My boyfriend says that he prefers blondes on his old dating profile. I'm a brunette. Should I leave him?

I found his old okcupid profile where he says that he prefers to have kids of his own ethnicity and prefers "light hair". Mind you, he's a blonde. I feel bad about this because I'm a brunette Latina. What should I do? Does this mean I'm not good enough?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you think this is a sufficient reason to break up, you must not have much feeling for him.

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    • Why should I not break up with him? Doesn't this mean that I'm not his ideal person?

    • @Summerglo Is everyone you date your "ideal" partner? Very few of us ever meet such a person. If he is dating you, there is a reason.

Most Helpful Girl

  • That doesn't mean you are not good enough for him. I am pretty sure that he cherishes you and he considers you beautiful. Also, it was an old dating profile, it's not even a recent one.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 23

  • "Oh my God, I'm not a perfect 10/10 in the eyes of my boyfriend, should I dump him?"

    Questions like these are an indication of how superficial and narcissistic people have become in recent times. What happened to actually falling in love with one's personality?

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    • He was supposedly attracted to me before he got to know me... how does that explain his preference for blondes?

    • Just because it's his preference doesn't mean he can't like anything else.

  • It doesn't necessarily mean that you aren't good enough for him, but it does mean he doesn't think you're perfect. If that upsets you enough to break up with him over, then by all means. I actually wouldn't blame you. I personally would want my partner to think I'm perfect, and I'd be hurt to if I found out she thought otherwise.

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  • How about you ask him instead of us about it? People often overlook minor details like hair colour for the ones they like.

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    • does this mean that his preferences changed? i'm just confused why he would say that I'm "hot" if I don't have the hair color he prefers...

    • Chances are they have changed. Or chances are that he still prefers it but that is what a preference is - it's when it is preferred but not necessarily. I mean the most absolute ideal hair colour for me would be dark auburn, but that doesn't mean I will dislike any other colour.

  • Sweet Jebus! You women worry over the silliest things sometimes. My preference is a brunette with dark skin. My girlfriend meets this description. If we were no longer together and a fair skinned blonde got my attention, I certainly wouldn't waste time wishing she were a brunette and I certainly wouldn't want her any less than I would if she were.

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  • The classic "am I not good enough for him?" I find so much humor at someone elses insecurities. Why bother getting into a relationship when you're insecure as fuck. He's with you. Just leave it be and if he actually does something worth confronting him for do that. Not cry about his old online dating profile. How pathetic. With your mindset you aren't good enough just because you managed to manifest such thoughts in your unstable brain.

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  • Nah, everyone has their opinion, I like redheads but that doesn't mean I only like redheads. Just a preference

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  • Have you talked to him about it?

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    • No...

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    • I think he would be creeped out by the idea that I was looking at his old dating profile.

    • Don't mention the old profile. Ask him if you are his ideal woman.

  • A brunette can become a blonde in one hour, using some shampoo

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  • Prefer just means, "in a perfect world, I would have a blonde" life however isn't perfect for anyone, & if it were what would be the point if you get everything you want. No suspense at all

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  • Are you unhappy? He's unhappy with you?
    Those are just preferences.

    May also just mea he saw sometthing more in you than just your colors, wish is good.

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  • If you weren't good enough, then he wouldn't be dating you.
    He clearly doesn't mind.

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  • he says he prefers, its not a requirement

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  • You're one of those aren't ya

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  • answer: no

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    • if he loves you, he chose you and no one else

      not because there was nothing else available, but because he wants you and no one else, and nothing will pleases more than his girl opening to him and getting bloom through the relationship together...

      just chill and savor

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    • don't forget to reassure him: you're not mad but worry

      and you need him to know that you're worry
      you need him to explain you

    • and btw: tastes aren't carved in the rock

      it changes...
      it refines...
      it vanish...
      it evolves...

      your guy might even be no longer able to be attracted to those things you saw

  • Yes, you should leave him.

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  • Just because it says that don't mean he doesn't find you attractive. He wouldn't be with you if he didn't find you attractive

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  • triggered much?

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  • Would be extremely shallow.

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  • If you feel like that do it.
    It means she didn't met you yet, he may like that type of girls that doen't mean there can't be no exception

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  • I prefer blondes too, but I'm dark haired.

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  • I preferred barbie dolls till my short thick brunette wife walked into my life

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  • I'm surprised he hasn't deleted his profile. However, he's with you now. I think it matters that he's changed.

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    • Do physical preferences change?

    • yes. maybe a little. Mine changed from strictly punk or goth girls to include normal, sporty, and nerdy girls when i went from highschool to college. I never cared for ethnicity as long as she dressed a certain way.

  • first, why is he on okcupid when he's with you?

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    • It's an old profile.

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    • Do preferences change? Why is he dating me if I'm not a blonde or white? Why does he call me "hot" if I'm brunette?

    • maybe he changed. he's your boyfriend. he loves you and your looks too.

What Girls Said 27

  • If your the first brunette girl he has ever dated, it means there is something about you that he couldnt resist so he asked you out and made you his girlfriend. He wouldn't be dating you if he didn't like you, and honestly, just because he prefers blondes over brunettes doesn't mean you have to break up with him (unless you want to) that reason/excuse of yours is just fucking stupid. Dont think so negatively about the things your boyfriend said, do you think he'd still be with you if he didn't like you? He likes you for who you are and not for what your pretending to be. If it worries you THAT much, ask him.

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  • My man likes blondes too, but i am brunette and he would still not change me for any blonde in the world, usually men say this to make you jealous, because they think it's cute -_-
    Tell me about it, who understands Men anyhow...

    Good luck <3 AND HEY i wish i was a Latina, you guys are HOT! Your man is lucky.

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  • It's just hair. I think you should be more concerned about your self worth if this is a huge concern for you. Are you a good girlfriend? Does he seem happy to be with you?

    I prefer red heads with green eyes who are really tall and skinny. Will I ever date this person? Unlikely. Would I be happy with someone who didn't meet those "preferred" standards? Absolutely.

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  • No. It means he prefers blonde hair, but he fell in love with you for who you are. Hair color really doesn't matter. My boyfriend is into brunettes and I've always had blonde hair, it's never been an issue.

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  • seriously? just because of a hair colour you would leave your bf?

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  • Means he changed his mind and open up his preferences a bit?

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  • if he loves you enough, then the hair color you have shouldn't matter. Ask yourself. Does he truly love you and care about you? Then no, don't think about hair color as that important.

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  • He thinks you're hidious, you should totally break up over that.

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  • Just talk to him about it, but his opinions have probably changed considering he's dating you

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  • It's just his preference (which everybody all has, including you) plus, it's in the past. And tbh... preference is just preference, it doesn't mean that you're not good for him. plus it's just the outside, and sometimes it doesn't mean anything, what we all want is the inside of somebody (soul, personality) So if he's really in love with you, those things are just don't matter anymore, because you're unique and everybody loves unique, even when we have preference.

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  • I wouldn't pay too much attention to the past and focus on the present. Tastes change over time and in the end, most guys prefer someone with a nice personality.

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  • No that was just his type at that time. You're still sexy to him even as a brunette. He isn't wholly biased on one hair color.

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  • It's just a preference! Even all girls prefer charming and a perfect man.. but still they stay happy with their imperfect one

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  • It's just something he prefers. It doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. If he didn't, he wouldn't date you, would he? You can just let it go but if it really bothers you talk to him about it.

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  • Oh stop that nonsense, He still choose you!

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  • That's where you guys base your love? Wow ok

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  • The key word here is 'old' he might not still feel that way

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  • Is that Mostly important?

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    • It sort of is because that means that I'll never be as good as a blonde to him.

    • Ok. First ask yourself (in your heart) I'll never be as good as a blonde. Is it important? How much is it important? And you will ask him that questions. Do u get it?

    • Now I will sleep tomorrow I gone to job in the morning take care see you tomorrow

  • No he thinks you are beautiful...

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  • I think that means you are that much awesome that you even converted him ;) And even if it is not conversion, know that he finds something so strongly appealing on you that he chooses you over any blonde. Be proud ;) And if you still feel bad about it, ask him.. he can tell you himself.

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  • no don't

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  • THAT is very rude. you should tell him that you prefer men with big cocks but you're settling for him

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  • As most other girls, I prefer brunette-haired men. This does not mean that I don't also like blonde men. I have actually liked blonde men a few times in my life. It's like preferring the color red... It doesn't mean you won't ever have anything but red on you.

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  • I put up on my profile years ago that I prefer dark haired/tan guys and am perfectly happy with my ghost pale, little mayo jar boyfriend.

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  • I like guys with black or dark brown hair. If a really nice blonde guy with a fantastic personality and we clicked would start talking with me, would I not be attracted to him? Hell no!
    Even if his preference is blondes, you probably are so amazing in other ways that he became attracted to you so much that physically it didn't matter to him!

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  • My guy prefers burnetts and I am blonde. I was worried when we got together, 11 years ago... in the end my thought was if he doesn't love me because my hair is the wrong color what am I doing? I felt bad for thinking it... How shallow am I accusing him of being? If he is so shallow surely I wouldn't have dated him in the first place! There is nothing wrong with wanting to preserve your race, however when love is true, skin color disappears.

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  • this is odd. i don't understand this

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