I want her to text me so badly that it's killing me!

She knew I was interested in her----we texted, teased each other, and eventually I started to ask her to do things. We knew each other for a few months and it was at the end of these months that I began to escalate because I realized I had feelings for her. Therefore, from my actions, along with my flirty touching, she knew I was interested in her. But then she started to make excuses to hang out and not work with me in finding an open day, so I "put the ball in her court" and then dropped contact to see if she'd text me ever.

It's been an excruciating four months. Nothing from her and it was extremely difficult at first but I got through it----for the most part. Memories of her and our old conversations keep flickering whenever I check my phone. Obviously, nothing from here.

You have to understand the kind of person I am right now: I'm very isolated because I used to be very shy. I have two friends that I still keep in contact with. When she met me, it was my outgoing side that came out since I've been working on my shyness.

And I want to continue working on that, but the problem is that my circumstances are making it difficult to connect with other girls to get over her. As incredible as it sounds, I have only spoken to one girl in the last four months (since I last saw her) and only 4 or 5 people total outside my family. I don't see this changing for the foreseeable future---meaning the next year and a half or so. So my isolation plays a lot into my yearnings.

I had game enough, though, to know that girls hate clingy/desperate people, so I knew how to play it cool and escalate when necessary.

It saddens me so much that she doesn't text anymore. She has a strong social network so I'm sure she had no problem forgetting me. In August, she'll be moving out of the state to a new college. I'm sure she'll meet some guy there and live happily ever after with no thought of me. That is, if she hasn't already met a guy at the bars/clubs she goes.

There was no closure. The last texts we sent were teasing...something we were escalating, it seemed, every chance we got. This is so hard for me to deal with because all the residual feelings keep coming back when I'm just on the verge of forgetting her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It seems like what you need is closure. She's obviously not going to text you first; some girls are like that. Believe it or not, there are still a few girls left out there who want the guy to make the move. Maybe she figured you weren't into her anymore? I don't know, but you sound like you need closure, so call her. Calling is better than texting, by the way. You can hear a person's tone of voice in a call, that you can't hear in a text. You get the emotion and feelings behind the words. So just call her!

    • What's holding me back is that I technically DID make the first move. I asked her to hang out and we did then she stopped. And I essentially put the ball in her court. What more could I do without looking desperate?

      It bothers me that it seemed whatever our relationship was was escalating and then it just stopped and she hasn't put any effort to build it. I definitely do need closure but I can't help but wondering that maybe I'm the dumb one. I mean, people tell me all the time that there

    • Are people in your life who come and go, and I understand that, but does it HAVE to be that way, especially with someone you like? I TRIED not to make that happen.

    • If she hasn't put any effort into your relationship (romantic or friend wise), she's not going to and she's not worth your time. Who knows, she may have been waiting on you to talk to her these past four months, but really if you need the closure then get it. Don't waste your time on someone who isn't willing to spend time on your relationship (romantic or friend wise).

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What Guys Said 2

  • holy sh!t...did I write this and not know it? lol exact same thing is going on with me right now ...exact! one thing tho is she told me why..said she still liked me but didn't want to hurt me and I just can't get over her...we had a connection with each other like no other but we did mess around and go out/hang out. So when you find the best answer let me know lol

    • Hey. Now it's been 6 months, I've gained perspective. I'd suggest to just leave it and not worry about her, as hard as it is. I tried texting her---in the end, it gave her more power over me and more reason for her not to talk to me/see me anymore. Just don't do it.

  • I know your pain all too well. I've been through this many times before but I usually meet new girls not too long after the previous failure so I forget about them quickly.

    However, now I met a truly great girl and it is a failure once again. Took me some time to forget about her.

    The best advice I can give you is to try and find out how you can 'do it better' next time. You'll forget about this one if you find a solution that will make you positive about the next woman you meet.

    And try and meet other women. You probably don't feel like it at the moment but I can guarantee you that you'll feel great when you meet some other cool gal.

    Lastly, you'd be surprised at how many great women are out there. I'm sure you will meet one that are leaps and bounds better than this one once you meet more women.