Guy flakes twice, should I drop him?

[love2run13]

After a pretty good first date to the movies, we try to plan a second date. So a week or so later we plan to go out to dinner but the day of the date he says he's working late and can't make it. Then during the weekend he asks if I want to meet up for dinner the day of but I'm like 'no, I already have plans, please make plans with me a few days in advanced so i can make sure im free'. We reschedule for next week same day and the day of he's not responding to my texts about confirming its still on (I sent 2). Finally a few hours before the date I sent him a third text saying I am assuming its not still on since he didn't confirm with me and then he says he's sick and can't make it. Seems lame. Should I give him one more shot or drop him?

Drop him

Give him a final chance

[Azukuban]

I promise, if a guy is into you, he will call off work, ditch his friends, leave his grandmother funeral (maybe after the main ceremony is over), or take a ton of drugs to get over being sick just to make it there to see the girl they're lucky enough to go out with. And if you aren't convinced, let me assure you, a date to the movies is not a date. It's an environment where he doesn't have to talk to you, so to me not really a date. And now he bailed on you twice. You really are a nice person, because I suspect I lose any chance with a girl if I miss even one date at the beginning. Drop him, but don't feel too bad about it.

[love2run13]

Thanks, this helps a lot an i kinda figured they would! im just really frustrated cuz this has happened to me numerous times and i dont know why... im not ugly or anything and when i go out on a date i prefer to talk to the person

[Azukuban]

Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Dating isn't exactly a science so it's extremely difficult to work in it's field. It happens to me too, and apparently everyone. I always tell myself that I'm lucky because I could have ended up with that person, they just showed their true self early. Keep at it, he's out there waiting for you, and he won't flake on you.

[love2run13]

Thanks haha its like jeez! why the fuck is dating so hard!!! i dont get it...

[Azukuban]

Dating is easy. It's the people that are almost impossible hahaha

[love2run13]

How is dating easy? what do you mean... maybe im trying too hard and gotta drop people quicker if they show any immediate signs of lameness lol

[Azukuban]

The idea of dating is really simple if you think about it. You meet, you get something to eat, talk about... stuff, eventually make out. It's actually very basic in it's ideology. But we aren't machines. We're people. And we carry a few elements that have yet to be measured: emotions. Imagine dating someone you didn't care about, you wouldn't worry if they left or stayed right? But you do care, and all those emotions feed our actions and thoughts. It becomes very confusing and we start to trip over ourselves for this person. I am curious now, what do you look for when picking a guy?

[love2run13]

Well, I don't like kissing too quickly unless its a guy I feel immediate chemistry with. Things I want in a guy would be...
He's athletic and likes to be active and stay healthy like I do
I find him attractive
We both love running lol
We have lots in common and similar interests
We can talk together for hours
He's super friendly and talkative
He puts effort into wooing me and is a gentleman <3
Lots of emotional, physical and sexual chemistry
Loves sex and values it as much as I do
Loves animals like i do
Clean and smells good

Turn offs:
Is lazy and no ambition
Unattractive to me
Hates anything athletic
Wants to play videogames all the time and too involved in technology
Too sexually driven and not emotionally available
Bad hygiene
Hates animals or hates horses or pigeons
Smokes
Hates reading or movies
Obsessed with getting high or drunk
Is mean, sarcastic, and rude

[Azukuban]

We need to make this easier. Pick two from each list, the two best and two worst. The worst being he has them but they aren't so bad.

[love2run13]

I'm confused, so he can only have 2 from the list of traits i like and 2 from the list i dont like?

[Azukuban]

Yeah, so two of the best from the positive, and then two from the negative (that you could live with)

[love2run13]

Well for me to really consider a guy, he's gotta have these things:
-Emotionally compatible with me and super kind
-I gotta find him attractive
-We gotta share some major interests like running
-He's gotta be just as into health and fitness as I am
-He's gotta be clean and have good hygiene
-And he's gotta be financially stable (not rich)

I could live with:
Out of my list of what I don't like in a guy, I honestly don't think I could be in a relationship with anyone who has any of those traits. Is that bad?

[Azukuban]

No, it seems like you have a pretty good idea about what you want out of a guy. And I agree with you about your list, good and bad. High standards but achievable. I suggest you start dating a lot more guys to get a better go of the field. And lemon law

[love2run13]

Thanks! Ya I hope this guy exists... I found a guy just like this before who I fell absolutely head over heals for and woulda done anything for him but that ship has sailed lol I will try but I just don't get asked out and dating sites always lead to dead ends and guys focused on sex. Do you know of any places I could go to really get into the dating scene and find quality guys who are interested in dating?

[Azukuban]

Guys are all over the place. I always encourage people to meet people in person. I'm not 100% against internet dating, as it does have it's uses, but we're young and have plenty of opportunists to meet someone in person. There are a million places. Go to church, even go with friends to other churches and ask the cute guy what's going on. I get in line behind that hot girl at the store and start talking. Honestly, all you have to do is find a hot guy... basically anywhere in public and make up an excuse to talk. Ask for directions, ask for the time, or simply ask if he went to your highschool. Get comfortable talking to guys and if things are hitting it off, ask them if they want to hang out sometime. Be aggressive, but only in the sense that you're talking to them and asking for a number. I try to talk to a girl almost every time I go out, even if I don't want to ask her out, it's fun practice. Library, market, theme parks, school (college), on the street. You said you like

[love2run13]

Well I do work at a gym and there's this cute guy I see a lot and would like to talk more with him but im afraid he'll reject me and then i have to see him all the time :( how do i seem kinda interested without being too forward? I don't do church so would not be there though... forgot to mention I would prefer a guy who is not too serious about his religion. I will try its just hard for me cuz im really bad at reading body language and always seem to pick the wrong guys. thanks a lot, i appreciate it

[Azukuban]

Gym guy is perfect. Just start saying hi to him every time you see him, even if it's for a minute. Eventually he'll start to feel more comfortable approaching you and if he's into you, he'll ask you out. Honestly, don't worry about getting rejected. I can't tell you how many times girls have turned me down, yet I'm still here. I usually have a quote of the month I write on my bathroom mirror so I can see it every day. It's, "When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you are having fun, you can do amazing things." Find that confidence, find that fun and nothing can stop you.

[love2run13]

Ok thank you!! I will try this then. One final question: if you were a guy getting approached or talked to by some random girl you kinda see, what would be interested or something you'd like to be asked or talk about?

[Azukuban]

Honestly any thing is good. Whatever it is, just make sure you keep the conversation going. Sports is a good one, or working out

[love2run13]

ok, thanks again :)

[janaina]

I'd give him one last chance and tell him that it is his last. If he messes up again, then I would drop him

[SolitaireBond]

I think you already know what the answer is going to be, don't you?

[love2run13]

Well I want to drop him but one of my friends said give him another chance so no I did't lol

[Anonymous]

Drop him now.

[love2run13]

I think I will lol