Why does my boyfriend tickle torture me?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has always had a thing for tickling. The minute he found out that I was ticklish, he has not passed up the opportunity to do so. We'll be watching a movie together on the couch and he'll catch me off guard and tickle attack me until I'm breathless and laughing so hard my head hurts. Sometimes when he carries me he'll move his fingers along my rib cage and laugh as I squirm in his arms. I'm so ticklish that it literally hurts when he makes me laugh too much :( He tells me it's so adorable but he doesn't understand that 6/10 times I don't enjoy it. Just the other day he tickled me until I was literally laughing my brains out. Why? I have also had a few embarrassing moments as a result like when I farted because he wouldn't stop tickling me. That's especially bad because I try to be ladylike and don't like when bodily functions happen out of my control. He does it for his own entertainment and loves my reactions cause I lose all control when I'm tickled like that.

[mrkdvsn]

If I were in a "tickling" relationship with a girl, I would want it to be a consensual two-way thing. Some rules would be: No sudden or unexpected "off-guard" tickling... Both partners would need to be in the mood for it... If the one being tickled says "stop", then the tickler needs to stop. Soft gentle two-way tickling can be a very sensual thing, and mutual trust can be improved if the rules are followed.

[Asker]

Yes I agree with what you said :) in the beginning it was really cute because he would do it infrequently and asked for my permission. Now it just happens anywhere, any time and he laughs at my reactions. I'll try having a conversation with him about it because I'm getting frustrated lol

[mrkdvsn]

Sounds like a good idea. Hope you're successful in convincing him.

[dropkicknj13]

You answered your own question. He thinks it's adorable, he loves your reactions, and it's entertaining.

[Asker]

But shouldn't it be entertaining or enjoyable for me too? Lol

[dropkicknj13]

Well you are smiling and laughing, the 2 main signs of enjoyment lol

[Asker]

anyone who's ticklish knows that laughing is an involuntary response. It's like you can't help it but you're really suffering and not enjoying it

[dropkicknj13]

I know, I was just joking lol

[onetoomanybeau]

It’s a dominance thing. He can control your reactions and manipulate the situation. By exercising control he is showing his closeness with you. This is NOT a malicious thing (he’s not being abusive) except that you don’t enjoy it, which really means he needs to respect your boundaries.

[Asker]

I don't think he's doing it to be malicious, but I do wish he'd stop when I tell him to. It really does hurt :( Plus I'm a very self-controlled person and don't like when I'm spontaneous or look foolish lol