WELL!
Before I answer, and help you understand, I have to address your stereotypes.
Girls don't have to have giant boobs. Personally, I'm grossed out by giant boobs.
It's almost a pet peeve.
What men instinctively look for is "healthy" women. It's something that goes back to our caveman days.
Too skinny, and she may not be able to handle bearing children.
Too fat and she might eat the children. Just kidding, though cave man might think that. He wasn't very intelligent.
You could turn it around and say cave woman wouldn't touch fat cave man for the same reason.
Anyway, being fat or obese could be a sign that she's not healthy.
You could say that men look at appearance more than women. IF you're having a self image issue, I'd say your goal shouldn't to be "thin" or "skinny", your goal should be to be "healthy", and the rest will fall into place.
Who ever wrote that post is an asshole hole. That doesn't make them right. Don't give them the satisfaction of acknowledging the comment. Don't give them the power.
As for women, if you're trying to be angry about "beauty" standards, just calm down a bit.
Women also care about a man's appearance, just not as much because they are emotional creatures, and have more needs to be satisfied.
Cave woman needed a caveman that could protect, and provide for her and cave bb.
So today, women instinctively want the "alpha" male.
So where you fault men for judging by appearance, by the same token, women judge men by their success, and ability to provide.
So that's why you see a man who's ass ugly with a smoke hot trophy wife.
As a species, we've evolved "socially" so it's less obvious these days and less necessary.
It's a recent from a time when, "going clubbing" was more literal and involved actual clubs. (People whacking clubs)
Basically, saying a "flat" ass woman ruins a man's day is like saying seeing a "broke" ass man ruins a woman's day.
So when women work hard to be attractive for men, remember, men work hard to be successful for women.
Lol. As if women don't pressure men as much as they do each other.
Men want a woman who is reasonably attractive and takes good care of herself. We don't give half a shit about makeup and cutesy clothes or thigh gaps or any of that shit.
Women talk shit about each other constantly. Too fat? Too skinny? Blue jeans and t-shirt? Clothes that reveal some skin? Eyebrows not done just right? No attention from men? Too much attention? Hahahaha fatty/needasammich/frumpy/thot/loser/slut.
And with men, the judgment is worse because we don't only get judged on looks. Don't set a standard and then bitch about it.
Where I'm from, its mostly guys who bitch about girls not meeting up to their standatds.
What standard is that?
Everything I described above
So they want an attractive girl who takes good care of herself. Pretty much what I said.
What do the women look for?
No, they want big boobs, wide hips, big butt, but slender in the stomach and thighgap region, wicked curves, and a nice face without makeup. That's mostly unattainable
HOLY SHIT THAT WAS GOOD
HE IS RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK IS THE STANDARD LADIES LOL
The standard for me is funny, nice but able to be mean in a teasing way and also be able to take it from a girl, not an asshole, and a guy that talks to me.
@pupperluvo Eh. Whether a guy is "funny" or not, and whether he's "joking" or being an asshole is dependent on whether you find him attractive. Just like the difference between flirty and creepy.
Eh probably true enough lol
@pupperluvo Don't get me wrong, though. Just about everybody is the same way. If a woman is hot, men are pretty much good with whatever she wants to wear. If she seems a little overconfident at times, its no problem. But if she's unattractive, the general attitude toward all of those things will be negative.
But here again, standards for men are complicated. Everything we do has to fit a certain mold, and if you get out of character, people look at you like you have antlers or something. The goofy fat guy can flex in front of everybody, and everybody cheers and takes it well. If I wear a sleeveless shirt in the heat of the summer (except in certain settings), l must be showing off and full of myself. If the guy who's normally goofing off gets serious for a minute, he's killing the mood. I'm a people-watcher and l see this stuff going on constantly. A person's attitude isn't simply who they are. Its a combo of perception and expectation, with social consequences for noncompliance
This is a commonly touted adage which simply isn't true in reality. GOOD men are the type of men you described above - but these are a minority of average males. Average males are insecure boys who hold women to these standards because they're insecure about what other boys would think of them if they dated a less than perfect woman. I work with a majority of guys currently but have sepent plenty of time in mostly female environments and let me tell you - while women will definitely make catty comments about each other (mostly motivated by jealousy and not factually accurate) - it is the men who demand physical perfection from girls nowadays and girls to be a "10" - NOT other girls.
@WonderingGirl14 That's not what I've seen or heard in real life. Any decently attractive woman can find a man. If she has a decent attitude, she can keep him around. Men generally look for good traits, where women look for flaws. I've even heard conversations where a guy was interested in a girl, but his female friends picked her apart and he never made a move because of it.
I've worked in both female- and male-dominated workplaces, too. Women will pick anybody apart for the tiniest details. Men will focus on a woman's assets and ignore anything but the most glaring flaws.
@Opinion owner your absolutely right.
I'm chubby and funny and i can't tell you how many times the friends of girl I was attracted to ripped me apart and labeled me as undateable bc i didn't fit there image of boyfriend material for there friend
I've been ridiculed by girls growing up for liking videogames anime and other nerd stuff and stayed single for 3/4 of HS bc of it.
@Asker never heard a guy say a woman had to have those standards unless they were BS with their friends hell my girlfriend dosnt have most of those but i still love her bc she plays videogames watch anime and has a wonderful smile and a beauitful radiant personality
Man you nailed it. Worth 80 female likes! But I must disagree where you said "woman look for flaws" and not really men. That is a general statement and far from the truth. Both genders look for what they like and what they don't and value equal sets of qualities in a partner. You cannot take a few real-life scenarios and apply them to an entire group.
I used to think the same way honestly, that there were so many standards we have to meet. But in all honesty guys do have standards too just different ones. And not everybody's standards are the same.
I was always told that guys have different types and standards and I was like yeah I guess so but it's not that drastic they are all going to think the same girls are hot. There are always those specific girls who are ver attractive and most people would look at them and think they are physically attractive. but I was once around my boyfriend and his friends and one of his friends was showing me a girl he thought was hot and she was pretty but my boyfriend didn't see her as that pretty. I am way more his type, such as thin, petite, small, white, feminine, and physically fit. On the other hand his friend likes more curvy girls who are not as small or petite as me and more ethic. and the other friend liked more Asian girls and girls with dark hair and more curvy then even his other friend.
It was a very different set of girls.
Everybody will be somebody's type guaranteed. Of course there are basic things like hygiene, somewhat fit, takes care of yourself, intelligence, compatible personalities, is able to dress themselves up and make themselves look nice. There are always things that all guys will look for in girls that are needed, but i think that list can also for guys. Then it just goes by type. By no means is a big ass and big boobs for every guy. My boyfriend doesn't like big boobs or huge ass necessarily. But he has a friend who loves fake boobs and girls who have that aesthetic.
If everybody liked the same type, then a huge demographic of people would left out and people would be unhappily settling.
Of course some guys are just assholes and don't know what they want and say that girls should change themselves and be this way or that way. But if they are mature they'll realize that not all girls are made for just them.
As everyone else said it, blame it on society. However, it's not really fair to blame just one gender. Truth to be told, we all have our own standards/preferences. I believe both men and women dealt with the high expectation society set on us what is beautiful and attractive. Beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder. Whoever made that comment is a major douche for putting females down. No one should put others down for how they look. It sucks to be shame on how you look. To make someone feel they ain't enough. I think we all deal with not being enough to another by not feeling attractive, confident, datable, and love. attractions will be attractions, which is the first thing. But it's not permeant because there's always more to a person to wanna keep them.
And I do hear you on your frustrations feeling like men puts a high standard on women. But women does the same thing unfortunately. I just don't think it's best to generalize one gender to this because not all men can relate to this. Just as not all females can relate to wanting a guy to be a specific height, career wise, and etc.
I feel like if we are encountering people who are passing out on our great attractive qualities, then, forget them. Don't let them determine your worth and confidence. What one may not see, another will :) #staypositive
I agree it's ridiculous that some men who look like shit themselves expect their wives to look like women who walked to life straight out of a magazine rack. I fucking read a post where a woman shared that her husband told her to bleach her dark underarms and privates... And that some of her friends' husbands divorced them for such silly 'flaws'.
It's true that people are more picky and critical about women's appearance. Curves but no belly rolls, meat but not muscles, if you are chubby you're too big if you're skinny you're too small, you can't be paper white or coal black, and so much more. Guys are basically alright if they just have some defined muscles and are well-groomed. When an man looks good, he looks good but when a woman looks good, then she has an weird nose or too big feet.
But every cloud has a silver lining! There's so much diversity in preference for features in women among men. There is a group of men that like tall slim blond women, and there is a group of men that like petite curvy tanned/Brown women. No matter what you look like you will always find a guy who says that he is into the kind of features that you have. Guys mostly are quite unfortunate in that way because male beauty standard isn't very diverse. Everywhere it's tall, muscular, angular.
That didn't address his statement though.
Yes there is a tanning industry and girls keep it profitable by consistently going to tan.
But guys like me and @KAF87 don't necessarily want or need tan girls.
So you're 2 words don't mean anything.
We stated that you can be paper white and we would still be attracted.
Address that.
@Vengeful_Ginger yes you can have a feature disliked by media and still be attractive to some people.
I wouldn't put that on men alone.
Me and my friend group even through highschool were not the body shaming type.
But I know more girls than guys in general who were bullying other girls about body standards.
Men don't really care about much if a woman can treat him the way he wants to be treated he won't give much thought to her looks as far as dating goes.
If he was attracted to her he will still be attracted to her.
Women are the reason other women tan and work out and dress the way they do.
Men are too simple to care about that stuff
@Vengeful_Ginger Makeup is not only worn for guys. And no, I saw the opposite, many guys care about the silliest things on earth. I had an ex that told me that my nose is too high. What kind of a comment is that?
Your ex sounds aweful, maybe you need to date a higher caliber of men. I don't think I've ever negative commented to someone's face about their looks. I've brought up clothes but that's it.
Everyone looks different, we're all unique. While there are general criteria the majority of men prefer. I don't think that differs between the sexs.
I would just be the best you that you can be. Be happy in your own skin and ignore other people's comments.
I don't think I would even notice a missing toe. I mean you could just wear socks and enclosed shoes. By the point that you took them off say the bed room, who would care?
I don't know where you are specifically but people aren't like that here. Our biggest worry is waistline shame.
Sorry to revive this discussion but I just got read all the responses I was tagged in and addressing the make up one.
I stated guys don't notice that crap like at all.
Unless there is more make up than skin and the girl looks completely different without it on.
Girls wear makeup for themselves and each other.
Girls are the ones really concerned with each other's appearances in general.
If you have experienced a bunch of guys who care that much about looks then you need to address your type not the stereotype
Because there are guys out there just looking for Lookers and sadly those guys only want sex to be frank.
Men real worthwhile men will love the way you look and the person you are because they know beauty is fleeting and the you need to love someone you would still love if they weren't pretty anymore.
I have a type everyone does.
But my type isn't a 10 because I know that not only won't last but it won't bring the fulfillment meant to be in a lasting relationship
@Vengeful_Ginger keyword in my very first line: SOME. In the second paragraph last line I wrote 'weird nose and too big feet' those are real comments from my ex.
If your arguing that a few men have unrealistic standards and are super shallow then yes you're absolutely right.
However, this post as well as your arguments thus far have been that a majority are that way.
And they really aren't.
Girls date guys who haven't learned what a relationship is meant to be yet. Who have unrealistic expectations of their significant other and aren't looking for the future. Then you run upon post like this where beauty standards are insane for girls and all guys are trash.
Frankly that's very one sided and if that's all you know of guys you're looking in the wrong place.
Fact of the matter is point blank guys don't want the beauty standard you project onto them.
Everyone has something individual they like.
The beauty standard is what girls think guys want and they try to fit that mold and they find guys that way that want that type.
@Vengeful_Ginger Kylie Jenner has 109 followers man. Men like you aren't very common. I'm not saying it without a reason that guys are shallow. I see examples of people's shallowness daily. Again, not all, but still a disappointing number of people.
My ex used to tell me that I'm pretty before our relationship. Later he changed. When I got into relationship with him I did it cause he WAS being good. Who knew that he would turn out to be a total jerk afterwards? No one. He has really good reputation in his school, family, friend circle.
Or do you think we are supposed to learn black magic to read a guy's mind?
Guys minds are generally more straight forward than women think. For God's sakes we aren't all Napoleon Bonaparte. Some of us have hidden agendas, but honestly it is usually just sex, or a particular kind of sex fantasy. Few men are master strategists in a relationship.
You can't ask a guy how he feels because men are trained to bottle feelings to avoid expressing them. It is a sign of weakness to be emotional. However we have emotions just the same.
We are usually very simple, work, hobbies, women, etc.
Some men pull the Jeckel and Mr. Hyde routine. However most men who are ass holes have a tell. It's about watching for red flags and knowing which you can live with.
Aside from wondering what the follower count of a reality star (that I neither like nor endorse to be clear) has to do with this discussion.
I do not expect you to learn through unreasonable means.
I expect you to realize that a good guy will not give a single shit that you wear make up or have a upturn in your nose. In fact he probably won't even notice.
And know that every break up, fight, and conversation is your learning experience.
Your shitty ex was your learning experience.
And like@KAF87 said everyone has tells and you should learn from your ex and look for similarities in the future.
Now.
I conject that the reason see guys who harp on that figure is because you are projecting that they want that standard.
You're trying to fit that standard instead of doing your own thing.
If fitting that standard is what you want to do more power to you but you're going to keep dating picky ass dudes who care more about the way your nose looks than the way you light up when he makes you laugh
@Vengeful_Ginger Nah what will I do by following standards? But here's the fact I just know that guys that would actually care about personality and other qualities over looks are rare. Looks are temporary and it is very easy to lose it. One could have an accident or a disease. Or just age badly. You never know.
You have been living in a box if you think women don't have physical standards for men.
what is your physical standard?
Yea but it has nothing to be bragged about cuz it’s all about the lust
Exactly dude. But they change time to time as well cuz our ancestors didn’t have such standards.
I’m 5’8 and I like only taller women cuz I feel no attraction to shorter women, call it a preference or a requirement but I’m not gonna change myself.
If women didn’t like short men Matriarchal societies wouldn’t ve existed at the first place because your preferences are dependant upon your social conditioning and upbringing.
Girl I didn't say women don't have standards for men
You said "Men can look however they want".
I said men can look however they want, in the sense how women have a lot lower standards. Like in order to be a female pop singer you need all the things I listed above as well as talent, while to be a male pop singer, you have to be able to sing. There are hot male pop singers, but there are also ones people would consider ugly if they weren't famous.
That’s not true @Asker. Men can’t use fakeup while women can. A woman who’s a 6/10 can make herself an 8/10 by fakeup, what can a man do? Nothing!
Well the only thing he can do, is to walk around shirtless 😂
Yes @Saint but woman accept men with no makeup, no muscles, and an average face. Woman get shamed for a fresh face by men screaming "false advertisement"
1) Most guys would prefer girls not to wear makeup at all, or wear moderate makeup.
2) Yeah, no shit they think it is false advertisement. You would be tricked too, if a guy showed up on a date with a realistic muscle suit that makes him look like an olympic athlete, when in fact he has a bad physique.
3) No shit guys are more attracted to girls with makeup - that's what it is designed for. But I'll tell you something. If you show up WITHOUT makeup anywhere, I would greatly appreciate it. It's not pitty - I actually abhore makeup. I know this might sound creepy, but seriously - when I want to touch her face/kiss her, I am not interested in touching a thick, fatty paste on her face - I want to feel her real skin. Again, imagine feeling a guy's biceps, and realising it is make of rubber! How much of a turnoff is that?
Women accept men with no makeup because men generally dont need makeup. I have asked plenty of women and they constantly tell me how they wish they had guys skin (maybe its just because they are straight and like guys)
@theflash675, well most women are indeed straight I guess
Hahaha
I like tall women only and I’m not even ashamed of it.
Apart from that this is just a physical preference, I like women who are rational unlike the majority of other women with logical reasoning skills.
I don’t like hookups anymore cuz that has emotionally damaged me so much to the point that I started to hate myself. I wanted a relationship but maybe I wasn’t good enough but that’s fine.
Women don’t owe me anything and nor do they need to.
I have seen over 200 before
Check out the dildo section...
What does that even mean
@theflash675 ((if you are referring to my comment))
Dildo sections FEATURING:
#1 corn cob textured 12 inch dildo.
#2 dragon shaped dildo.
#3 Alien egg pumping dildo.
and so on...
What does that have to do with ANYTHING?
@theflash675 physical standards that women have for pleasure.
that are unattainable for men...
Well all those standards sound gross anyways is that even common?
@theflash675 I don't think every female or male will just suddenly start exposing their dirtiest desires that most people find gross... So we may never know if it is common. lol
@theflash675 BUT if you can find out the rate of funding/spending goes into it.. You will receive your answer.
Very true amazon is doing good because they sell many dildos. Many other chain stores won't but who knows maybe one day
200 IQ downvoters confirmed 😂😂😂
Opinion
607Opinion
The only people who tend to have these expectations for women... are women. They see other women on social media, see men liking the pictures, and think men expect them to have these perfect physical qualities.
But then... we go outside... see men and women with... regular men and women... and almost none of us see a single instagram model. Hmm...
It's because women are the ones who fall into these traps and take it to the extreme extent that we do. Most guys, even attractive ones, don't expect you to be physically perfect and likely don't want that. I have been body shamed by women plenty of times in my life, I can count on two hands the amount of times it's happened. For men, I can name a few accounts and it was only after I rejected them.
Women do usually have high physical standards for guys (especially guys your age). But after age 25, his financial status rapidly overtakes it in importance. Personality is also a factor in most cases.
Men actually have more standards to meet.
I think men are programmed to care more about looks since good looking people are more fertile and the purpose of sex is procreation and the sustaining of the human species
Men need to be fertile for that to happen too so the same logic would seem to apply to them as well.
There is evidence that attractive couples more often have daughters and the hypothesis I've heard for that is that's because looks benefit women more than men. Men always look for looks, but women mainly look for looks for short term sex and not long term. They prefer money or resources over looks in LTR's (generally). Who knows why though? It's really speculative.
www.psychologytoday.com/.../beautiful-people-have-more-daughters
@Dzokson00
That's what I meant. I said "resources" so it sounded less offensive. Resources means money though. This stuff is fairly theoretical though. It's not hard science.
@Dzokson00
I'm still not fond of gold diggers. I want to be liked for me. Just because something is an instinct, doesn't mean I have to like it or want it in my life. Domestic abuse is very instinctive along with men possibly naturally being cheaters. Obviously those aren't good traits. Violence in general is how we are wired to express disagreement. We see this everywhere, it's just attenuated by the thereat of jail.
@cavmanier no dude i didn't say you should ignore golddigers and let them date you for your money, what you like is your choice, i dont like golddigers myself, but i heard my friend say she would like to be with this dude because he is rich and some of them started shouting gold digger at her...
she felt bad and i was like "nah ignore it, id date dat dude for cash too no homo"
@Dzokson00
I get what you mean. Your friend probably also meant she likes the money, but that wouldn't likely be the only reason for dating a person. Money is important.
Speaking for myself, I don't have such a "high" physical standard for women. I would say I have a very "human" standard. I understand that we do not choose our genetics, and women in particular can be very sensitive to even the smallest physical aspects of themselves they do not appreciate. Hence, women are naturally inclined to impose a high sense of standard upon themselves which they project outwardly as being "what guys want"
But most of you are just wrong. Guys find women in general attractive simply for being women. We each have our own preferences. Half the traits you suggested? I don't care.
I like small breasts, women with normal proportions and "meat" on their bones INCLUDING fat -- like jeez, I think you're prettier with your imperfections and that just shows your humanity. I really don't care about butt, I think 98% of women have an attractive ass.
I definitely prefef short hair and tomboys, and well above average height. I'm 5' 7" so short by American male standards and I am most attracted to heartier women 5' 10" or even taller.
Maybe I'm an outlier, but I don't think so. I think every guys' got his preferences. That preference is molded by many factors.
What women seem to do is see all these popular divas on TV and assume that guys must be nuts for that body. But no, not really.
Yes, they may be sexually attractive, but there is a world of difference between wanting to fuck someone that won the lottery in looks, and genuinely being attracted to someone because you think they're actually beautiful.
Guys are at fault for objectifying women as sex objects, but again, guys just tend to be more sexual and objective. We see the world as things (including each other), and only when we really care do we bother to see other people as human beings (again, including each other)
If you think guys only objectify women, you are sorely mistaken. Guys objectify each other far more than they objectify women. That is simply our typical approach for dealing with the world in simpler and more objective terms.
In general, speaking from an evolutionary perspective women are judged by their looks while men are judged by their competence. That's because a woman will undoubtedly face a period of many years where she is forced (by the circumstances of biology and nature) to care for the children. Before the modern era and still in a few poor places in the world women have 5-8 kids from which only 1 or 2 survive to adulthood. That means she is in a perpetual state of caring for infants and young children. And because the is the one who breast feeds, she is stuck in that role. Her pregnancy also makes it unwise for her to risk her health doing any work that could end up hurting her.
So the man is left to take care of all the other things that isn't appropriate for childbearing women to do. That includes a wide range of tasks to get food, shelter, organize and keep relations within social groups and defend against animals and other humans. The men has to be able to face a much wider range of problems and thus need to be competent in a large domain of activities and preferably specialized in at least one.
These roles and the differences they ensue have been established biologically, mentally, physically and culturally over millions of years of evolution.
Men are attracted to healthy looking women, i. e symmetrical, young looking, feminine and other attributes that have been associated with health. Because it's in their best interest to choose a healthy mate who will produce healthy offspring. Taking care of children is extremely hard labor, but it's not complex so complex problem solving skills aren't needed to any large extent.
Women on the other hand have less emphasis on appearances in their choice of mate. First and foremost, the males who survive and thrive within the social group and in the world are obviously best suited to survive almost however they look. Some obvious things are of course considered attractive because it increases the likelihood of survival such as muscular body, height and lack of other physical (and emotional) handicaps.
How do women choose which men are most competent? The look at who the other men choose to be the leader or look to in different circumstances. Because if the group deems one individual better att some important tasks, he is obviously more likely to get help and be liked and thus survive. Even if it's for something trivial as being funny. Entertainment is beneficial to the group.
I think that answers the question.
There is a huge range of men view as 'ideal'.
Some guys like thick women.
Some like big tits.
Some like big round asses.
Some like long hair.
I don't think women know what men really want. They compare themselves to what they see in magazines and on t. v. They also compare themselves to other women (who also emulate women in magazines and on t. v.).
Funny fact: not all guys see celebrities as ideal.
I know guys who like those types. I also know guys who like women with a little more meat on their bones.
I actually like small tits. What is sexiest to me is a nice ass. It doesn't have to be huge, just nicely shaped.
I could give a shit about hair length. I have been attracted to women with long hair and some with pretty short hair. It just depends on how it fits your face.
The stomach thing... yeah, overweight (to me) is unattractive but a little bit of a round belly can be sexy. It depends on the girl.
Shaming is wrong but is often a guy's way of telling women that they wish their lady wouldn't let themselves go. It is a hard truth but many women keep it together until they land a guy, then once they do, they completely forget about taking care of themselves.
Don't agree? What is the first thing a woman does when she ends a relationship and enters into the 'market'. She starts watching what she eats. She starts walking, running, joins a gym, etc.
Women know full well what they are doing. Men see it as a bait and switch.
Normally, if a guy gets himself into shape, he does it for himself. Quite often, if after you start a relationship with him he starts gaining weight or becomes out of shape, he stopped working out because his time is limited because of the time with you. Also, it is very typical for a guy to put on weight when he's with a woman because she is sliding a plate full of food in front of him much more often than he ever had before.
My ex hated it when I went to the gym. She constantly accused me of things... not wanting to spend time with her, trying to look good for someone (jealousy), not really going to the gym but hooking up with someone, etc. I would regularly see her do gym drive-byes.
I never gave her any reason. Not once, in all of our years together, did I ever even consider it even during the split.
She wanted to fatten me up because she was so insecure. I wouldn't stop looking out for my health but some guys do, just to appease their S. O.
All of this is real. Don't kid yourself! Men all over are experiencing the same things.
First of all we need to drop this concept of these things being a requirement. It's like a guy talking about why are standards so high for men in terms of their life status. He's supposed to have a decent car, a decent place with zero roomates, a decent job, maintain decent shape specifically because "girls HAVE to put in so much work into their appearance, so you have to aswell", he's supposed to do all of the yard work, take out the trash, be handy around the house. So much more than just his appearance. The standards for men are higher if you look at it objectively. But they're not a requirement. And realistically speaking no one really cares if you don't meet the superficial standards of society at large. Obviously those things will help you, but you don't NEED them. It's a good idea to drop the believe that it's relevant at all.
Because the real question is does it stop you from living the life you want live or getting what you want out of life in general? Does it really matter that a lot of men want a woman that meets whatever concept of a standard you have in mind? That's not even questioning whether or not that is a true "standard" men have, because I can tell you men vary in what they like. But assuming it's true. Why does it matter? Is it stopping you? I say this to guys and girls. Just like a short guy getting caught up in being insecure about his height. It doesn't have to stop you, unless you let it stop you.
Put it perfectly. Thank you for the inspiration today.
(part 1 of 2, yes I got that long with it)
I'll admit, guys who shame a gal on how she looks is absolutely screwed up and I sincerely hope that none of you ladies get with that type of guy and allow him to pass on his genes. That being said, don't worry, we have body standards too.
Y'all say 'in shape' and that's it, but you're actually really picky and every one of you want something different. Long head hair or clean cut, Beard and/or mustache or clean shaven, chest hair or baby smooth, muscley or 'a bit more to love'/'dad bod', hairy legs or smooth. Don't have back hair, don't be sweaty. Have 'enough' dick on you, compared to all the guys that came before us (not that we know how well your past guys were hung). Dress 'well' with collared shirts and khakis, don't look a thug or burnout or stoner or fckboy. You're probably thinking to yourself, "yeah why would I settle for what I don't like or am not attracted to?" Well EXACTLY.
And I have high socio-economic and emotionally supportive standards to meet for you, that /you/ have the freedom not to have to meet if you should choose. You'll want us to have a good-paying job whether you have a career-mind or not, so you have the option to stay home if you want. Enough money to pay for you to go traveling, if you feel cooped up at home or exhausted from work - again, your option. And money to go to restaurants almost regularly or kitchen skills if you're not the cooking type. Our own place to live so you don't have to keep paying for your apartment 'cause nobody's okay with a house-husband, a clean reliable vehicle of our own 'cause you have the option not to ever have to drive.
(part 2)
And we have to acquire all this, and prep and preen ourselves in the hopes of raising the likelihood you'll choose us over all the competition, before we even begin to put ourselves out there for a permanent relationship. When we do manage to find someone to say 'yes' to the first date. And if you do choose us over the hundreds of thousands of potential mates in your area, that's when the real work begins.
We have to ask you out, plan where to take you and 'surprise' you with it, sell ourselves as being nearly perfect and figure out how slowly to peel back our flaws so as not to scare you off, invite you into our den which slowly changes into your den with us in it. We gotta make sure our bedroom game is better than the next guy but you've got the freedom to compare. And we're expected to have the utmost loyalty, but if you're not getting what you want it's 'my body my choice' thinking we don't have a heart to break.
(part 3, I lied)
Once more I'm going to try to predict your thoughts on this issue; "Why should I put up with what I don't like just to make you feel better?" Again, EXACTLY. Just like you can sweep our heart aside for the slightest failure to fit your standards, we can choose what shape and attractiveness in the person we chase after to be put through their trials and see if we come out a better husband for it. But except for the "incel" community, how often do you hear us complaining? We just deal.
I agree 100% with all of this. Except you left something very important out of the equation.
I hate when some men expect their wife or girlfriend to be model-like, yet they’re ugly and smelly themselves! It’s like, w-h-y?
Those same ugly and smelly men (which implies not taking care of hygiene or looks) complain about women 24/7 in forums and sites like this, and that’s what women are angry about. Men thinking that they’re better than they actually are.
How many pretty women do you see dating men who are way older, fatter and uglier? Lots! But how many hot men do you see dating women who are older, fatter and uglier? Close to none!
And yes, I know what you’re thinking - “How many pretty women do you see dating THOSE men who are also poor?” Close to none, I agree! Money is a high motivation for women to date a guy. But nowadays women are slowly but surely more expected to pay their own shit as well.
Many of my female friends have gotten shamed for not liking men for his personality. That’s when these ugly and fat men say “Women are so shallow! All my friends are dating a hot girl but I’m not! Every girl that likes me is ugly and fat! *freaks out*”
And I’m like... Really, dude? You’re ugly, fat, smelly and have a shit personality. EXPECTING to get a hot girl for your fake persona (which everyone can clearly see through) but at the same time not making an effort to look better, smell better and even BE a better person?
That’s what lots of men are doing nowadays and it sucks!
So we're not talking about /all/ men or even /lots/ of men, we're talking about ugly/overweight/smelly men who want perfect women and complain they're not getting women of the desirability they want but aren't willing to achieve? That's actually a very small group - they maybe be vocal online, but that's the only place they can find the perfect women they want, in porn pics and live cams. There's a few terms that describe this type of man, like "neckbeards", or "incels", or "trolls", but none are quite as specific as we're outlining here. Neckbeards might manage to find a pretty woman if they have money and personality. Incels might find a pretty woman if they have hygiene and money. Trolls might find a pretty woman if they have personality and hygiene. So I'll call them neckbeard incel trolls just to cover all bases...
... Point is, that's a very small group of men in reality. And, I absolutely condemn shaming women for any particular reason. But if this very small group of men shame women they can't get, that shouldn't reflect on me as a person or my gender as a whole...
... As for those pretty women who somehow stay with a smelly, ugly, verbally abusive man, I'm sorry to say it's their judgement of potential partners that is most in question. If they have the assets to be considered above the station of that type of man, then they can easily set of in search of a new one.
I'm not defending a shitty type of man or even men in general, I'm just saying y'all have standards too, no one has 100% acceptance of every member of a gender as a potential partner.
Let's go through this piecemeal
>big boobs
Some like smaller
>big butt
Some like smaller
>no stomach
What does this even mean
>be thick
I am perfectly okay with a stick woman and numerous others are too
>be pretty
What is "pretty" is wholly subjective
>have long hair
Some like short hair
>be average height
Many men like short girls. Some like tall girls
>men can look however they want
Not if they have a neckbeard or neckfat
>And still shame women
How does this happen?
>this is because I saw a post online
I saw a post online today saying "What do you call guys under 6 feet tall? Friends". I also saw a post about a man "consensually" fucking his underage cousin. I also saw a post claiming that the earth is hollow.
The most consistent male requirement for females is to not be fat, which may not be the easiest to change but is nonetheless controllable, unlike a man's height. Everything else differs from person to person and is negotiable anyway. Some men literally fetishize fat women, it's why BBW porn exists to begin with
Because physical attraction is the primary factor in what a man wants in a woman.
Emotional attraction is the primary factor in what a woman wants in a man.
So yes, men generally have a higher expectation of physical attractiveness (at least, what they personally consider attractive) whereas women have an expectation that men be "real men" with a whole laundry list of things that are driven by how he makes her feel.
Such as:
Ambition, intelligence, confidence, sense of humor, masculinity (and being able to make her feel girly) and a host of other things that go into whatever a typical woman determines is needed for a man to be a 'real man'
Then throw in things like him having money and the ability to support her, possibly to the point where she need not even work, etc.
Then of course plenty of women care about how physically attractive a man is as well and uh, yeah, it can be a pretty tall order as well.
For most guys, they just want a girl that isn't obese or ugly. Bonus if they're legitimately nice and not crazy.
This is just how the genders tend to work.
Because a lot of men feel like women should be accept them the way they look, but you have to meet their beauty standards for them to want to give her a chance. I see it all the time, some men will call women shallow for not wanting to date a shorter man, but completely ignore that their are who don't want to date tall women. In fact if you look around, most men are with women who are shorter than them. Why is that when they can go for a taller girl? It also has to to do with the media pushing one body type and telling us what is beautiful and what isn't beautiful. For the longest time and even now, thin white women and built white men have been made the standard of beauty. When someone doesn't fit into this standard, people shame them for it. It has affected both sexes, but women seem to show reaction to it the most cause a woman doesn't like her femininity and beauty being challenged. As women, that's kinda important to us cause every woman wants to feel beautiful and desirable to a man.
See you're conflating different issues.
All a woman needs to do to be considered attractive is have a low body fat.
What you're talking about, is what it takes to be seen as Very attractive, which means competing against other women who are also trying to be seen as very attractive.
It's the same shit for men. A man can hit a good baseline just by not bring fat. If he wants to be seen as very desirable, he has to compete against other men by doing things like getting ripped (Which requires far mor effort than losing body fat btw) as well as having a high income. It is far harder for a man to try to earn 100k a year than it is for a woman to lose 100 pounds of fat.
Men absolutely have to put in more effort to be seen as a highly attractive partner than a woman does. Literally all YOU need to do is hit the gym periodically and watch what you eat. You can be poor, a slob, uneducated, have multiple kids and guys will still be interested. We're over here sacrificing trying to earn higher degrees, climbing the corporate ladder on top of gym and dieting.
Even if we're ONLY talking about physical standards, again it takes us far more time on the gym to get into an appealing shape because building muscle is a pain, and we have to build it across our entire body, not simply our ass like you do. Losing fat is so much easier. A guy doesn't just hit the genetic lottery and wake up every morning ripped, but tons of women wake up thin without any effort.
I'm ranting too much though, but no you have it easy. You just don't realize it because we men have been fucking up and spoiling y'all rotten.
No... a low body fat doesn't mean the woman has big boobs, a big butt, and drastic curves.
I agree. Those are what she needs to be very attractive. But just having low body fat is enough to be aytractive to the majority of men.
I disagree.
Men have just as many standards though I think the way it's reacted to is different.
Men don't pitty themselves so openly when they do not meet the standards
For instance.
Abs and muscles usually over 6 foot is a requirement as well which is ridiculous when the average height is 5' 10"
Men also have more standards aside from their look.
A car. They have to be kind caring and sympathetic but they can't be panzies. They have to be able to treat their girl like a queen but have the confidence to not let her push him around.
If he has money he is more attractive anyhow.
And more that I can't even comprehend.
Because I am 6' 2" work in insurance have abs I treat every woman like a queen and am extremely confident but still cannot find a girlfriend.
I also do not fall into the category of guy who likes that stereotype of woman.
Point is.
Everyone gets to look however they want and there's always going to be someone who doesn't like it.
I do think that women are objectified and I don't think it's okay.
But that doesn't mean that men are not
It has to do with our adaptations over time to survive as a species. things have changed too quickly. that type of 'life or death' survival isn't really a problem for us now and the world changes so fast day to day we dont really have time to adapt as a whole before the next big leap and it leaves us all with a bunch of hardwired mechanisms/instincts/behaviors that stick out like sore thumbs because they conflict with daily life (obesity is a good example), and everyone is confused to no end and pissed off at each other and themselves. We're in a constant game of catch-up. Which I hope will just force us to evolve to adapt faster, or we'll peak and all have a moment to catch our damn breaths.
My advice is don't take internet posts to heart. Having been a chubby person and a person with a 6 pack, I can tell you first-hand women most certainly do care what men look like, just a different way of showing it, and I just make peace with the fact that it's wrong for me to blame them for it.
Men as a whole never said you must be that way, but we definitely prefer those things, just like women as a whole never said I must be ripped or have a nice house or a well paying job or a nice car or ambition, passion, sympathy, confidence etc.. but they prefer it. Or so it seems ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
In a time where we're striving to be accepting of everyone's beliefs, sexual orientation/identity, religion etc.. I don't think it's a proper response to be angry at a woman who prefers a man with money and/or a nice body, or a man who prefers a woman with money and/or a nice body. Nor should you be angry at yourself for it.
People will comment on this stuff, and sometimes it'll offend you, upset you and make you feel uncomfortable, that's life. And being uncomfortable is a fundamental part of learning.
So what you've encountered is what I like to call, a jackass. For men to be considered men, we have to be 6'+, have a nice beard, nice hair, a rock hard beach body with a nice tan, nice smile, huge arms, not give a fuck but be sweet at the same time, and have an amazing personality as well. There are 2 sides to this coin. Men just say it out loud. Women can do the same. Neither are necessarily right, but having standards isn't a bad idea. My personal preference is either a black or Asian woman with a nice smile, intelligent, and we have great communication. The more interested I am out in the open, the more interesting things will become behind closed doors. All of the traits that you and I havelisted would be nice, but they are unrealistic. Now, I do believe that there has to be some level of mutual physical attraction. My father put it to me like this, if you aren't interested in them physically, then things will never work. I had a relationship with this woman for 2 years in high school. She was incredibly sweet, smart, and caring. She made an M&M cake for me and spelled out "PROM?" on it as her way to asking me to her prom. (Different school districts) I adored her, but I had no physical desire to be with her. She wanted to get intimate, but I just couldn't do it. Eventually she broke up with me and found someone. They're doing really well and I hope that things stay that way. She just wasn't the one for me. In the end, I'd put physical attraction to emotional around a 25%-75%. If your partner makes you happy, then who cares what anyone else thinks. You're preference is just that. A preference.
Interesting question. In terms of what your saying you must remember that a lot of men intially assess women on a sexual level. This is related a lot to genetic conditioning to ensure the survival of the human race. Large breasts were often a sign of lots of milk being produced for the young. General shape would indicate if the woman herself was best suited for survival etc. Since women generally looked after the young whilst males hunted, we are genetically conditioned to desire physical traits in a woman that indicate our young will survive. In return women also have this conditioning, yet it is on a more emotional level. Is he good with children? Is he kind, loyal and does he look like he can survive and gather food. These are often desirable traits for women in a man.
So in answer to your question, initially it's a genetic potential assesment in preparation for the outcome of sex. However after that subconscious assesment will come a conscious one. At this point it's really a matter of effort. If a man isn't really interested outside of a sexual relationship, they will stick to their subconscious assesment. It's actually a matter of laziness in my opinion. It takes time to really find things to connect with in someone who you don't plan to meet again. Much easier to be lazy till you need to be self reflective as to weather you want more
Ummm 😅 im only 15 and i know that this is completely wrong. Girls are just as bad about this as guys. I constantly have to deal with people talking about how scrawny, short, etc. I am. Girls have standards of the perfect guy, usually, the stereotypical perfect guy is muscular, tall, and if you really want to be stereotypical, he should have a big dick, im just being blunt, thats what the stereotypical girl wants. Of course you can't just specify one gender and call it good. Because sure, guys want a girl thar meets their standards, and the internet, social media, and just the outside world in general tries to decide thar for us. It slowly morphs our minds into what we expect a perfect girl should be like. Media also changes the mindset of women of the perfect man. a lot of it also has to do with how they were raised, if they were raised getting what they want, they might expect the perfect woman, so they frown upon the avarage girl. Stamdards can go either way, its not up to you to decide which gender is guilty because both genders do it.
The reality is, men and women have different approaches and mindsets when it comes to finding a potential mate.
Men work on theory. They use logic to decide if they are attracted or not. Sometimes, if we make it far with a woman, we will find out we were wrong. She looked good on paper, but for whatever reason, it just isn't "there".
Women work on intuition. They need to feel the attraction. They do not preconceive what is attractive, they just know it when they feel it. They accept it isn't a science and just let it be what it is.
The difference between these two ways is the approach. The guy sees a woman he figures will be attracted to, and that is what he wants. A woman needs to feel something that attracts her. That means her choice will be far more selective.
I can tell you as a man that when I have experienced the intuitive/feeling attraction, all bets were off. The woman more often than not did not look like what I guess would be called my "type". It was that intangible thing that made her special.
I think its equal. I grew up always being shorter than the average hieght and was skinny. Girls where more cruel to me than guys in school. After sophmore yr I grew amd girls all of a sudden where showing interest by end of junior yr. I Wrestled you see so i got really tone. But the hypocrisy of it all. After I was a Marine. Its funny how you dont wear a uniform and you ask a random girl a question she looks at you like who are you. Throw on a uniform and how quick she responds. So I honestly see it both ways. It comes down to us checking ourselves and asking ourselves if we are being to judgmental or not. That goes for all aspects such as looks, personality and how or why someone makes a decision. We may not know that person is having a hard day or what. So I guess before we judge we should first check ourselves and be the mature one and check off a few boxes before being quick to judge. Plus no one can pick when they are born what the want to look like. So its kinda unfair to criticize people on something they have no control over. Hope this is some food for thought and its a really good question. :)
Your opinion is COMPLETELY one sided.
You're so focused on what females have to go through that you can't even take a second to try and look at things from the male perspective.
Men have to take the initiative, that alone can be a nightmare, how many times do you think a shy guy is approached or has the chance to have female interaction (of any kind)? If you're not able to approach you'll feel worse every chance you waste, you'll regret that you didn't have the strength to break your habit and talk to the girl, just saying hi triggers the brains panic response, which in turn makes you feel even worse, less motivated to try, more fearful of rejection, more closed.
The dude may be an amazing, exciting person full of interesting ideas, but will be called a looser and never be respected for the rest of his life.
Plus, men have to be flirty but not creepy, confident but not a jerk, playful but not a clown, provider and caretaker but strong and independent, sensitive but masculine.
Its not easy for either of us, especially with the pressure of society on both sides.
No woman wants to be considered a slut, but you girls have needs, lust, wishes and desires just like us.
No guy wants to have to constantly place himself in the hands of women and face rejection after rejection until he can finally make a connection with one (that he may end up not actually liking), but if we don't have initiative and somewhat succeed we'll be branded as a looser, unmanly, insufficient, unable, unfit.
With that said, the guy who said that is an absolute cunt, I hope the closest thing he has to intimacy is his right hand, which it probably is.
The standard is little bit the same both ways.
Most of the time it's something insecure individuals put on themselves and try to put on others sometimes.
The less you care what others think and if you doesn't have the right body for someone you two are a mismatch from the start.
You have this thing that has to do with unhealthy in the long run that also are many times lazy attitude behind that makes someone unattractive by default for many subconsciously, but those standards you hear and see aren't really something healthy in the long run and has extreme lifestyles behind (for starter to much protein intake or to little carbs, both have high risk for blood sugar and insulin problems with to long on it).
Do you know what, It's much more attractive if a person has enough with confidence and are secure enough with self esteem at any hight that has that extra from the inside with small but and flat chested than someone that have all those exterior standards.
Personal I'm not that funded in big wide hips with big behind, but that doesn't make a difference since the inside must be right with the right touch and emotion energy between, yeah, the sexuality must also match.
Well, advertisements play a huge part in our everyday life. If you think about it. Models are always advertised as the perfect girl. Without our population realizing that our brains are being manipulated. On how a perfect girl is suppose to look. Women then compare themselves to those models in advertisements and sometimes to other women. Guys also get their minds tricked into believing in the perfect girl from the advertisements. Without realizing that many times photoshop is being used. This is why it is belived in our society that girls are supposed to be a specific way. When in reality, we are all humans who come in different shapes and sizes that makes us unique from one another. The beauty that helps us identify as ourselves for who and how we are physically and mentally. Not the same as each other but different in our own ways. Also, its not true that men can always look however they want. Girls also have their mind manipulated by advertisements. To many women out there. A guy has to be tall, or white skin, brown hair, blue eyes, has to have a six pack, etc. This situation can go vice versa.
The fuck is this anti-male-hate-speach bullshit
Males have way more fucking standards than girls think
If a guy looks a certain way in the face he is usually branded a creep by other men and girls
Fuck off with your "Oh girls have to do this" bullshit
99% OF THE FUCKING PROBLEM WITH OUR STANDARDS ARE ALL CAUSED BY OURSELVES MEN USED TO BE FUCKING ATTRACTED TO OUR GOD DAMN ANKLES AND WRISTS, WOMAN ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO BE THE COMPETITION BY LOOKING MORE ATTRACTIVE SO ALL OF THIS BIG TITTY SEXY BODY SHIT IS OUR PROBLEM CAUSED BY US SO FUCKIN ACCEPT IT
And nowadays they get more and more naked to grab our attention.
I have a flat ass and minimal boobs and had no problem finding men. My boyfriend loves my body. You are completely over exaggerating. Plenty of people have unrealistic expectations but there are also plenty of people who have reasonable ones and everyone is different. Not all men find big boobs attractive or a big ass. Everyone likes their own things.
I know you don't have a problem finding men! That's because while your Cosmo magazine is telling you that you need big tits and thick ass too find men, it's the actual man that's telling you you need or don't need big tits or muffins (I like most guys prefer tight, delicious muffins but some dudes do like the water balloons), or a huge or tight, petite ass. You learned from the source (men) what we really prefer when it comes to the physical attributes! Only the naive will turn to Cosmo, and end up mind-fucked in the end.
I think there are standards for men too. you're being a little hyporitical. Dont men have to have muscular lean bodies, strong masculine featureS THAT JAWLINE THO , taller than u even with heels, deep voiced and bonus if theyre good at sports? Not to mention a small dick would be the saddest of all when they have the least control over it? Men have it hard too. We all do.
Here’s my viewpoint. Women are pressured from society to maintain a proper physical physique, however I don’t think men have the smoothest sail. For example, while this standard is applicable to a multitude of scenarios, men have a high standard to reach when it comes to dating. With society media presenting men with these toned and masculine figures, they may expect the women to have an expectation met in order to be datable. Men are typically expected to pursue the women, while women can select from potential suitors. So yes, it’s unfair that women are expected to meet a certain physical standard all around, however, men have it difficult in other scenarios. No one gets away scotch free.
Why do women have such high financial, social, and educational standards for men?
To be an attractive guy you have to be: Rich (at least well-off), caring, funny, attractive, sexy, do well in bed, care about his girlfriend like she's a UFO sighting, care about sex, not care about sex, have lots of friends but not hang out with them more than her, not be too demanding yet listen to her 'opinion,' be understanding and listen, know how to do things around the house, pay for the meal (because apparently paying for your expenses is 'manly').
I'd take looking after my health, exercising, and makeup to get laid and find a good life over this bullshit anyday.
"Care about his girlfriend like she's a UFO sighting" HA!
The standard is high for both genders. You only feel the pressure of female standards because you're a girl, but if you were a guy I bet you wouldn't be saying the same. Guys have it, I'm not going to say equally as hard, but they also have it hard. Surely like girls they don't all look like models, but they also feel the pressure to do so. They feel the pressure to get fit, to get buff, to be tall, to be smooth or a sweet talker, to have a good sense of style, etcetera. They feel most of the pressures that we do as well. Really we're more a like than people might think of social standards.
You only mentioned the physical pressures. Its a lot deeper than that with men. I'm not even considering dating until I'm out of college, and that's because I don't have anything to offer in a relationship other than looks. I know the physical is what the topic is about but the two go together in a mans situation.
I get this crap from women too, it's not just men. Women want a man with a six pack, thin build, and tall. I'm 5'7", large build, muscular but not shredded, and spend my time worrying about my goals instead of women. Oh and don't get me started on how you have to act to be considered attractive. I'd rather spend my time with my friends and family then have to pretend to be someone I'm not just to get laid when I could be working towards my degree or training. I think men just don't really care as much about being attractive because at the end of the day we can take it or leave a lot easier.
Okay sorry, I misread the thing for a second and thought "huh, that's true. But that also makes sense because it's supposed to be like that." The I realised I had switched "men" and "women" lol. Took me a second to realize what you meant because I thought you were talking about physical strength. Then I read the whole question and it made sense.
I... Don't see it. Have you seen the girls some guys find attractive? Almost any girl can get a guy, as long as she's got a hole between her legs. Lots of guys honestly have very low standards. I don't see what you mean at all, sorry...
I'm afraid I have to disagree with you on the height thing. That is very much something men have to put up with a lot more often, mainly because what women find attractive height-wise is less common than what women find attractive height-wise. The physical standard for men is also extremely high, and to say it's one-sided is simply a misunderstanding.
Personally I don't really care about a girl's body when it comes to her "assets". I prefer slender girls, but as long as they have a healthy body I'm not really concerned. I only really pay attention to her face
Interesting. I was under the impression women only want tall, muscular/toned men with little to no excess body fat and who can tan well but don't immediately come off as belonging to any one minority. Silly me, I must have believed more in multi-media standards rather than feeling confident in how I look and feel.
All the double standards... You guys have it rough too.
I mean don't get me wrong, I would love to be more fit than I am, that being said, I am already a lot healthier than a good portion of people I see. The difference is how genetics make your muscle look on your body and where your body stores fat.
I don't feel like it's true at all that men can look however they want. For example, go on any given dating site and you'll find a plethora of women who won't even consider a man unless he's taller than her. Check out websites that post conversations from apps like tinder and you'll notice that sexist jokes and overly sexual opening lines often get a pass when coming from attractive men, while the same kinds of lines being used by average and below men get shut down hard. In fact, there have been studies that have even shown such extreams as the top 80% of women on the physical attractiveness scale only really go for the top 20% of men. While there are certainly more vocal male assholes than female, when it comes down to actual dating and sex, I find that men are actually much less picky about appearance.
Actually, there are people of both genders with high standards towards the opposite gender. There are just more women than men who are complaining about that.
Men complain just as much as women, try visiting those MGTOW channels
@SaintRaghu yeah they are known to me. But its usually not about unrealistic beauty standarts on there lol
I know. Now remember that I knew you wouldn’t reply to this comment but I like taller women only.
I had a spoiled childhood and never had a mother figure in my life, I’ve got bullied by women in all my childhood and there was one girl who used to save me from bullies and used to feed me my lunch cuz my mother made me completely incapable but then I shifted to some other school because of my dysfunctional family and I’m 18 years old now and I feel absolutely no attraction to short women but the times have changed and I’ve seen that girls of my age who used to like my cute behaviour a couple of years ago, they longer like that anymore because of social media’s influence over society and Film industries which shape their preferences.
I beat up 4 guys cuz they wanted to take away my wallet and those same girls started hitting on me like they used to in my childhood, how absurd is that?
It’s weird to see how trends change so quickly.
I usually get no replies whenever I talk about it but I don’t expect one either. I’ve always looked for something more than just sex and I’ve never found it.
That’s okay.
@SaintRaghu Umm... sorry but telling the story of your life here without any context was a bit random o_o xD By the way, if you want other people to sympasize with you, not tell them that you aren't expecting an answer anyway.
I guess you'd get better replies if you would share this with people who actually know you and care about you instead of telling it to some random people on here.
But heyy... tall women need love aswell :P
I’m not trying to sympathise, I get emotional support from nobody cuz I have no parents and don’t make friends anymore and I face name calling and sexual harassment but I’m embarrassed to take psychiatric help to get over my depression and anxiety.
You don’t know me, it isn’t that I only share stuff with random people, the place where I live nowadays is just too toxic that I can’t make friends, I’ve been recorded by a woman and I asked her to delete the video..
I don’t care about my imaginary manhood, I get hurt and when I don’t get anyone to talk to I come on internet, not begging for sympathy either but I’m hurt.
Well, first off the post you read was by a lonely troll hoping to elicit a response from anyone.
Beyond that, woman have forever been sexualized while men have been monetized.
There are far too many to blame for these beliefs but it largely rests with the media.
" woman have forever been sexualized while men have been monetized" ... Wise words , and well put. Deliberate toxic " media " BS !! Toxic social engineering at work , serving selfish agendas.
only players want what you describe here, and women put a lot of these expectations on their perceived (usually wrong) notions that all men are the same or whatever. as soon as kids start to grow up and see the changes with their female classmates from children to young teens and into their 20's and 30's they see girls they have liked all their lives, and their breast size doesn't matter, their butts don't matter. nobody cares that much.
It's women who read these magazines and Instagram accounts with makeup and tutorials on how to please a man and all that shit that make you think that you have to be this or that way. not once have I heard a guy say that he wishes the girl had makeup on, many times I HAVE thought differently than my male friends about a girl/woman growing up in terms of finding her attractive or not.
It's not what society feeds you, its that you have to feel alright with yourself.
I understand that it can be upsetting but it's definitely not just women.
Let me put some perspective on this for you. Bare in mind it's constantly accepted that men are the only visual creatures but when you look at the list below it doesn't seem that way.
-Women do not have to worry about being short, average height or even taller anywhere near what mean do. There is such a stigma nowadays of thinking all guys need to be over 6'3.
-there is literally a section in porn called BBW (big beautiful women) I doubt fat guys get that kind of attention.
-If you're skinny as a girl it's petite or model. As a guy it's called a turn off.
I can name more but the point is that it's not easy on other sides and I know of plenty of average girls who still talk shit about guys looks as well. Not all guys care that much like you say. We want pretty but we aren't braindead, we'd like more than some good looks.
Meanwhile 1/65 of UK population is on anabolic steroids. 65-66% of those take it purely for aesthetics, 35% take it for bodybuilding.
The big "superhero" names in Hollywood?
Chris Evans
Chris Hemsworth
Chris Pratt
Henry Cavill
Jason Momoa
Dwayne Johnson
Mark Wahlberg
Ben Affleck
Matt Damon
Tom Hardy
All of these guys, and a lot more, are almost certainly verified steroid users.
So what was it you were saying about expectations?
Bonus rounds: "I don't date below 6'1""
Meanwhile the world average is 5'9".
No, you women have high standards for each other. I hear more women criticizing each other's looks than I do men. Also the beauty industry wants you to think that men have these standards when they really don't so that you buy all their programs.
Men have equal if not higher physical standards. Getting a six pack can take years along with some genetic components, but it's almost expected if you want to attain a status of "hot"
Stop projecting your idea of men's expectations on us. I've had to tell girls so many times to stop caring about being 120 lbs and stop caring about breast implants. Men DO. NOT. CARE. Just don't be obese. Everything else is unnecessary extra credit.
I've noticed most of the high standards for women come from media and other women. Men are usually not assholes about it and won't notice if you aren't perfect by society's standards. The guy who posted that question online is just self conscious and doesn't love himself
This is a very good example of how everyone has their own perception of the world around them. Because for me it is far more about the intelligence a woman has and that she is able to keep herself in decent shape through exercise.
As for physical standards for men, there are definitely social standards. Men who are too fat or too skinny are frowned upon, geeks and gamers are at times past over for someone with muscles. There have been news reports on how many women won't date a guy under 5 foot 10 inches in height.
So yeah, there are definitely standards each gender has for the other, as for the ones you're referring specifically, I'm not sure what those are from.
You're projecting. The high standards set for women, are set by women. Women do the vast majority of the shaming (a statistical fact). And to claim there are no standards for men is utterly ridiculous. Men must be strong, tall, muscular, lean, well groomed and smell good to be considered hot. And that's not even considering the personality standards. Here's a nice little statistic for you. On average, women consider 80% of men to be below average in attractiveness. On average men consider 50% of women to be below average.
It totaly depends on the person. There are a lot of superficial boys but also a lot of superficial girls out there.
But for me one thing is for shure. I can fall in love with a person I find semi attractive but is really kind and funny... But not with a super attractive model who is a shitty person.
Se doesn't need to have big boobs or a big butt I don't care at all. All tho I like more petite girls, having a completly flat stomach doesn't really look healthy, except if she's doing lots of sport.
In the end she should look well groomed, smile a lot and her weight should be healthy. But she doesn't have to be a totaly pretty perfect doll... And her height doesn't matter to me at all.
Its high for both , but there is far more pressure on women.
You need the correct gear , and the correct outcome and it needs to look like you " Did it easy " .
I would never be with a large set woman , they just be slim , athletic , with some style , and its pretty easy to get to this criteria.
Womens other problem is child birth , this ro*ts the body , you need to work really hard , and be super careful of diet. Its tougher for women , no doubt , but most important is to not be over weight , and have a nice arse , then you will always be okey.
Most important , no excuses , keep trim and active.
In a book that I read it said that (to men) women are sex objects and (to women) men are success objects, which would make sense why women's looks would be more important. Looks has a lot to do with sexual attraction/stimulation especially because men are very visual and women with that 36'' 24'' 36'' measurement has been shown to be more successful carriage of baby. It's more important that men have money and other factors that indicate success at raising a baby in a stable, healthy environment (which makes since of why old men can lure young women with money). from a biological point of view. it's unfair, i know, i hate it... or perhaps, it's cultural? answer my question please,
Lol. Some of you ladies crack me up. Wht do you bother to even give those guys one minutes thought. We are who we are. Although i choose to be a lesbian. All my doctors are females. None of them have ever said i was to thin lasked an ass of need to get a boob job. I am 5foot 1 inch tall and i weigh around 85 to 90 pounds. Depending on if im getting my friend over. You know what i mean. My boobs are a nice small a Acup size wi th a 28 inch band. All those women out there affected by these guys it is totally up to yoy to ignore them. If you do that then they will start to leave you aloner. Come on now. er take control of your own life
Says a girl with skinny petite in her name telling others not to be insecure ;/
It’s how we are wired men want nubile woman with eye catching aesthetics such big nicely shaped boobs, a full ass that’s not fat, long legs and pretty symmetrically faces.
Guys want a healthy attractive woman to have a good time and knock up before moving on to the next one. Cave men style we fighting human nature by staying with one woman that’s why we always drawn to over woman throughout are lives regardless of the relationship. The personality of the woman is not important since are instincts are to not stay with the woman long term so it bears little weight on attraction. It’s are conscious mind that cares about their personality but it wouldn’t stop are urge to sleep with them if given the chance.
Woman are hardwired to be attracted to confident, socially adept men that can protect and look after them and their offspring. The looks of a man doesn’t effect his ability to be a good provider so woman put less importance on it subconsciously. It’s why bad boys are so attractive to most woman they are attracted to their vibe and it tricks them into thinking make a great partner and dad. Yet they usually have lots of baggage which is the upset of a stable partner.
As guys we have the advantage over woman who can’t control how they look due to their genes and have limit to how attractive they can be in a guys eyes with the use of make up and keeping in shape. But of course looks fade so their is a time limit.
We men do have total control of are attractiveness through way we interact even if we might be born with unfortunate genes such as less comely face or not as physical fit as woman have to be. We can improve are sexual attractiveness over time by working on our selfs.
It maybe a long time ago but are primal nature still rules within us.
It is what it is. But I think part of it has to do with a culture of women being attractive. I think men can be attractive but that's not the main things that attract a woman to a man.
Let me try something.
get-a-wingman.com/.../
ok so there is athletic body but I feel like for men physical attractiveness is more important and for women that non-physical characteristics are more important, LIke can he protect me and can he take care of me.
I could be wrong on this. But I feel like biology plays a role here.
I have to be 6'0 at LEAST, and a good amount of buff, but not like hulking out buff. I can't have pimples, the "perfect" amount of stubble, a smaller nose... very little gray hair, and now it's getting to a point where I have to have good eyebrows.
I also have to pull in at LEAST $60,000 a year on my own, be a hard worker and super ambitious, and have a steady (and brag worthy) job but only work the equivalent of 35-40 hours a week and be able to take off for a while. And if I ever lose my job, I have to find another within 6-12 months (now it's commonly becoming 3-6 months).
not trying to make your statement any less valid, but it ain't that much easier for us as well. the only diference is that the reactions to our physical reality being diferent from the physical standard are more veiled, less on the face. it might have something to do with fear of repercussion (the consequences of words said) or it might be something to do with the power hierarchy that comes with patriarchy *shrugs* but the standard is still there, there's just less talk about it. we do lose jobs because of it, we do lose relationship opportunities becuase of it, we are ridicularized because of it, just on a more discreet way. penis size is also a great deal on that standard, where i usually don't see such rage about the boob size competition, even tho im sure its there. to summarize, most humans are assholes, and they will be assholes no matter who they want to be assholes against.
It's not a must, and most women have at least two of these features. It's more like the ideal body type, the healthiest bodies have certain characteristics.
Not all guys love big breast and big asses , I love girls who are petite 😍😍😍. That fine sexy body. 😍❤︎💘. 🍆🍌 yeah...
Anyways women also have high standards for men but it's usually attainable after half a year in the gym, getting his shit together and being an Alpha Male. Real men are already striving for these goals.
The real problem is women short change themselves. They feel they need the ideal body to attract the alpha males, but all they need to be is fit and healthy. Being fat isn't very attractive for men or women and not very healthy either.
I'm not saying that your statement isn't true, in fact it is. But it's not as bad as you may think. Most men just want a healthy looking woman.
I didn't answer your question did I? Well... women are beautiful creatures without them we be dead. Because of this women were always taken care of back in the old days, in some ways the legal system still does make sure of this, mainly because men mostly run it. That's why women were never forced to go to war.
Standards are wishful ideals people drone on about, but actions vary w socioeconomics, competition, fashion and individual tastes.
Suppose all but two random men were removed from civilization... it wouldn’t matter what they looked like, the competition for them would be so fierce that they would have massive harems and live like kings until enough sons were born.
Or take China’s recently repealed one child policy, skewing the sex ratio for 40 years. Women there can be arbitrarily choosy about every detail, and the hypergamy differences become more like Pretty Woman than real life.
So if anyone feels dismayed by unrealistic women wasting their prime years or sneering at ordinary men except as disposable sperm donors, try mainland China. It also explains the rise of Chinese entrepreneurs: factory workers aren’t exactly eligible bachelors. In America, lower-class men are readily divorced 75% by women; perhaps if the men had better looks, or likely bank accounts, it would be enough.
As someone who almost lost his girlfriend to a 6'3" model (I'm 4 inches shorter and 20 years older) with a washboard stomach (I have a middle-aged paunch) and chiseled features two years ago, and found his pic among her texts with the caption "drool!" under it, I can't say I agree with you. I've been working out like crazy ever since.
Men are actually more easy about accepting the female body. I 100% gurantee you, that the dude who posted that would marry a flat assed girl if he couldnt get a booty one.
I'm a woman
... okay?
Bc you said "the dude who posted this"
She meant the guy you quoted in your question description.
What he said lol
The only people who are really trying to enforce the impossible beauty standards are women. Men like nicer looking women but we don't care enough to make somebody live up to our standards.
@peanutmorehead
Yep, its all apart of the retail brainwashing.
There's billions of men in this world; how can some trend or fashion statement speak for all of them?
Plus, each guy has his own taste; she could be hideous to some, drop dead gorgeous to him
Tru personal tastes can vary widely
well, ***some guys (usually the douche bag population, increasing at a dangerously fast rate) have a pathetically over inflated ego, they want perfect hair, face, body, boobs, personality, everything, even when they themselves are less than adequate. i see so many ugly creeps going up to beautiful women to try and chat them up. The chics are evidently uncomfortable and disinterested, but man thinks he is the hottest thang alive. and of course women have to be perfect. i mean, women will settle with mediocrity because on average, women are less shallow than men. I've never in my whole existence on this planet ever seen a gorgeous man with a chubby/plain woman. On the contrary, I've seen plenty of fat pigs with gorgeous women, and they didn't even have any money.
I don't really think so. Men are held to a certain standard at the very least it's much harder to attract a woman when you're over 240 lb of fat rather than muscle.
As for the standard that normal average size men I almost want to agree with what you're saying but most of the girls I've dated prefer men that are not overly muscular but not overly fat it's a happy medium that you got to find.
But honestly most men look for a girl with a good personality sure having a nice body is nice but it's not end-all-be-all if they have a good ass or good boobs then that's great but I think the s'more is generalizing about social standards rather than individual preferences.
I dont agree with this. I don't mean women too should care about their fvrt boys appearance or how they look. I mean this generally is a wrong culture and belief. Physical features are not the things that make one person special. Maybe some people are famous more for their body but that's mainly because they don't have a more outstanding quality.
Yes, caring about your body is important but as much as it can be called taking care of your health. The size of breasts and stomach isn't much important as long as its not a symptom of obesity or malnutrition. Same goes with ones fashion.
This is not true in most cases and mostly only terrible people think this way and there are a lot of standards for men as well, who are shamed by not only other men, but by some women as well, a man with a fat body, dad bod, small dick, and thinks of the sort are often made fun of and ridiculed/exposed by a lot of people, it is not just women, this question is a bit too general and can easily be read as you accusing all men of doing this so it probably isn't the best question to ask, but a lot of female stereotypes as far as body image are out in place by other women as well
Have you seen how hard men have to work to gain that perfect six pack?
But yeah, although it is true that women are put quite a lot on the spectrum when compared with men they are quite similar.
It depends on the cultural beliefs of what is considered 'high physical standard' e. g. In some places, it is good to be skinny.
Woman put a lot of that kind da shit on them selves one post from someone just being rude for laughs or honestly bitter from hurt and now being a rude dick also girls probably hot that guy up for God knows what reason so then it's work in for him he's gonna continue all that shit it's to commonly desired I'm more it that one thing about ya that makes me notice u among the crowds of Barbie dolls and girls looking like they just to full of themselves that quite who first even know it but she's the one in that room it's for somthing completely outside the book of commonly important features
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