He doesn't want me to date anyone else but he says he doesn't want a relationship with me right now? HELP!!

me and this guy have been friends for a few years. I'm 19 and he's 24. we met when we worked together. about 2 years ago I stopped talking to him because I liked him and he dated my best friend knowing how I felt. Well back in April we started talking again after I added him on FB. things were going well even tho all we did was text and talk on the phone. we started clicking and all the feelings I had came back. when I got home for my summer break we decided to hang out when he was in town. he lives about an hour away from our hometown and he would come down every other week or so. well I gave him my virginity at the beginning of the summer. after that we always had sex after when we hung out. he said that he didn't want me to date or be with anyone else. but he didn't want to be in a relationship right then. well after 6 months this is still going on and now that I'm back at college he is using the distance as an excuse for not being in a relationship. and that he's scared to get hurt. I have promised him that I would never do anything to hurt him that I care about him way to much and I would do anything to make him happy. he still won't budge. what should I do?


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  • Wow. Although I do not know this young man, I can tell you he is a real TOOL! And you're partially responsible for that by allowing him to have dominion over you while you're getting nothing from him. By design, most men are co-dependent creatures. They desire to have a woman around most of the time and if they are not spending time with you, rest assured that they are spending time with someone other than you. There is something that he gains by stringing you along. And I'm sure you know what that thing is although I do not know enough about your situation to know what that thing is. You are getting virtually nothing out of this situation and you're missing on the best years of your life. You're away at college! I have but one request from you sweetie, please do not allow this young man (or anyone else for that matter) prevent you from enjoying what should be the time of your life. Good luck, doll...and peace and love! :)

    • Thank you... I am very much enjoying my college life. However, I'm in love with him and could possibly be pregnant with his kid. I know he will step up and do the right thing if I am. But I just wish that wasn't what it took for him to realize it. We are really good friends and I don't want anything at all to come between our friendship.

    • Well I wish you the best! And I certainly hope that you are not preggers. Not being in a committed relationship with someone & getting pregnant can be bad news. The guy ends up resenting the girl most of the time & then accuses her of trapping him when he could have done his part to prevent it from happening. Again, I wish you the best! :)

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