How to avoid guys who only want sex on dating apps?

I'm searching for a serious relationship and it's kinda pissing me off that almost all guys in dating apps only wants sex and casual relationships.
How to avoid them? I'm almost giving up on meeting a nice guys :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • #1 - accept that 99% of guys use dating apps to try to get sex. Increase that to 99.998% if it's a free app. Increase it to 100.324% if it's Tinder.

    #2 - the exceptions are mostly on PAID apps, because they're actually willing to make an effort to find love, even if it costs money.

    #3 - fill out your profile and be specific about the fact that you're looking for a relationship and NOT willing to have casual sex. Let them know that you don't have sex outside of a relationship, and that there will be a waiting period. That will filter out a sizable chunk (but certainly not ALL) of the guys just looking for sex.

    #4 - Try actually leaving the house once in a while. Go places where single guys are likely to be, and, you know, TALK to them. Even still, accept that most of them will just want sex - which is why you're TALKING to them; to figure out if they just want sex or maybe something more.

    #5 - Filter Filter FILTER! You may need to talk to 100 guys, go on 5-10 first dates, and 3-5 second dates, and 2-3 third dates, before you find a great guy to date further. That's normal - but if you keep a good sense of humor, the process can be a lot of fun, occasionally disturbing, and teach you a whole lot.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Put it in your profile, and when the topic comes up make it clear you're not looking for hookups.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 26

  • What dating apps are you using? We need to start there!

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  • Avoid dating apps meant for hookups, so no Tinder, POF, or Hot or Not. Apps that are focused on looks, are not for relationship.
    Stick to OkCupid (though there's still many who just want sex), Match, and others like that.

    If it's free, there's gonna be more guys using it for sex, because most guys aren't gonna want to pay money for a dating app in order to look just for sex.

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  • Don't use dating apps.

    Screen for guys at church, gym, social events, community events, etc...

    But dating apps are nothing more than "Pump n' Dump" apps.

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  • Don't go on dating apps. While it's entirely possible to find serious relationships and even marriage on Tinder, you're better off going to a proper dating site like OKC or POF if you want a relationship.

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  • depends on the app! if its like tinder, you can forget it cus really thats just used to get laid :p some other ones are fine tho. you have to look at how they are responding when talking to you, if they keep insisting u guys meet at their place or soemthing, they just want to get in your pants. If they actually have normal convos, i think you can be use that at the very least, they aren't just looking to fuck. The "serious relationship" thing only happens if you guys are a good fit!

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  • Not every guy wants sex, I'm sure you'll find him be patient. Um maybe set your parameters to restricted sex. Glad to hear there are women whom are giving nice guys a try👍

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  • Just take your time... relationships are about finding the right fit

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  • You can not avoid these guys no matter what app you use, they are on them all. You just need to be patient and weed them out. There are good guys out there.

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  • go to church to meet nice guys or something

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  • No one else said brought up looks, so I will. What are your physical standards for yourself vs your partner? While this isn't true of all good-looking guys, many many of the players are going to be the ones that put the most effort into "Looking good."

    Agree with the others on the use of dating sites in general. in my opinion there are two reasons someone would use a dating site: 1. They want a hookup 2. They have trouble meeting people in real life. (I. e. Why not? Are they shy? Ugly? Acidic personality? Could be any number of reasons.)

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  • You're looking for a needle in a hay stack... The other side is the same thing, even though every girl says they're not looking for a hook up on their profile.

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  • There in lies the problem, looking for men on dating apps, might as well hit the personals section in craigslist and pray for the best.

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  • Dating apps suck. Go meet a nice guy in person.

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  • Noone uses dating apps for serious relationships.

    Guys use it for quick snatch and girls use it for a quick ego boost.

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  • Play hard to get !

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  • Yeah i see this on half of the girls pages. A small tip avoid putting hate speech on the profile as it chases off a lot of them. They guys looking for sex probably aren't reading it anyway.

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    • I meant the guys not they I bumped auto correct sorry.
      I have been on pof for a few months and I find it very tiring reading profile after profile with don't message me if... Just try putting your most passionate interests and the main qualities you like in a guy. It might help speed things up a little.

  • why not try meeting someone IRL?

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  • iam gonna be honest 99% of the apps are for or sex no matter what the try to convince u , and iam waiting for u to thank me for this p ecious advice

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  • That's the only thing dating apps are for.

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  • Don't give up... just don't go on apps and meet guys offline like at school, work etc.

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  • Go to a reputable online dating company, like Eharmony and forget about those "apps".. those are just hook up apps that the bottom feeders hang out on.

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  • Then you shouldn't be choosing to use the app for relationship in the first place, smarty

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  • HAHA! Oh man, This question made me smile. So funny. It's weird how women say they don't want a fuck boy but at the end of the day, when you're reading through all those messages. You talk with the smooth talkers/Fuck boys, and just ignore the "Nice guys" (Who aren't women hating trolls who think nice deeds = pussy.).

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    • Women don't want a fuck boy after they grow out of teens, but you have to make an effort to charm her, nice guy often equates to being lazy/expecting the women to work for you, have more of a go getter attitude

    • @Aconfusedguy90 you're totally right!

    • Nice guys with attitude is the perfect combo, but it's very rare to find.

  • Get off dating apps and start living your life. Along the way you'll meet someone who is into similar things as you and you'll hit it off.

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  • you can't, there all over dating sites 😂 You could try sites that require monthly subscriptions

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  • Be very clear what you're looking for, and simply decline guys who want to get together and chill. Be really up front you want a monogamous relationship.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Oh, it's difficult to avoid them, you kind of have to check the message and then determine if the guy only wants a hookup or a fuck buddy. I feel you, I've gotten some really weird messages on dating apps. By the way, certain apps cater to different demographics. For example, most people use tinder to find a hookup while okcupid has less of that (they still exist though, just like I'm sure someone is using tinder to find a real relationship). Try to pick the optimal app for your end goals and then weed through the messages. I know on okcupid it also allows you to indicate what you are looking for (long term relationship, short term, etc.)

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  • Sadly it takes a rigorous screening process! With that said just keep trying and don't have sex with any of them for quite some time. Best of luck

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  • Simple. Do not use dating apps.

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  • Do they tell you that? Or do you go on the date and find out?

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  • Avoid dating apps.

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  • If they filled out the questions that's can sometimes mean they are seriously looking for a relationship because they took time to do that. If guys and girls could just be honest now a days with what they want it would probably be a little easier. If people are just looking for friends with benefits or FB then that should come out right away. Dating is hard and can suck!!

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  • It is hard to find a serious relationship on dating apps. It is better to write it to your profile.

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