What should I do if my boyfriend is ignoring me?

[Anonymous]

ok so me and my boyfriend are in an online relationship (I do not want to hear about what a bad idea this is) . We met about 3 months ago and we talked almost everyday until a few weeks ago. He is not online as often as he used to be and when he is online he doesn't talk to me unless I say hi first. I try to make conversation with him and he gives me one word answers and is really hard to talk to. It never used to be like this at all. He was always the one chasing me! He has even spoke of being together forever. I tried talking to him about it and he gave me some excuses that I was satisfied with and he said he still wants me to come visit him but then nothing changed after that. He still didn't go online as often. I think he might be just taking me for granted. Should I play hard to get and wait for him to contact me? I am afraid that could only make it worse because he might wait for a long time before contacting me. Last week we didn't talk for 6 days and I finally contacted him. I'm so confused. What should I do?

[ohmygollygarsh]

I'm assuming that you've never met before in real life? I personally met my current boyfriend online. We talked every single day for 4-5 hours for a month before we met in person (for the record, it was during the summer and I had nothing better to do with my time so us talking so much was aok.) Anyway, as much s you say you don't want to hear how bad of an idea it is to have an online relationship, I personally can't imagine having a purely online relationship. We do live about an hour from each other... since I am always so busy with school and he's always busy with work, we don't get to see each other as often as normal couples. Even so, we make it a point to see each other at least every other weekend (with me either going to spend the weekend with him or him coming to see me at school for the day, since he doesn't like sleeping over since I have a roommate.) The days that we don't see each other, we talk for an hour or two, whether it be sporadic texting throughout the day or an aim convo or talking on the telephone.

Through lots of bad romantic experiences, I have figured out that my number one dating rule is to let the boy come to you, not the other way around. If he wants to talk to you, he's going to talk to you. If he wants to see you, he's going to fight tooth and nail to see you. I know this rule is sexist, but seriously, think about it, it works, as annoying as it maybe be. That's not to say that a little "Hey, I'm just thinking about you" text isn't OK every once in a while, but he should be making the effort. You're worth it!

Now, my point of all of this basically is that if he's not even trying to talking to you, it's probably because he doesn't want to. I mean, you don't even see him in person... for all you know, he has a real-life girlfriend and he was just online screwing with your mind. Just leave him alone. I think your best bet is to just move on and find someone that you can see and touch and feel in real life. It'll make you happier in the long run, I would know.

[ohmygollygarsh]

Now that I think about it, my last relationship was almost the same. I was always chasing him, I'd have to make all the effort if we were going to have a conversation, he was always too busy to come see me even though he had plenty of time to go get stupid with his best friends. He made me out to be this crazy, obsessive girlfriend when really he was the sh*tty one in the relationship! Ater we broke up I found out that he was having sex with the girl that sat next to me in english class.

[Asker]

I'm sorry to hear that but it's not the same. He was always chasing me before this happened and I think if I back off a bit then that will fix things.

[Trihill]

he's being hot/cold...you are also being the same...together you are playing each other off different wavelengths...you both need to get back in synch...communicate like chess, you make a move then wait...he will make a move eventually...if no move, then it's definitely over...also consider the next time you are both talking to figure out how often you plan on talking to each other whether daily or weekly or longer

[Asker]

How am I being hot and cold?

[Trihill]

You are digging for answers when he gives single word responses...you are trying to make conversations that come off to him probably like the Spanish Inquisition where you basically trap his responses...you are being needy/controlling...the frequency for communicating seems to vary from short to long, ie hot and cold

[Asker]

I'm trying not to be needy. If I don't make conversation then we won't talk at all and then things will just get worse. OK so what do you think I should do if I don't try to talk to him?

[Trihill]

A healthy relationship is one which has daily communication...you need to strive for that frequency...for now talk to him when he wants to, but you also need to get into the habit of establishing a more defined precedence of the next time for conversing and he needs to keep on it otherwise break up is the only solution

[Asker]

I agree that we need to talk a lot more often. I don't want to sound needy by asking him to talk to me more. If he wanted to talk wouldn't he just talk to me? We used to have a time when we both went online to talk but we gradually stopped doing that. I guess we could set up another time but I don't want to force him to talk to me if he doesn't want to. I wish he would just tell me if he wasn't interested in me anymore but he sayd he still is.

[Trihill]

If he wants to talk, he will talk

[Trihill]

he has a tummy ache from eating too much candy...take that for an analogy as to the notion of "we used to talk a lot"...has he found new candy or is he bored with his old favorite candy?

[Asker]

Idk I wish he would tell me so we could deal with it.

[melanieeeB]

calm down girl, he will text you, there is a reason why he is your boyfriend , but he is not obligeded to text you every hour, he still has his own life going on and just do your thing and let him do his, he will text you if he has time

also you don't have to text everyday with him , it's so much nicer to talk in person tham text every little thing that just happened :) but just my opinion

[Browneye57]

That would be 'past'.

All that description isn't necessary - he's just fed up with all the drama. You need to understand that guys just aren't into all that. Consider your relationship has imploded and move on with your life. If he contacts you then take it from there. Otherwise don't expect to hear from him.
If you want clarity you could always call him or meet up with him face to face - the texting thing is a fail for a lot of reasons.

[marievee]

I tried meeting up with him to clarify things, yet he never replied... iam just worried 6 years being with him and for him to just throw it all away in a second makes me confuse about it...

[Browneye57]

Six years? And this is all ya got? Yeah, something just isn't adding up here.
After a couple or three it's time to shit of get off the pot. Marry or move on. Geesh.

[SimplePotato]

Okay i saw what that other guy said about him cheating and how all guys do this and have fake contacts, you need to go through his phone, etc. etc., i honestly thought it was a joke cause its so ridiculous. I love my girlfriend very much as well and would never cheat, but sometimes i forget to text back and i look on insta just automatically. My point is, dont turn this into something it isn't. Just cause he doesn't text back within 3 hours, doesn't mean something about your relationship.

[SimplePotato]

Like just, relax, people get busy with stuff, everything is fine. And if you're still insecure about it, just talk with him about it

[Glittergirl4]

I agree, I do that too sometimes. It's just that, with the way society is now and social media always talking about cheating, people get scared that is gonna happen to them. I've never been cheated on but I have gotten hurt by a guy before and so I have a hard time trusting someone else with my heart. Thanks so much for your input :)

[SimplePotato]

You're very welcome 😊, hope everything turns out okay.

[RedRobin]

He sounds really immature. Just text him explaining why the rumour isn't true and tell him that if he doesn't respond you're going to break up with him.

[Anonymous Asker]

But Idek if that's the reason why he's not responding

[RedRobin]

Then just rext him and tell him if he does say what's going on then you're breaking up

[Anonymous Asker]

Okay

[obi-wan_kenobi]

Ok I'm going to point the finger at very one here! 1 your brother sounds rude, he should mind his own business! 2 your boyfriend shouldn't keep you out at 3am at night and 3 keep your phone charged

[marievee]

It was my fault cause i didn't want to leave yet but my brother doesn't seem to understand that and thinks its my boyfriend...

[girlygirl817]

do you want it to get boring? try NOT to make a habit of talking constantly / texting everyday or every couple hours. Maybe the conversation wasn't very exciting?

[Anonymous]

Go and confront him face to face. That's pretty childish

[Anonymous Asker]

I'll have to wait until school tomorrow. I'm dying not talking to him right now tho 😣😔 I hate how he have even tells me the problem he just assumes things

[Opinion Owner]

You have no idea what he is thinking. So chill..
Besides if he believes any random strangers word over his trust in you; it doesn't say much about him. Does it?

[Anonymous]

Yes. He's cheating. 1 hrs 1/2 - 2 hrs is just too long. You should pop over and surprise the guy. Just to be sure.

[Glittergirl4]

I've actually been afraid of this even though he has told me he loves me and wouldn't ever cheat on me that I could go through his messages (I didn't). I don't feel like he's good looking enough to draw in another girl honestly, I just find his personality very attractive. Do you think I could talk to him about this because he is too far away to just go over and surprise him?

[Opinion Owner]

No. If you wanna know for sure "stake out". When you see him go through his phone as well. Hello! - Throw some spyware on it.

[Glittergirl4]

I've never seen anything weird when he texting people around me. He's always texting his guy friends and I know most of them.

[Opinion Owner]

It's just a cover up. Most of my guy friends are like that. They'll have girls in there phone named Chris, Pat and Sam - all women. I'm almost certain this guys a cheater. Are you able to get a peek inside some windows?

[Glittergirl4]

I know but I actually have met the guys haha I know who they are, and no his room is upstairs

[Glittergirl4]

Maybe I can see if I give him my passcode to my phone if he will give me his.

[Opinion Owner]

Aww man ): you're not following through.

[Glittergirl4]

What do you mean?

[Opinion Owner]

You have to catch this guy!

[Opinion Owner]

Don't be another victim.

[Glittergirl4]

I won't I'll figure it out thanks for your input

[Sadly_It_Fell_Off]

So who told you what the brother said?

[marievee]

I heard everything when they were arguing over the phone...

[Sadly_It_Fell_Off]

I see. I am slightly confused by what you've written. So if you overheard everything when they were arguing, you were already with your boyfriend? Because it says when you got home you called your boyfriend to stay the night.

[marievee]

Yes i was with him when my brother called him looking for me cause it was late already. Then i got home and argued with my brother then thats when i told him if i could spend the night.

[Sadly_It_Fell_Off]

Ok, thanks. So what did you say to your boyfriend when the call was over?

[marievee]

I told him if i could go over then cause i didn't understand what he said he sounded asleep already and he never replied i assumed he was asleep already so the next day i called him and txted him and nothing... so i didn't bother him anymore.

[Sadly_It_Fell_Off]

He's acting out because you didn't take his side during the row with your brother.
I think if you've tried to make amends and he is non-responsive, then I would either go round there and knock on his door or send him a final text saying that you tried and its on him that he didn't have enough good sense to try and resolve any issues with yourself and your brother. It was 3am in the morning, the brother was pissed and got abusive and needs to apologise.

[Leandri]

Could be that he's just tired of texting

[spakadoo]

Find out what your brother said to him.

[marievee]

They both were talking shit to eachother... but i don't think he will tell him to leave me alone...

[spakadoo]

You don't know until you find out.

[Anonymous]

tell him that if he keeps ignoring you it is over

[AmIWrong]

Go to his house, and confront him

[Anonymous Asker]

I can't. I'm only 15

[AmIWrong]

Tell him if he doesn't answer its best we break up

[Anonymous Asker]

Okay