Why is there such a high physical standard for women, but not men?

Women must have big boobs, big butt, no stomach, be thick but with no fat in the undesirable regions, be pretty, have long hair, be average height. Men can look however they want and still shame women for not having what they want. This is because I saw a post online saying "How do you flat ass girls feel when you walk past a group of guys knowing you about to ruin their day?"


Most Helpful Guy

  • Lol. As if women don't pressure men as much as they do each other.

    Men want a woman who is reasonably attractive and takes good care of herself. We don't give half a shit about makeup and cutesy clothes or thigh gaps or any of that shit.

    Women talk shit about each other constantly. Too fat? Too skinny? Blue jeans and t-shirt? Clothes that reveal some skin? Eyebrows not done just right? No attention from men? Too much attention? Hahahaha fatty/needasammich/frumpy/thot/loser/slut.

    And with men, the judgment is worse because we don't only get judged on looks. Don't set a standard and then bitch about it.

    • Where I'm from, its mostly guys who bitch about girls not meeting up to their standatds.

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    • Now that I look back on my past relationships, the skinnier girls acted really weird and one of them chose videogames over me. That's just sad

    • Man you nailed it. Worth 80 female likes! But I must disagree where you said "woman look for flaws" and not really men. That is a general statement and far from the truth. Both genders look for what they like and what they don't and value equal sets of qualities in a partner. You cannot take a few real-life scenarios and apply them to an entire group.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You have been living in a box if you think women don't have physical standards for men.

    • what is your physical standard?

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    • 200 IQ downvoters confirmed 😂😂😂

    • Because girls can understand the men like what they are not what they can be

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What Guys Said 609

  • Women do usually have high physical standards for guys (especially guys your age). But after age 25, his financial status rapidly overtakes it in importance. Personality is also a factor in most cases.

    Men actually have more standards to meet.

  • Interesting. I was under the impression women only want tall, muscular/toned men with little to no excess body fat and who can tan well but don't immediately come off as belonging to any one minority. Silly me, I must have believed more in multi-media standards rather than feeling confident in how I look and feel.

    • My man... we on the same track. I like the way you speak

    • All the double standards... You guys have it rough too.

    • I mean don't get me wrong, I would love to be more fit than I am, that being said, I am already a lot healthier than a good portion of people I see. The difference is how genetics make your muscle look on your body and where your body stores fat.

  • (part 1 of 2, yes I got that long with it)
    I'll admit, guys who shame a gal on how she looks is absolutely screwed up and I sincerely hope that none of you ladies get with that type of guy and allow him to pass on his genes. That being said, don't worry, we have body standards too.

    Y'all say 'in shape' and that's it, but you're actually really picky and every one of you want something different. Long head hair or clean cut, Beard and/or mustache or clean shaven, chest hair or baby smooth, muscley or 'a bit more to love'/'dad bod', hairy legs or smooth. Don't have back hair, don't be sweaty. Have 'enough' dick on you, compared to all the guys that came before us (not that we know how well your past guys were hung). Dress 'well' with collared shirts and khakis, don't look a thug or burnout or stoner or fckboy. You're probably thinking to yourself, "yeah why would I settle for what I don't like or am not attracted to?" Well EXACTLY.

    And I have high socio-economic and emotionally supportive standards to meet for you, that /you/ have the freedom not to have to meet if you should choose. You'll want us to have a good-paying job whether you have a career-mind or not, so you have the option to stay home if you want. Enough money to pay for you to go traveling, if you feel cooped up at home or exhausted from work - again, your option. And money to go to restaurants almost regularly or kitchen skills if you're not the cooking type. Our own place to live so you don't have to keep paying for your apartment 'cause nobody's okay with a house-husband, a clean reliable vehicle of our own 'cause you have the option not to ever have to drive.

    • (part 2)
      And we have to acquire all this, and prep and preen ourselves in the hopes of raising the likelihood you'll choose us over all the competition, before we even begin to put ourselves out there for a permanent relationship. When we do manage to find someone to say 'yes' to the first date. And if you do choose us over the hundreds of thousands of potential mates in your area, that's when the real work begins.

      We have to ask you out, plan where to take you and 'surprise' you with it, sell ourselves as being nearly perfect and figure out how slowly to peel back our flaws so as not to scare you off, invite you into our den which slowly changes into your den with us in it. We gotta make sure our bedroom game is better than the next guy but you've got the freedom to compare. And we're expected to have the utmost loyalty, but if you're not getting what you want it's 'my body my choice' thinking we don't have a heart to break.

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    • ... As for those pretty women who somehow stay with a smelly, ugly, verbally abusive man, I'm sorry to say it's their judgement of potential partners that is most in question. If they have the assets to be considered above the station of that type of man, then they can easily set of in search of a new one.

    • I'm not defending a shitty type of man or even men in general, I'm just saying y'all have standards too, no one has 100% acceptance of every member of a gender as a potential partner.

  • First of all we need to drop this concept of these things being a requirement. It's like a guy talking about why are standards so high for men in terms of their life status. He's supposed to have a decent car, a decent place with zero roomates, a decent job, maintain decent shape specifically because "girls HAVE to put in so much work into their appearance, so you have to aswell", he's supposed to do all of the yard work, take out the trash, be handy around the house. So much more than just his appearance. The standards for men are higher if you look at it objectively. But they're not a requirement. And realistically speaking no one really cares if you don't meet the superficial standards of society at large. Obviously those things will help you, but you don't NEED them. It's a good idea to drop the believe that it's relevant at all.

    Because the real question is does it stop you from living the life you want live or getting what you want out of life in general? Does it really matter that a lot of men want a woman that meets whatever concept of a standard you have in mind? That's not even questioning whether or not that is a true "standard" men have, because I can tell you men vary in what they like. But assuming it's true. Why does it matter? Is it stopping you? I say this to guys and girls. Just like a short guy getting caught up in being insecure about his height. It doesn't have to stop you, unless you let it stop you.

  • Let's go through this piecemeal

    >big boobs
    Some like smaller
    >big butt
    Some like smaller
    >no stomach
    What does this even mean
    >be thick
    I am perfectly okay with a stick woman and numerous others are too
    >be pretty
    What is "pretty" is wholly subjective
    >have long hair
    Some like short hair
    >be average height
    Many men like short girls. Some like tall girls
    >men can look however they want
    Not if they have a neckbeard or neckfat
    >And still shame women
    How does this happen?
    >this is because I saw a post online
    I saw a post online today saying "What do you call guys under 6 feet tall? Friends". I also saw a post about a man "consensually" fucking his underage cousin. I also saw a post claiming that the earth is hollow.

    The most consistent male requirement for females is to not be fat, which may not be the easiest to change but is nonetheless controllable, unlike a man's height. Everything else differs from person to person and is negotiable anyway. Some men literally fetishize fat women, it's why BBW porn exists to begin with

  • So what you've encountered is what I like to call, a jackass. For men to be considered men, we have to be 6'+, have a nice beard, nice hair, a rock hard beach body with a nice tan, nice smile, huge arms, not give a fuck but be sweet at the same time, and have an amazing personality as well. There are 2 sides to this coin. Men just say it out loud. Women can do the same. Neither are necessarily right, but having standards isn't a bad idea. My personal preference is either a black or Asian woman with a nice smile, intelligent, and we have great communication. The more interested I am out in the open, the more interesting things will become behind closed doors. All of the traits that you and I havelisted would be nice, but they are unrealistic. Now, I do believe that there has to be some level of mutual physical attraction. My father put it to me like this, if you aren't interested in them physically, then things will never work. I had a relationship with this woman for 2 years in high school. She was incredibly sweet, smart, and caring. She made an M&M cake for me and spelled out "PROM?" on it as her way to asking me to her prom. (Different school districts) I adored her, but I had no physical desire to be with her. She wanted to get intimate, but I just couldn't do it. Eventually she broke up with me and found someone. They're doing really well and I hope that things stay that way. She just wasn't the one for me. In the end, I'd put physical attraction to emotional around a 25%-75%. If your partner makes you happy, then who cares what anyone else thinks. You're preference is just that. A preference.

  • Because physical attraction is the primary factor in what a man wants in a woman.

    Emotional attraction is the primary factor in what a woman wants in a man.

    So yes, men generally have a higher expectation of physical attractiveness (at least, what they personally consider attractive) whereas women have an expectation that men be "real men" with a whole laundry list of things that are driven by how he makes her feel.

    Such as:

    Ambition, intelligence, confidence, sense of humor, masculinity (and being able to make her feel girly) and a host of other things that go into whatever a typical woman determines is needed for a man to be a 'real man'

    Then throw in things like him having money and the ability to support her, possibly to the point where she need not even work, etc.

    Then of course plenty of women care about how physically attractive a man is as well and uh, yeah, it can be a pretty tall order as well.

    For most guys, they just want a girl that isn't obese or ugly. Bonus if they're legitimately nice and not crazy.

    This is just how the genders tend to work.

  • I disagree.
    Men have just as many standards though I think the way it's reacted to is different.
    Men don't pitty themselves so openly when they do not meet the standards
    For instance.
    Abs and muscles usually over 6 foot is a requirement as well which is ridiculous when the average height is 5' 10"
    Men also have more standards aside from their look.
    A car. They have to be kind caring and sympathetic but they can't be panzies. They have to be able to treat their girl like a queen but have the confidence to not let her push him around.
    If he has money he is more attractive anyhow.
    And more that I can't even comprehend.
    Because I am 6' 2" work in insurance have abs I treat every woman like a queen and am extremely confident but still cannot find a girlfriend.
    I also do not fall into the category of guy who likes that stereotype of woman.
    Point is.
    Everyone gets to look however they want and there's always going to be someone who doesn't like it.
    I do think that women are objectified and I don't think it's okay.
    But that doesn't mean that men are not

  • The reality is, men and women have different approaches and mindsets when it comes to finding a potential mate.

    Men work on theory. They use logic to decide if they are attracted or not. Sometimes, if we make it far with a woman, we will find out we were wrong. She looked good on paper, but for whatever reason, it just isn't "there".

    Women work on intuition. They need to feel the attraction. They do not preconceive what is attractive, they just know it when they feel it. They accept it isn't a science and just let it be what it is.

    The difference between these two ways is the approach. The guy sees a woman he figures will be attracted to, and that is what he wants. A woman needs to feel something that attracts her. That means her choice will be far more selective.

    I can tell you as a man that when I have experienced the intuitive/feeling attraction, all bets were off. The woman more often than not did not look like what I guess would be called my "type". It was that intangible thing that made her special.

  • Interesting question. In terms of what your saying you must remember that a lot of men intially assess women on a sexual level. This is related a lot to genetic conditioning to ensure the survival of the human race. Large breasts were often a sign of lots of milk being produced for the young. General shape would indicate if the woman herself was best suited for survival etc. Since women generally looked after the young whilst males hunted, we are genetically conditioned to desire physical traits in a woman that indicate our young will survive. In return women also have this conditioning, yet it is on a more emotional level. Is he good with children? Is he kind, loyal and does he look like he can survive and gather food. These are often desirable traits for women in a man.
    So in answer to your question, initially it's a genetic potential assesment in preparation for the outcome of sex. However after that subconscious assesment will come a conscious one. At this point it's really a matter of effort. If a man isn't really interested outside of a sexual relationship, they will stick to their subconscious assesment. It's actually a matter of laziness in my opinion. It takes time to really find things to connect with in someone who you don't plan to meet again. Much easier to be lazy till you need to be self reflective as to weather you want more

  • It has to do with our adaptations over time to survive as a species. things have changed too quickly. that type of 'life or death' survival isn't really a problem for us now and the world changes so fast day to day we dont really have time to adapt as a whole before the next big leap and it leaves us all with a bunch of hardwired mechanisms/instincts/behaviors that stick out like sore thumbs because they conflict with daily life (obesity is a good example), and everyone is confused to no end and pissed off at each other and themselves. We're in a constant game of catch-up. Which I hope will just force us to evolve to adapt faster, or we'll peak and all have a moment to catch our damn breaths.

    My advice is don't take internet posts to heart. Having been a chubby person and a person with a 6 pack, I can tell you first-hand women most certainly do care what men look like, just a different way of showing it, and I just make peace with the fact that it's wrong for me to blame them for it.

    Men as a whole never said you must be that way, but we definitely prefer those things, just like women as a whole never said I must be ripped or have a nice house or a well paying job or a nice car or ambition, passion, sympathy, confidence etc.. but they prefer it. Or so it seems ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    In a time where we're striving to be accepting of everyone's beliefs, sexual orientation/identity, religion etc.. I don't think it's a proper response to be angry at a woman who prefers a man with money and/or a nice body, or a man who prefers a woman with money and/or a nice body. Nor should you be angry at yourself for it.

    People will comment on this stuff, and sometimes it'll offend you, upset you and make you feel uncomfortable, that's life. And being uncomfortable is a fundamental part of learning.

  • Yo I haven't left my house in 50-60 days due to an exam. I haven't had the chance to get a haircut and im running a fever. Hence I haven't even bothered to shave. I look terrible right now. According to you, at my current position, I can score any chick right? lol

  • WELL!
    Before I answer, and help you understand, I have to address your stereotypes.

    Girls don't have to have giant boobs. Personally, I'm grossed out by giant boobs.
    It's almost a pet peeve.
    What men instinctively look for is "healthy" women. It's something that goes back to our caveman days.
    Too skinny, and she may not be able to handle bearing children.
    Too fat and she might eat the children. Just kidding, though cave man might think that. He wasn't very intelligent.
    You could turn it around and say cave woman wouldn't touch fat cave man for the same reason.

    Anyway, being fat or obese could be a sign that she's not healthy.

    You could say that men look at appearance more than women. IF you're having a self image issue, I'd say your goal shouldn't to be "thin" or "skinny", your goal should be to be "healthy", and the rest will fall into place.

    Who ever wrote that post is an asshole hole. That doesn't make them right. Don't give them the satisfaction of acknowledging the comment. Don't give them the power.

    As for women, if you're trying to be angry about "beauty" standards, just calm down a bit.
    Women also care about a man's appearance, just not as much because they are emotional creatures, and have more needs to be satisfied.

    Cave woman needed a caveman that could protect, and provide for her and cave bb.
    So today, women instinctively want the "alpha" male.

    So where you fault men for judging by appearance, by the same token, women judge men by their success, and ability to provide.
    So that's why you see a man who's ass ugly with a smoke hot trophy wife.

    As a species, we've evolved "socially" so it's less obvious these days and less necessary.
    It's a recent from a time when, "going clubbing" was more literal and involved actual clubs. (People whacking clubs)

    Basically, saying a "flat" ass woman ruins a man's day is like saying seeing a "broke" ass man ruins a woman's day.

    So when women work hard to be attractive for men, remember, men work hard to be successful for women.

  • See you're conflating different issues.

    All a woman needs to do to be considered attractive is have a low body fat.

    What you're talking about, is what it takes to be seen as Very attractive, which means competing against other women who are also trying to be seen as very attractive.

    It's the same shit for men. A man can hit a good baseline just by not bring fat. If he wants to be seen as very desirable, he has to compete against other men by doing things like getting ripped (Which requires far mor effort than losing body fat btw) as well as having a high income. It is far harder for a man to try to earn 100k a year than it is for a woman to lose 100 pounds of fat.

    Men absolutely have to put in more effort to be seen as a highly attractive partner than a woman does. Literally all YOU need to do is hit the gym periodically and watch what you eat. You can be poor, a slob, uneducated, have multiple kids and guys will still be interested. We're over here sacrificing trying to earn higher degrees, climbing the corporate ladder on top of gym and dieting.

    Even if we're ONLY talking about physical standards, again it takes us far more time on the gym to get into an appealing shape because building muscle is a pain, and we have to build it across our entire body, not simply our ass like you do. Losing fat is so much easier. A guy doesn't just hit the genetic lottery and wake up every morning ripped, but tons of women wake up thin without any effort.

    I'm ranting too much though, but no you have it easy. You just don't realize it because we men have been fucking up and spoiling y'all rotten.

    • No... a low body fat doesn't mean the woman has big boobs, a big butt, and drastic curves.

    • I agree. Those are what she needs to be very attractive. But just having low body fat is enough to be aytractive to the majority of men.

  • Ummm 😅 im only 15 and i know that this is completely wrong. Girls are just as bad about this as guys. I constantly have to deal with people talking about how scrawny, short, etc. I am. Girls have standards of the perfect guy, usually, the stereotypical perfect guy is muscular, tall, and if you really want to be stereotypical, he should have a big dick, im just being blunt, thats what the stereotypical girl wants. Of course you can't just specify one gender and call it good. Because sure, guys want a girl thar meets their standards, and the internet, social media, and just the outside world in general tries to decide thar for us. It slowly morphs our minds into what we expect a perfect girl should be like. Media also changes the mindset of women of the perfect man. a lot of it also has to do with how they were raised, if they were raised getting what they want, they might expect the perfect woman, so they frown upon the avarage girl. Stamdards can go either way, its not up to you to decide which gender is guilty because both genders do it.

  • In general, speaking from an evolutionary perspective women are judged by their looks while men are judged by their competence. That's because a woman will undoubtedly face a period of many years where she is forced (by the circumstances of biology and nature) to care for the children. Before the modern era and still in a few poor places in the world women have 5-8 kids from which only 1 or 2 survive to adulthood. That means she is in a perpetual state of caring for infants and young children. And because the is the one who breast feeds, she is stuck in that role. Her pregnancy also makes it unwise for her to risk her health doing any work that could end up hurting her.

    So the man is left to take care of all the other things that isn't appropriate for childbearing women to do. That includes a wide range of tasks to get food, shelter, organize and keep relations within social groups and defend against animals and other humans. The men has to be able to face a much wider range of problems and thus need to be competent in a large domain of activities and preferably specialized in at least one.

    These roles and the differences they ensue have been established biologically, mentally, physically and culturally over millions of years of evolution.
    Men are attracted to healthy looking women, i. e symmetrical, young looking, feminine and other attributes that have been associated with health. Because it's in their best interest to choose a healthy mate who will produce healthy offspring. Taking care of children is extremely hard labor, but it's not complex so complex problem solving skills aren't needed to any large extent.

    Women on the other hand have less emphasis on appearances in their choice of mate. First and foremost, the males who survive and thrive within the social group and in the world are obviously best suited to survive almost however they look. Some obvious things are of course considered attractive because it increases the likelihood of survival such as muscular body, height and lack of other physical (and emotional) handicaps.

    How do women choose which men are most competent? The look at who the other men choose to be the leader or look to in different circumstances. Because if the group deems one individual better att some important tasks, he is obviously more likely to get help and be liked and thus survive. Even if it's for something trivial as being funny. Entertainment is beneficial to the group.

    I think that answers the question.

  • I think its equal. I grew up always being shorter than the average hieght and was skinny. Girls where more cruel to me than guys in school. After sophmore yr I grew amd girls all of a sudden where showing interest by end of junior yr. I Wrestled you see so i got really tone. But the hypocrisy of it all. After I was a Marine. Its funny how you dont wear a uniform and you ask a random girl a question she looks at you like who are you. Throw on a uniform and how quick she responds. So I honestly see it both ways. It comes down to us checking ourselves and asking ourselves if we are being to judgmental or not. That goes for all aspects such as looks, personality and how or why someone makes a decision. We may not know that person is having a hard day or what. So I guess before we judge we should first check ourselves and be the mature one and check off a few boxes before being quick to judge. Plus no one can pick when they are born what the want to look like. So its kinda unfair to criticize people on something they have no control over. Hope this is some food for thought and its a really good question. :)

  • The standard is little bit the same both ways.
    Most of the time it's something insecure individuals put on themselves and try to put on others sometimes.
    The less you care what others think and if you doesn't have the right body for someone you two are a mismatch from the start.

    You have this thing that has to do with unhealthy in the long run that also are many times lazy attitude behind that makes someone unattractive by default for many subconsciously, but those standards you hear and see aren't really something healthy in the long run and has extreme lifestyles behind (for starter to much protein intake or to little carbs, both have high risk for blood sugar and insulin problems with to long on it).

    Do you know what, It's much more attractive if a person has enough with confidence and are secure enough with self esteem at any hight that has that extra from the inside with small but and flat chested than someone that have all those exterior standards.

    Personal I'm not that funded in big wide hips with big behind, but that doesn't make a difference since the inside must be right with the right touch and emotion energy between, yeah, the sexuality must also match.

  • There is a huge range of men view as 'ideal'.
    Some guys like thick women.
    Some like big tits.
    Some like big round asses.
    Some like long hair.
    I don't think women know what men really want. They compare themselves to what they see in magazines and on t. v. They also compare themselves to other women (who also emulate women in magazines and on t. v.).
    Funny fact: not all guys see celebrities as ideal.
    I know guys who like those types. I also know guys who like women with a little more meat on their bones.
    I actually like small tits. What is sexiest to me is a nice ass. It doesn't have to be huge, just nicely shaped.
    I could give a shit about hair length. I have been attracted to women with long hair and some with pretty short hair. It just depends on how it fits your face.
    The stomach thing... yeah, overweight (to me) is unattractive but a little bit of a round belly can be sexy. It depends on the girl.
    Shaming is wrong but is often a guy's way of telling women that they wish their lady wouldn't let themselves go. It is a hard truth but many women keep it together until they land a guy, then once they do, they completely forget about taking care of themselves.
    Don't agree? What is the first thing a woman does when she ends a relationship and enters into the 'market'. She starts watching what she eats. She starts walking, running, joins a gym, etc.
    Women know full well what they are doing. Men see it as a bait and switch.
    Normally, if a guy gets himself into shape, he does it for himself. Quite often, if after you start a relationship with him he starts gaining weight or becomes out of shape, he stopped working out because his time is limited because of the time with you. Also, it is very typical for a guy to put on weight when he's with a woman because she is sliding a plate full of food in front of him much more often than he ever had before.
    My ex hated it when I went to the gym. She constantly accused me of things... not wanting to spend time with her, trying to look good for someone (jealousy), not really going to the gym but hooking up with someone, etc. I would regularly see her do gym drive-byes.
    I never gave her any reason. Not once, in all of our years together, did I ever even consider it even during the split.
    She wanted to fatten me up because she was so insecure. I wouldn't stop looking out for my health but some guys do, just to appease their S. O.
    All of this is real. Don't kid yourself! Men all over are experiencing the same things.

  • Speaking for myself, I don't have such a "high" physical standard for women. I would say I have a very "human" standard. I understand that we do not choose our genetics, and women in particular can be very sensitive to even the smallest physical aspects of themselves they do not appreciate. Hence, women are naturally inclined to impose a high sense of standard upon themselves which they project outwardly as being "what guys want"

    But most of you are just wrong. Guys find women in general attractive simply for being women. We each have our own preferences. Half the traits you suggested? I don't care.

    I like small breasts, women with normal proportions and "meat" on their bones INCLUDING fat -- like jeez, I think you're prettier with your imperfections and that just shows your humanity. I really don't care about butt, I think 98% of women have an attractive ass.

    I definitely prefef short hair and tomboys, and well above average height. I'm 5' 7" so short by American male standards and I am most attracted to heartier women 5' 10" or even taller.

    Maybe I'm an outlier, but I don't think so. I think every guys' got his preferences. That preference is molded by many factors.

    What women seem to do is see all these popular divas on TV and assume that guys must be nuts for that body. But no, not really.

    Yes, they may be sexually attractive, but there is a world of difference between wanting to fuck someone that won the lottery in looks, and genuinely being attracted to someone because you think they're actually beautiful.

    Guys are at fault for objectifying women as sex objects, but again, guys just tend to be more sexual and objective. We see the world as things (including each other), and only when we really care do we bother to see other people as human beings (again, including each other)

    If you think guys only objectify women, you are sorely mistaken. Guys objectify each other far more than they objectify women. That is simply our typical approach for dealing with the world in simpler and more objective terms.

  • WTF are you talking about? Have you been living in a cave? Men are supposed to be tall, fit, able to lift cars off accident victims, able to fix everything from plumbing problems to computers.

    And by the way, if you read the polls on here you would have noticed that a LOT of men are NOT into big boobs and big butts, and many like tall and/or short women.

  • Your opinion is COMPLETELY one sided.
    You're so focused on what females have to go through that you can't even take a second to try and look at things from the male perspective.

    Men have to take the initiative, that alone can be a nightmare, how many times do you think a shy guy is approached or has the chance to have female interaction (of any kind)? If you're not able to approach you'll feel worse every chance you waste, you'll regret that you didn't have the strength to break your habit and talk to the girl, just saying hi triggers the brains panic response, which in turn makes you feel even worse, less motivated to try, more fearful of rejection, more closed.
    The dude may be an amazing, exciting person full of interesting ideas, but will be called a looser and never be respected for the rest of his life.

    Plus, men have to be flirty but not creepy, confident but not a jerk, playful but not a clown, provider and caretaker but strong and independent, sensitive but masculine.

    Its not easy for either of us, especially with the pressure of society on both sides.

    No woman wants to be considered a slut, but you girls have needs, lust, wishes and desires just like us.

    No guy wants to have to constantly place himself in the hands of women and face rejection after rejection until he can finally make a connection with one (that he may end up not actually liking), but if we don't have initiative and somewhat succeed we'll be branded as a looser, unmanly, insufficient, unable, unfit.

    With that said, the guy who said that is an absolute cunt, I hope the closest thing he has to intimacy is his right hand, which it probably is.

  • Because deal with it. It's society.
    Men needs to be tall, muscular, full set of hair, big dick, we need to be fit too and while men are dealing with physical standards, we deal with our emotional standards to like no crying not a single tear, be stoic and calm, no complaining. Also we need to be rich and succesful in order for us to be attractive tho. "I'm not gonna date you just because you're good looking." Serious what do you want?

  • Because society values women's looks and body, whereas men are valued for more attributes unfortunately for women. And because women are sex objects and I think because society sees women as sexier than men, women are held to a higher standard of beauty than us less attractive men ha

  • I don’t see why women complain that all they have to do is be pretty. Guys are held to high standards for everything else. We gotta make good money, be funny and charming, talk right, be good in bed, and the list goes on. The prettier the girl the more likely she’s just a lazy bum and that’s all she has to do to get guy 🙄

    • Women have to be calm, motherly, patient, good in bed and sexy. Some of us aren't built that way. All sexes have horribly high standards

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    • But being pretty itself is not in control of someone. If you are blessed with good genes, you're in but if you aren't, then you're doomed.

      At least a guy can work hard to earn money

    • @Schrodingerscat i do agree with that, I’ve always thought that was an unfair advantage of men. Women can be blessed with beauty but it’s fleeting and short lived but men can be blessed with intelligence and talent to get rich.

  • The same reason there's a high financial and status standard for men that doesn't apply to women. Men are expected to be financially secure, have a car, property and career prospects. Or, if not, they have to have high status among other males such as being someone who is respected and has power of a type eg in gang culture. None of this applies to women.

    • Okay well that’s not I look for in a man so you’re kinda wrong most of that shit is extremely unattractive to a lot of people they aren’t attached to you just the money not your power the power they could get from you

    • There are plenty of men who aren't simply interested in physical attractiveness. But it does seem to be the case that men are more readily sexually aroused by women's bodies firstly while women are sexually aroused by characteristics such as self sufficiency, authority, wisdom, social skills and earning power, firstly and bodies secondly

  • Bullshit. Any ugly whale on tinder can get laid with 500 men.
    Any average looking guy will have to work hard to get matches, then work hard to get the conversation turning into a phone call or date.

    Men's looks matter less than their other traits and if they fail, they get no relationship at all.

    Women's looks matter more than their other traits but if they fail, they still get a relationship, just with a lower quality man.

  • Overall, women tend to be more picky than men.

    And the women on average seem to find men on average less attractive than conversely.


  • First off all body means nothing to me. Personality is all that really matters. If I love the girl for her personality than I’ll love her for her looks as well. There is a high physical standard for us guys too because most girls want flat chest and abs which I am no where close to. I’ve always been so insecure about myself and my body weight. I just want the perfect girl to tell me in person that she loves my body and maybe I’ll try to stop worrying so much about what I eat.

  • Well, advertisements play a huge part in our everyday life. If you think about it. Models are always advertised as the perfect girl. Without our population realizing that our brains are being manipulated. On how a perfect girl is suppose to look. Women then compare themselves to those models in advertisements and sometimes to other women. Guys also get their minds tricked into believing in the perfect girl from the advertisements. Without realizing that many times photoshop is being used. This is why it is belived in our society that girls are supposed to be a specific way. When in reality, we are all humans who come in different shapes and sizes that makes us unique from one another. The beauty that helps us identify as ourselves for who and how we are physically and mentally. Not the same as each other but different in our own ways. Also, its not true that men can always look however they want. Girls also have their mind manipulated by advertisements. To many women out there. A guy has to be tall, or white skin, brown hair, blue eyes, has to have a six pack, etc. This situation can go vice versa.

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What Girls Said 113

  • I think men are programmed to care more about looks since good looking people are more fertile and the purpose of sex is procreation and the sustaining of the human species

    • yeah thats basically our nature, but media made us a bit fucked up, there's still people who perfer a good partner/friend for a mate than a "sexy bigass bigtit tall... etc"

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    • @Dzokson00

      I get what you mean. Your friend probably also meant she likes the money, but that wouldn't likely be the only reason for dating a person. Money is important.

  • The only people who tend to have these expectations for women... are women. They see other women on social media, see men liking the pictures, and think men expect them to have these perfect physical qualities.

    But then... we go outside... see men and women with... regular men and women... and almost none of us see a single instagram model. Hmm...

    It's because women are the ones who fall into these traps and take it to the extreme extent that we do. Most guys, even attractive ones, don't expect you to be physically perfect and likely don't want that. I have been body shamed by women plenty of times in my life, I can count on two hands the amount of times it's happened. For men, I can name a few accounts and it was only after I rejected them.

  • Men are actually more easy about accepting the female body. I 100% gurantee you, that the dude who posted that would marry a flat assed girl if he couldnt get a booty one.

  • I think there are standards for men too. you're being a little hyporitical. Dont men have to have muscular lean bodies, strong masculine featureS THAT JAWLINE THO , taller than u even with heels, deep voiced and bonus if theyre good at sports? Not to mention a small dick would be the saddest of all when they have the least control over it? Men have it hard too. We all do.

  • Dude i saw a post the other day on Facebook calling men "girls" if he's shorter than 6'0. Or something like that.. it seriously goes both ways. Just be happy with yourself and forget what others think. You should want to be healthy and maintain the best standards you can for yourself. That's for both genders.

    • Yes those are American standards cuz a man’s average height in America is considered to be 5’10 and women want above average men.
      But calling men little girls is just a subconscious justification of their own inferiority over men cuz when it comes to me I’ve never shamed a woman calling her a boy or a man cuz that’s an indirect way of telling her that my gender is inferior and I’d insult you calling you a man or a boy.
      It’s absurd cuz they’re indirectly insulting themselves before they insult the man cuz they themselves are inferior in their own eyes.

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    • They can see by the "volume" of it under the pants. Also when they get to see it in pics or real. There are also things called nudism resorts and beaches and parties. But I agree with u about that most of the time on normal daily situations it's harder for them to tell but that's why you get them with attitude, good talk, nice smell and style and things like that, it also helps not being ugly and having muscles ;)

    • Yea but when it comes to me I’m a guy who’s not interested in anal sex and oral sex and I wouldn’t wanna let the woman take my pants off anyway and if she likes to do that she’d better get a gigolo than me.. it’s kind of uncomfortable when they look at you with all that lust in their eyes, it just shatters my soul

  • Actually, there are people of both genders with high standards towards the opposite gender. There are just more women than men who are complaining about that.

    • Men complain just as much as women, try visiting those MGTOW channels

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    • @SaintRaghu Umm... sorry but telling the story of your life here without any context was a bit random o_o xD By the way, if you want other people to sympasize with you, not tell them that you aren't expecting an answer anyway.
      I guess you'd get better replies if you would share this with people who actually know you and care about you instead of telling it to some random people on here.
      But heyy... tall women need love aswell :P

    • I’m not trying to sympathise, I get emotional support from nobody cuz I have no parents and don’t make friends anymore and I face name calling and sexual harassment but I’m embarrassed to take psychiatric help to get over my depression and anxiety.
      You don’t know me, it isn’t that I only share stuff with random people, the place where I live nowadays is just too toxic that I can’t make friends, I’ve been recorded by a woman and I asked her to delete the video..
      I don’t care about my imaginary manhood, I get hurt and when I don’t get anyone to talk to I come on internet, not begging for sympathy either but I’m hurt.

  • Well, first off the post you read was by a lonely troll hoping to elicit a response from anyone.
    Beyond that, woman have forever been sexualized while men have been monetized.
    There are far too many to blame for these beliefs but it largely rests with the media.

    • " woman have forever been sexualized while men have been monetized" ... Wise words , and well put. Deliberate toxic " media " BS !! Toxic social engineering at work , serving selfish agendas.

  • I used to think the same way honestly, that there were so many standards we have to meet. But in all honesty guys do have standards too just different ones. And not everybody's standards are the same.
    I was always told that guys have different types and standards and I was like yeah I guess so but it's not that drastic they are all going to think the same girls are hot. There are always those specific girls who are ver attractive and most people would look at them and think they are physically attractive. but I was once around my boyfriend and his friends and one of his friends was showing me a girl he thought was hot and she was pretty but my boyfriend didn't see her as that pretty. I am way more his type, such as thin, petite, small, white, feminine, and physically fit. On the other hand his friend likes more curvy girls who are not as small or petite as me and more ethic. and the other friend liked more Asian girls and girls with dark hair and more curvy then even his other friend.
    It was a very different set of girls.
    Everybody will be somebody's type guaranteed. Of course there are basic things like hygiene, somewhat fit, takes care of yourself, intelligence, compatible personalities, is able to dress themselves up and make themselves look nice. There are always things that all guys will look for in girls that are needed, but i think that list can also for guys. Then it just goes by type. By no means is a big ass and big boobs for every guy. My boyfriend doesn't like big boobs or huge ass necessarily. But he has a friend who loves fake boobs and girls who have that aesthetic.
    If everybody liked the same type, then a huge demographic of people would left out and people would be unhappily settling.
    Of course some guys are just assholes and don't know what they want and say that girls should change themselves and be this way or that way. But if they are mature they'll realize that not all girls are made for just them.

  • I think the "ideal body type" proposed in society has more to do with women attacking other women. Usually men don't care what you look like. They usually are not the ones attacking women's attributes. All you can do is train yourself not to judge. Now that's a hard thing to do. Something I still struggle with but change comes from within.

  • I don't think that men can just "look however they want" without any negative repercussions. I think a lot of guys have similar body issues to women.

  • Women think they have to be perfect but its all about themselves really. Men.. real men... dont even notice our flaws. They want a real woman.
    Thr obssession with body and specially fashion comes from the competition bitches have with each other

  • There is. "He has to be 6'4. Abs. Tanned skin or dark. He has to be ripped and in shape. He has to be handsome like a model. He has to have hair but not be hairy. He has to have a 7 incher or more"

    • that's the thing i hate about society always judging based off of looks rather than personality, it pisses me off so much tbh, nothing against you though more against society in general

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    • I mean the 24 upvotes speaks for themself 😊

    • @Fikgfjgd No need to be rude dude.

      @Repa33 It's ok to differ in opinions but all the upvotes are from guys so that says a lot too haha

  • I don’t think it’s men putting that pressure on women. It’s media. It’s cliche but it’s true. Men don’t care too much, honestly.
    We women think it is, then we take it out on men by placing impossible standards on them in return.

    • True and both parties in the media are to blame for pushing that ideal onto people since beauty is oke but being almost so slim as someone with anorexia should never be a standart for beauty
      And to be honest i like people with a little fat on them and a few imperfections

  • I've noticed most of the high standards for women come from media and other women. Men are usually not assholes about it and won't notice if you aren't perfect by society's standards. The guy who posted that question online is just self conscious and doesn't love himself

  • As everyone else said it, blame it on society. However, it's not really fair to blame just one gender. Truth to be told, we all have our own standards/preferences. I believe both men and women dealt with the high expectation society set on us what is beautiful and attractive. Beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder. Whoever made that comment is a major douche for putting females down. No one should put others down for how they look. It sucks to be shame on how you look. To make someone feel they ain't enough. I think we all deal with not being enough to another by not feeling attractive, confident, datable, and love. attractions will be attractions, which is the first thing. But it's not permeant because there's always more to a person to wanna keep them.

    And I do hear you on your frustrations feeling like men puts a high standard on women. But women does the same thing unfortunately. I just don't think it's best to generalize one gender to this because not all men can relate to this. Just as not all females can relate to wanting a guy to be a specific height, career wise, and etc.

    I feel like if we are encountering people who are passing out on our great attractive qualities, then, forget them. Don't let them determine your worth and confidence. What one may not see, another will :) #staypositive

  • Because a lot of men feel like women should be accept them the way they look, but you have to meet their beauty standards for them to want to give her a chance. I see it all the time, some men will call women shallow for not wanting to date a shorter man, but completely ignore that their are who don't want to date tall women. In fact if you look around, most men are with women who are shorter than them. Why is that when they can go for a taller girl? It also has to to do with the media pushing one body type and telling us what is beautiful and what isn't beautiful. For the longest time and even now, thin white women and built white men have been made the standard of beauty. When someone doesn't fit into this standard, people shame them for it. It has affected both sexes, but women seem to show reaction to it the most cause a woman doesn't like her femininity and beauty being challenged. As women, that's kinda important to us cause every woman wants to feel beautiful and desirable to a man.

    • Men go with girls shorter than them for a simple reason, most girls are shorter than most guys! wow logic right out the window

    • @Maddie03 tI know most when are shorter, but there are tall girls out there too.

  • Have you seen how hard men have to work to gain that perfect six pack?
    But yeah, although it is true that women are put quite a lot on the spectrum when compared with men they are quite similar.
    It depends on the cultural beliefs of what is considered 'high physical standard' e. g. In some places, it is good to be skinny.

  • That's not true. Men have it harder, as they actually need to take care of their alimentation and work out. Women just have to deal with the alimentation part.

    • Yea I know but I like taller women but they don’t like me back so I’d rather stay single and stick to my preferences cuz if women like taller men I can like taller women as well and I don’t blame myself for having preferences either cuz it’s the society which creates the social and cultural norms among humans.
      If women didn’t like shorter men, Matriarchy would’ve existed even though it’s totally rare and that proves my point that your preferences are all dependant upon your social conditioning and upbringing.

    • Wouldn’t ve*

  • its very sad... I myself dont have big boobs but I'm comfortable with it and I love it. I dont have to worry about running, or jumping, back pains, etc. It's just what I have and I dont feel bad about having it until people start to expect for you to be perfect

  • I agree it's ridiculous that some men who look like shit themselves expect their wives to look like women who walked to life straight out of a magazine rack. I fucking read a post where a woman shared that her husband told her to bleach her dark underarms and privates... And that some of her friends' husbands divorced them for such silly 'flaws'.

    It's true that people are more picky and critical about women's appearance. Curves but no belly rolls, meat but not muscles, if you are chubby you're too big if you're skinny you're too small, you can't be paper white or coal black, and so much more. Guys are basically alright if they just have some defined muscles and are well-groomed. When an man looks good, he looks good but when a woman looks good, then she has an weird nose or too big feet.

    But every cloud has a silver lining! There's so much diversity in preference for features in women among men. There is a group of men that like tall slim blond women, and there is a group of men that like petite curvy tanned/Brown women. No matter what you look like you will always find a guy who says that he is into the kind of features that you have. Guys mostly are quite unfortunate in that way because male beauty standard isn't very diverse. Everywhere it's tall, muscular, angular.

    • Why can't you be paper white? I'd be fine with it.

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    • Aside from wondering what the follower count of a reality star (that I neither like nor endorse to be clear) has to do with this discussion.
      I do not expect you to learn through unreasonable means.
      I expect you to realize that a good guy will not give a single shit that you wear make up or have a upturn in your nose. In fact he probably won't even notice.
      And know that every break up, fight, and conversation is your learning experience.
      Your shitty ex was your learning experience.
      And like@KAF87 said everyone has tells and you should learn from your ex and look for similarities in the future.
      I conject that the reason see guys who harp on that figure is because you are projecting that they want that standard.
      You're trying to fit that standard instead of doing your own thing.
      If fitting that standard is what you want to do more power to you but you're going to keep dating picky ass dudes who care more about the way your nose looks than the way you light up when he makes you laugh

    • @Vengeful_Ginger Nah what will I do by following standards? But here's the fact I just know that guys that would actually care about personality and other qualities over looks are rare. Looks are temporary and it is very easy to lose it. One could have an accident or a disease. Or just age badly. You never know.

  • Because men still subconsciously think they are above women and think they deserve them no matter what. The media doesn't make it any better airbrushing and sculpting the perfect woman to be slim and beautiful with big butts and boobs. Women are often portrayed as sex objects so there are high standards to please all men with their looks

    • I love these crass generalizations.

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    • Statistically standards for women that men have are exactly where they should be. According to men 50% of women are above average and 50% are below average. Men have perfectly realistic expectations based upon that fact. Women however consider 80% of men to be below average. That suggests women have unrealistic standards, and based upon other data, its safe to say that translates to judgment of other women as well.

    • There really is not.. It's just that some male idiots are more likely to voice their opinions about topics like that and when it comes to insecure women, they just blindly believe that, no matter how stupid it may be.
      It's just that.. There are probably just as many, if not more men who are into girls with smaller breasts (ever looked at polls here?), however girls only listen to those idiots who talk into their own insecurities.
      I prefer smaller breasts myself and when I tell that to a girl, she would still be afraid that it's too small and say "but all boys like them bigger, right?".. It's just paranoid thinking.
      There are no higher physical standards for girls.. That misconception is created by girls themselves.

  • Reminds me of this sweet gem

    • Strawman Strawman Strawman

    • I feel like all the comments of this post completely missed the point because they were so hoped up on MRA bullshit thanks for being nice

  • Historically women were possession of men, if they had beautiful women at their side it was a sign of wealth. Nowadays women are just more advertise then men. I think that men are not ALL putting the pressure , we are looking up to ads and putting pressure on ourselves because if we were really confident wouldn't care about what they're saying or standards, everybody is gonna have a opinion, we have to learn to don't care.

  • I agree with most of your points but it goes both ways. Men and women both have pressure to look good. Just because its more prominent for women does not mean that it does not go for men. Consider both sides.

  • Girls put more pressure on themselves and other girls to do look good than men ever have.

  • The fuck is this anti-male-hate-speach bullshit
    Males have way more fucking standards than girls think
    If a guy looks a certain way in the face he is usually branded a creep by other men and girls
    Fuck off with your "Oh girls have to do this" bullshit


    • And nowadays they get more and more naked to grab our attention.

    • Man I wish more good women like you would admit how evil and arrogant many women have become. I hope you are being honest. God bless you.

  • Troll post
    No one is retarded enough to think that only women have standards

    • I'm not trolling. Stop being so ignorant. I didn't say only women are held to standards, I'm saying that they're held a higher standard than men

    • No they're not
      Either you're trolling, or you're the one who is ignorant

    • I don't know what to tell you, my dude. 😂

  • lmfao, that's funny... but all men don't like big asses and for those whose days have been ruined, it's an opportunity for character strengthening since we all face disappointments in life.

  • I agree, the post is disgusting. Although, the person who posted it probably meant it as a joke. I think it goes both ways as far as physical standards go. No one has it better than anyone. I think that the reason why you decided to post this, is because you were so triggered by this one post you saw that you didn't think about the idea thoroughly.

  • There are standards for both.

    Women- good looks and being “feminine and delicate” (total bs)

    Men- good job and being “masculine and strong” (also total bs)

    I think what we need is establish standards for PEOPLE as a whole, whether they’re men or women. I think we need to:

    1. Respect everyone
    2. Respect ourselves
    3. Take care of our health
    4. Take care of our loved ones.

    These 4 things are gender neutral.

    • Well said my dear friend that's the reality that the world has failed to respect and honour. +256772285273 is my whatsapp number u can always share and exchange ideas that can change the world by ushering in a noble cause that can turn the world into a better place for both males and females with love, harmony and joy

    • I’m not gonna add your number dude.

    • Oh and 5. Stop looking at women as prey and men as dirty pervs

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