What makes a guy want to settle down/ get into a long term relationship? (See details)?

[Anonymous]

The guy I like, I won't call him a player, but he is still in the phase where he has only ever had flings and wants short term relationships. Basically does not want to get attached or settle down. He does believe in falling in love though.

I met him online, so if we ever have a relationship it'll be long distance. When I told him I like him he said he didn't feel the same (prolly coz of the distance, he acts like he likes me). I can basically assure we wouldve been dating had the distance not been there, coz then we could do a casual thing. There's no point of ldr if you dont want a long term relationship with them.

What makes a guy like this finally want to get in a long term relationship?

[HighValue]

The truth is that for most people it is not a "phase." The majority of people that like casual sex will not last in an EXCLUSIVE long term relationship. They eventually get bored and want something new so they either leave or cheat.

And the people that do want something long term and exclusive, those guys usually always wanted that kind of relationship and not casual sex.

It has more to do with someone's morals and how they value others than it is a "phase." I hope that helps clarify things.

[Asker]

I agree. But he has never been physical or had sex with any of the girls so far. Its just hanging out, going on dates, getting to know each other and maybe holding hands/hugs or at maximum kissing. That's it.

[Asker]

Its like, he knows how to appreciate woman beyond physicality. But he seems to appreciate most of the women around him and not want to be pinned down by one.

[HighValue]

I would suggest avoiding someone like that and trying to find someone else that has compatible long term life goals as you do.

[Guy13]

Long distance relationship never works. Forget about it.

[Asker]

I have seen plenty of them work. Given both the people want each other badly or see a future together down the line.

[Guy13]

Nope. Not a one married. I do know one but God was clearly in it and made Himself known.

[spartan55]

You are getting so far ahead of yourself. Sustainability is very difficult in an LDR unless there is a fixed end date.

[Asker]

Our long term goals match, so we do have an end date for sure.

[spartan55]

Do they? You said he wants casual, you don't. You aren't being honest with yourself.

[Pyrofox]

If he thinks your stable enough to handle the true relationship. And not gonna go psycho on him.

[Asker]

Makes sense, thanks!

[Jamie05rhs]

Lol. You're not making any sense. You want a long distance long term relationship, and yet if he was close you would have just had a fling with him? Wtf 😅

[Asker]

I want a LTR. Which will initially be long distance. But he is only into casual short term. Which is why maybe without distance we would've been casual. A casual long distance doesn't make sense. He likes me enough only to want a casual. What makes a guy want long term then?

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay, then you're screwed. He doesn't want a real relationship. You need to move on and find someone else.

[Jamie05rhs]

What makes a guy want a long-term relationship? Basically, these are values that are instilled in him from a very young age. Either that desire has taken hold in his heart or not. If that's not something already in his heart, you are going to have to philosophically convince him. And that's a hard sell.
Minus the sentimental value, monogamous LTRs aren't attractive to most men.