Depends how long the date lasted and what topics/behaviours you had time to cover/encounter on that date. But to be honest I had 0 chemistry with my now fiancé when we first out after having chatted for 5 months. It was stress and so on, it was a very short date. Then we didn't meet for another 3 months and boy did we suck each other's souls out that day haha. My best friend also didn't like the guy on first date but now they are dating for 4 years and marrying. I would recommend if there was a little distance in time from the first date to the second. Depends on intensity of your communication but take at least a week or two.
Someone once told me that you should ask yourself the following question with any date: "Would I like to see this person just one more time?". If the answer is yes, go on another date. If the answer is no, don't go on another date. I think this is very important in the beginning, because it takes the pressure off on having to feel sparks or something and also (if you're like me) take the pressure of deciding if this is the one, if this is the guy I spend the rest of my life with haha. Which of course is silly.
It depends on how much work you're willing to put in.
Is he a really good friend and you think you could make it work eventually? Was he someone a friend set you up with? Was he someone you heard really good things about?
Then sure, give him a second chance. Not every date will sweep you off of your feet. Maybe he was distracted, or too nervous, etc. You shouldn't judge him on the first date.
Or was he just someone you met and don't really know anything about him? Or someone you met online?
Then that's up to you. I personally would just appreciate the experience, but move on.
If it's just a "lack of spark" on the first date, then, sure, we can try again.
If there were big red flags that were uncovered, then almost certainly there isn't going to be another date.
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I don't think I would go to a second date with someone I'm not feeling it with. I've been on dates where both have been extremely nervous, but it hasn't affected the spark.
It depends, I didn't feel spark on the first date with my fiance. I felt like we might not be compatible, but his prior impression was strong enough for me go on another date with him.
Eventually, the spark came. However, I normally won't see someone again if I don't feel anything, he was a special case.
It usually takes me months or years to realize I like somebody so I wouldn't reject somebody if I didn't like them after the first date.
I would say maybe.. depends on how bad the date went or if it was a good date but no spark..
If it was a good date, but no spark at all, I would suggest friendship. It the date went really bad, and he still asked for a second date I would say maybe or NO. Depending on the situation. Like you say, nervousness and stress can make it a bad date. And I would probably say yes to a second date if that was the case. But if it was just bad in a way he was rude to me or other, lacking manners (not talking about paying for food or drinks, but simple things like holding the door, being polite and not making a fool of himself, thinking sex is on the menu just cuz it was a date), more interested in himself than actually get to know me as well etc, I would say no and never see the person again. It all depends on the outcome. If he is shy I get why it wasn't a great date, and yeah a second chance is on the table. And you either have a spark or no spark, so why prolong his/her suffering by saying yes to 2nd date if you know there is only a friendship as result?
Depends on a lot of factors!
Those I don't.
Wrong kind of energy in combo with matching nonverbal cues that's direct signs of certain mental problems/diseases/disorders/personality traits.
Certain kinds of immature behaviors.
Behaviors.
Wrong kind of attitude.
Energy vamps.
Have gone on to many dates/meetings with all kind of people.
The most common ones are those suffering from fairytale complex that strongly believe in that fairytale magic with magical sparkle from nothing no matter how closed up they are for any kind of emotions to begin to flow between 😂
First off all you must be open on the right pathways, secondly you must trigger a lot of different ones in the other one and yourself also the other one must do the same (this is called building emotions) sometimes it happens naturally but most times someone must trigger a first impression and get response with acknowledge and so on.
Then you have biological matching also mental, those two do most modern humans ignore.
A lot look for lust attractions that are the fast ones when it comes to online dating (most common amongst females) they think they have found the one and so on.
They are the most easy target since it is the most simple one to trigger in humans, there the players/pua's/fuck-girls fuck-boys comes in, they use those easy triggers to get some no matter the consequences.
That's a lot more and most aren't understandable or comprehendible for the majority because of their bios.
The simplest thing is to go on is bad gut feelings are most times something off, no feelings or a lot can be something.
Never go on desperation to have one, not be alone, settle just to have something no matter what.
Depends if we got along or not. Sometimes it just takes a second look. But you have to have like a week between that. Dude I'm with now is like that. Thought he was decent but didn't feel a spark. A couple weeks went by and then i noticed myself wondering about him and what he was up to so I messaged him and we started talking and that spark came flash crazy as he'll like unexpected lightning. Sometimes I think you just need a buffer space to let your mind relax to find out what you really feel/think about things and people. Romeo and Juliet fucking killed themselves. The tragedy of star crossed lovers love at first sight type relationships are fleeting always and deadly at best. People should stop romanticizing that shit.
It depends. I went on a lot of dates with different guys last year as I tried online dating.
The first one I really really couldn't see anything more than a potential friend, i just got that feeling from him.
The second one I was already a little annoyed with as he was late and the conversation felt dull, uninteresting and I didn't find him very attractive.
The one after that I liked the sound of and we got on well writing to each other. However I was not attracted to him in the slightest when we met and I felt uncomfortable and awkward around him for the date. I gave him 2 more chances to see if it was nervousness and I felt a gut instinct not to take it further and when he kissed me it felt all wrong so I told him I didn't see it going any further.
Yes because the spark is bullshit... sorry for the language. Feeling the spark isn't something I see as a good sign in a relationship. I take that to mean I'm getting attached too quickly. It mean my hormones are going to get out of control very quickly and I will lose all perspective on the relationship. I want a relationship that will last once the hormones wear off. At the same time I want to be able to fully enjoy and embrace being twitterpated by my partner. I want to know before I fall in love that they can be my best friend and that we can get along with or without the hormones. I'd be far more likely to seriously consider a relationship if I didn't feel the spark at first.
I mean possibly, so long as the first date didn't go horribly or they didn't express a view or have something that would be a big enough reason alone for me to be uninterested. I mean if it seemed like they just were nervous or that parts of the date went well, but other parts the atmosphere was a bit stymied, then sure if they expressed an interest for a second date I'd probably agree, to see if I could be more conclusive about whether or not I'm interested.
Yes dear, definitely yes.
Simple fact, is that there are people who needs more time than others to emotionally and mentally connect with others.
Sometimes, after few dates we feel like we are getting closer, other times, drifting apart.
I always try to give it few more tries. Some people have insecurities or are too shy at first, so giving them another chance would make them a bit more comfortable around us, thus, leading to:
-potential lover
-good friend
-not meant to be / don't get along much
Thank you for sharing this question :-)
Cheers!!!
I don't really measure a relationship based on sparks. Mabie I'm just not sencitive to those kinds of vibes. I don't know, mabie I am wrong, but I think relationships are built over time. If I ask someone out, I generally look forward to multiple dates. Even if I don't think highly about them at first.
If she tells me she doesn't want to go on a second date because she has no feelings for me, I assume there's an alterior motive.
1) Another guy.
2) She noticed repelling qualities about me.
3) She wasn't interested in the first place, went out with me because of external pressures.
4) Going through something, can't handle a relationship at the moment.
5) Many other reasons.
My first reaction to this post was "Does my dick get hard if there is a spark?" But as I said, mabie I am not the sensitive tipe.
Maybe I'm just autistic (and I am), but I've never felt this thing called a "spark" or connection--as a lot of people put it--with any girl I've ever dated. Yes, there is or was a connection (of mutual sexual desire and interest), but I never felt it in at the emotional, "vibe" level. I get the sense that this spark is based on people's intuition of other which people, which I lack. Instead, I make judgement calls, based on prior experience and observation.
In my opinion, to base a connection on this unknown variable is like taking a test where you don't know how well you did. You can guess, but you can't know the answer.
I have, which is why I said no. For me “the spark” is a connection, wanting to know someone more or when they call again the feeling of “it wasn’t awful, might as well” as opposed to a boring date or them calling again and dreading seeing them again.
The few times I did continue to see someone even though there was no “spark”, by the third or fourth date I would just be annoyed with them. They would text and I wouldn’t want to answer. Not that there was anything wrong with them, I just wasn’t attracted to them. And trying again did not change that.
This is actually the first time I voted. Personally I've NEVER been on a date, so yeah I'd give a second chance, hell I'm QUITE sure I'd need a 5th chance.
I somehow always end up in the friendzone before I even get a date.
Of course I would, assuming no big red flags, ofc. Because I know, personally, it's very easy for me to unintentionally keep people at arm's distance, emotionally-speaking. It happens. Nobody's perfect and we're not always able to be our 100% selves and all that, so... I always give people the benefit of the doubt
Yes because my 1st date was a mess. We didn’t talk much and I barely ate it was so awkward and quiet I was like mmm no but I gave him a second chance and now we’re married!
Dating is pointless in my opinion. How many times has someone grown on you, that you ended up liking them for how they act, etc. I know it took me months of exposure to like my ex. And when I fell I fell hard. I say make friends with people, and then try dating. Not date them and then try being friendly
Absolutely!
Agreeing with yashbanka03's opinion 'there could be so many reasons like feeling of nervousness of first meeting, the place isn't good enough'..
Even if I can sense something is not right within the first date, I can just gently ask what is going on. It would be foolish to jump to conclusions.
That being said, I'm always ready!
Yes, I don't think first date sparks are important for long term, its like you have fire, a spark may look shiny and nice, but it can blow out just as fast
A small flame may not provide much heat and light at first but slow cerfual build of it can make a nice warm and bright fire that is more stable
Why not, I mean you might have a spark with a player who knows, an he miss up with your feelings, don't judge so fast, you might lose a good one.
Have some good time and make it clear from the beginning this might end with a yes or no for both of you.
Are you choosing a lifetime partner or you just want to spend some time?
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