Were you ever someone's second choice?

[Luci92]

I have been, only once though.
If you have, how did you deal with it and move on?

Updates

+1 y

Aww this is sad :'(

[PinkMichae]

Yes I was. I was head over heals with a guy that was my best friend for 5 years. We spent almost every day together. We were close to each others family, would go to family events together. I finally got the nerve up to tell him how I felt. But he said he was in love with this married woman that would have him come over when her husband was gone. I told him not only was that wrong but she made it clear she only wanted friendship and sex. But he held out hope that she would leave her husband for him. I ended up moving 1000 miles away which was good because it gave me time to get over him. I never completely lost love for him but met someone else and started a life and family with him. Well I got a phone call 10 years later from the guy. He professed that he was an idiot and he should have married me. He referred to me as the one that got away. I have to admit it brought up a bunch of unresolved feelings but in the end I knew I was better off without him and I was happy at the time with the man and family I had. His loss.

[Luci92]

Sorry to hear that, I know how that sort of thing can mess with you, but glad to hear it all turned out alright.

[PinkMichae]

Thank you. Yes it was very heartbreaking at the time but it's funny how young and in love I thought I was. Because the older I got the more I realized what I wanted was nothing he was. He's my friend to this day and I'll always love him as my friend. But I know he would not have been right for me. Love is equal. One person can't love the other more or it will not work. So take your time hun. Really figure out what's gonna make you happy and what you deserve.

[Luci92]

Thank you for your advice, I will take my time :)

[PlainJane86]

I also suspect I was 2nd choice when it came to a guy. Long periods would pass before he talked to me again. I hadn't been talking to him long, though, so I didn't have any feelings for him. But I don't like being used, so I started ignoring him.

But I have constantly been 2nd choice when it comes to friends. My whole life. Especially with one friend, the one I've had the longest. She's always on the lookout to replace me, and I've always known this. I know it's not healthy, but I just choose to hide that it's bothering me. On the bright side though, I've met some new people recently and I can tell they are real, true friends.

[phil2]

I have, I just tell myself that his first choice doesn't want him so he can't go to her anyways. I think the real damage was to my self esteem, that i wasn't worth first choice. The way I see it is that it doesn't matter if I am first choice to him because I am loved by God and that's worth more than anything. I think I looked too much into it and I got angry for no reason.

[Luci92]

I can relate, it was a big blow to my self esteem -especially since (based off what he had said) it was almost a sure thing that we were going to start dating, and I let myself really open up, but then he started dating another girl.

[Underheel]

How can a guy do this with such charming girls? You really goddess n that guy definitely feel guilty

[Princeofanons]

And be boyfriend # 2? Nah.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_zeN3k6dL0

Although you never really know whether you're someone's second or not unless it's like a love triangle or square in which we all like the same person.

[Chief16]

Well no. But reminds me of that old meme.
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...506adc1171.jpg

[Anonymous]

Initially when my ex and I started hanging out, he was still talking to his ex and they got back together while he and I were hanging out. So yes, I guess I was a second choice at that point but we were together for 3.5 years, and I was the one who ended it. He still wants me.

The next guy I got involved with who I am in love with, was still not over his ex-girlfriend. I'm not sure if it makes me a second choice in this case, as there's a 99% chance they're not getting back together (not at this point anyway). His ex has been dating someone else for a year now.

[Wulfila]

All the time. I'm the dude women go after when they begin realizing that they're used up and are no longer desirable by men, yet they want "a good guy" to take them (and their kids too, in some cases).

Sorry, shugah, but I didn't want ya then, and I don't want ya now. ;-)

[Anonymous]

i suspect i may well have been someone's backup rather than second choice.

troubles in her relationship, flirting in various different ways, then one day out of the blue she says i don't know what i'd do if i fell out with him and the thing was we weren't talking about relationships for this to even be something that would be expected to be said.

[Rocket_Queen]

Yes. Oh my, he asked me to be his gilfriend... I said yes. We were in a "relationship" for a week and then he called me from his ex girlfriends apartment with her on the other line to tell me that "he needed time to figure out if he wanted me or her"... I started laughing and said "here sweetheart let me help you with the decision, I'm breaking up with you, you're a free man, she can have you, and I wish you both the best" and hung up.

[coolbreeze]

Yes I been first, second and third and forth choice. lol. I just don't let it bother me and don't take it personal. Nobody ain't got time for that. lol

[Anonymous]

I won't be. If I know he's still in love with someone else then I don't want to date him. I dated a guy who was recently divorced and I don't think he loved his ex anymore but I don't think he loved me either.

[Opinion Owner]

A lot of times you can tell how he treats you if he really loves you or not. You can never know if he liked someone else a lot of if you are truly second. If he speaks a lot about another girl including his ex or you know he's into someone strongly and everyone knows it don't date him! But even if no other girl is mentioned you will know if he's really into you or not. When he really cares you know on your heart. I've had it both ways.

[SvetlanaSavachenko]

I've never been any man's first choice, all I've ever been to a man is a piece of ass.

[heath2000]

I am right now.. I'm my ex's 2nd choice of course my bff is 1st..

[madelacroix]

I was kept around as a booty call by my first love while she went to clubs, after breaking up with me, and daring some guy twice her age. Not same thing, but sucked.

[steveguitar]

Never been anybody's choice, even if they did like me, they didn't really say anything

[FakeName123]

No. I wouldn't date anyone where I am possibly second choice to begin with..

[Puppylove94]

i was, but eventually i moved on.

4 years later he came back and tried to get me back but it didn't work out.

[askuser]

Out of curiosity how did things end in the first place? And how did he try and get you back?

[Puppylove94]

@askuser he had been on and off with a girl for a yr before and was scared to start something new. His girlfriend was the type where she would break up with him and want him back when he showed interest in someone else. Super unhealthy relationship but he wanted to stay with someone he was comfortable with.

He tried to get me back by becoming my friend first and then trying to convince me to give him another shot. Always asking me on dates and stuff. Telling me he made a mistake.. blah blah. I ended up giving him another shot but I just didn't feel it anymore.

[lazermazer]

Actually I'm the third choice, first two were my elder sisters. My parents after were like , what the hell let's pop another one, so this is my story.
...

[DaddyRollingStone]

I don't know. Don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to, you know? I wouldn't want to know.

[dudeman]

yes i was once i left her after 8 months or so when i found out.

[AlwaysBelieving]

No I haven't. Though this could be because the gal didn't tell me. Then again I don't date much.

[_HimigNgKalayaan_]

Haven't been anyone's choice at all m8 and that's gr8, r8ted 8/8.

[Anonymous]

always only second choice like fuckbuddy beside her boyfriend (I refused because I still have standards)

[Anonymous]

I was ,,,

When I had come to know that.. Told her to F*** off...

[Yumix]

I'm no one's choice -_-

[Luci92]

Aww :( you can be my choice! Lmao

[Yumix]

your second? 😂

[Luci92]

Hahahaha well I have no one else in my life right now, so I guess that makes you my first (choice) lol

[Yumix]

hmm making a random dude from the internet who's 11 years older and who you have barely talked to your first choice... either I'm only half as shitty as I thought I am, or you're really desperate... I go with the latter one :P

[Luci92]

Well, if I wasn't hesitant before, you certainly talked me out of it now lol!
I'm just messing with ya, you're too old for me :P (you know, along with the fact you're from the middle of who knows where lmao)

[Yumix]

argh... looks like I fucked it up 😂

I thought girls like older guys? ;P

[Luci92]

Haha pretty much lmao
Mmm, most are, but I think I draw a line at 19/maybe 20 right now lol (can still crush on em, just not date em)

[Luci92]

crush on older dudes I mean lol

[Yumix]

hmm... any plans on raising that line to 29 as soon as you're 18? ;P

and crushing on older dudes but refusing to date them? Shitty feelings guaranteed lol

[Luci92]

Hahaha that's probs what'll happen.
Oh yeah shitty feelings 100% :(

[brendaqueen]

Yea a lot times is honestly hard though

[posted]

I'm sure I have. Don't really give a shit tbh.

[MusicLover8098]

I've never been anyone's choice 😔

[ThisDudeHere]

I haven't been anyone's first, let alone second.

[Chief16]

www.reactiongifs.us/.../raining_david_tennant.gif
Feels brah.

[ThisDudeHere]

@Chief16 https://i.imgur.com/Gcn7per.jpg

[xxbebosxx]

dont want to be anyone's second choice

[BubbleBoy69]

Were you on a TV show H20?

[xxbebosxx]

@BubbleBoy69 nope

[mikemx55]

Looool, everyone mistaking you with celebrities now XD ahahha

[1smooth28]

I don't think I've got that close!

[angelwingscake5]

I Was Never Anyones First Or Second Choice.

[Triss]

I don't know maybe yes and that suckss

[iceEverestere]

I guess I was. Really.

[orphan]

maybe for a prom date or somethin'

[art84]

Never have been before.

[OfDeath]

No. Maybe 5th or 6th though

[NajemEddine]

no
yet again that why probably i m single :p

[lost_alice]

I think I have always been

[Chico_brah]

Stop being so sad alice. It's depressing AF

[lost_alice]

@Chico_brah I am sad girl

[Alex88F]

yeah. im trying to forget about it even nowdays

[Alex88F]

how i dealt with it tho? i said im not willing to be the second choice of nobody, let alone my crush. i moved away and now she seems trying to contact me.. dunno if she trying to be firendly but frankly im not willing to give up and grovel for her again

[wayned]

I'm sure most of us dont and won't know xx

[Anonymous]

narcissism first world problems at their finest... .

[animus1988]

lol this. id go as far as to say, the average girl in todays society unknowingly likes being your second choice because it makes them work harder for your attention. women are so narcissitic as someone else pointed out they literally can't accept the thought of being someones "second choice."

Like the funny thing is even if they dont like the guy they will start to like you all of a sudden if they think you are making them your second choice... not becuase they like you, but becuase thats how bad they can't accept beign the second choice

[Luci92]

@animus1988 Mmm, you lost me. I can accept I was someone's 2nd choice, so I don't know where you got that from. Is this an attack on me or women in general?
Anon, how is this narcissistic?

[animus1988]

im saying deep down whether you realize it or not part of you actually likes being the second choice because it gives you a challenge and you like most narcissistic women out there NEED the drama to survive. the small ounce of insecurity you feel when you're not sure if you're #1 AKA that drama, is what makes you more attracted

[Luci92]

@animus1988 Nah I'm pretty sure I don't like it lmao. And nor do I like the challenge, I accepted it and backed off. I also don't believe I'm overly narcissistic.

[animus1988]

nah girls just want what they can't have. when a guy presents himself as a challenge (you having to compete with another girl) it makes us more attractive. girls are too naive to realize this tho

[Luci92]

@animus1988 But I was under the impression I was his first choice right up until he started dating the other chick (didn't even know there was another girl in the picture) and as soon as he started dating I backed off...

[Daynada]

@animus1988 you say girls like being second choice? I don't think so, or at less I don't. I don't like a challenge from another girl. That's too much stress and the fact that you weren't even a thought of first makes you feel stupid. That's just the dumbest thing I've heard

[animus1988]

@Daynada feeling stupid makes you feel submissive and that subconsciously creates attraction in your female brain. the grass is always greener on the other side and girls always wnat what they can't have. deal with it. if that same guy was single he would be less attrractive

[Daynada]

@animus1988 That's not true at all. You are so wrong!

[Luci92]

@Daynada totally agree with you. And ignore him, anything we say is falling on deaf ears, I think :/

[animus1988]

so you are denying that an average man who is seen with beautiful women doesn't make him any more attractive? lol you are naive if you dont think it raises his status/attraction with lots of women

[Daynada]

Luci92 yes, I agree with you. He's doesn't listen and thinks what he wants anyway so there's no point in trying to say anything 😑

[Daynada]

@Lici92

[Daynada]

@Luci92 sorry

[Opinion Owner]

@animus1988 exacvtly. thats women for you. they can't fathom being the second. but also want you to be desired by other women cause they operate through validation from others.. .

[animus1988]

exactly they are both against me now becuase they think im not "listening" becuase im not agreeing with them like every other white knight here. in a womans mind, disagreeing with her means your "not listening" LOL

[Anonymous]

Maybe yes, but I don't know.

[rgb008]

Probably

[Waffles731]

No, I have not