Should you take high school relationships seriously?

[Zelika]

My boyfriend and I are in our last year of high school and we've been going out for about 3 years however I know we're not really going to last outside of high school -- we want different things in life, have different attitudes towards things, and whilst we're perfectly fine now I can feel us drifting and clashing more as we get closer to the 'real world'.

So my question is even if you know you won't make it out of high school should you stay together and try to enjoy while you can?

[selfishstars]

I think it's just about being realistic, which it sounds like you are.

The problem with high school relationships is that it's usually your first time experiencing romantic love. It's a pretty amazing feeling, and a lot of people get infatuated with it and with the person they're with. They assume that they're going to be with that person forever, and often make pretty important life decisions under the assumption that they will be together forever (i.e. choosing what college you go to based on where your partner is going, even though its not really what you want, or even smaller things, like neglecting your friends because you're so into your boyfriend or girlfriend). They may also stay in a relationship even if it isn't a healthy one because they don't want to lose their first love, or because they don't "know any better" because they haven't had any other experience with relationships.

Most high school relationships don't last, and it isn't uncommon for people to experience what you are experiencing in your relationship (feeling yourself drift apart, having different goals and attitudes, etc. that cause you to be less compatible than you once were---this is because you're at an age where you're discovering who you are and what you want in life). That's not to say that there aren't people who marry their high school sweethearts (and stay married), but they're a minority. That said, a lot of high school couples believe that they are an exception and that their relationship will last forever. Having that kind of belief can set you up for an even bigger heartbreak if your relationship does come to an end (which there is a decent probability that it will). That's not to say that you should spend your relationship thinking "We're going to break up eventually", but just don't be delusional that there's no way that things won't work out.

My personal opinion is that if you want to have a serious relationship in high school, go ahead. There's two ways to think of it: having a serious relationship is rewarding and it can teach you a lot of useful skills that you can use in future relationships. You can learn how to communicate with a partner, how to work through problems, and it can be really enjoyable to be in a relationship with someone. On the other hand, some people see more value in being single, discovering who you are as an individual, and just dating around and having fun.

If you have a serious relationship when you're young, I think it's just important to be realistic in how much you invest into it (don't neglect yourself or your own dreams and aspirations), and know that its okay to let the person go if you find that you're not happy or that you're going in different directions in life.

[Anonymous]

Maybe. I'm in a four year long relationship with my boyfriend who I started dating in high school. I'm a freshman in college now and we're coming up on five years. We really connected on all levels throughout our relationship. We're mature for our age, and are talking seriously of marriage. However, we know we're still young and anything can happen. Our plan is to take it a day at a time and try to make it work. However, we're not setting anything in stone. Because we have the same goal and mindset, our chances of staying together are probably higher than a couple who wants different things.

You two need to sit down and have a serious conversation about this. My boyfriend and I sat down a few months ago and had the talk. We talked about our goals for the future. Since they still matched, we decided we'd give it a go. During that period before we came to a decision, where we were seriously considering ending it, times were rough. We were both frustrated and upset. We lashed out at each other and those around us. But we calmed down and discussed it.

That said, if we had decided that we wouldn't even have a chance outside of high school, we'd have ended it. No use in wasting time on someone who you know won't make you happy in the long run.

Best of luck to you in your future goals.

[emilyzenella]

No. get out of it while you can. If you're already getting feelings like you won't last, It won't last because in the back of your mind you're thinking about breaking up. Even now, you wouldn't have asked this question if you weren't already thinking of breaking up. Don't lead on him or yourself. It will hurt less, the sooner you break up. But if you really really love each other, there are ways to make it work...

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you already know the answer, in which case you're stringing him along because it's easy. Not very fair to him though.

Cut him loose so you can both get on with your lives, have some fun, become the people you are going to be, and then settle down with someone in your thirties who fits the person you've become. Trust me you won't be the same person you are now, not even remotely similar.

[malekoniky]

Enjoy high school relationships and see where they go, but don't take them to be for life unless they survive to cca 20 years of age. They might be serious even in that age, but you both have to be mature enough to be able to say that it is for life and to be responsible for your words.

[toulouse]

yes. you should take it seriously while you are together,. otherwise don't call it a relationship- what does h.s. have to do with it?

not all relationships are a prelude to marriage. not everyone gets married.

how is this a problem for you. you know if you care about someone. a title doesn't give you feelings. I dot think you can care much- or you don't think he cares much to be asking this question.

you are either in love or not. why do you need other people telling you how to feel.

[phil2]

i gave you 1 up

[toulouse]

thank you ;)

[rory520]

I think you enjoy everyday in till the time for college then you decide what you each want then see if there is an option to be togetther if not do long distance or just keep in touch.

[whitneyba]

if you're happy together right now you may as well make the most of the time you have together before you're lives force you apart. stay together while you can.

[Anonymous]

when you get older you will think "why did I waste so much time on him?". Enjoy your life, have fun, hook up... do this til you're 80 then you can settle down if you want;)

[Aizou]

In my opinion, you should take
all relationships serious ^.~

[martyfellow]

If you're heading in differnt directions, may as well brek up now and see who else is out there.

[Person5000]

Yes. If it worked for 3yrs, then there's a reason. Don't throw it away.

[copperex]

it all depends on how you feel about him later on and if you can take long distance relationships

[Anonymous]

Not if you don't plan to be together in the future.

[Shadoww]

yup.

[StealthyTurtle_]

No have fun