Why do men get bored of relationships so quickly?

[Anonymous]

My friends and I have all been with our boyfriend's for over a year and now all three guys have gotten colder, seem bored of us, and their libidos have gotten lower. I try everything, when I try to cook my boyfriend something he finds any tiny reason to complain I never complain when he cooks for me, I've been trying to dress cute, work out, always look my best but he can't even seem to be bothered to spend much time with me. He used to be THE cuddliest most affectionate / passionate person for the first year, so I still try to interact with him in the same way we always used to. He kisses me with tight lips like I'm his grandma and pushes me away when I hug him too long. I don't even know how to interact with him anymore.

I don't think he really even realises he's doing it but HOLY SHIT it hurts a lot It's like a punch to the stomach and I feel this rejection daily! I usually have to initiate sex and I have been super sexually frustrated lately, he enjoys it when we start but he never really seeks it out or starts it anymore. Last night we were touching each other and I after we came I asked if it was bad that I still wanted to have sex with him and he said "YES... just kidding?" and went to sleep. I try to be the best girlfriend I can be but I constantly get rejected by him and ignored and it's really making me depressed. I want to do really sexy things for him to keep him excited and turn him on but I am SO SCARED to because I get rejected constantly and I feel like such a loser when he shuts me down over and over. Then when I ask him if he wants to break up he cries and freaks out, so if he doesn't really want to be with me but he also doesn't want to be without me what does he want? I give him his space and I'm not needy ( when I am lonely I usually don't say anything until it's really hurting because I don't want to be annoying) I just want a normal relationship, I don't want anything more than what we had to begin with.

[raio81597]

Actually he loves you he's just not attracted to you, because you've stopped trying to win him. This happens commonly to both men and women and is often a breakup scenario waiting to happen. The actions you took when you first got together is what he fell in love with about you, sexy is an attitude, it's an action. You answered your own question. "I don't want anything more than what we had to begin with." Time to rewind, and do over from an attraction stand point, do what you used to do before this happened, stoke the flames of passion, excite him as you once did and keep it up, being in a relationship is no excuse to be lazy and let the passion die down, it happens all the time. You have the power to fix this and he's just reaction to your actions, you are the neck of the relationship, the way the neck turns the head follows. Same for him being the head if he turns in a direction the neck will follow, it's connected it has to and it's normal. I bet he feels rejected too, considering you haven't said anything, he probably thinks you aren't attracted to him either. Communication is key to solving this as well as the actions. If you want to communicate use "I" statements, simply say "When you do, say, act this way, I feel_____ <insert feeling or emotion here. "Then tell the truth... " I would prefer that you, do, say, act, etc. then let him speak or think about what you said. He may slowly and not so eloquently tell you how he feels or thinks, but do your best to understand what he's trying to tell you.

[Asker]

Every time I try to be sexy and "win him over" he just harshly rejects me and I feel like a desperate loser who has to try as hard as I can while he doesn't appreciate any of my efforts and ignores me. I shouldn't be expected to be the one who is at fault or "lazy" when I am doing everything and anything I can think of to even get him to notice me meanwhile he's doing nothing yet he cries when I tell him I am not happy being ignored and want to leave him. I work out I try to look as good as possible I try to set up fun dates but he never can spare a moment for me.

[raio81597]

Well if you are not the problem and he is, use the reverse ultimatum, do what you did before tell him you feel neglected and if things don't change you're out, he won't believe you however because you gave in to his whining so stand your ground, give him a reasonable time limit, then take a break but don't call it that, be calm about it and physically distance yourself, even if that means going over a GF's house to stay or whatever, he too has to earn it, it takes two to tango. Guys can get lazy too and take you for granted, he too can chase you at times, think of it like a dance, if he's unwilling or can't do try and inquire what maybe going on for him, if he's focused heavily on a project at work he may not have the energy to give you, however if he's just tuning you out for TV or out with the boys, then do the reverse ultimatum. If upon investigation and you looked deeply at it and objectively, that he is busy, understand that he can't give you 100% his attention, I need more info.

[Asker]

He is busy but only as busy as I am with college, it's usually videogames...

[raio81597]

When was the last time you played with him? Perhaps if you bonded with him over something he likes and make the agreement that he has to do something you like you could shoot for a win win.

[Asker]

I play with him most of the time but then I have to stop sometimes to do homework and he keeps going all night.

[raio81597]

Is he close or present with you when you play with him?

[Asker]

He seems to be but I think he's kind of addicted to it, I love video games too but he often chooses video games over sleep.

[raio81597]

I think he's stressed. Addictions often come after a traumatic experience, to dull the pain of the wound. Is he failing, something going on at home, he is distracted and distracting himself. It's possible he may be depressed about something, has he always been like this, or is this fairly new behavior? I want you to sleep on it and think about it more, there's a reason for everything, this one maybe complicated, or not depends on how he handles problems. I'm empathizing with you here, this is harsh to go through and the way you feel is completely valid and normal, your concerns and frustrations are justified. You have needs too and they seem to not being met in the relationship, yet I bet that wasn't always the case.

[BrunetteNYC]

He sounds really selfish to me and I think you've given this enough. I say take some time and space from him because you deserve to feel loved. If he's not into you, he has to let you go, not stick around and get off on your being miserable. Stop investing in him and see what HE does.

[raio81597]

@BrunetteNYC I agree she hold back on the giving and investment, before she bails however, let's see if something isn't going on with him. Men withdraw often due to trying to solve a problem, it's how were wired to fix things and solve problems. It's biological. However thinking of what's best for her, I'm getting the impression she's trying to hard to please this guy and it's having the opposite effect. My opinion here since I don't know them personally is that he wasn't always being a douche and he's acting according to his biology, people naturally don't like being smothered especially guys, their counter dependent naturally. So I agree with you here, hold back on the giving, please him less and she should focus on herself and her own needs.

[MrMuffinMan]

This is a really good question. It makes me aware of what to strive not to be. I have no idea why he would act like that, but I feel for you. Thanks for making me aware of how shitty men can make their girls feel sometimes :-/

[Asker]

Well it's nice that I helped someone with this I guess!

[BuchitaBuchys]

Oh god, I have this problem too, or had. It's like they start out and appreciate the fuck out of you, but then they stop little by little and you're like "what's wrong with me?"

I even went like almost 2 months without seeing my ex or sex because he wasn't in the mood. I felt like so desperate because I had to beg him for sex. I tried to be sexy and stuff but he was like oblivious to it, or just didn't care. It took a toll on my self esteem.

I guess, it's because the honeymoon phase was over, but it couldn't have changed a man that much? I hope not all men are like that. This is why I just rather stay single. I know I'm a boring person, and men don't like boring women.

[sawno]

This is exactly what is wrong with modern love and relationships, the whole honeymoon phase thing. People mistake that for love, once it dries up nothing is left to be desired.
Personally i ignore any feelings or honeymoonphase happyness to get to know the girl first, that way i can love her for her and then after i am sure of my love for her let the feelings go wild!

This way once the feelings are gone we should still have a sollid relationship thats based on our bond / attraction and love. Rather then on how great she made me feel in the beginning.

[Jessabella]

Try planning a date night. Go somewhere that you two went to at the beginning of your relationship. Maybe get dressed up for it and tell him to meet you there and act as if he doesn't know you yet. make it interesting. Introduce yourself and maybe talk a little dirty and tease him the whole night, but don't let him touch you or do anything. Then when you go back to your place he'll, hopefully, want to rip your clothes off of you.

[swimmer76]

Are you sure he has not been cheating on you?

I am not trying to be the total troll here, but I have been the victim of being approached by those kinds of guys, where they seem 'trapped' in their relationships. One them seriously tried to make out with me while they were still dating their girlfriends but I said no.

[OlderAndWiser]

It sound like he either has found someone else and hooked up with them, or he has found someone else and wants to hook up. If he has a sense of morality, he is probably also feeling guilty about this dilemma.

Are you williong to live the rest of your life like this? Probably not. Sit him down for The Talk. "We have problems. Obviously, you aren't happy. I am not happy with our relationship. If we are going to continue, this needs our attention and the first step is identifying the problems. If we both take that step, we can start working on things. I want to do that. But if you are not willing to take the first step, then we are never going to be happy and I refuse to live the rest of my life like that. You have a choice to make. You don't need to make the choice immediately but I can't let you procrastinate in making this decision. Think about it for a few days and then let me know what you decide."

[HookingSwan]

oh

I wouldn't have made that assumption

interesting

[OlderAndWiser]

@HookingSwan The less likely explanation would be that he has decided that he is homosexual and feels guilty about telling his girlfriend about that.

[Asker]

You can't just decide to be homosexual, plus I'd doubt a gay man would be so into eating pussy if he does have a spare moment for me it's for that :/

[OlderAndWiser]

No, of course not. He may have come to the realization that he is homosexual and be in the process of resolving conflicts. There are homosexual men who, at one time, were married and had children. Being homosexual does not mean that a man would have no sexual skills with a woman. However, it is more likely that he is heterosexual and has found someone else.

[Tdieseler]

lol... me personally, i believe its because you women always want/whine about the same shit over and over and over... it gets boring trust me. you have been with your boyfriend for over a year, doing the same shit over and over and over, shiiit, i'd push you away too. thats a long time... you guys are waaaaay past the "honeymoon" phase. this is when you actually have to WORK to maintain your relationship. What you need is some SPICE (write that down)... do something new, cut your hair, get some lingerie, arrange a threesome with a cute girl.. i mean relationships are easy to get into... i can pick up my phone right now and get into a relationship, but maintenance is a bitch.
Also, its not the relationship, guys get bored easy.. Period. Women are already built towards commitment... you can stand in one spot for years if you have some person you love with you... but guys are not wired like that, we wanna move, hunters. And thats one of the reasons why i always tell girls who claim to have been cheated on that its THEIR fault. Its up to you to do whatever it takes to keep YOUR man focused on YOU. and the best way to do that is to switch stuff up, keep him on his toes, make him wonder what you got planned when he's coming home... etc.
if you can't do that, eventually, you'd bore him, and then you'll feel neglected... oh wait... too late :)

[FrostyFlame]

This is bullshit and way wrong.

[Tdieseler]

@FrostyFlame your opinion honey... your opinion. I know what works because i cut through the bullshit and not try to conform to what is "supposed" to happen but rather do what WORKS. If it wasn't for the fact that i wasn't ready, i would have been married eons ago. but i always personally bombed my relationships so they didn't go far.
you are telling me that she doesn't need to spice up her relationship? fine.. hey.. it ain't my relationship... she chooses how to flush the toilet.
he's already on the cusp of leaving, im offering her a magnet to draw him back and you are saying its bullshit? he's a guy, im a guy, i recognize the pattern cuz I've been there... hellooo?
@Asker you can listen of Frosty over here... thats fine... but i'll be here when you ask why he left. hopefully i can send you a link to this.

[FrostyFlame]

She's going above and beyond to make him happy. He's clearly the problem. You sound like someone who had poor examples growing up. There are plenty of men who are actually experienced in successful relationships who don't agree with you here. She should listen to people who don't have a messed up borderline mysogynistic view on relationships. With your mentality, you'll likely be alone in old age. Then I'll be the one sending you this link and explaining to you why that is.

[Tdieseler]

@FrostyFlame I might be single in old age but that will be of my choosing... probably because i don't want to get stuck with some tunnel-visioned hard-headed victim-playing woman like you.
the choice isn't ours... it HERS. and i don't see you offering a solution... just assigning blame. relationships take WORK.
"she is going above and beyond to make him happy" BY DOING WHAT? the same old shit?
how would you like it if i fed you the same frickin meal for over a year... sure you might eat it still but i bet you would be yearning for something else. Im telling RIGHT NOW if she doesn't add spice... he is going to leave... and then, i hope she comes back and blames you.
personal question... you have been cheated on right? you HAVE to have been cheated on. your mentality is sooooo "supposed"...
if the girl wants her man back, I've already said my piece. if she doesn't, thats her choice.

[redeyemindtricks]

@FrostyFlame @Tdieseler Well, both of you are kinda wrong. lol

"Working on the relationship" is something you need to do WHILE THINGS ARE STILL HOT. It's like doing regular maintenance on a car -- you do it while the car is still running perfectly, you don't wait until the damn thing breaks down.
Most people are dumbasses about this, and don't put any effort into keeping things hot until things have already gone cold. Whoops, by then it's too late. It's REALLY hard to resurrect a dead fire from a couple of embers.

I wrote a lot more about this in my opinion here:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1921126-is-only-one-partner-meant-to-feel-in-love-the-other-to-just-go

On the other hand, tdieseler, where you go wrong is by putting all this on the woman. Nope, that isn't how it works, either.
I mean, it's called "sexual TENSION" for a reason. Just like literal tension in a rope, you can't have it unless people are pulling on BOTH sides of the rope. It's up to BOTH people to (contd)

[redeyemindtricks]

... work on this stuff.

But, my whole point is that, **IF** you are doing things right, it won't feel like "work" at all. It'll be fucking intoxicating. You'll WANT to push it further and further. You'll grow to love being in a committed relationship -- even if that isn't normally yr thing -- because you and yr partner will push things so far that nothing else could compare.

srsly, that's how you win at life, here. My husband and I were NEVER the "commitment type" before we found each other. No way. I was the fuck-love-fuck-marriage girl, and he was (and still is) the man who could have any woman he wanted just by pointing a finger at her.
But, now? Fuck. Neither of us would even think about cheating -- (1) because we keep our promises, but, also, (2) because it'd be pretty damn boring to fuck someone else at this point. So boring. It'd be back at level 1, when we are at level 215978628412 together.

[Tdieseler]

@redeyemindtricks i kinda have that with my current girl... we started out with one deal... and then found out we were both crazy...

[thewanderingme]

lmao at this. I get bored with routine faster most. it isn't just men who need to change things up from time to time. depends on the person

[Tdieseler]

@thewanderingme it takes two... because if its always one person... it gets boring.

[BrunetteNYC]

No it's time for a NEW man who might actually have fun, go on dates... and act normal.

[NatashaJ]

Please explain how you can defend cheating is that your accuse when you cheat Tdieseler

[Tdieseler]

@BrunetteNYC define "normal"...

[Tdieseler]

@NatashaJ you think cheating starts from the act? cheating starts waaay before the act.
when you say you will be with someone... but yet deny them constantly or cause conflict... you are waiving your rights... so you have absolutely NO say in what happens next. you waived your rights...

[NatashaJ]

Yeah don't pin it on her just because he could be "cheating" maybe you do that but not every man is you.

[Tdieseler]

@NatashaJ definitely true... im a special breed. but that don't mean what im saying is false. and im not blaming just one gender... this happens both ways.
when your partner is constantly being ignored/denied, you push them away... into another person's arm. my fault theory is 90% (the so-called victim) who started all the shit due to their selfishness and 10% (the "cheater") who committed the act..
true that there are some people who are just pieces of shit and just do it anyway... but in most cases... that theory sticks. and I've proven it more times than one.

[Asker]

This shit hasn't been about me or my question for ages now y'all are just ranting like children. If you think a relationship is 100% a woman's responsibility to put in all the effort so that the "man" doesn't get bored like the little boy he really is then it will come back to bite you in the ass every time. Men have to put in effort too women are not meant to be your mommy and make sure you are always entertained we have lives to live too, I have to get an education I can't stay by his side trying to keep him interested all the time. He suggested we went to couples counselling and the man bitched him out because he said "You are acting like a little boy and that is not fair to anyone." My boyfriend needs to grow the fuck up and so do you obviously. I have been over here working my ass off trying to keep him interested and no I wasn't just doing the "same old shit" and he was too much of a child to appreciate it. I am tired of society letting you men think you get to act like babies! GROW UP.

[Tdieseler]

pfft... think what you want. say what you want. in the end... its HIM that probably initiated, and its HIM that will choose IF to move it to the next level (marriage) or leave. i mean, unless you are gonna step up and do it.. which i doubt.
If you want to do just what YOU want.. then be in a relationship with yourself. otherwise, do what He wants.
I mean, you have been doing what YOU usually do (which i am in no way saying is bad) but obviously, its not working. Im just telling you to switch it up. if that makes me a child.. fine. my relationship is not the one in jeopardy.
Just because most men don't fight/contest you women's expectations doesn't mean there aren't a few that won't. I don't give a crap about those so-called expectations... i know what I want, and if my woman won't do it I will find another that will.
so keep doing what YOU think you want.. eventually... it will be just you.. alone.. You do the growing. its 2016. Do you want to keep you want to keep your man or not?

[Tdieseler]

sigh... out of the spirit of decency... i will apologize for recent jabs.
but seriously though, if what you are doing isn't working... switch it up. you know the definition of insanity right (same shit over and over that doesn't work?)
Just switch it up... add some spice... do something different... i don't know what, you seem to be doing only basics (which is fine) and expecting that to curb a reaction. its 2016... things have changed... up it a notch. do something he will never expect... probably in bed.

[Asker]

You are just talking out of your ass because you don't want to help you just want to be right. This is not helping me as I told you I have been trying every single new way to "spice it up" as a possibly can. I am 20 years old I am not expecting him to marry me and I really wish you would just leave me alone right now because you are not helping you are just trying to seem like a big man and I can see right through it.

[Asker]

I think that you are just taking your general dislike and frustration out on me even though you don't know me, men in your eyes can do no wrong but I know I am not the only one at fault here because I have been working so hard at this. We are going to counselling and I regret asking this question because of people like you trying to use my question to fluff your own ego. I don't need your advice or help so goodbye.

[Tdieseler]

Finally. I've been waiting for that. lol.. you made me work for it. you are only 20...
you are damn right i don't know you, but i do Know the game.. been playing it for years. you might be one way but You can change, but the game doesn't.
What i have said... WILL serve you right in your current (and possible future) relationships.
for you, this is not the time to be worrying about this crap... boys/men are a dime a dozen. you have You to think about.
i wasn't wrong about the spice though.
sometimes, if what you are doing doesn't give the desired effect, try something else.
the choice is up to you darling. you are the only thing/person standing between happiness and coming back here with more questions. Have a good day :)
(also i understand it takes two to tango but men mostly react)

[Asker]

It would be nice if you could stop running your mouth, and you'd probably be the type to claim women talk to much, hilarious.

[Tdieseler]

not claiming anything... y'all DO talk too much. and yes, i am the type.
im a problem-solution kinda guy, i don't want to talk unless you have and actual solution in mind that i can work with OR want a solution. don't got time to be "talking about it".

you have a prob, I've offered a solution. take it or leave it. my work is done. read my profile... you can either try what i offered, or i'll see you back here when shit hits the fan because you are running with the definition of insanity.
you have a Great day/relationship :)

[frozenhorizon]

Hmm, I feel like this sort of happened in my last relationship and it happened in both directions (i. e. we both did it to each other). I feel that the reason was mainly because we didn't live our own separate lives enough. She wanted to depend on me for a place to live, transportation, money etc., and neither of us really went out with other people, and she didn't have a job or anything. Also we were not really physically healthy for a while because we kinda just sat around at home too much. I realized this a long time before it ended and started doing a lot more things for myself, going out and trying to meet other people etc. but her not doing anything like that kind of made me feel unattracted to her, which she took to mean I didn't care about her I guess and broke up with me.

It sounds like you *want* to be doing more stuff for yourself and impress him with it, so unless you're just saying that and not actually doing it, then that is not the problem. Are you depending on him for a lot of things? (i. e. emotional and/or financial support) Like is there something you are leaving out about this story? Because if there's some emotional or other issues you have that you depend n him too much for, it could be too stressful for him or make him not see you as an equal partner anymore. It does not *sound* like you are doing that but I don't know.

[Mesonfielde]

Well considering he is no longer interested in being with you as it is evident by his behavior regarding affection (or moreso the lack of it), he feels like he wants to break up but hasn't made up his mind about it.

Maybe you should do it instead of him and find someone who doesn't find love a chore.

[sdistotallyme]

Yeah I actually guilty of doing exactly what this girl is complaining about to me ex. I couldn't bring myself to break up with her, because I absolutely loved her as a person. However I just lost interest in her physically. I actually wanted her to dump me because I didn't want to feel the horrible guilt of dumping her when she was perfect in almost every way. I just lost sexual interest and I was pissed at myself for it.

Take a break from this guy. Don't make it permanent, but maybe he needs to reevaluate what's going on.

[rjroy3]

One of two things...

Either A. This is who he was before he met you and during the honeymoon phase he was on best behavior and now you're past that.

Or B. He's depressed.

Seriously. Even If you two aren't in the honeymoon phase and you two had real love at one point he is going to still want sex. Unless you gained 40 pounds in that one year and pretty much stopped doing the things you had before to attract him in the beginning, then it doesn't make sense for him to randomly stop wanting it unless he's going through depression of some kind

[Asker]

We left the honeymoon phase ages ago and I was really happy with that because being nervous and having your heart beat like crazy everytime someone even touches you gets old after a while. We became more comfortable with each other and things were still exciting, the love felt deeper and more real and less like a crush and I'm not expecting or wanting the honeymoon phase back. I haven't gained any weight since we met aside from in my boobs because I started birth control when we started dating obviously, he likes this but I don't! I try to do the same things to attract him and earlier tonight I guess I did something he liked because he pounced on which he never does. So now I am trying to think of what I could have done tonight that works as opposed to everything else I try. Also I have depression myself and my sex drive is fine I've been dealing with it on my own and I try to keep him out of it so I don't bother him.

[rjroy3]

As someone who's been with a girl who keeps problems to herself. That hurts the relationship. Just a side note.

But that's awesome to hear ! : D, get that booty! Hahah

[Asker]

I don't hide my emotions when I really need help but men already complain about women being "too emotional" so we have to hide some of it.

[rjroy3]

Gotcha. So just mitigation of complaining, so it's only things he can do something about

[bluenose1872]

It's always great at the start. The first 6 months are the honeymoon period where you fuck constantly and make a huge effort to impress each other. After that it's downhill. You take each other for granted. If the love ain't there then the interest won't last beyond the physical. Women always make the mistake of thinking everybody is salvageable and with love and patience and kindness a man can turn into the warm loving father material she needs to marry. It's bullshit. Men never change. I know I'm one of them. He's either the one for you or he isn't. Nothing will change that. You settle down with a guy if you love him and he loves you. He's not a work in progress. He's the completed product. Love it or leave it. Obviously you picked the wrong guy if you're feeling neglected already

[Asker]

I was happy after the honey moon phase for the first year and a few months I'm not looking to change him because you may want to lump me in with your stereotype of women who you have dated but I never believed in changing people being a possibility. From the feedback I have gotten from other men on here I am starting to think it may be low testosterone which has nothing to do with the first 6 months being over.

[bluenose1872]

Did you ask him why he's like that or are you assuming it's just low testosterone? You may not be taking him for granted but he may be doing that to you. We're all human and deep down we're all the same. It happens to everybody eventually. If we were all different then there would be no point in sites like this. Nobody could give advice to anybody

[Asker]

I've tried asking him why but he just gets upset and cries and acts like I'm going to leave him even when I say I just want to talk about it so we can resolve it. I don't know how to get past this reaction.

[bluenose1872]

Sounds like a grudge and he's sulking tbh. Youve got to be scientific about these things. What happened when he changed and turned cold? Men are like elephants. They never forget. All the little things build up and they end up resenting you. You've said something and he's taken it badly. He's half way out the door

[funnybanana]

He's acting likea prick. He's taking you for granted. Stop giving him attention for a few days. See how he reacts. If he still doens't give a crap about you then you should think about breaking up with him. It may not be easy, but have some pride here. If you really are a good girlfriend, then you don't deserve this kind of beahavior towards you. So don't put up with it and do something so he understands that you are not some toy.

[Anpu23]

Let me let you into a guys psychology. When things are good, or if we see them as good, we don't see a need to analyze our relationship. We don't think about where we are and where we are going, we just enjoy the ride. When things are bad we try and fix them, we don't talk about it with our friends we look for solutions.

Now libido is tied up with emotions. If a guy is stressed or tired he's less likely to initiate sex, and if he's really stressed he may become even celibate.

To me this sounds like your guy is dealing with a lot of stress outside of the relationship. Hence when you suggest that you break up he gets even more stressed. Guys don't often talk about their stresses, and so they can be largely invisible to those around them.

A good suggestion would be for him to work out more, to help him get his stress levels down. Any physical activity would do. But especially high cardio stuff running, swimming, biking, etc. It's just a suggestion.

[freedomz]

Great advice :)

[Riggers]

''Why do men get bored of relationships so quickly?''

Correction,

''Why do men that i choose to date who only represent a small portion of men get bored of relationships so quickly?''.

Were not all fucknuts who are exactly the same as some ahole you dated 'that one time' ya know?

[Anonymous]

I'm guilty of doing the exact same thing to my ex. It really sucks that mens/womens libido seem to work "in reverse". Most guys would readily bang an attractive strange women... where women need time to feel secure around a man and seem to "open up" over time. The man gets his rush from the initial sex... the woman feels a connection/intimacy and she grows more sexually interested with time.

My advice to you is to pull away from him for a while. Quit putting so much effort into this. I hate to say it, but be a challenge even slightly (and do EMPHASIZE slightly) bitchy. However don't do what my ex did... hold it all in and then one BOOM your gone.

[esparc]

Not all guys want to have sex daily. If he was very sexually active before, then he might have been a bit pent up before, now that the excess libido is expended, it may seem to him like work. Especially if the sex always comes at the same time every day in the same place. Also if he has some hobbies see if you can join him in them. Relationships aren't just about the sex.

[Asker]

I know that but I'd like it more than once a month or once every two months, he actually initiated today and was quite enthusiastic about it which is rare and now I'm trying to figure out what I did so I can make him feel that way more often.

[oldanddecrepid]

That sucks... if you are really that unhappy then you should just leave. Life is to short to be in a loveless relationship. I know it is a little scary, but if he really wants nothing to do with you then you should ask him what's up and if he can't tell you, then perhaps schedule a break to see if that changes his mind!

[Asker]

Yeah I should be more firm about how I feel.

[oldanddecrepid]

You should... I find too many people become complacent with their SO just because it has been a few years. It does not take that much effort to keep things lively in a relationship!

[heavensgift2girls]

It sounds like you are just out of the honeymoon phase of the relationship. The beginning is always more exciting. Everything is new and interesting at the beginning of a relationship. Some people just aren't interested into making a relationship work once that honeymoon phase has passed.

[Browneye57]

Because girls are boring. And yes, you are super needy. Whiny too.
In the beginning you had NRE - new relationship energy. There has to be more for the relationship to mature and move past that. If it's shallow you don't connect on a deeper level then it whithers and dies. NEXT!

[Humping_Tornadoes]

Not all guys are like that. As much as I like traveling and being active, I'm also perfectly fine with routine and a lot of people get bored quickly with it. Communication is key for this sort of thing.

As for sex, I don't know about others but my sex drive has always been consistent with the girls I've been with. Either they are just not interested anymore, or I'm just some horny motherf...

[Prof_Don]

@AdamThomas is on to something; the irritability and the sex drive plummeting are signs of low testosterone.

The biggest culprits of low testosterone are weight gain and stress. Do u think any of those can be an issue with him?

[Asker]

HE thinks he's gained weight but he's probably only gone from 150 to 156 or something and he's over 6 feet tall so he's very slim but he was grabbing this little tiny bit of fat on his tummy after sex today and I found it odd. He does do some modelling but it's like an barely ounce of fat and I told him he's sexy as hell and I couldn't see it, plus I don't like overly ripped muscled guys anyway. I always try to tell him that he's looking great so I was sad that he was standing there pinching this bit of skin which he thinks is fat. Is it possible to have low testosterone at 19? Is there anything I could do?

[Anonymous]

I can pull up 10 guys who are in the situation your friends are in.

I think it's pretty common both ways.

I think the people who are frustrated and still trying complain, and the people who are lazy make excuses. So you have three friends talking like you, you probably have three others keeping their mouth shut, but if pressed would be like 'we'lve been stressed recently, and then i had a cold before that...

[Anonymous]

I'd say it's instinct mostly. It's about the worst reproductive strategy you could have to stick with one female who isn't having babies. Guys in the past who did it didn't leave any descendants.

Modern technology changes the whole dynamic but you have a case of old instincts which no longer serve a purpose or are actually counter-productive hanging on and screwing things up.

[stardust101]

You worded this really well. It sounds like the kind of relationship I had with my ex husband. Notice how I said EX husband? You deserve to be treated with respect and be shown love. Don't let him lower your self esteem

[stardust101]

Oh... to answer your question as to why men get bored of relationships quickly is that they don't... only boys get quickly bored of relationships.

[Prince_teddy4u]

Because they're so selfish and greedy. They will not care for the things they own. Even their babe. They want something new, something big and someone unique every time. So they just try to go for new n cheat.
For stopping tour men to do this, better give yourself to him in little decreased pace. If they feel that they know you completely and they own you completely, they're done. They'll search new excitement somewhere else.

[rescuemyheart]

My only advive is don't listen to ANYone on here. Talk to him. Humans are too complex for generalizations. Only he knows what's going on. Communicate. Fix it if you can. If not move on.

[EaglesRock]

Hey
A

[slatyb]

You need a new guy. This guy has no respect for you. When a young relationship is at this point, it's over. You're miserable. Break up with him so you can have a chance to have something good.

[Jimrat86]

Some people just don't make any logical sense.
The women I date I treat like queens and that sends them running for some reason.
Just leave him for someone better.

[fueledbythc]

Sounds like he enjoys video games over his girlfriend. I 100% understand it. Video games are just more interesting than having sex. All I think about all day is how I'm gnna get the next dunk in smash bros.

[SarahsSummer]

Tl;dr. It's all about the hunt for many guys. Once his prey has laid down, the thrill of the hunt is gone.

[adollarsworth]

Like it or not, it is much easier for a girl to find a guy than the other way around. Its purely nature. Think about finding someone else. Sounds like you both may be happier. It will just be easier for you.

[yunggRooster007]

Girls please answer this :/
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1945069-i-got-a-good-one-for-gag-ladies-please-read

[abundantlyrich]

I'd say with him personally? the honeymoon phase is over between you two. The spark died with him.

[Zendrya]

have you talked to him about it? Not about breaking up but like about the actual issue?

[joeb73]

to me he is getting to passive and taking the relationship and sex for granted

[iFarted]

You forgot to put "some" men.

I'm always one to go all in, all my eggs in 1 basket. Once I feel that I want a relationship with a girl then she's my everything.

[GreatnessRevamped]

If you are getting that, then reciprocate.
Be cold to him, and stop initiating sex.
See how he reacts.

[Careless_Whisper]

From what I've seen over many years it's usually women who get bored of relationships quickly, not men.

[clampfan101]

I've never had a girlfriend, but doubt I'd get bored of a relationship if I had one.

[inlovewithfreedom]

guys are always the same.. if he doesn't fall in love with the girl, he will be bored one day... its obvious

[Anonymous]

if he constantly rejects you and you are lonely but can't even feel comfortable expressing it- dump him

[Anonymous]

I think you deserve better. I wish i had a girlfriend who cared about me as much as that!! :(

[AdamThomas]

Sounds like low testosterone to me.

[Asker]

He could have that at 19?

[AdamThomas]

Yeah, a lot more young guys nowadays have low testosterone. It's usually down to lifestyle, lack of exercise, diet, sleep habits. I notice you said he plays video games and doesn't sleep a lot, I'm guessing he doesn't work out or eat right either?

[Anonymous]

for every pussy on this earth there is a man that has gotten sick of pounding it.

[StickStickity13]

Women get boring after awhile...

[Asker]

Then why bother giving us hope if you think we all suck anyway? Just date a man.

[StickStickity13]

Never said you suck, but sometimes you want a different girl to have something new.

[Anonymous]

Completly agree. Its a toss up..

[Red_Robin]

He's probably stressed or tired a lot.

[crystaldallas]

that means they like somone else

[Anonymous]

Same reason women want guy with better genes lol