Are most men dishonest about their intentions?

[LoloWaye]

I have no problem meeting people but I do have a problem meeting people who are honest. Just about every guy I've met since being out of highschool just wants sex. That's not bad but be straight up about it. I think I'm meeting someone that actually wants to get to know me then bam, it's either the pants have to come off or they're done talking to me. Why are people this way?

[btbc92]

I say a lot of them are. They want a sexual dating relationship but they don't bother telling you, just expect you to say yes to being their girlfriend and the next thing you know he's feeling you up or trying to. You need to open up your mouth like I always do and ask them everytime they ask you 'Hey, you want to go out on a date/ want to be my girlfriend?': Why?

That's what I do. I ask them why. I don't know them, they don't know me. Why should I should I date you? We're not even friends. Ask those important questions. BE BOLD! And if they can't stand it, tell them to move along. " Why are people this way?" Because society says it's okay to have sex outside of marriage, and whoever doesn't comply is either religious or a prude. If you're a prude, your stingy, if religious, your mentality ill. And not worth anybody's love or affection, or you're crazy because it's human nature and everybody does it. And you wonder why the world is screwed up. Stick to your values and standards. If you're unsure about this new person, why date somebody who is a stranger? Be friends first for a while. Let them know your intentions and ask them what do they expect or want out of this relationship IF you two are going to move forward. DO NOT be AFRAID to ask! Because that fear is what they use to control and use you if you're not careful. Guard your heart and mind. Not all have bad intentions, but make your intentions verbally loud and clear. They don't have to date you if they don't like it.

[btbc92]

But also just understand that society and people in general, are often dishonest about their intentions. It's not just men, there are women too who are like this. But I also say this is due to feminism as well. It's making a lot of men not be men anymore and less likely, to be honest. But at the same time, were talking about lustful men here. Real men won't lust after you for the sake of it. People get tempted, and it's normal for people to want to have sex, but there is a right time for it, and many are doing that for the wrong reasons and the wrong time.

[Anonymous]

"I think I'm meeting someone that actually wants to get to know me then bam, it's either the pants have to come off or they're done talking to me. Why are people this way?"

OK, let's think about this ^^ statement. Where is the dishonestly, exactly? You want one thing and he wants another. So when he finds out you want something different, he splits. How is that being dishonest?

Look, the underlying issue here is that the two of you want different things. How are you supposed to know he only wants sex? How is he supposed to know you have no interest in sex? You both face the same issue here. Why is he any more "dishonest" than you are?

Your assumption in all of this is that it's wrong to want to have sex. You do realize that, right?

[LoloWaye]

I state what I want in the beginning so its no confusion. He says he wants the same thing but then when it comes down to itnhe says he never really wanted it he just wanted the sex. So yeah, thats where the dishonesty is.

I don't think there's anything wrong with just esnting sex, just let a girl know from the beginning so I'm not wasting my time. If I can be honest so can you.

[Twistboy101]

People lie because people are selfish... they only care about themselves... that's why the guys you meet always want sex, it's because they only care about themselves... like you don't know how hard it is to actually put someone else first until you have to do it... ask parents who have kids, they know it's hard putting their kids first... and in a true relationship... you generally put your partner first on most occasions...

[martyfellow]

Chuckle, as I remember it high school was even more that way, no? namost of the girls who weren't 'good' were sleeping with older guys who had money to spend on them. Not a way to engender respect from guys. your own age.

It didn't get much better after high school... a little better, but not much.

There generally isn't much mutual respect between the sexes. That's not a controversial statement for the current USA, right?

[LoloWaye]

I don't use men for their koney because I have my own. And I didn't start having it until I was a junior in college. Before that everyone wanted to be my first smh.

[Rohn7]

Guys want sex, women seek validation and support.
We both lie to get what we want and its normal human behaviour.
And tbh, you should also look at yourself, if all the guys who approach you want sex, maybe its cuz they know they can get it from you, just saying

[LoloWaye]

If that was the case I would be having sex with all of them.

[plothole]

A lot of men do want sex.

But I think sometimes our actions are over scrutinized. "I think you're pretty" does not mean "im thinking about fucking you" for men any more then it does for women when they call a man handsome. There's a decent chance you would have sex with somebody who is pretty or handsome but that doesn't mean you need it.

[SteppingOnRoses]

I agree with that statement. Sometimes guys are labeled too easily

people should take more time to know each other and try to be understanding. this is valid for both sexes.

[Browneye57]

Your picker is broken.
And yeah, guys want to have sex. Girls are the keepers of sex. Guys are the keepers of commitment. Just get some of his before you give him some of yours.

[LoloWaye]

Yeah it definitely is.

[Browneye57]

Consider dating up a bit, both in status, and age. Make your intentions clear - if you're really looking for a committed relationship then hold to that. You'll find a guy with similar intentions that you'll click with. Just date a LOT, so you gain experience and ability to discern whether they're worth investing in or not. Just don't have sex with them all. Dating experience is highly valuable - casual sex with a lot of partners is not. Just skip the cock-carousel, you'll be a LOT happier. Hold out for the RIGHT guy.

[genericname85]

you see them wanting just sex doesn´t mean they lied about their intentions. maybe they wanted more but ended up not feeling enough connection for that so it ended at sex for them.
i´d say most men are honest. either that or they just won´t make direct statements.

[LoloWaye]

Well say that then instead of just cutting me off.

[genericname85]

people tend not to do that. i know it sucked. i was straight foreward about this once and she got super mad at me for it so i kind of understand why guys kind of avoid that confrontation.

[LoloWaye]

And this is exactly why I'm not fucking with guys.

[genericname85]

just don´t take it so serious. just enjoy it for the fun it is. i mean you can of course still hope that you come together and be in a relationship but it just can´t be forced. the more you chill about it, the more likely a guy might wanna stay. cause guys like chill girls.

[LoloWaye]

Oh no baby. Once I learn what it really is he's gotta go. Idc if it's fun, it's lying and disrespectful. I'm not letting thsthat ound me.

[LoloWaye]

I'll be chill once I can find someone who is honest.

[LoloWaye]

*that around me

[genericname85]

but maybe you´re prematurely ruining something that´s in development. cause if you have fun with a guy and he sticks around he might become interested into something more. most guys won´t be interested to begin with if there´s not gonnabe fun.

[LoloWaye]

My thing is, why should he get what he wants through lying for the very small possibility that he may stick around? Does that not sound disrespextdul to myself?

If it started out as just a fun thing I could understand it. But I can't see me putting my selfworth on the back burner hoping a lie turns into something real. Because then that means he's comfortable lying to get what he wants period.

[genericname85]

consider what i said first in my very first comment. how are you sure that he lied?

[LoloWaye]

If he says he wants more than just sex bur changes his mind after. I will not assume he didn't feel a connection unless he states otherwise.

[genericname85]

hmm yeah ok sure if he says he doesn´t want more it´s of course legit to straight ditch them if that´s not what you want.
i just want to add that if a guy says he doesn´t want more, that is just a statement about his current state of mind, not a definitive answer. he may change his mind for the better later on.
if not yeah of course. ditch them.

[LoloWaye]

I learned to listen to what someone says the first time. Don't hope for anyone to change their mind. That's how you get your heart broken

[LoloWaye]

I'm not one of those people who seperates feelings from sex. So if I'm laying down eith you then I'm really feeling you and can definitely see this goinf somewhere. That's why I don't do just casual relationships.

[genericname85]

oh you mean you fall easily then? yeah i understand... that sucks. i guess guys try not to fall fast, cause it hurts. i personally may take years to know if i "really" want her.

[LoloWaye]

Yeah unfortunately. If I didn't then maybe I could enjoy hook up culture. But it's not my thing.

[genericname85]

but i really don´t understand how one can fall so fast. i mean you can´t possibly know enough about them to be that emotional about them already right?
like when i´m ready to have sex with her, i only know her very little... very little of course as in compared to how much i need to know about her in order to wanna stay with her.

[LoloWaye]

I'm not in love with the guy if that's what you mean. But if I like him I'm going to want to continue to date him and get to know him. When I want to have sex with him I am developing feelings for him and I feel comfortable enough to have sex with him because he likes/is starting to like me too. Having sex with a stranger isn't appealing to me.

[genericname85]

no of course sex with a stranger isn´t good. but i think it´s also not the nicest thing in the world for him to realize that he had sex with you and now he doesn´t want more. it happened to me too. like you want to get closer to the girl but it´s just not happening emotionally. it´s really frustrating.

[LoloWaye]

Yes it is.

[Anonymous]

I'm never dishonest about my intentions but I may not be direct about them because in my experience it only ruins my chances. Just going for sex is like skipping foreplay and women need foreplay physically and emotionally.

Being straight up with it benefits you but it's shooting ourselves in the foot. I wish it wasn't like that because I'm very direct but it is and we won't fight reality at our own expense.

[LoloWaye]

Shit it's at my expense too.

[Opinion Owner]

Ever heard the saying "better you than me"?

[ziggyb4]

It's not that we want to be dishonest. it's more so that the girls we want to smash don't usually go for "I'm just looking for sex and nothing more." The response to statements of that nature are usually what starts the misogynistic names (mostly aimed at men). If a girl is ok with that I feel that there's a way for you to express that openly, yet, still remain discreet about it. It's kind of like a double edged sword.

[LoloWaye]

It's okay to only want sex. I don't see a problem with that. I just hate believing it's going to be something else when the guy knows damn well it won't. Like don't waste my time.

[ziggyb4]

I absolutely agree.

[Mesonfielde]

Nobody is honest. Regardless of physical sex. If it's not worth for you to be honest, then you lie. It's the logical thing to do, and that's why people do it.

[LoloWaye]

Yeah. It's terrible.

[genericname85]

i agree with @Mesonfielde. + you gotta see that those guys who would lie to get sex don´t get sex without it. if women wouldn´t always bind the condition of having a relationship to having sex, they wouldn´t be forced to lie to get the thing they want. so basically by making that condition you force people to lie, cause most girls don´t want sex like that and most guys want sex like that so there´s a general conflict of interest that can´t be solved by other than lying.

[LoloWaye]

@genericname85 But that's wrong. There are plenty of women who are willing to have sex. Lying when it's at my expense is fucking terrible. Exactly why I'm not interested in men.

[LoloWaye]

@genericname85 just find soneone who wants that. Because then I have to deal with being used snd all those negative feelings due to someone's selfishness

[genericname85]

no i disagree with you there. onlyv ery little women are openly willing to have casual sex (or any sex that doesn´t force a relationship). men have huge trouble finding girls like this.

[genericname85]

of course it is wrong ^^ i agree with that part.

[tyber1]

@genericname85 I have to agree with him here, it is way, WAY harder for the typical guy to find casual sex than women realize it is, whereas girls who want to be treated to dates are a dime a dozen. It's not difficult to figure out why guys are lying when nobody wants them when they're being honest.

[genericname85]

@tyber1 couldn´t have said that better. it´s basically the opposite paradigm. girls have a hard time finding guys who want a relationship, cause all guys just wanna fuck while guys have a hard time finding a girl to fuck, cause all girls just want a relationship.

[LoloWaye]

@tyber1 its a sad reality.

[tyber1]

@LoloWaye yes it is, for both sides.

[Anonymous]

I really can't wait till woman drop that stupid shit about : he only want for the sex... That shit is getting old and was always false and will always be false.

T'ill then i'm going for men at least they want sex AND a relationship. Lucky for me that I am bi

[JSmith925]

This is a sign of the times and has very little to do with you other than you are attractive.
~JSmith

[JSmith925]

By the way, I couldn't agree with you more about Trump. God I want that man gone. I'm not sure Pence will be better but he could not be much worse!
~JSmith

[3timesaday]

I think we kinda need to be to some point. But I don't pretend to like women so I can get sex. I'll go along time between partners because I'm not attracted emotionally to the prospects plus it's a lot more satisfying with someone you care about.

[Prof_Don]

How long are u dating this guys before they give the "sex or we're done" ultimatum?

[Prof_Don]

It does sound to me like you are SCARED of getting used for sex. It is possible for a guy to like you AND want to have sex as well.

[LoloWaye]

Thats usually past the month and a half- 2 months mark.

I have been used for sex before and it sucks. I feel extremely shitty. I know it's possible to like someone and want to have sex with them because duh, I've done that. That's when I had sex before the 2 months mark.

[hahahmm]

A study found that 70% of men and women are cheaters. So, yes.

[BertMacklinFBI]

don't brand all guys, the ones you met are just horny and have an agenda.

[es20490446e]

Once they get something of what they wanted, then they start considering if the rest is good enough or not.

[eagle1951]

because most men these days are only thinking with their dick

[Regular1]

Maybe every guy you meet thinks that sex is all you're good for.

[SpartanMEC777]

Because some men just live for sex it's stupid.

[Zk15224]

Not all guys are like this.

[chris_987]

Well life is what you make it

[TheUglyMonk]

It depends where you meet them.

[Crankor]

Are most? i'd say yes

[Enrique342]

There are lonely that's why

[xAronx]

cause you are likely seeking the wrong man.

[AleDeEurope]

Nope.

[Abdullah5426]

no I'm not

[Anonymous]

I know I am.