Why don't girls ask questions in return?

[Anonymous]

So I have been on dating sites for a while now, and there is one thing that I have found to be strangely consistent with the women I have talked to. When I ask a question about them or their interests, I get an answer back which is great but only the answer. I have yet to talk to a women that has asked any questions about me in return. I'm not rude, inconsiderate, or self obsessed, I am genuinely interested about knowing more about them and seeing if we have common interests. Generally I would consider a conversation of that nature to be reciprocal especially in this context. I tend to think that if a lady replies a few times (passing the politeness threshold of course) That she has even a small amount of interest in me, but I could be wrong. I don't think, it's necessarily them being rude, but more to the idea that maybe somehow it has become expected in online dating society for the guy to make the main effort and maintain the conversation. (Strictly speaking in terms of man messages girl)

I'm simply curious what other women have to say on this topic, do you consider this strange as well or completely normal. And guys It would be good to hear if you have any similar stories or experience the same thing.

[AmanoYin]

Two answers to this question.
One is that people are brought up thinking guys must all do certain things and guys are like this or that. And that girls must do certain things and all girls are like this or that. It's immature for a guy or girl to expect another guy or girl to be a person yet that person is based on their social views, because it leads to girls not feeling like they have to show their interest or ask questions or even make the first move. That is, IF they are interested.

OR maybe they aren't interested, and you should try changing to have more open honest conversations, not just "what kind of movie do you like" but maybe something you feel like "I used to be open with people as a young child but now I'm a bit shy? Do you feel the same way?" As long as you can say this with confidence then you're good.

[Asker]

That is very different way to approach this question. It honestly has given a unique perspective toward the matter, thank you.

[hannibalx]

i have also experienced this in the past using tinder and the like, the question that comes to mind is why do they match you, if they are not interested? i do seem to find that chatting up pretty girls to get even a simple hello, you need a creative pickup, else you get ignored. I am not a 10 tho, more like a 6,5—7

[Asker]

Not to place either gender into any boxes but especially on apps like tinder I have to agree. Not saying that even the best pick up artist in the world doesn't fail, but physical attraction on dating sites does carry as significantly heavier weight. I think people sometimes judge their next potential partners attractiveness on their exs. If they considered their ex an 9 because he was ripped, tall, and tan then they sometimes expect the next to be better, and this goes for guys to. It's good to know though that other people have experienced this. Thanks for your reply

[Girlie15]

Very few times have I experienced a conversation where I have had to ask all the questions (Thank God). Usually it ends very quickly when that happens because it's boring and feels like he's not interested at all.

I do ask questions in return most of the time. And If I don't it's because the guy doesn't have good grammar or has a tasteless choice in words. For example "Ok." That's fine if it's kept to a minimum but I've seen it happen almost after every thing I say. "ok" gives me nothing to reply back to so why do I need to try harder when he doesn't either?

If the guy is exciting then that will bring the excitement out of me, too.

[Asker]

That is a fair call and a great response, thank you.

[Girlie15]

no problem

[witherwing]

I don't ask questions from people I'm not interested in, because I don't want to ask something I don't genuinely want to know. I do answer questions to be polite, though.

[Asker]

Oh I totally agree, it is genuinely difficult to say you're not interested in somebody who has taken their time, effort and courage to send you a message. Hence why some people don't say anything at all, but at the same time I personally would rather a person just say openly " thank you very much but I'm not interested" it hurts and sucks, but necessary. Plus saying that to me personally stops my anxiety from turning my brain into a million "what ifs". Thank you for your answer though :)

[VerbalWN]

I've come across that situation way too often. I'm starting to think women that do that. We're never really interested. And are hoping you will eventually leave them alone.

[Asker]

Can't help but feel the same, but you try to hold on to hope. Thanks for your great reply mate

[deraz24]

If I was interested I would converse back

[Asker]

I to would think the same thing. I will give an example of a conundrum I'm facing with this particular question in mind. I have been talking to a girl where this situation has been occurring, she gives great concise responses but no question. I am looking for a relationship and she seeks marriage, so needless to say she is pretty serious about her intentions. When I asked to add her on Facebook as a mild step forward ( as I felt it was too soon for a phone number) she accepted and so on. Any ideas on that situation?

[deraz24]

Just keep talking to her until otherwise, some response is better than none I guess

[Asker]

I would agree with that :) thanks for you reply