At least in my experience, I dated a younger guy and he moved on to the next girl pretty quickly... as in he didn't wait to end our relationship before moving on to the next. I just think it's younger guys who don't like commitment, which is understandable. They're young and they want to live life. There are girls like this too.
But reading all the comments here remind me of why I'm not dating anymore. People are quick to assume one-description-fits-all of either sex.
Every man wants to commit, but not everyone wants the terms that you want... And by nature they are not design to obey the rules of the "general" society. Even then if you want to stick to your terms i think that you will find some men that agree with you, not only in the beginning but for the rest of your lifes.
And we said our opinion, but you don't want our opinion because it's not congruent with yours. You want somebody that tells you what you want to ear and we can see that in your most "helpful guy".
Lots of guys will keep playing around until they find what they're looking for. Some guys will never stop playing around or maybe can't coz they're addicted to it. Lots of men don't wanna lose what they call "freedom" when they commit. I think a good girlfriend would make the guy feel like he still can do his own thing and he doesn't have to do everything with her/ or be with her most of the time. I think the girl should have her own time with her gfs too. Commitment is not for everyone. Those who can't commit should realize it and know it very well that can't settle down on one girl, therefore, they should inform the girl before anything starts, and let her know that he's not looking for a serious thing.
I feel it's this stereotype thint that's always going on and I get what you mean about not generalizing. It's like if a girl decided to go around getting as many men in her boat she's a whore, slut, hoe and whatnot. Why I do not know why some men cannot commit, maybe it's that theur afraid or they feel they should conform to a "males behaviour" or they just don't want at all and are just trying to waste a girls time by staying in the relationship
Wow that's both sexist and contradictory. So sleeping around is "male behavior"? So then why did you also state that its unfair that a woman who sleeps around is shamed for the behavior? I mean women don't sleep around because you just said its male behavior, so which is it something that both genders do or something that men do? statistically most men don't sleep around, also statistically men are actually happier when in a relationship and when married then when they are single and "sleeping around". The reason why men don't "want" commitment is because commitment is just commitment for them. See he has to ask her out, he has to chauffer her around, he has to plan dates, he has to pay for dates, he has to provide a home, he has to provide her with food, he has to provide for their children etc. etc. What is she doing? She is not paying, not planning and now thanks to modern society, she is not nurturing she is not doing house work she is not cooking etc. That's why they don't want it
Women don't give anything in return so its not worth the effort anymore. They have to be real picky about whom they commit to or they end up with a lot of responsibilities and no benefits (hell women are less likely to have sex with them inside a relationship so they can even get sex outside of a relationship easier then they can in it which is sad.).
@hellionthesagereborn Haha, Why do you always present your own ideas as statistics? To be accepted? Women are not programming to do housework. All works has to be shared. You are also sexist. I agree with you sleeping around is not male behavior, by the way. She just want to say society think it is males behaviour, because she used quotation mark
Wow thank you @Heimatlosigkeit I don't know how to put it better
@hellionthesagereborn I didn't say it's males behaviour as heima said I used quotation marks to show that it's not what I think but rather how it is perceived through society. And you also put females in their stereotype of just bringing food and having sex. Things are changing and not every single woman is letting a man do all that stuff you said. JLo said "I ain't your mama". Again as Heima said, women are not programmed to do housework same as a man is not programmed to having to be the only provider.
@Heimatlosigkeitwww.telegraph.co.uk/.../...or-meals-on-a-date.html I don't pass off my opinions as facts, I pass off facts as facts. Just because you don't like what they say doesn't change anything, I presented you with multiple scientific peer reviewed studies in our other discussion, whether or not you wish to believe them or not is up to you, reality will continue being what it is.
No I did not stereotype women, I stated that women do not provide anything any more because society has told women that men owe them, that apparently everything is on the man she can do as she pleases and he has to keep to his traditional role. Now women do have natural tendencies towards certain behaviors, just like men, but our society shames men who deviate from the traditional role, but then shames them simply for being men meanwhile women are told they are owed everything. He has to pay, she doesn't have to give sex, he has to be romantic, she doesn't have to be nurturing etc etc. So everything is on the shoulders of men. Women do not respect men, men have always respected and even reveried women (you see it in art, you see it in writing you see it in media and day to day existence). Its one sided and that's why we have MGTOW, men who just don't want to deal with women any more. Its sad that this is happening yet women still cannot get off their pedestal to see what they are doing
@hellionthesagereborn Yes, I did say. It is traditional gender roles. We don't have to do that. Paying is not male responsibility, Cooking is not female responsibility. Existentialist feminism says We do not have to do anything we do not want based on our gender. The future in our hands.
Suit your needs, you accept traditional gender roles exist, by the way.
I hear you but personally I don't stand in believing that a relationship is one sided. I think that it is both ways and so if a women is vulnerable he can be vunerable, if she wants to cook and he also wants to cook then cook, romance isn't one sided and neither is a relationship soo this pedestal isn't making sense. When they say worship your woman it doesn't mean that she doesn't bring anything to the table either, it's just a show of appreciation and not all men appraise women in the same way not all women are these presentations you think they are. And no one has to conform to what society tells your gender to be and no one should have to be only accepted because they do what their gender role expects of them.
If men are doing all the paid work and then they do half of the house work, what is she contributing? Very little. Women keep talking about how lazy men are, they say they want equality but then give nothing in return. You can say that you believe in it, but the actions of the vast majority of women, and their words really, show that most women do not believe in equality, they believe in the man pampering them and then turning around and treating the men in their lives like shit. Either way it doesn't matter, men are checking out, men have stated exactly why they are checking out (women disrespect them, treat them like shit, refuse to give anything in return etc) and women refuse to listen, women are to obsessed with themselves, to obsessed with the idea that they are entitled to everything they want and well, clearly me trying to point this out to stop this "sexodus" as they are calling it so that we can have normal relationships between the gender is going unheeded so I am done.
The fact is you say no one has to conform but that's moronically stupid. Only women can believe that, get away with that. What happens when the guy doesn't pay for a date? the woman leaves him. What happens if he acts in a way that the woman doesn't want? She leaves. The problem is women keep telling men they can act differently, then they turn around and punish any man who does. Look on this site, so many women go "oh I always offer to pay for dates" then they turn around and state that any guy who accepts they dump, "because he obviously didn't really care about me", or they claim that "the one who does the asking should pay" knowing full well that it will be men because women refuse to do the asking. This is the games women play, they make it seem like their are options, but there not. So you say we don't have to conform, and I agree, that's why we have MGTOW. How do women treat them? Like shit, telling them they are whiny losers who cannot get laid, because as per usual a man
a man only has value based upon his utility to women. In fact their is a book about that called "The Myth of Male Power". Men are treated like shit, they have no rights, no respect, and women keep telling them they are the reason everything is wrong with the world and when guys try to argue they get told they are "misogynistic" or pathetic whiners and we should stop thinking about ourselves and think more about women. The fact is the only way not to conform is for men to go MGTOW, but that means cutting women out of their lives, or they can be the asshole pick up artists that only interact with women to get sex, which is fine except that people need more then physical pleasure to be functional human beings. Men are not wanting to marry and they state specifically its because of divorce laws that make them pay alimony and childsupport while taking away their children. But again, women don't care, they benefit from it so they keep exploiting the system.
@hellionthesagereborn You just repeat the same things. Yes, very women can think men have to pay. But we say, it is WRONG. If women want equality, they can't expect money from man. We say these stereotypes must break.
@Heimatlosigkeit Yes, exactly! You say its wrong, but you still do it anyway. That's the problem, empty words. Why is this difficult for you to understand? The problem isn't even that men have to pay, from a biological standpoint it makes sense, its just that women attach a whole bunch of other stuff to it, punish men who also act on biological instinct, and then act like they are superior because they say they don't want a man to pay but then forget that in order to be "superior" it would require that they also act in that same manner which they don't.
@Heimatlosigkeit Really? Then you are a unicorn because as I stated we already have data showing the vast majority of women want this. @Oceania if surveys show that over 80% of women want a man to pay, how is that a generalization? Does that mean that saying people can see and have eyes is a generalization because in a few rare cases they don't? No. It means that exceptions exist. We know that the vast majority of women want men to pay, we know that women who out earn their partners are more likely to cheat and divorce. So we know this is what women want in general because that is what the data says. Again, its not wrong. Families cost money, men want attractive women, its not wrong child birth is damaging to the body so wanting a wife who is attractive is wanting a woman with traits that will aid her surivival in child birth. Their is nothing wrong with that. Its the lying and when it gets out of hand and becomes the only priority that it becomes an issue.
I think you don't realise that your point came across as ALL women so if you're saying ~vast majority~ but still denying the fact that there are women out there who aren't like that then yeaah you are generalizing because you're just saying vast majority (the 80%) and then we are speaking for your supposed 20% but you're still saying no, it's all women. All I'm saying is not everyone is the same.
No it didn't. I stated 80%, its generally assumed that this is the vast majority as again, its 80%, 30% more then half meaning only 20% of women responded that they didn't want the man to always pay. Majority would be anything over 50%, this is substantially greater then 50%, ergo by definition the vast majority is a valid statement. Further more its a given that their will be one or two anecdotal exceptions, exceptions exist I don't think any one has ever stated that some traits exists in all of a group without any exception what so ever and without any possible exception. That would be absurd. I don't recall saying all women without exception, though to be fair I have been rather sleep deprived so maybe I missed that part? Just read through all of my comments, nope never said all women at any point in the conversation. Not once. So sorry you just lied. You claimed I said something I didn't. Why do you think that is? As for my statistics, I gave a link, why would they help me?
Their statistics, I was showing that no, you cannot claim that this is not something that is happening and brush it under the rug, you cannot say it doesn't count and what I have said is invalid because "not all women" because the vast majority of women do do this. That's what you (General usage not personal) do, when women don't like what a man says they immediately play victim, act like they are being attacked, act like a general statement was a personal one or inversely try to apply a personal statement to all women so they can play victim and get the natural protect women response from every one so they don't have to have their ideas or their position challenged, its a very common tactic. That's what your doing right now, that's why you tried to claim that my statement that stated 80% of women was suggesting all women when it obviously wasn't, so you can act like a victim and thus dismiss what is being said. Women are not perfect, lets stop pretending they are.
What are you trying to prove? I already accepted people act like that in general. Because of gender roles, because of stereotypes. These are the things that I am fighting, that's why I am feminist. Instead of questioning the society, the media, you accuse of us for those people.
@Heimatlosigkeit Yeah you didn't accept it, your saying stereotypes, your ignoring biology. Its not "society", its genetics, their is a reason why our DNA is two meters long, its not because it makes a good "paper weight". As for your last comment, the only reason why it was expected of women to cook is because they would stay at home (by their own volition) while the man worked. It was division of labor, he did all the hard work, she cooked and clean, it was a fair trade (actually it wasn't, he historically could work up to 100 hours a week (pretty common until the 1900s) while all she did was chores around the house, cook and get free food, housing, protection and what ever the man could afford to give her that she wanted). So again, your omitting 90% of the story to come to some very bizarre conclusions.
Some guys are general douchebags and hate having to deal with someone else's problem as well. They rather just be happy with flings and enjoying themselves.
As anyone would, life has ups and downs, and when their partner shows any sign of unhappiness, they decide not to deal with it and move on to the next to keep a constant high.
I see it as their own coping mechanism. A very negative one at that.
Cause so many girls are caught saying admitting in the past like decade admitting that its not really love and that they are playing games. And that is just flat out depressing.
its about ego, and manhood and looking good in front of their homeboys. men are largely jack asses, and care about three things, YOU wanting them (whether you are in love or lust), your pussy, and playing a game and succeeding at getting your pussy. men are assholes. everything is ego driven. and believe it or not they are EXTREMEMLY insecure people. multiple women is like a notch on their belt a badge of honor, a leg up in the male world. that is their CULTURE. women need to hold out as long as you can, the hook up culture is for male centered benefit. hold on to not having sex, dont focus on one man, and make sure you get everything you want from a man. if you want commitment, get it, marriage? get it, money? shopping? get it, and even then wants you get what you want its still UP TO YOU TO MAKE THE FINAL DECISION to give up the pussy.
If he's not chasing YOU after all this time then drop him. You deserve to be chased, 5 years is too long. (even tho i dont really know the full situation, its seems interesting)
Girl, it’s sooo hard to explain. We’ve kissed a few times recently. But for all these years, one moment he says he likes me, then the next, and says he likes me only as a friend
Or just move on cos a guy that wants U won't need chasing. Maybe the guy likes commitment but not with u. No guy will ever tell the woman of his dreams he just want to be friends. Close this door so another door can open to u cos u are missing out on another guy that u would fine attractive that would be eager to reciprocate ur love
Relationships on the whole are defined and structured on women's terms. They are for the benefit of women rather than for the benefit of men. It's why women will often talk about what they want from a relationship. It's a result of women seeing a relationship as providing the security necessary for her to give birth to and care for infants. This makes a woman in a natural environment vulnerable and completely dependent upon the commitment of others.
I'm not intending to generalize, but why do most gals take pride in being manipulators and having lots of drama? Most of them love to play the role of "misandrist" instead of being intrepidus. Why is equality such an awful thing to them?
There are a couple reasons why guys might hate commitments that I can think of.
1. The man has been backstabbed/taken advantage of too many times by women who seem to have forgotten the meaning of engagement. 2. The man might not be ready to "settle down" just yet. 3. He doesn't like being tied down to a single woman.
That's all I can think of, although if you were to ask men on the streets, you'd probably get a million different reasons that I haven't thought of. :)
I don't hate commitment, however after having had 2 girlfriends cheat on me in the past, and with how trivial a lot of women treat guys in todays highly feminazi society, self preservation comes in to play. It's very easy now for a woman to destroy a man's life with entirely too little effort... and it has left a lot of people gunshy.
Too serious/scares them because they aren't ready to get in serious relationship. So they date/sleep around until they do get ready or find that one girl that changes the game for them cause she's so different than other girls that make him fall in love or want to be with just her.
I dont know honestly how many guys actually do actively cheat but I think (as a guy) a lot of the reasons why guys cheat is because too many of the confident & the "bad boy" type of guys often are admired & get approached by girls. So with all the attentiin that these type of guys get they make it a game to see how many girls they can score with as a way of challenging themselves & often using it as a way to compete with their mates. Also the kinds of girls that go after these guys are often very shallow themselves & dont have many qualities that the guys can respect.
I myslef are not this kind of guy & I think cheating is a very low thing to do for both guys & girls, but in this modern society of me me me this is a problem that is unfortunately going to only get worse in my opinion, particularly with social media being such an influential part of young peoples these days
This is separated into different types/reasons. /// Socially because of fear of being considered at the bottom of the ladder. Males hear other males talking about their sexual conquest and think "thats how you prove yourself to be cool", by being competitive with each other, by having the hottest female or the most sexual partners./// Emotionally because of addiction, we are all addicts to something a lot of males are addicted to sex to make them feel better about themselves to look past their normal life and base their success on their sexual prowess./// There are also males that cheat because they are not satisfied at home their partner only does the bare necessities when it comes to sex and they want more then what their partner gives, so they look for it elsewhere even if their partner gives them everything they want in every other aspect of life. There are other reason but those are the main ones I have seen.
Weak and needy guys will eagerly push for commitment. Guys who don't know what they're actually looking for will either settle and/or sit on the fence avoiding the commitment conversations. I think this is group amounts for most men! Guys who know what they're looking for and know their value, will not commit until they're sure she is worthy of a sound relationship.
True it is up to the woman to be worth the time a commitment calls for too. If you are acting like pretty you will be used accordingly. Not to generalize lol
In today's world commitment really benefits women most. It only makes sense for a man to shop around to make sure he is right because it costs him more if he has to try again.
See: men after divorce See: men paying child support See: men being removed from their kids lives. See: men being hit with restraining orders See: men having their reputation tarnished
Damn rights men should shop around before committing... it's far more dangerous for him than it ever has been.
I don't. What I can't stand, is when the gal is wishy washy about whether there is one or not. It's supposed to be a two-way street. I get tired of feeling like things are one sided. I put in fully when she puts in even a little effort. But if months go by and I only get halfbaked excuses and apologies for lack of effort, rather than anything useful, and no promises or empty ones, I start wondering if I should move on.
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Anonymous
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The perception among most men today is that commitment in general and marriage in particular benefits women more than men. The benefits of marriage to men have declines substantially while the costs and risks to men have increased.
And women cheat just as much as men do, arguably more...
Besides what @mroracle said (he's spot on) men are also more reluctant to commit in the fear of getting hurt. We are expected to be bullet proof and if the relationship went wrong it's always our fault.
In our society it's completely okay for a woman openly to show suffering and sorrow. If a man does this (and I've ashamedly done it in the past) he's a bitch. In fact in my opinion women have less respect for heartbroken men than other men.
Most women really fail to understand that. They might SAY it's okay for a man to be emotional but the vast majority of you lose respect for him when he acts that way.
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At least in my experience, I dated a younger guy and he moved on to the next girl pretty quickly... as in he didn't wait to end our relationship before moving on to the next. I just think it's younger guys who don't like commitment, which is understandable. They're young and they want to live life. There are girls like this too.
But reading all the comments here remind me of why I'm not dating anymore. People are quick to assume one-description-fits-all of either sex.
Every man wants to commit, but not everyone wants the terms that you want... And by nature they are not design to obey the rules of the "general" society. Even then if you want to stick to your terms i think that you will find some men that agree with you, not only in the beginning but for the rest of your lifes.
And we said our opinion, but you don't want our opinion because it's not congruent with yours. You want somebody that tells you what you want to ear and we can see that in your most "helpful guy".
Lots of guys will keep playing around until they find what they're looking for. Some guys will never stop playing around or maybe can't coz they're addicted to it. Lots of men don't wanna lose what they call "freedom" when they commit. I think a good girlfriend would make the guy feel like he still can do his own thing and he doesn't have to do everything with her/ or be with her most of the time. I think the girl should have her own time with her gfs too. Commitment is not for everyone. Those who can't commit should realize it and know it very well that can't settle down on one girl, therefore, they should inform the girl before anything starts, and let her know that he's not looking for a serious thing.
I feel it's this stereotype thint that's always going on and I get what you mean about not generalizing. It's like if a girl decided to go around getting as many men in her boat she's a whore, slut, hoe and whatnot. Why I do not know why some men cannot commit, maybe it's that theur afraid or they feel they should conform to a "males behaviour" or they just don't want at all and are just trying to waste a girls time by staying in the relationship
Wow that's both sexist and contradictory. So sleeping around is "male behavior"? So then why did you also state that its unfair that a woman who sleeps around is shamed for the behavior? I mean women don't sleep around because you just said its male behavior, so which is it something that both genders do or something that men do? statistically most men don't sleep around, also statistically men are actually happier when in a relationship and when married then when they are single and "sleeping around". The reason why men don't "want" commitment is because commitment is just commitment for them. See he has to ask her out, he has to chauffer her around, he has to plan dates, he has to pay for dates, he has to provide a home, he has to provide her with food, he has to provide for their children etc. etc. What is she doing? She is not paying, not planning and now thanks to modern society, she is not nurturing she is not doing house work she is not cooking etc. That's why they don't want it
Women don't give anything in return so its not worth the effort anymore. They have to be real picky about whom they commit to or they end up with a lot of responsibilities and no benefits (hell women are less likely to have sex with them inside a relationship so they can even get sex outside of a relationship easier then they can in it which is sad.).
@hellionthesagereborn Haha, Why do you always present your own ideas as statistics? To be accepted?
Women are not programming to do housework. All works has to be shared. You are also sexist.
I agree with you sleeping around is not male behavior, by the way. She just want to say society think it is males behaviour, because she used quotation mark
Wow thank you @Heimatlosigkeit I don't know how to put it better
@hellionthesagereborn
I didn't say it's males behaviour as heima said I used quotation marks to show that it's not what I think but rather how it is perceived through society. And you also put females in their stereotype of just bringing food and having sex. Things are changing and not every single woman is letting a man do all that stuff you said. JLo said "I ain't your mama". Again as Heima said, women are not programmed to do housework same as a man is not programmed to having to be the only provider.
@Heimatlosigkeit www.telegraph.co.uk/.../...or-meals-on-a-date.html I don't pass off my opinions as facts, I pass off facts as facts. Just because you don't like what they say doesn't change anything, I presented you with multiple scientific peer reviewed studies in our other discussion, whether or not you wish to believe them or not is up to you, reality will continue being what it is.
No I did not stereotype women, I stated that women do not provide anything any more because society has told women that men owe them, that apparently everything is on the man she can do as she pleases and he has to keep to his traditional role. Now women do have natural tendencies towards certain behaviors, just like men, but our society shames men who deviate from the traditional role, but then shames them simply for being men meanwhile women are told they are owed everything. He has to pay, she doesn't have to give sex, he has to be romantic, she doesn't have to be nurturing etc etc. So everything is on the shoulders of men. Women do not respect men, men have always respected and even reveried women (you see it in art, you see it in writing you see it in media and day to day existence). Its one sided and that's why we have MGTOW, men who just don't want to deal with women any more. Its sad that this is happening yet women still cannot get off their pedestal to see what they are doing
@hellionthesagereborn Yes, I did say. It is traditional gender roles. We don't have to do that. Paying is not male responsibility, Cooking is not female responsibility. Existentialist feminism says We do not have to do anything we do not want based on our gender. The future in our hands.
Suit your needs, you accept traditional gender roles exist, by the way.
I hear you but personally I don't stand in believing that a relationship is one sided. I think that it is both ways and so if a women is vulnerable he can be vunerable, if she wants to cook and he also wants to cook then cook, romance isn't one sided and neither is a relationship soo this pedestal isn't making sense. When they say worship your woman it doesn't mean that she doesn't bring anything to the table either, it's just a show of appreciation and not all men appraise women in the same way not all women are these presentations you think they are. And no one has to conform to what society tells your gender to be and no one should have to be only accepted because they do what their gender role expects of them.
exactly.
If men are doing all the paid work and then they do half of the house work, what is she contributing? Very little. Women keep talking about how lazy men are, they say they want equality but then give nothing in return. You can say that you believe in it, but the actions of the vast majority of women, and their words really, show that most women do not believe in equality, they believe in the man pampering them and then turning around and treating the men in their lives like shit. Either way it doesn't matter, men are checking out, men have stated exactly why they are checking out (women disrespect them, treat them like shit, refuse to give anything in return etc) and women refuse to listen, women are to obsessed with themselves, to obsessed with the idea that they are entitled to everything they want and well, clearly me trying to point this out to stop this "sexodus" as they are calling it so that we can have normal relationships between the gender is going unheeded so I am done.
The fact is you say no one has to conform but that's moronically stupid. Only women can believe that, get away with that. What happens when the guy doesn't pay for a date? the woman leaves him. What happens if he acts in a way that the woman doesn't want? She leaves. The problem is women keep telling men they can act differently, then they turn around and punish any man who does. Look on this site, so many women go "oh I always offer to pay for dates" then they turn around and state that any guy who accepts they dump, "because he obviously didn't really care about me", or they claim that "the one who does the asking should pay" knowing full well that it will be men because women refuse to do the asking. This is the games women play, they make it seem like their are options, but there not. So you say we don't have to conform, and I agree, that's why we have MGTOW. How do women treat them? Like shit, telling them they are whiny losers who cannot get laid, because as per usual a man
a man only has value based upon his utility to women. In fact their is a book about that called "The Myth of Male Power". Men are treated like shit, they have no rights, no respect, and women keep telling them they are the reason everything is wrong with the world and when guys try to argue they get told they are "misogynistic" or pathetic whiners and we should stop thinking about ourselves and think more about women. The fact is the only way not to conform is for men to go MGTOW, but that means cutting women out of their lives, or they can be the asshole pick up artists that only interact with women to get sex, which is fine except that people need more then physical pleasure to be functional human beings. Men are not wanting to marry and they state specifically its because of divorce laws that make them pay alimony and childsupport while taking away their children. But again, women don't care, they benefit from it so they keep exploiting the system.
@hellionthesagereborn You just repeat the same things. Yes, very women can think men have to pay. But we say, it is WRONG. If women want equality, they can't expect money from man.
We say these stereotypes must break.
I am not like them. You don't have to blame us.
I'm there with Heima because I don't even know how to answer anymore because I feel it's all been mentioned
@Heimatlosigkeit Yes, exactly! You say its wrong, but you still do it anyway. That's the problem, empty words. Why is this difficult for you to understand? The problem isn't even that men have to pay, from a biological standpoint it makes sense, its just that women attach a whole bunch of other stuff to it, punish men who also act on biological instinct, and then act like they are superior because they say they don't want a man to pay but then forget that in order to be "superior" it would require that they also act in that same manner which they don't.
@hellionthesagereborn I don't act like that.
Exactly. That's a generalised comment of what you think
@Heimatlosigkeit Really? Then you are a unicorn because as I stated we already have data showing the vast majority of women want this. @Oceania if surveys show that over 80% of women want a man to pay, how is that a generalization? Does that mean that saying people can see and have eyes is a generalization because in a few rare cases they don't? No. It means that exceptions exist. We know that the vast majority of women want men to pay, we know that women who out earn their partners are more likely to cheat and divorce. So we know this is what women want in general because that is what the data says. Again, its not wrong. Families cost money, men want attractive women, its not wrong child birth is damaging to the body so wanting a wife who is attractive is wanting a woman with traits that will aid her surivival in child birth. Their is nothing wrong with that. Its the lying and when it gets out of hand and becomes the only priority that it becomes an issue.
I think you don't realise that your point came across as ALL women so if you're saying ~vast majority~ but still denying the fact that there are women out there who aren't like that then yeaah you are generalizing because you're just saying vast majority (the 80%) and then we are speaking for your supposed 20% but you're still saying no, it's all women. All I'm saying is not everyone is the same.
But if your statistics are helping you then 👍
No it didn't. I stated 80%, its generally assumed that this is the vast majority as again, its 80%, 30% more then half meaning only 20% of women responded that they didn't want the man to always pay. Majority would be anything over 50%, this is substantially greater then 50%, ergo by definition the vast majority is a valid statement. Further more its a given that their will be one or two anecdotal exceptions, exceptions exist I don't think any one has ever stated that some traits exists in all of a group without any exception what so ever and without any possible exception. That would be absurd. I don't recall saying all women without exception, though to be fair I have been rather sleep deprived so maybe I missed that part? Just read through all of my comments, nope never said all women at any point in the conversation. Not once. So sorry you just lied. You claimed I said something I didn't. Why do you think that is? As for my statistics, I gave a link, why would they help me?
Their statistics, I was showing that no, you cannot claim that this is not something that is happening and brush it under the rug, you cannot say it doesn't count and what I have said is invalid because "not all women" because the vast majority of women do do this. That's what you (General usage not personal) do, when women don't like what a man says they immediately play victim, act like they are being attacked, act like a general statement was a personal one or inversely try to apply a personal statement to all women so they can play victim and get the natural protect women response from every one so they don't have to have their ideas or their position challenged, its a very common tactic. That's what your doing right now, that's why you tried to claim that my statement that stated 80% of women was suggesting all women when it obviously wasn't, so you can act like a victim and thus dismiss what is being said. Women are not perfect, lets stop pretending they are.
First of all I never said women are perfect because NO ONE is. I don't think we're getting through to each other so I'm done. thank for your opinion💫
What are you trying to prove? I already accepted people act like that in general. Because of gender roles, because of stereotypes. These are the things that I am fighting, that's why I am feminist.
Instead of questioning the society, the media, you accuse of us for those people.
Do we say to you why many men think that a woman must cook a meal? No.
Neither can you.
@Heimatlosigkeit Yeah you didn't accept it, your saying stereotypes, your ignoring biology. Its not "society", its genetics, their is a reason why our DNA is two meters long, its not because it makes a good "paper weight". As for your last comment, the only reason why it was expected of women to cook is because they would stay at home (by their own volition) while the man worked. It was division of labor, he did all the hard work, she cooked and clean, it was a fair trade (actually it wasn't, he historically could work up to 100 hours a week (pretty common until the 1900s) while all she did was chores around the house, cook and get free food, housing, protection and what ever the man could afford to give her that she wanted). So again, your omitting 90% of the story to come to some very bizarre conclusions.
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Some guys are general douchebags and hate having to deal with someone else's problem as well. They rather just be happy with flings and enjoying themselves.
As anyone would, life has ups and downs, and when their partner shows any sign of unhappiness, they decide not to deal with it and move on to the next to keep a constant high.
I see it as their own coping mechanism. A very negative one at that.
Then why do women initiate divorce more then men, by a significant margin?
Cause so many girls are caught saying admitting in the past like decade admitting that its not really love and that they are playing games. And that is just flat out depressing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfs8NYg7yQMits about ego, and manhood and looking good in front of their homeboys. men are largely jack asses, and care about three things, YOU wanting them (whether you are in love or lust), your pussy, and playing a game and succeeding at getting your pussy. men are assholes. everything is ego driven. and believe it or not they are EXTREMEMLY insecure people. multiple women is like a notch on their belt a badge of honor, a leg up in the male world. that is their CULTURE. women need to hold out as long as you can, the hook up culture is for male centered benefit. hold on to not having sex, dont focus on one man, and make sure you get everything you want from a man. if you want commitment, get it, marriage? get it, money? shopping? get it, and even then wants you get what you want its still UP TO YOU TO MAKE THE FINAL DECISION to give up the pussy.
Girlll, you tell me!! Been chasing the same guy for 5 years :((
If he's not chasing YOU after all this time then drop him. You deserve to be chased, 5 years is too long.
(even tho i dont really know the full situation, its seems interesting)
Yeah girl, seriously!! It sucks. I just REALLY like him
Has he shown any signs of interest?
Girl, it’s sooo hard to explain. We’ve kissed a few times recently. But for all these years, one moment he says he likes me, then the next, and says he likes me only as a friend
I have been in that situation too.. Kinda still in it, it's so fucking annoying
Girl ik!! I’m always gonna be in it lmao
Or just move on cos a guy that wants U won't need chasing. Maybe the guy likes commitment but not with u. No guy will ever tell the woman of his dreams he just want to be friends. Close this door so another door can open to u cos u are missing out on another guy that u would fine attractive that would be eager to reciprocate ur love
Relationships on the whole are defined and structured on women's terms. They are for the benefit of women rather than for the benefit of men. It's why women will often talk about what they want from a relationship. It's a result of women seeing a relationship as providing the security necessary for her to give birth to and care for infants. This makes a woman in a natural environment vulnerable and completely dependent upon the commitment of others.
Why do women HATE equality?
I'm not intending to generalize, but why do most gals take pride in being manipulators and having lots of drama? Most of them love to play the role of "misandrist" instead of being intrepidus.
Why is equality such an awful thing to them?
LOL this is actually my experience from all this shit
There are a couple reasons why guys might hate commitments that I can think of.
1. The man has been backstabbed/taken advantage of too many times by women who seem to have forgotten the meaning of engagement.
2. The man might not be ready to "settle down" just yet.
3. He doesn't like being tied down to a single woman.
That's all I can think of, although if you were to ask men on the streets, you'd probably get a million different reasons that I haven't thought of. :)
I don't hate commitment, however after having had 2 girlfriends cheat on me in the past, and with how trivial a lot of women treat guys in todays highly feminazi society, self preservation comes in to play. It's very easy now for a woman to destroy a man's life with entirely too little effort... and it has left a lot of people gunshy.
Too serious/scares them because they aren't ready to get in serious relationship. So they date/sleep around until they do get ready or find that one girl that changes the game for them cause she's so different than other girls that make him fall in love or want to be with just her.
I dont know honestly how many guys actually do actively cheat but I think (as a guy) a lot of the reasons why guys cheat is because too many of the confident & the "bad boy" type of guys often are admired & get approached by girls. So with all the attentiin that these type of guys get they make it a game to see how many girls they can score with as a way of challenging themselves & often using it as a way to compete with their mates. Also the kinds of girls that go after these guys are often very shallow themselves & dont have many qualities that the guys can respect.
I myslef are not this kind of guy & I think cheating is a very low thing to do for both guys & girls, but in this modern society of me me me this is a problem that is unfortunately going to only get worse in my opinion, particularly with social media being such an influential part of young peoples these days
Yeah. But it's only the bad girls or girls who are sick of not feeling good enough for a good guy that goes for bad guys.
What would give girls the feeling that they are not "good enough" for a good guy?
This is separated into different types/reasons. /// Socially because of fear of being considered at the bottom of the ladder. Males hear other males talking about their sexual conquest and think "thats how you prove yourself to be cool", by being competitive with each other, by having the hottest female or the most sexual partners./// Emotionally because of addiction, we are all addicts to something a lot of males are addicted to sex to make them feel better about themselves to look past their normal life and base their success on their sexual prowess./// There are also males that cheat because they are not satisfied at home their partner only does the bare necessities when it comes to sex and they want more then what their partner gives, so they look for it elsewhere even if their partner gives them everything they want in every other aspect of life. There are other reason but those are the main ones I have seen.
Weak and needy guys will eagerly push for commitment.
Guys who don't know what they're actually looking for will either settle and/or sit on the fence avoiding the commitment conversations. I think this is group amounts for most men!
Guys who know what they're looking for and know their value, will not commit until they're sure she is worthy of a sound relationship.
True it is up to the woman to be worth the time a commitment calls for too. If you are acting like pretty you will be used accordingly. Not to generalize lol
In today's world commitment really benefits women most. It only makes sense for a man to shop around to make sure he is right because it costs him more if he has to try again.
See: men after divorce
See: men paying child support
See: men being removed from their kids lives.
See: men being hit with restraining orders
See: men having their reputation tarnished
Damn rights men should shop around before committing... it's far more dangerous for him than it ever has been.
I don't. What I can't stand, is when the gal is wishy washy about whether there is one or not. It's supposed to be a two-way street. I get tired of feeling like things are one sided. I put in fully when she puts in even a little effort. But if months go by and I only get halfbaked excuses and apologies for lack of effort, rather than anything useful, and no promises or empty ones, I start wondering if I should move on.
The perception among most men today is that commitment in general and marriage in particular benefits women more than men. The benefits of marriage to men have declines substantially while the costs and risks to men have increased.
And women cheat just as much as men do, arguably more...
nytlive.nytimes.com/.../
Besides what @mroracle said (he's spot on) men are also more reluctant to commit in the fear of getting hurt. We are expected to be bullet proof and if the relationship went wrong it's always our fault.
In our society it's completely okay for a woman openly to show suffering and sorrow. If a man does this (and I've ashamedly done it in the past) he's a bitch. In fact in my opinion women have less respect for heartbroken men than other men.
Most women really fail to understand that. They might SAY it's okay for a man to be emotional but the vast majority of you lose respect for him when he acts that way.