What makes a guy want to be in a relationship?

Is there specific things that guys look for in a girl so they would like to be with her for a life time?
If yes! What are your standards?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Alright I will be super honest. Most guys want a girl just to have one. They aren't think about anything way into the future. They want just to have a girlfriend so they can do relationship stuff.

    So what do most guys look for;
    -Down to earth ( she isn't judgemental)
    -Nice
    -Friendly and outgoing
    -Cute
    -girls that aren't like omg eww for little things
    -fun ( this is so huge so many people are not fun)
    -caring
    -Shows interesting in what you think and how you feel

    - Girl that isn't afraid to be all flirty and do smexy stuff :3
    That's all I can think of off the top of my head

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Most Helpful Girl

  • fuck these standards all these guys are talking about. be yourself and the right guy will fall for you. bottom line is the perfect girl could be infant of a guys face and if he's not ready to settle and still wants to "make memories" then thats that

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    • These are all standards that matter to each of these men individually. No one person is the same and just because you're seeing a load of traits that you either don't have or don't like, it doesn't make it invalid.

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    • @Op if you believe that good for you its your opinion... however that works if you are truly a catch a girl who is naturally great... as for the majority of girls today if they ignore guys standards and go around doing whatever they want sooner or later the consequences will hit them... like it or not decent people have standards and the only way to be with such people is to fit their standard

    • @confised_dater Sure, but also read this bit of OP:

      " What are your standards?"

      They're merely answering that question. So no, don't fuck what these guys have to say, they're merely expressing their own standards.

      also if you've not read the traits, how can you say "fuck all the standards these guys are talking about" you've literally just confessed you don't even know why standards these guys are talking about. You could be telling girls not to worry about being good people.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 174

  • I mean, for me it's a mix of a couple things that make me feel like the girl is worth being with. If you get what I mean. Firstly I think it would be intelligence. Cause there's nothing worse than a person who has no sense of knowledge whatsoever. Then it's loyalty, and trustworthyness, due to some personal reasons. And have an own personality... oh and please have humour, you gotta have humour to get through this world. I know it's a long list. But that is what makes me feel like the person is someone who I can spend a lifetime with!

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  • It all starts with physical attraction followed by personality traits. I´m looking for traits like positivity, sense of humour, loyal and reliable, kind hearted etc. In the past I would fall for the wrong type of girls so those things are necessary for me to be attracted to a girl. Also what matters is how her childhood was, relationship with parents, friends and most of all, how much she cares for her own wellbeing.
    If those things are in order, then it´s only how well the sex works between us and if she´s willing to try new things or not.

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  • It's not the girl, it's they guy. Some guys are ready to settle down, some guys are not. The guys who aren't ready aren't going to change because of a girl. They will change when they are tired of dating. For some guys this will happen when they are 21. For others it won't ever happen.

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  • In the beggining of this year, all I wanted for a girl was to engage physically then hit it.
    I met a girl from another city on the beach, I told her I was going to be there for my birthday because I love the beach.
    She said the following: Ok, so we'll make a barbecue for yoi in my house to celebrate your birthday properly.
    I didn't believe it, but when I got there, there was lots of meat and a bottle of whiskey waiting for me.
    I immediately putted her out of the "commitmentless zone" and saw potential.
    On our second date I said I was going to bring cold beer for us to watch the sunset and she said the following: "I will bring a thermical bag so our beers dont warm up". Another point for her.
    We went out for a while and she turned out to be a very good cooker as well.
    She also has a very open mind in sex and seems to enjoy it.
    Sadly she is not very... Cutey... Like giving affection with words or something like that, but I think she thinks I dont like it.
    The point is: She cares about it. She foresees what could make a person happy instead of trying to make me chase her.
    I would happy commit to that girl, but my standards are too high since I am not 100% over my ex yet.
    But she clearly is the one who got closer, because she is altruistic.

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  • For me, I want to wait for marriage so dating is only a long term thing for me. Things I would want to see are character traits, goals, mindset, beliefs, and looks. Looks are subjective and every guy has their own preferences so I won't touch on looks.

    Character Traits: Kind, Genuine, Intelligent, down to Earth, Humble, Strong willed, fun

    Goals: Wants kids, wants to better themselves, whatever else

    Mindset: Non-materialistic or just doesn't buy things we don't need, and can know when to take things seriously and when to mess around, can take a joke

    Beliefs: Christian

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  • I see this question over and over, and it's based on a basic misunderstanding. It is NOT some superior quality in a girl that makes her "dating material" instead of "ONS material." A guy who's looking for one-night-stands, looks at ALL girls as ONS. A guy that looking for "dating material" is looking at girls as potential dates. It is the qualities inside the GUY, not of the the girl, that makes the difference.

    It *is* true that a girl can, through her actions, prove to a guy looking to date, that she is NOT dating material, but that does not mean that she can prove through her actions that she *is* dating material to a guy who's not looking to date.

    If you have trouble understanding the difference think of this analogy.

    There are two girls, each running a food stall. One girl is selling full meals. The other sells snacks.

    Two guys come along. One guy is hungry and looking for a meal. The other isn't particularly hungry, and just wants a snack.

    What can the "full meal" girl do to make the "snack guy" eat a full meal? NOTHING. If she lowers her prices *enough*, he'll buy the "full meal" instead of the snack, BUT he's not going to eat the "full meal" he'll just snack on it and throw the rest away.

    On the other hand, the guy who's looking for a "full meal" will buy lots of snacks to make a "full meal" if the snack girl offers them.

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  • I definitely look for a woman, not a girl. A wouldn't date a girl that is insecure, childish (and not in a good way), overly jealous, without goals or passions in life, negative and pessimistic or always looking for and spreading rumors, waiting on a man to "be whole" or "become rich" or "be happy". Instead I would be head over heels for a woman that have self esteem (of course we all are insecure about some things, that's fine), mature, has her life put together, has goals, passions, can trust me without always tracking me, where I've been and with who and instead do things on her own that she enjoys. In clear, someone that is perfectly happy alone, and doesn't need me, but chose to let me be a part of her life because she likes me

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  • Well this might sound stupid but first of all I like girls that are girly.

    I'm not interested in party girls that can drink more than me.

    She should be cute in the way she acts (this can vary from girl to girl. What is cute by one doesn't have to be by another one)

    She should share the same or similar kind of humor.

    Despite the "character is way more important than looks" saying, looks are important as well. She can be the perfect match character wise but if I'm not physically attracted to her in any way it just won't work out.

    And last but not least she should accept the existence of privacy. Sometimes I just wanna be alone without her going crazy about it.

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  • Depends on the guy. Some guys its sex. Others how independent they are. How well they bond. Some have a thing about good cooking. The saying is "The best way to a mans heart is his stomach." Me personally, a strong independent woman who is cute funny and smart.

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  • 1. Motivation. Doesn't expect me to carry every conversation, make every move, always text first, always initiate intimacy, etc.

    2. She has her own shit happening. Hobbies, a career, passions she chases after, goals, etc.

    3. Able to hold a conversation. Been with too many girls that just nod and say yeah or stare blankly with no interest, this is absolutely necessary

    4. Cares about her health and fitness.
    Eats healthy from time to time and does something physical regularly. I love big girl as much as anyone but there is a difference between being big and not taking care of yourself

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  • It's complicated... as an example I can mention the last time I wanted to be in a relationship. My head couldn't stop thinking about her, I felt attracted to her, we got along super well, our conversations were very nice and fulfilling, we had a lot of things in common and even intellectually we were similar. Basically I found in her most things I look for in a girl... therefore I wanted to be in a relationship with her.

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  • A girl who has similar interests as myself, even if our view points differ. She's intelligent, conversational, enjoys wit and can be witty right back. She's open with her thoughts and feelings and expresses herself well. Let's me know what she's thinking and feeling, or at least gives me enough hints to figure that out.

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  • Well, every man is different, but for me it would be mutual interest and being able to be myself and be comfortable, for example, I like to sing in the kitchen, tell bad jokes, play Xbox and and watch funny gaming videos on YouTube. When I date someone and don't feel like I can do something I enjoy, I question the longevity of the relationship or if I should sacrifice something I enjoy. However, the worst for me is when someone fakes mutual interest, because the act never lasts.

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  • Trustworthy, how you treat other's no matter interest included how you treat yourself, respect, investment in relationship, usually two-way relationship, gives without aspecting nothing in return, deep conections emotional logical and sexual, Love, that you two is compateble.

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  • Nothing makes a guy want a relationship. They fell lonely and needy and desperate just like women do. A guy will choose to spend his life with you when you change his perspective. When you affect a guy so much that he changes for the better, you'll have the guy that will love you forever.

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    • Awwwe~ that is so cute.
      I hope I will make a change in someones life one day.

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    • I hope you guys will be together in the long run.

    • wtf are you talking about

  • If course. We are living, feeling, loving beings just like woman. My dream girl is the only girl in my dreams... I am the only one in her dream's, so we dream the same dream. She/I do NOT have a cheat in any of our dreams. No matter how long We are together I never say NO in the bedroom, she will never say NO to me, no matter how tired, how bad the headache is, how upset we may have been with one another that day... When my adorable sweet soul and I lose our clothes we talk until all misunderstanding is under stood. We stay up for a week if needed. Never enter the sleep state with unresolved resentments between your lover and yourself. Make full amends and then do the most sentuous thing she likes even if you hate going that. Now you are in love. If you love you have only one goal. Make her happy.

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  • In a nutshell, he has to feel that he has The One. If he wants kids, he wants to be confident that she would be a good mother. Mutual physical and emotional attraction, shared values/philosophy, enjoying each other's company. Trust, compatibility, stability.

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  • I look for kindness, caring about others, intelligence, good sense of humor, good morals, thoughtfulness toward others, someone with goals that are compatible with mine, and willing to work for to reach those goals, faith belief close to mine, compassion for others, warm personality, loyal to her friends (but not stupidly loyal), nice to look at (a smile does that), good body is a plus, but not a deal breaker.

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  • I'd say yes, I personally want a glorified best friend to be my girlfriend. I want to be able to laugh, cry, tease, and cuddle with someone I'm comfortable with... if she's comfortable with my crazy world... then she's the one.

    I hope this helps!

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  • Just take care of your appearance and don't shag other guys. That's pretty much all it fucking takes. You'd think it wouldn't be that hard to find, but it is.

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  • I don't seek a life partner in itself. I seek companionship and if the relationship goes for the long term, great. The qualities I look for are more to do with not behaving or treating in manners I won't tolerate.

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  • Good question, i have wondered this about girls too. I am a guy who is currently single. For me, what I am looking for in a girl is basically 1. Do our personalities mesh/ compliment each other. If you can't stand the person your dating/ married to, it doesn't matter how "good" that person is, everything they do will make you mad. 2. Are they intelligent enough to make wise choices if they need to on their own. I am more of a natural leader, so a natural follower would be my pair, but if I'm not there, I need to know that she can make solid choices by herself. And 3. Can she cook? I say "cook", but I am referring to general skills that compliment me. If I am obviously lacking in an area, it only makes sense to pick a partner who is obviously strong in that same area. In general, this is my thought process, I'm sorry I can't be more helpful, but I think it is more about how you "match up" with the perspective partner.

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  • Believing the lies he's been fed his entire life.

    As soon as he stops doing that, his desire to ever be in another relationshit takes a nice dive.

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  • I don't know of anything that makes me want a relationship. I can give you 5000 reasons why I don't want one though.

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  • For me it's having a woman that loves you and wants you an only you. One that makes in known and felt that she loves me and wants me to be happy... Someone I can lay in bed with and smoke a cone and talk about aliens and conspiracies and other weird shit for hours and just laugh with.. Nothing sexier than a woman that proves she loves and wants her man!

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    • would it freak you out if she fell i love with you before you started dating, if youd known each other a few years? (assuming she's someone you had some kind of feeling for)

      you were upfront about love so i was just curious:)

    • No not at all, if there was some kind of vibe or chemistry between me and that person and we were both available i would want to give it a try... Lifes to short to not get all you can..

    • i agree, but it scares people and im not sure why. I've had people fall in love and even if i did not feel i wished i did so we could give it a try. never 'scared' me.

  • Personally I would like a girl that I can connect with beyond the superficial level. A lot of people say that you should act like a friend, I can tell you now that this doesn't work most of the time. My advice would be find someone that you like and get on their wavelength. Find out what they like and take an interest, most importantly show to him that you are available / interested. I know it sounds a little old fashioned but that's because it is. Just be aware that you may have to make the first move, some guys aren't all that comfortable approaching especially if you are with friends. If he is with friends ask to borrow him for a moment and go somewhere quiet and away from everyone.

    Best of luck, we're all rooting for you!

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  • I look for loyalty n honesty in girl. I dont care what race she is from. If ur mature n open minded u then ur cool. Well, dont get to see this anymore. Girls will just go wid multiple boys instead f staying wid one. Girls now a days r intrested in jerks

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  • Just you in general having the same love for yourself that you had when you met.

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  • Well for me she has to have a lot of good qualities great personality, honest, attractive, affectionate, adventurous, and fun. Someone you feel you can't live without. She will probably have a few traits my mom has. I look up to my mom in many ways. Someone who always has my back no matter how bad things get for me. She must be concerned about my emotional state of mind. This is just what I seek. It may vary for other guys.

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  • I know what i want is the companionship. I want to go to work knowing i have someone waiting for me who cares about me and will support me as i will her.

    All i would ask are the standards i hold myself to.
    Be faithful, honest, and committed. Act as if we never stopped dating because would spend every day trying to impress her. Too many people get the ring and say oh i dont have to try anymore.

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  • More from Guys
    144

What Girls Said 24

  • This is not the best question to ask because you are going to end up with the wrong kind of person. First evaluate your standards and values. Then ask this from somebody who your interested with. But as I always day, start out as friends first while stating your intentions. Then see if romance is possible. Every person has different standards. And you don't want to get involved with somebody who's standards conflicts your own.

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  • The best man is not demanding and just loves her the way she is. That is the best basics for a relationsship. Also a man that does not depend on opinions of others and will do nothing for it is absolutely great. Most man hide they live in boundage. That is so evil and never good for a relationsship and boundage is created to destroy relationsships for people who are jealous if you have a good relationsship and promise you a lot what is not ment for good purpose but you must believe that and many are fooled with that. But be aware, some woman live in boundage not just man. So the same is also true for the opposit sex. Check always if your partner has demons. If so it most confess it that does not confess no relationsship is possible that ever will be good and make no hope but it will bring you down in hell and you must believe it is done for love while it is pure evil and hate. This happens a lot in our society. Almost everybody is possessed since birth and the devil works extremely hard , so have no shame for that since you are not the only one in boundage. Just get rid of it if you are able to do it and have a good relationsship because the bible says that is important , live good to make other jealous. The most live evil and make other jealous what is the opposit of Gods will desire. Be aware and wake up and open your eyes for evil.

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  • For me. I look for a person to get along with me. Someone funny. Someone taller than me too. Sometimes the person doesn't have to be funny, I just need to enjoy my time with them. Someone understanding, kind and caring... and not only for me but others around me. Someone who loves me for me. A guy who doesn't want me for my body. Basically a guy who is like my best friend as well.

    and looks wise
    I relly don't mind what race I forever end up with but I mostly prefer any other race than my own (long story but if u ask I'll be more than happy to explain). Gorgeous eyes can attract me. I don't mind if the guys a little bit chubby coz frankly i don't entirely mind body types. Lol my boy can't be having small lips coz like my lips are relly big and if a boy has small lips... i don't even wanna imagine what would happen. I'm not sure if i like dudes with long hair but a cute short haircut would be nice. I also like nice curls like Finn Wolfhard's but i relly don't care.

    Pretty much it hehe

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  • I think timing has a lot to do with a successful relationship

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    • Not really

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    • At your age i guess yeah it is different, but for me personally the problem is finding a quality girl who is single and not looking for an established guy... literally zero girls like that around, they are either taken and have a boyfriend with a good job and ready to settle down, or looking for someone like that.

    • @DaTruth01 I can see where you're coming from and having direction is attractive

  • Using my wifiest female friends (they are married now) as reference to what makes men want a relationship
    - they are mature
    - they had life goals
    - they were in an OK shape
    - they look classy
    - they can commit
    - they are not a pain in the ass

    As for my friends who can't keep a boyfriend
    - they either dress like nuns or strippers
    - they cancel appointments at the last minute
    - not mature
    - clingy

    So if you want a relationship have traits from the first list. :)

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  • Well except being blue or green eyes and red or blond hair, I am sure I have all those traits.. well, yeah u can call me goodie or innocent or plain or whatever but that’s what I am and I plan to keep it for my future husband.. thanks

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  • I think with anyone there's no one thing. It depends on the connection two people have and things in common.

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  • 1. He wants commitment
    2. He likes you

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  • It’s very rare that I see a guy in a committed relationship becaue most guys just want a “fling” like the singer sza said in her song the weekend. Anyways what make a guy want to be in a relationship is that he’s ready to put away his immature side to be with the that he think is the one for him, not the kind that you see on Instagram but the one that’s all about his girl and nobody else.

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  • Loyalty, honestly

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  • How sad that you think of girls in such black and white terms, and not fully human. Decent girls or sluts are your only categories? Define slur in your own words and explain why that is bad. Define decent.
    You don't know anything about me and my sexual history isn't your business, just as yours is not mine.
    I simply pointed out that relationship based on looks alone is superficial and will not last, because people are complex and deeper than their physical appearances.
    Yet somehpw

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    • (Define slut)
      And yet somehow, you are insulted by that

  • When he wants someone to feel love with and share memories.
    I think a guy wants to be in a true committed relationship, when he's in love. If he is only using a girl for one thing (Most Commonly sex.) He's not going to label it as a true relationship if he's not committed to you or in love.

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  • It might be the same for women

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  • Interest coupled with affection

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  • Only guys who are ready for a relationship will want to be in a relationship

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  • That good succ

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  • I think, love is important for guys to have a relationship

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  • I think they want to be able to call someone theirs. Maybe they want to have a connection no one else can have with them.

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  • Such a good Q all guys seem to want are flings

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  • Being insane

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  • big tiddies

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  • Some one with a decent self esteem that doesn't post anonymously

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  • When you meet all his needs

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  • They don't like boring, lazy women who lack personality. But they always end up marrying them in the long run, when the boring girls can't take losing, they resort to spell casting or trapping him with a baby, or lying that she's a virgin, you'll be fine.

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