Would you give him/her another chance if you don’t feel any spark on the first date?

Maybe there could have been contributing factors like nervousness or stress from other unrelated matters that ruined the first date in some sorta way.

And you’re willing to give that person another chance? Go on another date with the same person perhaps?
Would you give him/her another chance if you don’t feel any spark on the first date?
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  • No
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Most Helpful Guys

  • It depends on how much work you're willing to put in.

    Is he a really good friend and you think you could make it work eventually? Was he someone a friend set you up with? Was he someone you heard really good things about?

    Then sure, give him a second chance. Not every date will sweep you off of your feet. Maybe he was distracted, or too nervous, etc. You shouldn't judge him on the first date.

    Or was he just someone you met and don't really know anything about him? Or someone you met online?

    Then that's up to you. I personally would just appreciate the experience, but move on.

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  • If it's just a "lack of spark" on the first date, then, sure, we can try again.

    If there were big red flags that were uncovered, then almost certainly there isn't going to be another date.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Depends how long the date lasted and what topics/behaviours you had time to cover/encounter on that date. But to be honest I had 0 chemistry with my now fiancé when we first out after having chatted for 5 months. It was stress and so on, it was a very short date. Then we didn't meet for another 3 months and boy did we suck each other's souls out that day haha. My best friend also didn't like the guy on first date but now they are dating for 4 years and marrying. I would recommend if there was a little distance in time from the first date to the second. Depends on intensity of your communication but take at least a week or two.

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    • I Iike the examples you gave! 😊 I Guess there’s still hope for people out there!

  • Someone once told me that you should ask yourself the following question with any date: "Would I like to see this person just one more time?". If the answer is yes, go on another date. If the answer is no, don't go on another date. I think this is very important in the beginning, because it takes the pressure off on having to feel sparks or something and also (if you're like me) take the pressure of deciding if this is the one, if this is the guy I spend the rest of my life with haha. Which of course is silly.

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    • I meant 'after any date', not 'with any date'. Ah well, you probably got that :p

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    • Love that! Screenshoted that line, very helpful for dating especially with my indecision and pickyness

    • Glad I could help ^^

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 168

  • This is actually the first time I voted. Personally I've NEVER been on a date, so yeah I'd give a second chance, hell I'm QUITE sure I'd need a 5th chance.

    I somehow always end up in the friendzone before I even get a date.

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  • Of course I would, assuming no big red flags, ofc. Because I know, personally, it's very easy for me to unintentionally keep people at arm's distance, emotionally-speaking. It happens. Nobody's perfect and we're not always able to be our 100% selves and all that, so... I always give people the benefit of the doubt

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  • I mean possibly, so long as the first date didn't go horribly or they didn't express a view or have something that would be a big enough reason alone for me to be uninterested. I mean if it seemed like they just were nervous or that parts of the date went well, but other parts the atmosphere was a bit stymied, then sure if they expressed an interest for a second date I'd probably agree, to see if I could be more conclusive about whether or not I'm interested.

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  • Depends on a lot of factors!

    Those I don't.
    Wrong kind of energy in combo with matching nonverbal cues that's direct signs of certain mental problems/diseases/disorders/personality traits.
    Certain kinds of immature behaviors.
    Behaviors.
    Wrong kind of attitude.
    Energy vamps.

    Have gone on to many dates/meetings with all kind of people.
    The most common ones are those suffering from fairytale complex that strongly believe in that fairytale magic with magical sparkle from nothing no matter how closed up they are for any kind of emotions to begin to flow between 😂

    First off all you must be open on the right pathways, secondly you must trigger a lot of different ones in the other one and yourself also the other one must do the same (this is called building emotions) sometimes it happens naturally but most times someone must trigger a first impression and get response with acknowledge and so on.
    Then you have biological matching also mental, those two do most modern humans ignore.

    A lot look for lust attractions that are the fast ones when it comes to online dating (most common amongst females) they think they have found the one and so on.
    They are the most easy target since it is the most simple one to trigger in humans, there the players/pua's/fuck-girls fuck-boys comes in, they use those easy triggers to get some no matter the consequences.

    That's a lot more and most aren't understandable or comprehendible for the majority because of their bios.

    The simplest thing is to go on is bad gut feelings are most times something off, no feelings or a lot can be something.
    Never go on desperation to have one, not be alone, settle just to have something no matter what.

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  • Absolutely!

    Agreeing with yashbanka03's opinion 'there could be so many reasons like feeling of nervousness of first meeting, the place isn't good enough'..

    Even if I can sense something is not right within the first date, I can just gently ask what is going on. It would be foolish to jump to conclusions.

    That being said, I'm always ready!

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  • Personally I have a 3 date rule. If I don't feel anything after 3 meetings, it's done. If the first date is absolutely repulsive, like my last one, then move on immediately of course. You are questioning it since you are asking, so give it another 2 dates and see how you feel then.

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  • I got ghosted on my first date with an individual despite me thinking it went quite well, so I wasn't sure what happened there. I think the opportunity to have a second chance really depends on the individual.

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  • I don't think basing a relationship off of whether you feel a "spark" is a good idea. So yes. What is a "spark" by the way? Everyone uses this word but I've never felt it so I don't understand it.

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    • Chemistry.

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    • I remember meeting a guy back then and feeling the spark, or maybe it’s cos he was really touchy-feely. I went for a “date” today and didn’t feel the spark at all. It felt like he was just a Friend. But then I’m taken, so maybe that’s why!

    • It could be. I don't know though, I don't understand anything to due with romance or love lol.

  • Im a very unemotional person when it comes to meeting new people, so i tend to always just see where it goes and i dont mind discarding them afterwards if it doesn't go well

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  • In the essence of any relationship you can’t jump from one to the next it will cause conflict but with that being said everyone deserves a second chance

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  • Dating is pointless in my opinion. How many times has someone grown on you, that you ended up liking them for how they act, etc. I know it took me months of exposure to like my ex. And when I fell I fell hard. I say make friends with people, and then try dating. Not date them and then try being friendly

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  • I sometimes met people and changed my opinion the next time we met drastically. So giving another chance is worth it.

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    • I agree completely, actually, I think 3 is a better magic number (of given chances) than 2 in order to have some insight about the person, you never know if you two will click because there are various factors involved around you also...
      it is just stupid just to give one only chance to something and it's even better to give it at least three

  • Your answer

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  • I usually give it a second chance to see if things are better the second time since we both may have felt awkward on that first date and confused it with having no chemistry but sometimes you just know that first time

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  • Why not, I mean you might have a spark with a player who knows, an he miss up with your feelings, don't judge so fast, you might lose a good one.

    Have some good time and make it clear from the beginning this might end with a yes or no for both of you.

    Are you choosing a lifetime partner or you just want to spend some time?

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  • I think (in my limited experience) that you need that spark. Chemistry. If you aren't excited about the person when you first meet imagine how it will be down the road.

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  • Everyone deserves a second chance. Unless they were disrespectful or portrayed views that you found to be offensive. Then try again, just act natural try not to force anything; if its natural it will work out.

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  • Yes, given the chance.
    Obviously it's easy to misjudge someone in a short period of time. But how often will you get a second chance?

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  • You don't get a raging inferno right from the start, you have to make a spark and temper it, build it up to the raging fire.

    Point being sometimes you have to give things a bit of time you can't expect to build something meaningful during a first encounter. First impressions exactly that a first impression, you got give yourself time to see what's there.

    the 3 date rule is good thing to go by, if you don't feel anything by the 3rd date then usually there isn't anything there.

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  • If I went on a date with a girl I met through a dating site or any other manner and we didn't have a spark, perhaps I thought she was boring or just didn't feel anything from the date. Then no, there's no reason to try for a second date.

    I would need to feel some sort of intellectual or personality attraction to her during the first date, to consider a second date.

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What Girls Said 70

  • I don't think I would go to a second date with someone I'm not feeling it with. I've been on dates where both have been extremely nervous, but it hasn't affected the spark.

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    • Woww you have a lot of followers your gag famous

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    • Your just echoing my sentiment: that mutual anxiety isn't grounds to not date again (I further went on to imply that anxiety is a spark in disguise). My issue was with the immature, naive idea that there must be love at first sight; that first date where there is no spark is no date at all. How many of us have learned--by the time we finished grade school and entered college, that love at first sight (or the "spark," if you will) is the stuff of fairy tales? Of frogs into princes? I would think that every well-adjusted individual has reached this basic milestone by that time...

    • A spark isn't love. A spark is a spark of interest. I wouldn't go on a second date with a person I'm not interested in, while I would go on a first date with a person I'm not interested in.

  • It depends, I didn't feel spark on the first date with my fiance. I felt like we might not be compatible, but his prior impression was strong enough for me go on another date with him.

    Eventually, the spark came. However, I normally won't see someone again if I don't feel anything, he was a special case.

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  • It usually takes me months or years to realize I like somebody so I wouldn't reject somebody if I didn't like them after the first date.

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  • I would say maybe.. depends on how bad the date went or if it was a good date but no spark..
    If it was a good date, but no spark at all, I would suggest friendship. It the date went really bad, and he still asked for a second date I would say maybe or NO. Depending on the situation. Like you say, nervousness and stress can make it a bad date. And I would probably say yes to a second date if that was the case. But if it was just bad in a way he was rude to me or other, lacking manners (not talking about paying for food or drinks, but simple things like holding the door, being polite and not making a fool of himself, thinking sex is on the menu just cuz it was a date), more interested in himself than actually get to know me as well etc, I would say no and never see the person again. It all depends on the outcome. If he is shy I get why it wasn't a great date, and yeah a second chance is on the table. And you either have a spark or no spark, so why prolong his/her suffering by saying yes to 2nd date if you know there is only a friendship as result?

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  • Yes because my 1st date was a mess. We didn’t talk much and I barely ate it was so awkward and quiet I was like mmm no but I gave him a second chance and now we’re married!

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  • Yes, if i liked him as person. I wouldn't instantly dismiss a guy just because i didn't feel a spark between us on the first date

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  • Depends if we got along or not. Sometimes it just takes a second look. But you have to have like a week between that. Dude I'm with now is like that. Thought he was decent but didn't feel a spark. A couple weeks went by and then i noticed myself wondering about him and what he was up to so I messaged him and we started talking and that spark came flash crazy as he'll like unexpected lightning. Sometimes I think you just need a buffer space to let your mind relax to find out what you really feel/think about things and people. Romeo and Juliet fucking killed themselves. The tragedy of star crossed lovers love at first sight type relationships are fleeting always and deadly at best. People should stop romanticizing that shit.

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  • Yes, I don't think first date sparks are important for long term, its like you have fire, a spark may look shiny and nice, but it can blow out just as fast

    A small flame may not provide much heat and light at first but slow cerfual build of it can make a nice warm and bright fire that is more stable

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  • It depends. I went on a lot of dates with different guys last year as I tried online dating.
    The first one I really really couldn't see anything more than a potential friend, i just got that feeling from him.
    The second one I was already a little annoyed with as he was late and the conversation felt dull, uninteresting and I didn't find him very attractive.
    The one after that I liked the sound of and we got on well writing to each other. However I was not attracted to him in the slightest when we met and I felt uncomfortable and awkward around him for the date. I gave him 2 more chances to see if it was nervousness and I felt a gut instinct not to take it further and when he kissed me it felt all wrong so I told him I didn't see it going any further.

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    • At least you don’t have the “what if” dilemma hehe 😇

    • Not at all :P I'm someone who trusts and follows my instincts a lot, and if something doesn't feel right then it probably isn't. I'm also very headstrong and determined so know exaclty what I'm looking for. I shudder when I think what sex would've been like with those guys or making out!

    • You said you have him two more chances. With a login name like your 'comawhite 666', how can you be certain it wasn't him who was giving the two chances?

  • this is why i dont like dates. takes me much longer than as date to get an idea of a person as well as open up.

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  • Usuaully even before the 1st date I've already talked to this person on several occassions on the phone, I can normally tell by the end of the date if it's worth another one or not. I can understand being nervous at the beginning of a date but if you are still nervous at the end and still awkard, then the people just don't click and I am not going to waste my time or theirs on another date that will have a high probability of being like the first one.

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  • Sorry! Unfortunately I don't give second or third chances. If a person messes up the first time, I tend to back away!!! I only talk to people that impress me and those who give off a good vibe.

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  • If she had glorious hair like that girl then of course I would try to make s connection
    I want those luscious red locks spread over my tummy when we are curled up in bed

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  • Maybe I would, that's called "Not being too quick to judge" lol 😂 but really not sure since I'm not a fan of that saying or having a lot of patience (hopeless patience) but this case doesn't seem 'hopeless enough'.

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  • I think I would because I get awkward and nervous a lot myself, but if it was just apparent for other reasons it wouldn't work there's no sense in leading them on.

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  • As long as the first date wasn't absolutely horrific, yes I'd give another chance. I definitely think you have to work past some nerves and the awkwardness in order to really get to know someone.

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  • The one week date rule. You test them with your interest. First date is the splashing waters. Second your favourite movie of all time. Third you order your favourite food, and have a surprise at your house date. Fourth your favorite thing to do when your bored date. Fifth is your favourite restaurant, and second favourite movie. Sixth date is your choice movie marathon. Seventh is simple the carnival test.

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  • Most of the time you need more than one date to figure out if y’all have chemistry. The first date is usually full of nervousness and anxiousness and it makes people not themselves. They need a second chance to show who they really are

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  • The first date is stressful a moment and people can't really be themselves and sometimes the first impression isn't always the right one so except if the first date was horrible I'd let the person another chance

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  • It all depends. If he ruined the first date by being rude or irresponsible then no.

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