Girls, Kpop troubles with my girlfriend. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

So I've been dating this girl for a while and I really really like her. I love her. But I have a problem. She's really REALLY into these Kpop guys. I'm not sure how I should feel. On one hand she's with me and these men are on the other side of the world but on the other she's saying things like "oh I wish he'd grind on me. That'd be a dream come true." Or "god he's so damn sexy. I'd love to ride his thighs." But they make her extremely happy. And that's what I want for her. And lately when I come around with my confidence issues, and insecurities and compare myself to these men my feelings get hurt and when I want reassurance she gets mad and tells me "I'm with you. They don't even know I exist" and that's true but it doesn't change the fact I'm hurt right? I just feel inferior to them. I don't know I have no where else to turn. Someone help me out please. Is this normal? What should I do?

[DairyCow]

I sympathise with you.
You're insecure. You know that. Whatever. That's for you to work on. And you know she's a normal human being and is attracted to other people but she loves you. It stings, and it hilights all the things you don't like about yourself. I know how you're feeling. I was in the same boat regarding my guy and porn.
But it's NOT okay for her to say those things and swoon over them in front of you. Especially after knowing it upsets you.
To me, she sounds very immature and you need to confront her about it firmly. Tell her that you don't feel like your feelings matter to her when she does this and bloody hell, it's not going to kill her to just shut her mouth about it when you're around. It's okay to swoon over other people. But it's not okay to hurt your boyfriend.

[Asker]

But see that's my problem. She's so happy when she talking about them. It's a big part of her life. Not just the idols but the music. And I don't want to make her feel bad for liking Kpop or being herself. I don't want her to shut her mouth about something that brings her happiness. I want to be a part of it.

[DairyCow]

There's nothing wrong with liking the music.
I like Trey Songz. I think he's hot and I like his music. But when my guy is around, I don't go on about how much I'd love to be the girl in his music videos. Honestly, that doesn't even cross my mind. I just enjoy his music and think he's attractive.
You have every right to ask her to refrain from gushing about them around you. Every right. You'd have to be out of your mind to not think it's okay to tell your girlfriend if it upsets you.
If you want to be part of it, embrace the music. Listen to the stuff and talk with her about the band members with her if she wants, but cut the conversation short if she starts talking about them in a way you don't like. It's okay for her to even say she finds them attractive, but stating that she'd love to have sex with them and all that around you isn't cool.

[Asker]

Well thank you.

[shigatsu]

im hella into kpop too. there is a definite difference between a real life loved one and admiring an idol. dont feel inferior! if she cared more about kpop idols than you should wouldn't be dating you. you obviously have a place in her heart and im sure the more affectionate/intimate you two become the less she'll focus on k-idols

[Anonymous]

being a kpop fan i can understand how she feels , it must be hard for you too but don't worry it's just her interest, she just admires those guys as her idols. you shouldn't really worry about it , just focus on her and maybe get her jealous with the celebs you admire loll

[Anonymous]

Cheer up dude she's with you