Guy has stood me up two weekends in a row?

[Anonymous]

What kind of guy is this--is he an abuser? we first met and he wanted to hang every single day. Then, one day he got weird and sort of controlling and decided to not go to any restaurants we agreed on and just took me home. Saturday, he said his dad had to go to the hospital.. right when we were supposed to meet. It was obvious he was lying. He said he'd text later but never did. He did in the morning. I was upset and asked him if it was true. So he goes from hanging out all the time to standing me up.. then threatened to stop talking to me when i confronted him.

He admitted he was sexually frustrated. We talk again and even get intimate one day. Again on the weekdays he wants to hang out all the time but we only did twice. Saturday comes around. We have plans, he even says how much he wants to see me and come earlier. Yes he didn't sleep that night I think, but at 6:30pm he disappears and at 11pm he texts me. He says he fell asleep and if he can come over now. I went out of town upset. He then asks if im going to see my ex--my ex who i haven't seen in a month who was a psycho.. it upset me... first he stood me up, then accuses me of seeing my ex.

he ruined my whole weekend twice- i did nothing except get upset.. he didn't see me Sunday then- he was still picking fights with me and said he went out of town with his brother in law. I was even more upset then. Apparently, on weekends he stands me up and thinks it's ok. Then he said "maybe we shouldn't talk anymore" i said thats a mature way of handling something. He's the one that harps on how he wants a relationship.. but he's lying manipulative worse, he's mia on the weekends and screws me over.. he even accused me of playing games. what kind of jerk is this... cheating? lying.. idiot crazy?

Updates

+1 y

he says "im getting older and want a relationship- i dont just want to mess around or talk to someone." i think you'd make a great partner. I said oh really a partnership is you standing someone up on the weekends constantly? at least u can say ur doing something.. but its like he wants me to do nothing and wait on him and screw me over. Then he said i was a liar and playing games.. i ask him what he does on the weekends like wtf..

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he doing all the right things to give you those vagina tingles and keep you interested.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22091-female-psychology-unlocked-how-to-get-girls

After all. A lot of you girls don't seem that receptive when guys stop playing stupid games and are direct and honest.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1984257-why-are-most-women-always-attracted-to-guys-who-are-either-assholes

[jwhit]

Fuck that guy, he sounds like he has serious issues and someone you don't wanna waste time dating. In a way it's good he showed you his true colors now rather than later.

[Asker]

i agree.. that's true. But what is going on with him--is he being manipulative? abusive or yeah as you say--just a jerk with issues?

[jwhit]

I think being manipulative/abusive and having issues go hand in hand.

[Anonymous]

This is a guy who you need to stay away from. And I think you know that already. He is neither the boyfriend nor significant other nor any other kind of human being other than a manipulative jerk who by the way is a liar. Whether he is cheating or not is irrelevant because you are not seeing him in the first place. Please move on your better than this

[Blonde401]

Sounds like my ex boyfriend all over. Run. Run and never look back, don't waste anymore time on someone like this, they will never change and they will always make you question yourself.

[Asker]

oh really.. was he cheating on you or just doing shady things and hiding it from you?
I've dealt with all kinds of jerks but this one... its obvious but hard to figure out what's going on

[Blonde401]

I don't think he was cheating, or I never caught him or found out anyway. He was emotionally manipulative, I suspect he had issues from his ex girlfriend - the love of his life absolutely messing with his head but I'm not here to make excuses for him. All I know is he stood me up on Valentine's Day and my birthday, I was close to commiting suicide (from other issues, not just him) and he couldn't even be bothered to come and see me when I needed him, I stayed at his house for a week (at his invitation) and he basically told me 'the moment you got through the door I didn't want you to be here'. And after 8 months of up and down love and abuse and hurt and anger, he took me to a pub, sat me down and told me he hadn't even wanted to be with me for the last 5 months we were together. That was after he asked me to be his girlfriend! So yes, he's just messed up or I just deserved to be treated that way. I'm not sure which.

[Asker]

why would u deserve to be treated that way? no.. he was just abusive and sick and a jerk.. and yeah these kinds of jerks take their anger out on the next person.. theyre really sick and messed up. And yes he was a real jerk and it's good you got away... this guy too I think was dumped by his ex he says for like millions of dollars of inheritance money, according to him she left him over the money... he even said "he doesn't have emotions anymore".. so he gave a clue as to him being a sociopath or whatever he is... it's csary these people are just awful people... they want to hurt others and take it out on them

[Asker]

no one ever deserves abuse... esp innocent people who've done nothing wrong the abusers will throw it back on you and make u feel that way. all victims are good people the abusers are broken damaged twisted freaks

[Blonde401]

Yeah I think they both have been hurt in the past and it's made them the way they are. He was very hurt by what his ex did to him but it wasn't my fault, I did my best to love him but it wasn't enough for him. I'm sorry you've experienced similar with this guy, they're just not worth wasting your time on unfortunately. And I don't know, I regularly get mistreated, used and abused by guys so I am just never dating again as a result. Hard to see it not being my fault anymore.

[Asker]

its not your fault... why would u even say that? most abusers and people like this will pick on nice and kind people and they see if you've been a victim before. They're predators and bad people.. i too and many other women have been abused over and over.. its definitely not your fault or their fault--its the abusers fault--they're disturbed and sick people.. its just your misfortunte that you end up meeting these jerks

[Blonde401]

Thank you for saying so :)

[PrincessofNohr]

He definitely sounds mentally unstable, and very possibly an abuser. I'd cut him out of your life cold turkey before he can cross the line from asshole to violent asshole.

[RJGraveyTrain]

In simple terms: a SHITHEAD.

Abort mission, abort. Fall back!

[RJGraveyTrain]

Thanks for MHGal.

[BullyDawg]

Pump your brakes gurl! Red flag red flag... you are heading for trouble someone who loves you does Not control you.…. that is a narcissist... if he truly upsets you and you feel anxious around him that is your inner voice saying whoa!!! Trust it ! If you feel that he can change express to him your issue judge his actions does he change? Or does he continue his current behavior? As I always vote Love I want people to find their match but being hurt or disregarded is not Love... guys you too it isn't just a girl problem it's a world problem... Hugz people smiles as always... be kind and love one another...🍀🐶🍀

[AndyOh]

Stop wasting your time and find someone else. If you have been stood up twice and then you have to say WTF... looks like red flags all over the place to me.
Some people are like that. I think they get off knowing that you are waiting for them someplace.

[Mesonfielde]

Why on earth are you even going out with this guy lol

[Asker]

thats not the question... what kind of guy is this

[Mesonfielde]

A dickass

[matt1209]

If you want him let him make all the effort in contacting you. Make him work for you attention. He might appreciate you. Otherwise move on to someone that will treat you better.

[Sunflower19]

Drop him. I was in a situation kind of like this a while back. He's the one playing games and shit.

[oldanddecrepid]

He sounds like a roller coaster... why bother! Unless you are just looking for a ride? LOL

[Anonymous]

A few questions:
You tolerate all of this because you love him?
How old are you?
How old is he?
If you don't mind, which state/city do you live in?

[nikki_24]

He sounds like a lying jackass. Move on he may be crazy!

[chrisbigman]

I'm not sure if he's an abuser, but he does seem to be a loser. I don't know what bug he has up his ass, but you might want to avoid him for the time being.

[johari]

He ain't worth it! Find a new guywwho isn't abusive

[TacosRAwesome]

Date other people. Or become otherwise busy for him.

[Youdoyouboo]

Sounds like a douche bag

[brewersfan01]

he's a crazy idiot. fuck that loser.

[bcromartie]

This matters why? Move on with life.

[apple24]

move on!