Boyfriend doesn’t text me “goodnight” anymore?

[Anonymous]

He used to text me “goodnight (my name) ☺️” nearly every night. But, now he is using his phone less. And he is just falling asleep without texting me :/ i know it shouldn’t be a big deal. But, it makes me feel he isn’t thinking of me and it makes me feel loved less :/

[LordFarquaad1]

Probably nothing. Just tell him how you feel. Best way to go about it. I got to comfortable in my relationship and ended up neglecting my girlfriend ended up badly for a while.

[Asker]

I feel he takes me for granted a lot :/ he expects me to be there and understand 100%. But, it hurts my feelings when he doesn’t think “oh, I’ll tell her goodnight”. He used to, all the time. But, it makes me really sad now. Especially because we are kind of long distance while i am at college.

I told him “this makes me feel you are distancing yourself from me” and he got upset i said that. He said “why are you thinking negatively of me when i don’t answer you back right away. Or if i stop when i fall asleep”

[LordFarquaad1]

Yeah it's hard for some guys to be understanding. He probably feels self conscious and resentment because of the distance.

[TJinFL]

It's not. He's comfortable knowing that you know he cares and visa versa. Don't overanalyze. Best to talk not text in important issues:)

[Asker]

Unfortunately, i brought it up to him. I told him it made me feel he was distancing himself. He got very upset by that. I tried to explain to him how i felt. But, he seems mad now. So, in the end. I said “what i am thinking probably isn’t the case. You are just focusing on other things. I will try and understand” sadly this was through text.

[TJinFL]

Face to face or Skype chat. When you text you cannot hear his voice to tell if he's upset happy sad etc. It's just words on a screen no emotion behind them...

[pinayfit]

Just talk to him and ask him tell him how you feel

[Asker]

I did. He got upset. Maybe i didn’t address it in the best way.

[pinayfit]

Maybe he's not into you anymore? And he's just afraid to admit it?

[Asker]

When i asked why he didn’t say goodnight, he did react kind of defensively... i mean, i said to him “lol where did you go? You keep leaving me hanging man lol”. And he said “leaving you hanging? What do you mean? It’s just texts messages. Sorry i haven’t been using my phone a lot lately”

[Asker]

And, then like, i said “to me it feels like distance from you” and then he said “is this what you do when i don’t reply? You think negatively and make up scenarios about what i could be doing? You can just judge my character” so I don't know, this was said through text. I don't know his tone of it all. But, he seemed so defensive

[pinayfit]

Do you guys see each other?

[Asker]

Yes. 1-2 times a week, or every other week. I go away to College now, so not as often as we did. We try to though.

[pinayfit]

Oh wow , try to ignore him and dont nag too much , he will come to his senses. Act like you are not interested

[rboshk]

Some things get old. Texting good night no longer gets him excited, it's more of a chore now. I'm positive that he is still interested in you. Things change over time. He start again if you ask him. Guys usually don't do stuff like that if you don't ask them to.

[Bstokes]

You could try texting him goodnight for a few days and he might restart texting you goodnight.

[SnapTsch]

Maybe he has more things on priority than you

[Asker]

Then why even be with me? :-

[SnapTsch]

Because its not always easy to let things go
Are you two having sex?

[Asker]

I see him 1-2x a week (on weekends or every other) because i go to College an hour away from him now. We usually do whenever I’m in town.

[SnapTsch]

There you have your answer

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[SnapTsch]

Probably the emotional and romantic aspect of the relationship is fading away and it is becoming more about the sex

[Asker]

Most of our relationship consists of talking to each other... we have sex 1-2x a week? Sometimes less lol

[SnapTsch]

Then you might be overthinking this
Maybe he just sucks at texting

[Asker]

It just makes me feel sad. That, before he goes to sleep, he is not thinking of me and wanting to text me :(

[SnapTsch]

Its only natural
Id feel that too

[Asker]

But, he also isn’t really the super lovey dovey type... but still, he used to text me “goodnight”. Maybe i overthought it, he got upset. I made it seem i was judging his character... :/