Call me shallow, but I said yes, social status matters. I am a relatively educated person. I have a college degree and that directly translates into the type of status I expect to be in. I am currently dating someone who may or may not have finished high school in Brasil. I acknowledge that there ARE some key intellectual differences that are hallmarkers of certain attainments of education. Can he debate with me over ideological principles? no. does he actively invite new sources of literature into his life? no. etc.
it's not about being "smarter" than another person, its about being "trained" to think a certain way and not being able to connect with people outside of that once you've committed to entertaining certain types of thought. I am with him because I am entertaining his type of thinking, the way he enjoys life I can enjoy. I also know that he would not enjoy the "mental work" that I do to relax because it would be stressful for him.
Is it possible to find an intellectual equal from someone of a different class? yes. but realistically I think most people would lose interest before hand and chalk it up to something else. We both know this relationship isn't forever and we don't try to blame each other for our class differences or expectations of life.
What would you say about a guy who went to flight school after high school and got himself a commercial pilot license and became a pilot? Would you say that is "higher in status" or average? Lower? (Not counting for the fact that pilots can earn as much as 250K a month depending on the country and company you fly for)
correction: 25K a month
@weirdoweirdo i mean it depends on the person. in some ways, the "higher status" you are, is giving up certain freedoms at the expense of receiving certain privileges (ie elbows off the table and other table manners to be accepted in a fancy restaurant). status is a joining of what one is "used to" but more, really what one is comfortable with , and what one can sustainably afford. So I suppose it would depend on the background of the person who went to flight school you know? does he come from a wealthy family so he's not really had to worry about things like how rent gets paid and the rising cost of groceries? But then most working class people aren't going to lament over which is a correct salad fork or properly tailored suit jackets for different occasions.
@weirdoweirdo Being a pilot used to be one of the most glamorous jobs you could mention, for a long period of time being a pilot was like being an astronaut, most astronauts were originally pilots.
However it's a different world now and aviation definitely isn't what it used to be. It's still good, very good, but not like it used to be. With that being said, if you're getting into aviation, what other people think will be the least of your worries. Learning to fly can be incredibly stressful and expensive. I completed my training through University and of the 100 that were in my course, we finished with about 15. Many people are drawn to the career because of the high life, the hotels, the restaurants, the travel etc etc but many fall short when it comes to what the job actually involves; fatigue, stress, continual learning and testing and high levels of responsibility.
I changed the relationship status in social media so everyone can know that I'm dating the most precious guy in the world 😍
That’s tough
It depends, because I'm kind of a hybrid. I come from a middle-class background, but my parents were poor financially, so I can identify with people who have very little, because that was me. At the same time, I grew up with morals and manners and high standards to live by, so I don't really consider myself "low-class." I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I try to stay out of trouble with the law. Also, I like to pronounce words correctly and not slur them together, and I don't have that much of an accent, either. In addition, I like to speak in complete sentences, use proper punctuation, and use correct spelling and grammar as much as possible, and I expect others who are communicating with me to do the same.
That’s not what I meant by social status, I’m talking about how many friends/associates you have.
Oh. Well, anyone can have any number of friends. It's how they treat them that matters.
I am unclear on your meaning about social status. What I value in a partner is a woman that can hold intelligent conversations, presents well, and that can go to formal dinners and dine with good table manners. This does not mean she has or needs to have money and it also does not mean she would be snobby, stuck up, or high maintenance.
As in how many people your significant other talks to, popularity etc.
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No, it is of little importance. It would only matter if the person had no drive or motivation to be “successful” in their own life.
exactly.
It 100% depends on how the guys were raised.
I know many people (guys and girls) from "elite" social status families, who are so coddled that they become narcissistic, socially inept twats because they never had to work hard for anything. 90% chance will cheat on future spouse because they feel entitled, and their spouse won't leave them because of that "elite" status.
On the other hand, I know people from "lower class" families who were raised well, and formed incredibly strong family bonds because they had to work hard to survive together. These people are loyal, considerate of others, hardowrking and down to earth,
There are also people from these same "lower class" families, but the family is dysfunctional. A parent walked out, drugs, booze, what have you. These poor souls will understandably come with a lot of emotional baggage; if they are insightful enough to address and overcome these issues, they can become like category 2 above. Otherwise, the emotional burden of all the pain they went through spills into their relationships.
To be honest, most of the people I loved were in Category 2. The "upper class" were just to self-absorbed and dull, in my opinion.
Yes and no. I don't care if she's popular, but I do care that she has friends. Also care the types of friends she tends to have. Like does she have real friendships or does she have pretend friends for this semester or worse. Girls that don't even like her, but they hang out so they can continue to hangout with a particular group of people they actually like. Are all of her friends students who are traveling in the summer or working to get ahead in life? Or are all of her friends drug dealers in states where you can't even legally sell marijuana lol. That changes things a bit for me. Her friends wouldn't stop me from dating her necessarily, but who her friends are and how they interact would begin to affect how I see her to some extent.
I'd imagine it would be similar for a girl if she met a guys friends and saw that he was bottom bitch with all his "friends" shitting on him. It would begin to affect how she sees the guy she is with. That's just a human thing. Like after awhile you're curious why people are acting a certain way with your partner. I've dated girls when introducing me to their friends they tried to hookup with me behind her back. That shit is real.
I care more about who she hangs around with since that can reflect on her personality/beliefs. For the whole shallow thing most guys and girls are shallow to an extent and that's good. Having low standards is bad, but having high standards can be good as well as long as it's not unrealistic or almost impossible. A guy blaming a girl being selective on who she wants for a potential partner and father of her future children is idiotic. Unless her standards require really unrealistic standards then I can understand someone giving her critism for it.
Yes indeed. If you don't fix up your act as a man your sugar mamma is gonna get sick of you and leave. It's tough dating a rich high class woman, especially if you're a broke piece of shit.
Women engage in hypergamy. Women tend to marry across and up dominance hierarchies while men tend to marry across and down.
The socio-economic status of a woman determines almost zero of her attractiveness towards a man whereas the socio-economic status of a man is a major determinant of his attractiveness towards a woman. Wealth is not the primary factor however, a man's productiveness is brought into question as well.
@Asad1ONE1 I'm speaking from personal experience from my culture. Maybe yours is different.
Well those are gender roles that either gender expects to have in the other. Physical attractiveness is independent of status to both men and women. Both actually value the same set of qualities in the other. Men are in a "leadership" position, and thus more is expected of us to take charge. That does not mean a man's looks matter any less to a women. Just that it does and more.
Well I like this type of questions, and I expect more women vote sincerely to it.
By now if you add yes and depends it looks that women its still a factor to 50% as while men its just 33%. Interesting data.
On my opinion traditional women still have it as a factor and is one of the things they have to change if they want to be equal, if you think about it, the reasons because of it depends are used to be social class and money.
Most men think about they giving it, so for us it isn't as important, but if women start to think about they giving it, I think this statistic would be more equal.
So come on, girls, you can be the one who gives social status to the relation.
Beautiful woman = admiration from your buddies = social status boost for you.
Yeah. Men do care about social status. But they don’t know how looks is linked to it
Uhmm so you think that the link is in beauty... I think that reasoning is too much for the typical male sexual thinking in biological mode. But we could try to see its just make another poll in which we ask assuming the girl loves you what do you prefer, a girl you find beautiful or a girl your friends find beautiful? I think that question would measure if biological thinking or social thinking has more weight, what do you think?
Then explain why beauty standards continue to change, and men often abide by these changes.
Skinny women were the epitome of beauty a few years back. Now, it’s “thicc” women that men love. Why’s this?
I would definitely ask that if men were really introspective about their choices. But they often don’t.
Whether a man finds a woman beautiful isn’t the question. The question is: do they care about her social status or what social benefits she may bring to him. The answer is yes. And since it isn’t expected that men admit this, then he’ll obviously have a hard time understanding that.
Why do you think men who have a fetish for fat women, often repress their sexual fantasies? Because his friends would make fun of him or would look down on him for having a fat girlfriend
It's in my opinion that it is easier when the social status of the person you're with is similar to your ow (though having a relationship in of itself equates with social status, so it really all depends on how you see it). Making a meaningful contribution to the relationship is more important to me personally.
I completely agree, I personally prefer someone introverted and quiet like myself.
I try to be as open as I can be. It ultimately depends on compatibility... I don't want to do too much too often.
Social status as a distinct attribute, no... but many of the things that affect social status do heavily matter: Intelligence, fitness, attractiveness, etc. My girlfriend was "just a waitress" and didn't have a huge social group, but she has qualities I find attractive and meets my standards.
No, only personal status. Social status is how a guy relates to the overall group, personal status is who he is and his level of development. I date guys who have a strong sense of themselves and who they are. Principles and morals are sexy to me along with a guy who has made himself something he's proud of.
No not at all. I’m from a wealthy family myself. I understand the not so fortunate may have those ideals but not us fortunate ones. That’s what makes the wealthy covetable, we have the time to introspect, because our ideals got us that far to begin with ;)
He needs to show some consistency. Keep a job, manage money well enough to keep a decent car etc... he doesn't need a bunch of money to get me. I don't have a bunch of money myself, so how critical and hypocritical for me to expect it.
If you mean social status like popularity idgaf about that either. I'm an introvert. So I keep to myself.
I had to search through comments to see what do you exactly mean by saying "social status"...
Yeah i do care.
Consider a super handsome, super nice guy whose friends are a bunch of misogynist losers. Will i date him? Hell no.
A really smart guy who says he is involved in some strange cult. Will i date him? No.
An average looking guy, with average intelligence whose friends are decent looking and kind heart, now what? He is 100 times better than those two.
I assume we use social status to read into the personality of the other. But the society is far less evolved than the human is, and therefore will give insufficient data. Also using social status can also be attractive in ways we have positive associations the we project onto the other, and therefor will rather see ones own idea about that person. So, it can be a generally good filter.. But can also miss some treasure for sure.
Well I’ll make the difference here and not try to make everyone like me by saying “no of course not” and “love only matters” and shit.
Yes status matters to me, I come from a very wealthy family, I grew up a very specific way and I want someone with similar expiriences.
I could never go for someone that doesn’t have travelled around the world, went to a private school or grew up in wealth in general.
Cause we simply wouldn’t understand each other, we wouldn’t match.
Not really, just that they're culturally refined and intelligent. Enjoy things like art and opera and classical music, and they know how to dress in a classy manner when the situation calls for it. I don't care about their "status" as long as those things are met.
I'd say. I don't know. If you mean like being popular or something? Then I don't give 2 fucks but like social status in being rich or poor or something? I really dont know.. Like it doesn't make much of an impact at my age because kids usually either dont work or work so they get money to buy what they without their parents nagging... Well some are spoiled and I only avoid them if they're like really annoying...
I mean usually it doesn't but I'm not gonna date a jobless crackhead. I also wouldn't want to date someone way out of my league, like a well known model of celebrity, because I'd feel so nervous about them cheating
I think most people who said no would agree in most cases this does matter but they don't want to seem shallow.
Don't get me wrong I don't want the girl that I'm dating to be a complete bum but she doesn't have to make a million dollars either when I'm with somebody I'm with them because of the connection the attraction and the way she treats me not what she has. I'm educated I have a really good job and I make really good money so I don't need her to give me anything financially what I need from her is what I can buy and that's love support and understanding
It influences ettiquette & behavior in social settings so yes, to an extent it certainly does matter because I don’t want to ever be ashamed of my partner because they don’t know how to act in a more formal or uptight environment.
Not at all. In fact, I'd prefer to date a girl who had a smaller social circle, as it would be easier to integrate into, and she'd likely be able to devote more time to our relationship.
In a way it does. I don't follow a public opinion of whatever a social status is but in my own understanding of it, I prefer some statuses over others; where both ''extremes'' aren't my 'target'.
Yeah if they are too popular or have too many friends it could be a problem. I prefer if they have a small circle of friends.
Yes but mostly for practical reasons rather than because I'm a snob. I don't get along long term with people who are overly high class or overly low class.
I'm so shallow when it comes to looks I will be with a homeless guy who eats off garbage if he's hot :S
By social status I'm assuming you men people being in the rich, upper crust elites- not for me.
No, I’m talking about popularity, etc.
That wouldn't matter to me either - I'm not looking for approval by others, just the two of us. :- )
Well, he doesn't necessarily need to be on top but I can't be with someone in the bottom for sure.
Nope, I couldn't care less. As long as they don't literally hate every single person, or on the other hand, care so much about what other people think (like on social media).
It matters to me yes, but not as much as the actions shared together and i mean working together.
It really depends on the person. Personally I could care less about social status.
Nah. I dont care how many friends he has as long as he has at least one friend
No it doesn't really matters much for me... I matters is her love for me 😍
Kind of. It matters in the sense that I want her to be socially savvy. It isn't a deal killer if she isn't though.
No ofc not as long as they are a good and kind person
I'm sorry, but what social status? Did you mean single/married or did you mean sexual orientation?
Huh? Social status as in who/how many people you talk to...
Then not really, no. I don't care who talks to who. All I care about is treating people well and getting the same treatment in return. Not everyone follows that philosophy.
It used to matter a lot but my friends moved away now so why should it matter anymore? It's about me not about how many friends I have
I'm a man so no lol. Men are only shallow when it comes to looks.
Uh... that’s not true. Beautiful women also gives the guy a social status boost. He’s interested in that too, but of course will never admit to it.
@latinabutterfly96 That's teenage shit.
If an adult male wants a status boost, he goes into public office where he has real power.
No because that’s harder work than getting a beautiful woman.
And no. It’s not teenage “shit”🤣
As long as you know what you two have together. Don’t anybody else have to know
No. Not really. Who they are as a person matters more than that.
Honestly yeah, not because of the money but because of behaviour and how they were raised
I have never even thought about once when approaching any girl or dating any girl.
For men no... I think women put more emphasis on it.
Not really, I care about a person's character. I couldn't date a girl that was plain mean to people.
Yes. It tells me the person has cared for her life and is an achiever.
As of the time the time of this posting, 26% of women are being honest.
Well how often do you hear guys saying they want rich girls?
@xEmmorixX she's right broke poor uneducated guys seek women with more money than then.
no, social status doesn't matter to me in a relationship
I believe we are both equally , No social status doesn't matter to me.
Sorry this has been difficult for me to answer i am little confused.
@curlybrookes Sorry i have a learning disability
There is no need to apologize, I’m sorry for getting a bit out of line. I hope your day goes on well.
How about you add in full detail and include what you mean by social status. We can't read your mind curly..
I don’t think it’s hard to answer, if you know what social status is then you should be able to explain/vote whether you agree or not. Since you don’t and I have to explain, then there was no need to comment on your behalf.
What does 'social status' mean to YOU?
Did you think you were some kind of celebrity or something?
What are you on about? No, I’m simply asking if popularity matters to other people in a relationship. This has nothing to do with me.
Some do. Some don't. So what.
If you're not asking about yourself then why are you asking? What exactly can you do with a variety of opinions on what matters to other people?
If you want to get something out of your questions, then frame them in a way that can provide something positive.
For example...
Do I have a shot at the football quarterback? Or, Do you think a cheerleader would date me?
Different things matter to different people. Some are caught up with how popular they are or others are, some don't care. Don't get too impressed with people - they're all pretty much the same - they all put their pants on the same way every day. ;)
I can ask a question that doesn’t revolve around myself. I’m just asking questions because it’s interesting to get other people’s POV. Stop nagging about it.
You don't get to make the rules, so quit nagging. It doesn't look good on you. BITE ME.
I give zero shits about social status. Lmfao
I have never even considered that.
Nope, it’s all about who they are
im not a woman, that never counts
It matter for women more than men.
so long as they have class and strong morals
I couldn't care less about social status
Not in the slightest
not to me but to women it means a lot
I'm not a girl, so no.
Funny you mentioned that because a guy called me lame today because he always catches me sitting alone. Can’t say it’s a girl thing, some guys are shallow these days.
Some guys may be like that, but I'm pretty sure there are more girls who would have a low view of a guy who did the same thing.
It's not a coincidence that ugly-looking guy millionaires can get more girls than I can count, but can you say the same thing about ugly female millionaires? I don't think so.
Not in the least
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