Why doesn't my boyfriend want me to get plastic surgery?

Question

I want to fix one feature on my face and get a boob job but he says if I do it, he will break up with me. I love him so much but I have extremely low self esteem and I feel like fixing a few things could help me be a lot happier.

hellionthesagereborn · Accepted Answer

Because he loves you, loves you as you are and doesn't want you to spend huge amounts of money, risking your life because you can't be happy with yourself (also if your not happy about who you are now, your not going to be later the issue isn't with your looks, its with your perception of yourself). Actually it reminds me of something I heard an indian guru say (online obviously), in short he was approached by a man that was unhappy and the man tells him he hates his job and its making him unhappy, so he tells the man that he will bless him and pray that he gets fired. He is approached by others saying they are unhappy with something in their life so he tells them they can stay at his home, he will feed them and they may sit in the room and eat good food but his only rule is that they must be happy. Then of course when he checks on them they remain unhappy because their problem didn't come from their job, it didn't come from their relationships, it didn't come from their looks, their unhappiness was within them and thus no matter what was done to remove these things they remained unhappy because they where the source of the unhappiness. In short you changing yourself isn't going to make you happier, its going to make your boyfriend unhappy because he loves you for you, if you stop being you why would he stick around? He wants you, not some one who kind of looks like you, not some one with fake this or that, you.

Brewmaster531 · Accepted Answer

Two big reasons why:
One is, in his eyes, you will not be the person he met. Not 100%. Even if your attitude doesn't change, you aren't going to physically be the same person he met. You may have low self esteem, but out of the 7.5 billion people on this planet, he chose you over everyone else. In his eyes, you are probably perfect and to him, any changes from what you are now will be anything but perfect for him.
Another reason might be that plastic surgery hasn't really been perfected and it's possible that what you're imagining the turnout will be won't actually be reality. Tons and tons of people had plastic surgery and there's a lot of people that can point out who has had it. Plastic surgery can be very noticeable and is pretty much permanent. If you think your self esteem will be improved, you have to do what's best for you, regardless of how he feels.

Mi2mi2a · Accepted Answer

Why do poeople go through plastic surgery? It's not for themselves but for other people. The thing you are self conscious about was brought to by other people. If you fix these things, people will find other things to criticise about and make you self conscious about. It's what society does best.

I think you are quite lucky that you have a person who loves just as you are. Thus fixing what you find non pleasing for you is the wrond way to go about it. What you should do is build your selfconfidence.

Moreover I believe that imperfections is what makes you special. You don't want to be another sheep in the hoard. Be you and believe in you.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Today me and my husband were talking about plastic surgery in Korea and whatnot, and I joked about getting bigger boobies. He said "that would mean our divorce".
Guess he's happy with any size as long as it's me =D

Of course there's also the issue of incompatibility...
I wouldn't wanna date someone who would undertake plastic surgery because they've too low of a self-esteem. What kind of role model would he be for our children? And what does that say about how he feels about his parents, the people who made him how he is?

Fitness-Fanatic · Accepted Answer

You have low self-esteem , so you see yourself in a negative way. What you see as flaws, he sees as beauty.

How you see yourself is not how your boyfriend sees you. He loves and accepts you as you are. It's you who can't accept yourself.

Surgery turns you into someone you are not. It won't solve your self-esteem issues.

Plus, there's too many people that have botched plastic surgery , or complications at a later date.

karahiri · Answer

If he encourages you, you'll resent him for wanting to change you. He's saving his own ass here.

FatmanChris · Answer

Probably because he sees no reason for you too. He doesn't want you to be fake. He loves everything about you the way you are and you would change that. That's his opinion and his choice. Doing the surgery is completely up to you though. If you really want it, you might lose him, but that would be the right thing to do. But only if you really want it. I myself would agree with your boyfriend, I don't like cosmetic surgery. Only medical surgery I agree with. Things that are needed, like a breast reduction for back pain.

boltgun · Answer

No he wants the real u. he would feel hurt if u abandon the body u were born with, the one he fell in love with. If he had no objection than u can dk whatever u like but it seems he is the kind that cares about this sorta stuff so u do as u please u risk losing him. I don't see any gain if u say ur want the surgery to please him. Save the money for something better ☺☺

SnapTsch · Answer

Because he doesn't want you to change yourself, but he wants you to love yourself the way you are.
Plastic surgery isn't an option for low self esteem, because working on it and getting stronger is the logical option.

To be honest, neither would I go through with the relationship if my lady decided something like that. But luckily she doesn't feel that way 😁

BirdFly · Answer

Because decent men want natural women. If my girl did that I would leave her instantly. I would even spit on her face for this disgusting move.
I hate all of these fake bodypart wanting diagusting girls. If you have self esteem just fcking educate yourself mentally. Improve yourself. Do stuff and you will be better.
Even if you get the new fake boobs or etc. you will still that shitty low self esteem person you were. It will change your body. Not your mind. You will be even worse ofc. This is a sickness. Really really small touches are fine like if something is wrong you can try to fix it like if your nose has a weird shape you can say this is not okay but boob job? Don't be disgusting.

Sorry for being offensive but I lose myself when I see we are losing girls to this plastic surgery love.

aheartofthesunrise · Answer

Because you have some issues with yourself and body image that you feel the need to have some surgery.

There’s always a risk factor and those things are expensive as well.

It’s best to resolve your self esteem issues alone and if you still feel the need to later for whatever reason than you can discuss it.

Futron · Answer

Your boyfriend loves you the way you are, and you should too ❤. cosmetic surgeries are expensive and aren't even guaranteed to work. (Breast implants usually need redone every 10 years, and sometimes get infected.) If you're getting plastic surgery solely because of self-esteem, don't do it. The self esteem problems won't be fixed- and you'll find something else to be insecure about. Fix the problem at the root; learn to love your body, even if it's hard.

Goochbreaker · Answer

Aren't you happy that your boyfriend is attracted to you as you are? Who are you trying to attract by changing yourself? You are a damn fool if you do this, a damnnnn fool. One man's affection and devotion to you should be enough for your self esteem, if it's not, look within your own mind, not to the surgery

MsPinkUnicorn · Answer

Clearly i fucking loves you and loves you they way you are and he thinks you are beautiful the way you are and like dont fix it if its not broken you are perfect the way you are and he only wants you to understand that
also boobs dont matter they will get bigger anyways once you have a baby and boobs are great but you should still be proud of what you have

Guanfei · Answer

You won't fix your self esteem with surgery. That could even make it worse, to the point you'll keep finding new things to "fix" and spend your time and money changing things that didn't need to be changed.
He doesn't want you to change because he loves you as you are.

butvolca · Answer

Haha don't worry. Open up to him about why you want to get it done and ask for his opinion of why he doesn't want you to do it.
Maybe he already likes you the way you are, which is such a great thing, isn't it?
Talk it out with him. Maybe ask other people close to you. 😃

skykid1992 · Answer

Honestly girls who think surgery is the way are dumb. If you hate your body get your lazy ass in the gym and I promise you will start feeling better about yourself. I have a friend who hate hated hated her body.. she was 250 pounds when she started going to the gym now she 165 pounds big ass nice boobs and loves herself

SmoMan71 · Answer

If you get plastic surgery you are sending him the message that you don’t respect yourself and that you don’t respect his feelings for you. And if you don’t respect yourself for his feelings what point is there in him sticking around?

jubbu · Answer

He loves you for who you are, you should be happy that he's against it, you can work on your low self esteem, think of it as a gift, someone loves your natural beauty. Most men would say go have a plastic surgery and get some add ons.

GingerGuy · Answer

Because he likes you the way you are and there's nothing worse then fake/enhanced breasts. It's a turn off. It's not the real you. He mid as well go get a plastic doll lol

young_and_bi-sexual · Answer

My husband loves me just as I am and would never want to have plastic surgery. He did ask me if I would get my nipples poerced after we got married.

gym4ever · Answer

you have to accept how you are, im not perfect too so what? i dont care what other think about me who are they to judge you haha? and he probably dont want you to get surgery because he love you on way you are natural not like other girls ;:P

jack-o · Answer

That won't help you, I say that in a good way. You're fine how you are, he obviously loves how you look. Plastic surgery is one of things that just takes away from natural beauty of somebody

findingdreamland-1 · Answer

You should be happy. He likes you as you are. Nobody is perfect. WHy do you want to change yourself? You are beautiful as you are.

Nina12346 · Answer

Because he loves you for who you are, you're perfect for him already, why do you want to have fake boobs? Talk to him.

NatePsychologyMajor · Answer

He may think that you are fine just the way you are. What you see and feel that need fix, someone else may think the opposite.

NourSy · Answer

He will change his mind after he sees the new boobies

Badinga · Answer

Well he doesn't want you to look like a sex doll that's all

WickedIsGood · Answer

He doesn't want you to change because you are perfect NOW. Dont feel the need to change, ever.

Kennygirl · Answer

He doesn't want anyone else wanting you more than they already do.

readywriter · Answer

Some people are more resistant to change. Plus it is good now and he doesn't what anything to change that might affect your relationship.

chrissurvivor · Answer

It could be to make you less attractive to others although I doubt that, it could be religion if he's religious, but he's probably just concerned that the surgery could go wrong or something

Krumpir · Answer

If I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't want her to change her look either. He likes you for you, your perfections an dimperfections, pros and cons, goodies and badies. It is YOU. And he likes YOU.

KiaTate · Answer

He thinks your beautiful the way you are and doesn't want to see you change.

JimmyPage · Answer

Maybe he's scared that if you look even better more guys will approach you

vickysun86 · Answer

i think he is right, if you did that, you were not you any more.

krishh0805 · Answer

It's your choice and your boyfriend has no right to tell you no!!! Go for it!!!

freibuis · Answer

Because your probably already perfect. Why would we want to be with some one that looks like everyone else?

JAMmaj · Answer

Maybe it's because he wants you to accept yourself for who you are and he is happy with you no a fake version of you

BOUNTYGUY9 · Answer

l would break up with you as well you need plastic surgery

Sabretooth · Answer

a boob job won't help... well, not in the ways you think

Anonymous · Answer

He loves you just the way you are without any alterations.

RedRobin · Answer

He already thinks you're pretty

Anonymous · Answer

He loves you the way you are. And he's right yoh shouldn't do it.

Anonymous · Answer

He wants to see the real you he doesn't like fake things

Tgec2003 · Answer

Because he wants You Not the fake stuff

NerdInDenial · Answer

He assumes you’ll leave him.

CrazyyChick · Answer

Because he loves you for who you are

johnhunter15 · Answer

He likes you the way you are

IndianGuy34 · Answer

I think he should accept you as you are..

UsernameMadness · Answer

He loves you as you are.

Revolver_ · Answer

He doesn't care about your feelings

Anonymous · Answer

Men want natural women. Not shallow fake dolls

SuccessfulHornDog · Answer

Have you asked him?

bernardmeza · Answer

Leave him

Why doesn't my boyfriend want me to get plastic surgery?

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