me everyday, good night/morning, how are you? etc. etc... it gets really repetitive and boring. I gave this guy a chance because he is really sweet, dorky, and not forward. I have only let him kiss me on the cheek so far, as he hasn't tried doing anything else (he sort of just waits for me to make the move I guess). We are both students, about the same age, same ethnicity (not that it matters really) and have similar interests.
Side note: last date was dinner, I drove and we split the check... which seems strange to me especially since I'm a lady, I drove, and it's just the beginning.

Problems I have with him:
-he doesn't make enough effort to see me/get to know me, yet spends time texting me everyday (only called me once after I suggested it) and lives 5 minutes away
-he doesn't have a car, which makes this more awkward bc I don't want to pick up a guy I barely know or just keep meeting up like buddies -_-
-he doesn't seem to have that much money, he doesn't work (i work and go to school)

What should I do? It has been over a week since we have seen each other, we live literally 5 minutes away from each other when I get back home from school (his school is close to my home), and I have already hinted to him that it would be easier if he had a car. The longest we have gone without seeing each other was 2 weeks (he went home over break, but could have seen me sooner since his home was only 45 min away and could have borrowed a car).
lol to the guy who blocked further comments about how hard it is to find jobs in this economy... all I can say is google and using your university's resources online is your best friend. Build a resume starting with skills, volunteer experience, and leadership, etc. Or better yet, ask your parents to help you find a job where they work (if possible). Gotta start somewhere.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You said you gave him a chance ". . . because he was not forward."

    And then you're expecting him to be forward? ; )

    Look, if you like him, which it seems you do and you say he likes you (are you SURE he likes you?) and you know he's not forward, be--what I would call--the "passive" initiator.

    Next time you guys are hanging out and you want him to kiss you, say something like, "you have really nice lips. Are you a good kisser?" Lean in a bit while you're doing it, and if he doesn't fuckin' get the hint (he may not, he seems a bit inexperienced), "dare him" to kiss you.

    I wouldn't normally recommend a woman be this forward, but since he seems a bit chicken, you've got to make the bait pretty damn obvious.

    Let us know how it goes.


    • LOL thats not the problem! I want him to not be forward and not try to kiss me or whatever right away. I appreciate the innocence of cheek kisses and stuff. The problem is he won't ask me out and he doesn't have a car (re-read the end)!! I'm not the type of girl to do all the asking, that just not me :/ I've had bad history with exes so I let the guy do the asking (at least in the beginning I expect that)

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    • Well actually, if he had a car. . . he wouldn't, b/c then he'd be picking you up. . .

      So then my next suggestion is to try to make him feel comfortable with the idea of you picking him up so you guys can go out on a date.

      Hinting at things like "i'd be easier if you had a car" kind of works opposite to that.

    • Yeah I'm not going to pick him up... it might sound bad but I just met him and I'm a girl. I don't feel comfortable with picking him up. I'll feel like the man in the relationship and thats not what I'm looking for. I already do a lot as it is, I want a man who can take care of me in those ways at least. Especially since I drive 100+ miles per week. I mean he said he won't have his car til June.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Ya know what? My guy is very much like that.
    We've been together for pretty long and went out only once. (That too on my request and he was acting all weird and nervous the whole time.) The reason being that we're from conservative families but we can easily go without anyone knowing. But he never asks me to go. :(
    So now I've given up I'm gonna see how far he can go without seeing me.

    • that's basically what I'm probably going to do. Just wait it out and see how he reacts to not seeing me for another week. I have plans every weekend so it doesn't matter for me lol

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    • Lol did things work out with your guy? I don't talk to this guy anymore and I met someone new and WAY better for me (I think) :)

    • Oh good for you :)
      I'm having my exams these days so I'm not seeing anyone actually

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What Guys Said 3

  • plan a date where you help him job hunt. Does he even have a driver's?

    • No, just no... and yes he has his license.

    • I'm just merely pointing out that as guy... Having a girlfriend that encourages you to do better, is WAY BETTER than a girlfriend who sits back and judges me for not having x or y.

    • He's not my boyfriend and I'm not judging him I'm trying to figure out what to do in this situation. I've only gone out with him 3x, I'm not going to tell him how to live his life.

  • Avoid going out with him

    • Lol I don't ask him to hangout or anything at this point but what should I do about the texting? I'm not one to just ignore someone... I don't know what to tell him.

    • Speak to him directly

  • I go to school, and have my own car. I'm currently unemployed but am trying to find one. You're lucky you have a job in this economy

    • It honestly isn't that hard to find a job... I work at 2 different companies actually haha and that doesn't answer my question -_-

    • It's EXTREMELY hard to find jobs in this economy, you must have good connections

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