Do middle school/high school relationships count as actual relationships?

I had two “boyfriends” when I was 14. I say it in quotes because they were guys I didn’t really have feelings for and were both set up by my friend who felt bad for me because I was always single and she had a ton of boyfriends. The first guy was a shy guy and the “relationship” only lasted 3 days and then I had to “break up” with him because he told people we weren’t dating. To this day, he still avoids me like I’m a psychopath.

The second guy was my guy friends brother. He didn’t want to go anywhere with me and I found him quite boring. Him and I still get along.

So both of these “relationships” were very uneventful and I don’t like to count them as relationships but they did have the relationship label.

What do you think? Do they count as relationships?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Relationships can count in your youth as you learn about relationships and yourself.

    However, what you described was not a relationship. If you feel nothing for the other person other than friendship, it’s not a relationship. If you feel nothing at all and it was a blind date, it was a blind date gone wrong. The problem with youth is there is never the status of dating, everyone jumps to being bf/gf (or any combo). I can even begin to count the “boyfriends” I had for one horrible date in highs school. They were failed dates. I don’t count them as anything more. But I do recognize my relationship in highschool and younger as (albeit awkward) relationships.

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    • You have a point but I also agree with another person that said if you're 16 and younger then it's not a relationship because you're testing out these new emotions with crushes and stuff. I know people who are older than me who have been dating since they were 16 or 17 and still happy in their relationship. Those are the type of relationships that could but I never had.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, but they are unlikely to last. They can be considered practice

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • no, I would not say that those are "real" relationships. I've had guys I"ve been going on dates with for months at a time and I don't call that a boyfriend/girlfriend dating.

    The only real relationship I have is with my current guy whom we talked marriage and kids with and have been together for 8 years.

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  • Ima be a bit different here and say that they count. After all, they set a standard for relationships in the future. Traits you like or don't like in a partner, or things you would do differently down the line. These are things you can take from even a cruddy middle school relationship. Wether they would truly hold the label or not, I'd say that seeing them as proper relationships could be a better mindset going forward.

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  • Sure they do. They're just your first awkward dabbling in to the gene-swapping pool. It might be relationship practice but it was still a relationship nonetheless.

    I definitely understand what you mean, though. My first "girlfriend" I don't think I ever spoke to. We were set up through a friend and she dumped me two days later!

    However, my first "serious" relationship where we actually hung out, kissed, had sex, etc. happened pretty young for me so perhaps I am biased on the topic.

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  • I guess it depends on what kind of relationship. Yours I'd agree and say no. I had a "relationship" when I was 13. We "dated" for 6 months in which we never spoke or saw each other (avoided each other like the plague lmao).

    I had a relationship when I was 15 and we dated 7 months. We hung out and held hands and whatever. I'd say that counted. He was much more invested in it than I was.

    I started dating my fiance when I was 18 and a senior in HS and clearly, that one counts haha

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  • Not only do I think they count, they may be among the most important relationships, depending how much you cared about each other, because those are your formative years when you are learning so much about yourself

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  • What kinda weird point system are you using to grade yourself? Why would you even care if they count? Are you making a conquest list?

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    • Because I’ve never dated anyone since then so when someone asks me if I’ve ever been in a relationship before I want to know if my high school ones count.

    • My advice to you is if anyone asks you how many relationships you've been in, walk away they're too shallow. A gentleman never asks.

  • I don't consider my first "girlfriend" to be a girlfriend. She asked me out the last day before spring break. Saw each other once over break, kissed her, couple days back to school and she broke it off.

    That kind of stuff is just HS bs. After her I dated some one from 15-21. That was my first girlfriend in my opinion.

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    • Are you married to her now? The one you dated for 6 years?

    • No, we were engaged, she broke it off, met my now wife a few months later then the ex tried to get me back. Shouldn't have let me go bitch... lol

    • Oh wow... lol

  • It depends but i have a couple of friends whom been dating since they were 13. They are now both 21 still staying strong and legal. A wedding is prolly the only thing missing

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  • I dont think that its not a relationship because it took place during school but i think its not a relationship because it seems like it wasn't wanted by either of you. I had the same thing in 8th grade and i wouldn't consider it a relationship

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  • They 'count' if they were grown up relationships. I've had a 'boyfriend' for 3 days at 14 as well.
    We really were in love, but it was at a holiday and after those 3 days I went back home again at the other side of the world. He wrote me poems and we send lots of heart emojis on whatsapp and such for a while though, so I'd say it's in between real and not real.

    A high school relationship that's truly loving and that stays for a longer time does count because of the grown up nature, in my opinion

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  • It’s up to how much value you place in these relationships. From what it sounds like, you don’t believe them to be so you shouldn’t feel pressured to count them.
    Why do you even need to count relationships? Haha

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  • I honestly don't count them as real. We change through those years in school. After graduating high school.. A couple years will pass and you won't even remember most of those years in school. Not thw classmates. Not even those we've dated.

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  • Obviously 3 days doesn't constitute a relationship. A Jr high/ high school could certainly be considered a real relationship but it has to be a relationship.

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  • I don't think they count, one of them was one sided and the other didn't really happen. Some can though, like the one i had in middle school. We were very in love, But we broke up because she was very domineering, both sexually and not

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  • Yes... bc they were with you, even if it was just for 1 or 3 or 4 hours... or 123 days it's still a relationship.

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  • Let me reframe the question:
    Do xyz R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P-S count as R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P-S?

    Duh!

    It's almost funny (not really) how women find themselves excuses to justify lying. In particular, they do it with the number of relationships. Oh, yeah, but you know... I didn't really have feelings for the 10 guys I slept with so they don't count, do they? They're relationships but not like REAL relationships, ya'know. If I were to count them all, I'd be like... beyond the biggest number I know.

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  • When I was in my hs relationship, I thought it was legit. Ow when I look back, I thought it wasn't anywhere close to what a relationship is actually.

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  • I think length and age are big components to that. I usually don’t count dating someone if I was under 15-16 or it was less than a month. Seems more like a fling to me 😅

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  • In that age most couples do not know what actual love is and what it takes to be committed.

    So in most cases they can't be actual relationships.

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  • Relationships at such a young age... no... yes... Maybe... depends...
    I think some people can and do have what can be qualified as actual relationships during those years but most probably are not... more like pretend relationships emulating actual relationships by children anxious to grow up but not yet possessing the emotional maturity to really have any deep emotional connections
    Of course our western societies glorify the infantile and childhood these days extends well into the twenties where even people who are adults still do not comprehend the deep emotional connection of maturity

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  • Relationship are feelings, emotions, understandings. It may happe during school, office or during your old age. it's a matter of consent.

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  • Nope they don't count you was young probably never even did anything with them lol

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  • I'd say it's dependent upon the type of relationship and how. Like you could have a fuck buddy type relationship at 19 where you only slept with eachother and had emotions, but never became official. That's about as relevant as a middle school relationship that's over in 2 months.

    All depends on the how and why you got together and whether or not it was love. I know for me I didn't truly love a girl for the first time till highschool, but I wouldn't say it's not possible at a younger age. I had strong emotions for different girls when I was 12-13 As well.

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  • For middle school, I ain't consider it as actual relationship

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  • It's dependent on how long they last. The first one is a hard no. If the second one lasted more than a month then it's a yes.

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  • Relationships count after high school tbh. Its just for show in k-12.

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  • No lol, if you felt nothing then they weren't relationships

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  • Not really, they diffinately can mean something, but beyond that no

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  • If it doesn't last beyond school, it's not a relationship.

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  • Sure! Why shouldn't they count?

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  • tbh i dont see any relation in that at all

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  • Of course

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  • Yes I think they do matter. They helped formed you

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  • nope

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  • It doesn't matter but it count when you want to

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  • Nope.

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  • If you both call it a relationship it is one.

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  • Lol I don't think so

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