Well it all depends on how open minded he is. Some easy ways to tell if he is open minded is asking your self, "Is her serious most of the time or does he joke around a lot?" If he's serious most of the time that often he takes life in general pretty seriously but that's a simple question you can ask yourself and it usually is in the ball park. They are also very, VERY controlling culture when it comes to their wives and by the sounds of it, sounds like you're living with him already I assume? Probably relatively quickly after beginning the relationship. Chances are within five to six months will be the earliest, he'll propose a year at the latest, they don't normally date for fun they date because they can see themselves being married to them. Depending on if he is a dominant guy and how dominant he is will also depend on if he "allows" you to leave and go do things when he's not home/working etc. But that's normal to their culture he more than likely allow it but the manners and politeness to them is often shown by asking permission since women don't have a whole lot of rights because keep in mind Muslim wives whether you convert to it before or after you get married is something you two will need to talk about together and if he's leaning more towards close minded he will definitely have you convert. He was more than likely raised in Lebanon and not here in America so Muslim wives typically need to ask for permission to leave the house out of respect here in America but out of law back in their homeland. Also if he chose to come to a specific state other than because of family could also help determine how open minded he is if he's into politics. More conservative voting states will incline him to act more conservative because like all humans we adapt to our environment within reason to our own beliefs and morals. I know here in America it's normally ok to court with more than one person at a time if you take it at a normal pace but they all typically move very fast over there, same as here though I suppose. The guys who end up saying I love you very quickly can see themselves marrying you and for someone like myself, only the right girl got me to do get my shit in order. Soul mate's encourage and motivate each other to do what is in their best interest even if it means parting ways with them forever. But Muslims are a lot like Catholics, there are always exceptions and some do get divorced but if he's already saying I love you and you do get married
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First of all you need to be open minded and understand that there will be a huge cultural difference whether he's more westernized or not. Also typically Muslim people are recommended to marry other Muslims so if you're serious then talk to him about your future and how your religious differences will play out. If it's not serious relationship which it doesn't sound like it is then it's not a big deal just be chill. I'm a Muslim man myself and my woman is Muslim because it's important to me and we both have the same values and are compatible in every sense. At the end of the day you need to make sure this is really what you want as it won't be easy for either of you to adjust especially when it comes to meeting the family (this goes both ways - I doubt your family would be excited to meet your Muslim man because let's face it western society believes in the stereotypes that we are bad and just look at the responses to this question to prove my point further) anyways just have a talk with him and establish your boundaries early on and what you both want from this relationship.
Just because he is drinking or having sex now, does not mean that he will put you or anything else before his religion and family. I've dated even lived with a muslim.
I also have muslim friends and have heard the things they do and say about the non muslim girl they are "dating." To him you are just a sex object to keep him company. Nothing more nothing less. They will refer to you as "the slut" or "the whore" to their friends.
As soon as he is ready to get married and be serious you will be thrown away as if nothing ever happened. Doesn't matter if you were with him 1 year or 10. Doesn't matter if you lived together, what he said to you that you wanted to hear, etc. No matter what you do, you will never be a woman of his heritage and he would never actually marry you bc his family will never accept you.
He will act "head over heels," so in love," and tell you everything you would want a man to say, but it means nothing. They are taught that women are different and they learn what to say to make women feel good. That makes it that much worse the day he throws you away to marry another muslim when you thought "he loved you so much."
No amount of love will get him to marry and introduce you to his family. No amount of love will ever come before his religion. The lies will sound so true and sweet, but they are simply lies.
Run away. Run far away. Just google what happened to other women if you don't believe me. I personally know two women who even made it as far as marriage thinking they were "so in love and happy," only for them to wake up with divorce papers and see their husband immediately with a new wife. One that their family and religion will accept. No one can crush your heart more bc they lie and tell you what you want to hear so well
Listen if your not looking to follow God, then don't claim you're a Christian it gives the rest of us a bad name. He's going to want to have sex with you before marriage, and possibly might be forced to make you convert if marriage. That is what happened to a close friend of mine and she went through hell with him. You do NOT want to get involved with a non-practicing Muslim. Because intentions from what YOU are looking for is far more important than what he is looking for. Because that is how she ended up in that trap in the first place. You need to have a solid foundation in God. It's is imparitive. Know your Bible. Know what God commands for us to live in our lives. He should not be having sex before marriage. But many non-practicing Muslims sleeps around. But expects a virgin wife, or they are forced to an arranged marriage to a Muslim woman from the counrty their families come from. And yes, she is expected to be a virgin. Some of them have a twisted thinking that Western women are good for sex and are whores only, while Muslime women are expected to be pure. Don't know why you aren't focused on the Lord, but if you have no desire to be Christian, just be honest and don't pretend. But if your backsliding, you better get back to God. Or else you will face a lot of wishy-washy answers, and those sweet nothings being told in your ear, you know like a lot of men do today to get you open for sex and desire them. And that's what you will deal with. But somebody who is like him, non Practicing, not a virgin and drinks is extremely risky, just like those professing Christian and does every single secular things are risky. Because not only are they not focusing or showing care for their salvation, but their also putting your salvation at risk. It's not worth it.
I can't simply answer this question like that. You have to tell me how he thinks, how his family is, how he acts etc.
There are many things that can come into play, and they all can lead to different things.
Islam allows men to marry Jewish and Christian women AND NO he isn't supposed to force you to convert to islam. BUT this is the islamic theory of course. I don't know how it will turn into practise, because many Muslims violate the principles of islam, including the ones who will force their wife to convert.
Personnally, I have a few family members married to non Muslims. My uncle has been married to a french woman for more than 15 years and she is not Muslim and he never forced her to convert.
My Dad's cousin has been married to a french woman for 40+ years and she isn't Muslim either (but her, who are now over 25 kids are).
I personnaly have never ever come across families that forced the non Muslim woman to convert. I come from a conservative Muslim family, but my family is educated and not poor. So I think those factors are very important to determine how your Muslim boyfriend will turn out.
Just one important notice: Don't give him sex easily, pleaaaase. Some Muslim men in the west sleep around with white women because they are easier to smash than Muslim women, but then they leave them for a Muslim woman when it comes to marriage. Of course, this is not systematic at all, but there are many fuckboys around so be careful.
I would even advice you to delay sex as much as possible to be sure. Don't be easy.
Well. I am Muslim myself, I dated Arab Muslim guys and western guys I have a question, WHERE IS HE FROM? that makes a huge difference, because it is not only the religion that is restricted, it is their way of thinking and calculating things culturally depending on where do they come from? if he is an Arab that would make a big difference than maybe anything else.
My Muslim Arab brother is married to a Russian girl, and I can tell you, he was honest with her, loved her, and married her, BUT, he just changed her, she can't smoke on the street, talk to other men, go out alone, no more clubs, she really loves him, and he does her, but you will need to adapt to his cultural boundaries IN HIS HEAD not even only being at his home country..
In the Arab world, the man has the authority and the power, and he will make that clear just when things start to get serious, they dont like being yelled at, or even argued a lot, because THEIR women from their own cultural do not do that because they are used to the male dominated kind of culture (Even me) ,, so from my experience, many non Arab women can not translate or get that.
Take what I said in consideration, I know better, I am Arab Muslim, and I am more reliable on that!
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I was the boyfriend of a non-practicing Muslim woman, so the situation is different (I also know several families where a Western non-Muslim married a Muslim), but I would say that you should expect that either he or his family may want you to convert to Islam. I've seen this even where the Muslim did not practice their religion, or ony superficially.
Is he mostly non praticing? you said he drinks.
Does he pray 3 times a day.. and does he eat pork?I was in a relationship with a muslim. You need to know a few things.
Islam places a huge emphasis on getting married. Not marriage per se, but being married, as the goal of islam is growth and getting married is the only acceptable route for kids. So it's not uncommon that they would rush a relationship so they can get married and grow the umma.
Many muslim men will date a western woman for the sexual experience, only to ditch her and marry a virgin muslim girl from back home. That wasn't the case with my relationship, but it's not uncommon. So be aware.
There is a common pattern with most muslim man/western woman relationships and it is thus. In the beginning they are very charming and appear lenient. Then as a the relationship gets serious they'll become more conservative and they will gradually expect that she adhere to islamic customs, such as not eating pork or dressing more conservatively. My ex for instance, insisted after 3 years of being together, that I stop wearing short sleeve shirts!
Lucky for me, my ex showed his cards early, as a lot of these muslim guys don't show their islamic side until after you get married or even worse, after you have children. That isn't to say they can't be genuinely sweet. But when in a bind, they will always follow their religion first.
Due to the islamic views on women, there is no such thing as compromise. It's his way or the highway. I believe this is a big reason why a lot of times, these muslim guys won't show their islamic side until after marriage, when they hold all the power.
So if you ever find yourself losing your soul just so you won't disrespect him or his religion, just let go. The fact that you believe it's moving too fast is a sign. Always listen to your gut.Okay listen to me love. What Im going to say could be important, or it could be very against your opinions and what you were looking for, so if thats the case, feel free to throw away what Im about to say. Its ultimately your life and as an adult, you hold the choices and decisions to make to shape up yourself.
I am an arab girl who lives in the US. I have both cultures embedded in me, and I have seen both cultures.
Muslim men - of all types (the ones who follow religion, the ones who dont, the ones who do sometimes and other times forgets it) are culturally bound. They were brought up with it (more likely than not) in their households, even in countries abroad. a lot of arab men are very good at romanticizing a woman and show her how much of a gentleman he can be. This can be very deceptive though.
They are allowed to marry 4 times, so the chances of being cheated on significantly increases, and you can't say anything about it. Arab men like to be dominant... and no this is not a generalization for a few... it is the stigma and culture we are brought up with. Men, are dominant in everything, and what they say goes. If you happen to have found one who lets you make decisions and lets you be free, then you may have found a good guy. But you need to be careful when it comes to arab men, love. Not all of them are honest. And this goes for any religion or race, but I just want to stress that you have to be a bit careful about what his true intentions are. Asking won't lead you anywhere. He can lie, and act, and be deceptive. So you have to pay attention to his actions.
As for how for how to not offend him... dont bring up religion... no matter what. It will make him go into defensive mode if you bring up christianity. Respect his views about his religion. Dont insult his views.
I am a christian arab by the way.Well ask him, he is the one who is interested in you. According to islam a muslim can marry any one "of the book" i. e. Christian, jew, or mulsim without issue. However it depends on what kind of muslim he is and where he is from, if he is Turkish they tend to be more lax then in the middle east (I know a Turkish muslim and he was much the same way he drinks and he did not wait for marriage to have sex) so that will also determine what he is more likely to believe. But its best to ask him find out what he wants what he expects from the relationship etc. also let him know that you want to take things slow as their are cultural religious differences and you don't want to do something wrong and you don't want to feel pressured into things etc. (but let him know your interested and willing to try if he is willing to let you go at your own pace). The fact is him being muslim isn't really that big of a deal, its more culture, how long has he been here (the longer he has been in the west the more likely he will have taken on some of its culture and practices) and him personally (not all muslims are alike obviously) so its something you should sit down and discuss with him, communication is the foundation of a strong relationship after all so why not start with that.
Hi. I suggest you find out which branch of the Muslim religion he follows and then go online and do some research. I've learned that the Muslim religion is very male-centric. Is he Eastern or Western Muslim? That may impact how he treats women. I haven't heard many good things about that. Also you may want to do a Google search on him. I'm not saying that because he is Muslim, I Google every woman I get involved with, it will give you some idea of his past.
And buy yourself a copy of the Quran. If you decide that this is the person you want to be with your going to have to learn to read, write, and speak in the language of the Quran. As well as convert to his religion. If he is as committed to his beliefs as you say, your life is going to change. For now you probably should just be yourself. That seems to be the person he likes, so don't change it. That is my nice advise.
Deep in my heart my advice for what you should now about dating a Muslim guy is DON'T. Go online and see what other ladies experiences have been.Well, i used to have a boyfriend that muslim and i think its kinda hard for us to be together. His family didn't really like me because im christian and i didn't want to change my religion if i get married with him. And im kinda wear clothes that "short and open" for their taste. But i think its actually not really open when im just wearing a casual shorts. So I don't know, maybe he's different. But my ex boyfriend was nice but kinda strict. And his parents more strict and kinda pressure our relationship thats why we broke up
I am a Muslim, the comments and the question itself is disrespectful. Why do you even care about his religion when he is a non practising muslim? He drinks and isn't a virgin, his religion has nothing to do here any guy who drinks and sleeps around must be a heads up to you that's common sense. There's no real difference in him and any other guy out there, make your choice by judging his personality not his religion like you would do before getting into a relationship with any other guy from any race religion. Even if he shocks or surprises you it is a request not to blame his religion but him and his alcohol and your choice of getting in a relationship with someone who is a more non Muslim because muslims aren't into alcohol and would never disrepect a woman. Good luck:)
Be wary of this Fast Acting, Fast Talker, He probably Wants... Marriage. They will also tell you their own
Kind of girl" is Not for them.
A Muslim Man had Once Found me on Facebook and the Next thing you know, This "Practicing Christian" was Off and Running to Cairo, Where on my next Trip, We tied the Knot at the Ministry of Justice. I resided there for Awhile, but I seldom did Smile. A lot to Endure for Sure in their own Family Here, dear.
Think Twice about being so Nice, Eventually Controlling.
PS: When any problems, That is when they throw it up to You "You American girls are not Like the ones here."
Arse backwards.
Good Luck. xxA lot of idiots on here giving their little racist Fox News agenda on Muslims and these posters/commentators portray themselves as God's gift... Oh wait, I forgot, those posters/commentators bashing Muslims don't even believe in God, they assume they have this infinite will to live like some sort of Marvel Avenger lmao.
Listen take it from me, a guy who is Muslim. If he loves you and cares about you he will make things work. This is 2017, not 1977, old traditions don't always work. I told my parents openly that while I follow Islam, I don't mind marrying a Christian or Catholic girl and raising my kids properly. I have dated Muslim girls who were bitches (I know there are great Muslim girls out there), maybe I've had bad luck but I'm giving you my input. But you guys have to talk about your religious views and see if that will clash or not.I will vote against it cuz
1) First your parents are not going to allow it
2) You clearly not respect his religion or believes in him
3) You may marry him but someday, something is going to pop up and you are going to fight over it like the "Kids religion".
4) You don't believe in him or his religion, so dump him and let him find a good girl.
5) If he can't have problem with your religion then you should return the favour but I know, what you are doing here so byeee.
6) If you are thinking about anything serious then, He will judge you and will try to make you stay cuz He will be family oriented.
7) That being said, I am personally asked out may times but local girls but I always say "NO" cuz I don't want my life to be chaos, but She won't waste any sec calling me racist... not pure enough like stuff you read here and it shows her mentality before asking me out. I thank GoD it saved me from her.There really isn't enough information to tell you about what to expect. I'm Muslim, and I know a lot of western non-practicing Muslims. Based on what you're saying, that guy is not an observant Muslim, and may identify as one because his parents are. My question is, does he pray at least 5 times a day? What about fasting during Ramadan, or in Mondays and Thursdays?
What's more important is not just religious compatibility, but cultural compatibility. Even among Muslims, people of varying levels of adherence would never date/marry each other.Okay well first of all am a Muslim and Arabian , in my opinion dating a Muslim, Christian, atheist whatever his respective belief is the same dear if you feel uncomfortable about the pace things are going between you then say so!!! I admire that you are considerate of your partner feeling and his faith and religion but don't forget yourself and how you feel so be a bit selfish would yea dear tell him what you want how you feel. after all, every good relationship "in my opinion " is always based on good communication and understanding , I for myself wouldn't like my girl to always perform things she ain't comfortable with for my sake.
Muslim here that is exactly like your guy. I also drink and have sex. Lets call this kind of muslims "Modern muslims".
The only thing you should pay attention to is food then: Simply dont go to a restaurant with him where ONLY pork or bacon is served (if that even exists). Also dont serve him food at home that has pork or bacon in it. And never lie about not bacon being in there. IF it happened that he ate pork, he will feel bad or annoyed. You can calm him down by saying "but isn't it fine for god if you didn't know? I heard he will count it as if didn't happen. Ask a chaich (muslim priest) if you dont believe me."
Other than that, if he IS a modern muslim, there is nothing else you should be paying attention to.im friends with a girls whos dad is muslim and mother is christian. from what i see of the relationship, even if the dad married a christian, he still in a way against it, forcing islam on his daughter, to the point of cutting of people who might teach her christianity and even forcibly taking any gift/object that's related to it. (bibles, purity rings, etc) For all i know, he doesn't beat up his wife or kid, though he is very controlling. And he also plans to get his daughter into an arranged marriage, even if his wife says no. everyones different, just be weary of this guy
If he doesn't practice his religion then he's pretty much like any other guy, but keep in mind that his parents may be more strict depending on how religious they are themselves.
Also make sure to respect his beliefs/religion and don't make fun of them/disrespect them. Which is what u should do with pretty much any person with different beliefs than yours.
A big factor can also be the place where he comes from and whether he's lived (or studied) in a western country and the amount of time he's spent there. Cuz Muslims that have been in a western country can be more open minded and have a different lifestyle and way of thinking than Muslims who have spent all their lives in an Arab country. *assuming he's from an Arab country*
Another thing is be prepared for a huge cultural difference
There are traditions and values that are to be met in the Arab and Muslim culture and those are not too strict on western women but if he's more of a traditional person then be prepared for itRead the Qur'an in full and (if the guy is practicing), you'll know for sure.
Read 3 chapters/day and you'll finish the entire thing in 3 months, if I memory serves me correctly.
Otherwise, you'll rely on people who don't like Islam who dissuade with the best of their knowledge (plus things that may not be true, due to honest lack of knowledge, misunderstandings, or pure lies from Islamophobia). Or you'll be swayed by Muslims who understandably will want to put their faith in a good light (maybe even to the point of تقیة '"taqiyyah", essentially lying to non-believers) or you may fall to one trying to convert you into their fold. Both sides will only tell you what is convenient to them, all under the constraint of what they know, what they think they know, and personal interpretation.
So, it's best to find out for yourself, get info from both sides to see a fuller picture, but still take both sides' words with a grain of salt.As a muslim girl i will give you my take on it. A muslim dating probably won't make it public and keep it a secret for as long as they can. So there may not be couple pictures of you two posted online on like instagram or facebook. A muslim will also not introduce you to their family especially if you are not a muslim. Also might not introduce you to their friends, maybe only very close friends. If a muslim gets caught dating by their parents they will be forced to break up. Its not that he does not love you its just that there are certain religious reasons. This applies to both muslim guys and girls
Found myself in the same situation. I have a blood related aunt who married an Indonesian Muslim man and some of my cousins are also following the faith after my aunt willingly converted from being a Catholic whilst some converted to become a Catholic. I've come to understand that if no problems have arised, you shouldn't be worrying about them. When the time comes, I know that the guy I'm currently dating and I will deal with the issue. I've already made it known to him that I'm catholic thinking that he wouldn't want to continue the relationship but it hasn't changed anything between us. I get that I'm still young and he's two years older than me but I feel as if I'm ready to begin my first "nearly there relationship" with this guy who has a different faith from me.
Depends on "mislim from where" i guess, Bangladesh and Indian ones tend to be a bit more open aas opposed to Pakistani Muslims, If rased in any other more western country than its basically normal, They do tend to get more emotional though, i guess if you're serious, then only issue might be parents as most muslim parents prefer to not let their son marry out of their religion and might not accept you at first. other than that, you'd know him better. Being from a mostly muslim based country, I'm open to answer any other questions you may have.
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