Whenever I go out on a date I always go in the mindset of being happy to pay for anything we do. I'm more concerned about enjoying the time spent with her, in whatever we're doing, then worrying about splitting the bills. I think after a few dates if there'd been no attempt on her part to discuss splitting payment of anything some alarm bells may ring, but don't think it would be the decisive factor in anything
Depends on who asked for the date and how it went. I definitely don’t like gold diggers or ones who think because I’m paying that it means they’re entitled to everything. Fortunately, that was a rare occurrence. And it’s not about being cheap, it’s about being reasonable.
once i had a cool situation in a date. we actually talked about it and she said she wanted to pay for herself. when the waiter came i just payed for both of us before he could ask her to pay. we went to another place that same evening and had a few drinks. she just payed for my drinks while i went to the restroom :) this is the kind of strong woman i like.
if she expects freebees, that's a freaking no go. i want a modern woman not a princess.
I just want her to reach for hwr wallet, she doesn't necessarily has to pay, but what I hate the most about this situation is the talk about how she is "an independent and strong woman", there's no independence there if you are not willing to pay for your services!!!
This one totally depends on the situation. I usually stick with the rule of, if I inviter someone out for a date, I'll expect to pay for it. If I'm invited by her, I am usually under the impression that we are paying our own, or she is paying. But in the end I always make sure I'm in a position where I can pay if needed.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Took Philosophy of Sex and Love last semester... The class was mostly really open about this sort of thing (possibly too open about other things). When discussed in class, the consensus was that if the guy paid... Sex becomes an expectation.
One thing the professor (and I) kept wondering and asking was "Why can't people just say what they want and how they feel"... For example whether to pay or not or whether to have sex or not... General consensus: "You just can't. That's weird".
I always just try and pay but as soon as she try’s or ask to split I like to say either “I’ll get the next time” if it goes well, or let’s just split it at least.
If she doesn’t say anything it depends on what she got and if she’s expecting someone to take care of her verses someone she wants to get to know
I will not be turned of at the first date. But it would be a turn on if she offered. And if at the second date she still doesn't want to share the bill I would probably think if she is worth it. I love a strong independent woman. And I'm also from the Netherlands where this is kinda the norm
I personally think it's a man's duty to pay the first date I have paid before on first dates and the times I have it has made me less interested in the guy because I prefer dominant men who will take charge and make sure I'm taken care of and happy
She said she thinks a guy should pay for the 1st date and i agree if a guy asks me out i will expect him to offer.. because thats how i was raised and man i know act like gentlemen so thats what im use to and thats what i like.. just becwuse its not your style doesn't make us. prostitutes
😂😂😂😂 so I sell sex if I have old fashion views when it. Comes to dating? Got it's not like I have the capability to take care of myself and I am taking care of my self and I have a job but because I like dominant men I'm a prostitute... ok and I guess we know who lacks the capability to support himself or a family if he has one and his wife will definitely wear the pants but hey some women like weak or submissive men
Well whoever asks other should expect to pay. If the person wants to pay then ask "You sure I asked you and am willing to cover the bill? If they are persistent and want to pay for their meal or cocktail then let them. If the server asks immediately when they approach your table "Is this on one" then say yes and pay it.
It is acceptable on a first date for the man to pay. Every date after that, she should at least offer to split. I don't expect her to pay the whole thing, but if she does not GENUINELY offer to split (none of this "I offered but it was a test" horse shit) then she gets browning points in my book. Any woman offering to split on a first date is usually throwing a lame test my way, which automatically drops her down the hotness scale 4 points. Don't fucking offer if you aren't serious.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I personally believe in what is known as “going Dutch” where both pay their own way. If I can’t afford to pay my own way, I won’t go out.
I like your train of thought, and the reason that you can't afford it is perfectly fine, but if he offers to invite you after you gave your reason, you may as well accept the offer. (If it isn't too much)
As much as I dislike it to be expected to pay for both at the first date, it's honestly annoying if we can't meet just because of 5€, and if I really liked you, I couldn't care less about such a little sum.
I would pay anyway but it’s a good sign if she offers to pay
3
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
It’s a turn off but it’s just one of those thing s you chock up to “silly crap girls can’t help but care about and there’s nothing you can do” that you have to put up with.
So yeah it’s a turn off but it’s expected so most guys will just be willing to deal with it.
@pleasestopthis They kinda do to tbh. It's not a risk worth taking, better to just pay and not think about it. There's a point where it's just too high a standard and you're cutting yourself off from too many women.
it depends.. if I had picked the restaurant then it would be okay.. but if the place was picked by her and it turned out to be a super expensive restaurant.. then definitely no.. I’d say bbye to her for sure..
Has everyone lost their man card lately? you're the man. Going out to dinner or whatever you pay. This shouldn't even be a question honestly. Embarrassed for my fellow man to even have to see it.
Why is it a turn off? why you asked for a date if you can't treat her on your first date? Or be honest , ask her dor a date and tell her chip in or pay for it
Because we want to date that person but it's hard to get out the back of our minds that she could be a leech. It's a risk we take. And the truth is well, a lot of girls are like that.
Well how can you know if not even started you already judge that person? Thats why some people relationships are unsuccessful coz of the questions in your minds what if?
Id would say be ready either way it doesn't matter who pays on first date. If its a problem for the guy talk about it. Its about getting to know her as a caring friend and she should be thinking this way also and be ready to express that in all ways.
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Whenever I go out on a date I always go in the mindset of being happy to pay for anything we do. I'm more concerned about enjoying the time spent with her, in whatever we're doing, then worrying about splitting the bills. I think after a few dates if there'd been no attempt on her part to discuss splitting payment of anything some alarm bells may ring, but don't think it would be the decisive factor in anything
Depends on who asked for the date and how it went. I definitely don’t like gold diggers or ones who think because I’m paying that it means they’re entitled to everything. Fortunately, that was a rare occurrence. And it’s not about being cheap, it’s about being reasonable.
yes definitely. i want her to try to pay.
once i had a cool situation in a date. we actually talked about it and she said she wanted to pay for herself. when the waiter came i just payed for both of us before he could ask her to pay.
we went to another place that same evening and had a few drinks. she just payed for my drinks while i went to the restroom :) this is the kind of strong woman i like.
if she expects freebees, that's a freaking no go. i want a modern woman not a princess.
I just want her to reach for hwr wallet, she doesn't necessarily has to pay, but what I hate the most about this situation is the talk about how she is "an independent and strong woman", there's no independence there if you are not willing to pay for your services!!!
This one totally depends on the situation. I usually stick with the rule of, if I inviter someone out for a date, I'll expect to pay for it. If I'm invited by her, I am usually under the impression that we are paying our own, or she is paying. But in the end I always make sure I'm in a position where I can pay if needed.
Took Philosophy of Sex and Love last semester... The class was mostly really open about this sort of thing (possibly too open about other things). When discussed in class, the consensus was that if the guy paid... Sex becomes an expectation.
One thing the professor (and I) kept wondering and asking was "Why can't people just say what they want and how they feel"... For example whether to pay or not or whether to have sex or not... General consensus: "You just can't. That's weird".
I'm glad I didn't have to take that class, I'd be braindead half an hour in.
No.
I always just try and pay but as soon as she try’s or ask to split I like to say either “I’ll get the next time” if it goes well, or let’s just split it at least.
If she doesn’t say anything it depends on what she got and if she’s expecting someone to take care of her verses someone she wants to get to know
I will not be turned of at the first date. But it would be a turn on if she offered. And if at the second date she still doesn't want to share the bill I would probably think if she is worth it. I love a strong independent woman. And I'm also from the Netherlands where this is kinda the norm
I personally think it's a man's duty to pay the first date I have paid before on first dates and the times I have it has made me less interested in the guy because I prefer dominant men who will take charge and make sure I'm taken care of and happy
I second her statement..
Taken care of? So basically you're a lazy shit that's essentially no different to a prostitute.
She said she thinks a guy should pay for the 1st date and i agree if a guy asks me out i will expect him to offer.. because thats how i was raised and man i know act like gentlemen so thats what im use to and thats what i like.. just becwuse its not your style doesn't make us. prostitutes
A guy paying for a first date doesn't mean he's a gentlemen.
You not offering to pay or split does mean you're just a tosser.
😂😂😂😂 so I sell sex if I have old fashion views when it. Comes to dating? Got it's not like I have the capability to take care of myself and I am taking care of my self and I have a job but because I like dominant men I'm a prostitute... ok and I guess we know who lacks the capability to support himself or a family if he has one and his wife will definitely wear the pants but hey some women like weak or submissive men
A man's duty... right.
Men are supposed to care for women
Well whoever asks other should expect to pay. If the person wants to pay then ask "You sure I asked you and am willing to cover the bill? If they are persistent and want to pay for their meal or cocktail then let them. If the server asks immediately when they approach your table "Is this on one" then say yes and pay it.
It is acceptable on a first date for the man to pay. Every date after that, she should at least offer to split. I don't expect her to pay the whole thing, but if she does not GENUINELY offer to split (none of this "I offered but it was a test" horse shit) then she gets browning points in my book. Any woman offering to split on a first date is usually throwing a lame test my way, which automatically drops her down the hotness scale 4 points. Don't fucking offer if you aren't serious.
I personally believe in what is known as “going Dutch” where both pay their own way. If I can’t afford to pay my own way, I won’t go out.
I like your train of thought, and the reason that you can't afford it is perfectly fine, but if he offers to invite you after you gave your reason, you may as well accept the offer. (If it isn't too much)
As much as I dislike it to be expected to pay for both at the first date, it's honestly annoying if we can't meet just because of 5€, and if I really liked you, I couldn't care less about such a little sum.
I would pay anyway but it’s a good sign if she offers to pay
It’s a turn off but it’s just one of those thing s you chock up to “silly crap girls can’t help but care about and there’s nothing you can do” that you have to put up with.
So yeah it’s a turn off but it’s expected so most guys will just be willing to deal with it.
You don't have to put up with that.
@pleasestopthis They kinda do to tbh. It's not a risk worth taking, better to just pay and not think about it. There's a point where it's just too high a standard and you're cutting yourself off from too many women.
I would pay on the first date even if she offered to pay for herself. It would not be a turn off.
it depends.. if I had picked the restaurant then it would be okay.. but if the place was picked by her and it turned out to be a super expensive restaurant.. then definitely no.. I’d say bbye to her for sure..
Hell no, I will talk to the manager and get her a job there clearing tables.
I don’t allow anyone to pay for me unless we’re in an established relationship, and then that’s only because it’s his turn.
Has everyone lost their man card lately? you're the man. Going out to dinner or whatever you pay. This shouldn't even be a question honestly. Embarrassed for my fellow man to even have to see it.
Why is it a turn off? why you asked for a date if you can't treat her on your first date? Or be honest , ask her dor a date and tell her chip in or pay for it
I think some guys get turned off because they're afraid the girl might turn out to be a leech if she never contributes to anything.
I get your point. But why do you ask someone for a date if you think negative even if you haven't get out with that person yet?
Because we want to date that person but it's hard to get out the back of our minds that she could be a leech. It's a risk we take. And the truth is well, a lot of girls are like that.
Well how can you know if not even started you already judge that person? Thats why some people relationships are unsuccessful coz of the questions in your minds what if?
Give people a chance , thats the only way you get to know the person do not be afraid to give chances thats the only way you learn
Id would say be ready either way it doesn't matter who pays on first date. If its a problem for the guy talk about it. Its about getting to know her as a caring friend and she should be thinking this way also and be ready to express that in all ways.