Is it psycho that I'm frustrated that this new guy doesn't text back for, like, an hour, even on his day off?

So I've been seeing him for a couple of weeks, but we haven't made anything official. Maybe that's why I'm sort of reading into the fact that he takes forever to reply to my texts.

I get it when he's at work, but this morning I texted asking if he'd like to do something fun this weekend and it was over an hour before he replied. He's off today, so why would it take him so long to reply? This is all the time, and I'm not sure I have the patience to deal with that long-term.

I kind of want to ask him about it because I'm genuinely curious, but I KNOW it'll sound psycho. How do I deal?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, if you wanted an instant reply, why didn't you CALL him and have a conversation on the subject?

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    • Because I'm at work, but also because millenials have our own weird communication etiquette. It would just be weird to call. But maybe I should more often, I'm case it turns out during that long pause he's trying to make sure he didn't make plans with other girls! Haha

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    • Send him another message! Maybe he's afraid he's becoming a pest contacting you all the time

    • I totally agree with your point of view. Never thought of it in this way before. I find texting increases people appearing rude and misunderstanding you.

Most Helpful Girl

  • That may just be his texting style. I take a while to answer, especially when I'm at home since my phone isn't on me at all times. If he's leaving you on read, then that's possibly a problem, but if not it I look more into what he says when he does reply. If he sends one word replies or doesn't say he love to hang out or seams bummed that he's busy, that's more concerning than how long it takes to say it.

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    • Yeah, that makes sense. When he does reply, he's pretty sweet and eager.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • Psycho? That's debatable, but what's not is that you do need a lot of attention. Probably should make that clear to him.

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  • You've got millennial painted all over you. People used to have lives before technology. Yeah, we really did exist. We had to wait to get a call back from our friends. If we were lucky, they had the new and shiny "answering machine" technology that had just come out. I'm not trying to make light of your situation; I'm dating a millennial, I get it. But you just need to relax and realize life happens to people. Sometimes things happen that are beyond our control. Mom gets sick. The car won't start. We need groceries and the store has crappy Wi-Fi. Any number of things. Take a deep breath and realize he isn't going away. He'll be back as soon as he can, I promise you that.

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  • Give him a break. If he responds instantly to every text, how is he supposed to get anything else done? Doing anything useful requires focus. It sounds like maybe he has a life, and you need to get one of your own.

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  • It is psycho. people can be busy with errands, family engagements, etc.

    For me personally, I'm not into the habit of multitasking with texting while doing everything. When I have some downtime, I will text.

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  • Girls get annoying, guys don't get all into their partner like that. If you're texting him all the time and he hanging out with his buddies then he probably doesn't text you on purpose, hoping you'd let him live his own life.

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  • Oh my , I think that's too much... a text is just a text if you wanna talk call him? Or arrange plans when you see him. Hate the whole text thing !

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  • Yes, those are signs of a psycho.

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  • Nope.

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  • Stay away from the phone for a while and keep yourself busy and away from the mobile device.

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  • No I hate it too. Makes me annoyed.

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  • Sometimes it takes a while finish up in the bedroom. Give him some time. Once he finishes with the other girl he'll get back with you.

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  • Holy shit an hour? Are you serious? That's absurd. He should respond in 10 seconds or less.

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What Girls Said 12

  • You need to relax. My boyfriend goes this long without texting me back too, and he doesn't even text when he's in work. There's plenty of things he could be doing other than looking at his phone all day, especially on his day off. If everything is okay between you two other than this then there's no problem here.

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  • Not everyone is glued to thier phones all the time. Some people have hobbies, errands to run, chores to do, Maybe he was in the shower? Maybe his ex showed up for a quickie, maybe his mom stopped by to bring him breakfast or maybe he was cooking his own breakfast. He might think you're being nosey for asking but either way he wouldn't be honest if he was doing something "bad"

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  • It is SO irritating when someone doesn't reply in a timely fashion! What happens if you don't say anything, does he initiate conversation?

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    • Yes, he does, eventually. I'm probably just too used to my ex, who always responded right away.

    • If you're a couple of weeks in you may want to back off a bit, you certainly don't want to come off clingy!

  • Guys aren't complicated, like we are. Don't waste your time. If he wants you... HE WILL TEXT BACK.

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  • I totally understand you! You just need to calm down. Try distract yourself and do something else, call friends, or go out with them or family.

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  • Honestly I'm the same, but you just need to deal with it or find someone who'll text you 24/7 some people just don't like texting

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  • just so you know i do the same thing, and guys HATE that. they want a girl that plays the hard to get game even when they don't admit it.

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  • Maybe he has some other things to do.. well for instance, some people like to be away from their phones when they can. My advice - don't ask, it would seem like you are hanging on him.

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  • At least he texts you back. The guy I'm seeing atm doesn't always text me back. It's not that big of deal if he's at least texting you back maybe he just doesn't like to text

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  • I remember my ex husband used to tell me that he left his mobile phone at home (before meeting me) as he didn'''t see the reason to carry it. He did have family and friends but if you wanted to talk, you pre-arrange meetings or you devise a time when a call would be set. I'm one of the pre-millennials but get sucked in on occasion. There's this temptation to have a conversation over a text message however I miss hearing the person's voice, seeing their expressions and reactions. It does not flow as well eventhough getting that bing straight after you've written - may APPEAR to be flowing well. Live calls is cool but once again, you're not touching the person or even breathing in their air. It's so plastic! I'm personally against online dating and prefer the more natural approach. May take a little longer to meet someone but I'm positive! Just have to get out more:)

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  • Forget hour, my guy doesn't text/call me back for days sometimes even weeks

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  • I get frustrated too when someone doesn't text right back , considering I know they are online and their phone is in their hand. It just clarifies your position in their life. Someone who is genuinely interested will be reliable and and eager to text you asap

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