Intelligent guys and girls, do you strive to find an intelligent partner?

Question

Defining Intelligence as a combination of opinions, actions and the complicated or mundane topics we talk about. Is it hard for you to find someone who can keep up?

For men, Intelligence is not really necessary beyond not being stupid but you will not see even one girl wanting a fool. Of course, when it comes to girls, this trait only represents smarter than myself.

Personally, I've been disappointed with many handsome and not-so-handsome guys I've met in the past. Some of them were really academic smart but both them and me ended frustrated when I got competitive, which is something I like to a moderate degree (I learned very early in college that was not the way to go). To this day, very few handled that part of myself well and we parted ways for other reasons.

But really, one of the most annoying things in the world is meeting someone you are physically attracted to and realize you will not be a match due their intelligence not at least matching (let alone surpass) yours.

Have you experienced something similar?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think it's "sapiasexual'' a person whos attracted to intelligent people which is of course totally understandable.
I haven't had the displeasure of dating someone of self proclaimed great intelligence. I couldn't date someone who's competitive intellectually anymore than I could date that annoying know it all pretentious professor I had small talk with in college who lacked every attribute but misguided ego.
To be drinking coffee on a date playing a game of mind chess I'm not aware of and being possibly judged by every word I say in comfort... my God, kill me.
Intelligence is attractive, but ego isn't... I think a lot of High IQ people lose sight of that. I've been forced to sit at tables growing up with this ""demographic"" and it's like there's this this smugness in the air, it's almost toxic. There's a massive difference between being "academically smart" as you put it, and intelligence.
There's a saying, "The truly intelligent person is the one who pretends to be a fool in front of a fool who pretends to be intelligent."
I think maybe you would have better luck with a professor.

kevinb5555 · Accepted Answer

Yes is critical deal breaker of not of a similar intelligence. I don’t care about their career and how much they earn, but I to be able to hold conversation with them

KimKardashiansFeet · Accepted Answer

Yes, I want to find someone who I can discuss with and relate to through things like intelligence. Although its not a must so I have been crushing on guys who aren't and Im not competitive either so I can't say I've experienced anything like what youve described

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I’m choosing a career that will benefit my children and I in the future, and I want a like minded man. Looks fade, showing off gets old, but intelligence and good education is forever. 🙏🏻

Jaguar1818 · Accepted Answer

Yes it can be difficult, however I found an intelligent partner and we have the best conversations. We can talk for hours and not get tired of talking.

PossiblyInsane · Accepted Answer

Yeah, I do look for that, and it's pretty hard to find.

Logorithim · Answer

Large gaps in inteligence (and I would include emotional intelligence in this as well) lead to communication problems, so yes, I look for a partner of similar intelligence, which also increases the chances of finding one with similar interests, something that is important to me.

BeMuse · Answer

I talk about a lot of complex things in different areas with different friends. Each person is specialized in their own field and can keep up with me as well as introduce me to new ideas. I don’t expect any woman to be able to fill all those roles. It’s not a realistic want in a woman… If they are of above average intelligence that a big positive. If they have similar interests then that’s great. I guess so long as they don’t consistently frustrate me by being too dumb to deal with it can work. For long term relationships some intellectual stimulation is a need.

ArcticHamsters · Answer

I usually accept Howard Gardner's multiple intelligence theory, so I'd say it's always possible to explore someone's intelligence, even when it's not so evident at first. Anyway, I feel good when I'm around people who have developed mainly intrapersonal intelligence (self-awareness and introspection). Also, a good cognitive operation for associations and insights is a big turn on when I'm talking to someone, specially if it's used around subjects I'm interested in.

I don't usually find people in my country (Brazil) who really motivate me to have good/intelligent conversations. When I do, it's almost always through Internet.

Crocuta_Hyaenidae · Answer

I don't quite understand your definition of intelligence.

in·tel·li·gence

/inˈteləjəns/

noun

1.

the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills.

Character beats intelligence for me (in personal relations).

I know from experience that more intelligent doesn't mean more honest, more loyal, and certainly not more good-natured.

I used to use intelligence to screen who I let into my world, but I now think I was foolish.

I would rather be with someone whose intelligence is a distant second to mine, but who is a bright light in my life; as opposed to someone with a comparable or superior IQ to mine who sucks the life and light from the world like a black hole.

Northern_star · Answer

i have participated as a quant in a research lately, one of my friends write his phd on "gender wars" so i have relatively fresh data (of a set of 5000 participants, middle of Europe)

it seems women takes the man's intelligence into consideration, BUTTTT!! only if he can use that capability to earn better money. Whilst men tend to confuse intelligence of a woman with her morals, strictly intelligence of the partner (iq): doesn't matter AT ALL (1%>) nor nr of diplomas etc, but participants cared for "the capability to think responsible" high as fuck (96%<), whereas responsible thinking ended up meaning low body count and loyalty.

Anonymous · Answer

Hmm, in theory I don't care, in practice I've almost entirely dated fairly intelligent women, so maybe it's wishful thinking i'd be happy with someone not that bright.

I -do- care about her approach to things, I would find it really hard to be with someone who isn't intellectually curious and interested in learning things.

I'm quite aware of the fact that women seem to often want men who are as smart or smarter than they are. Bluntly, the reason I've mainly dated fairly smart women is that those women were filtering for smart men and I made it through their screen, where a not very bright women may have rejected me in favor of some dumb guy who had some other attribute I lack.

winterfox10 · Answer

I definitely have a hard time finding women who can keep up with me. I got lucky with my girlfriend though. I honestly don't believe that I will ever meet another woman as good as, or better, than she is. I mean that purely as a statement of fact and realism. She's smart and has a nice (but skinnier than I would prefer) body, and she gets me to the extent that she actually chased after me.

If another woman can top that... shit... I might just become Polygamist.

dantetheexplorer · Answer

Intelligent partners are great.
Intelligent partners who constantly have to remind their partners and the world on how intelligent they are and are quick to denigrate others who they perceive as having a lack of intelligence? Very Ugly People.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

No. Intelligence in women is usually a bad thing. Im a highly intelligent man and I prefer a woman who gets me out of my head and helps me enjoy the simple things. Im on genius level so simply being pretty damn smart well you might as well just be dumb still to me. I dont think I've met more than like 3 people in my life i could really talk intelligently with and tbh it wasn't something i need or even want in life.

passinby · Answer

Oh I don't care as long as she isn't too damn stupid since it will only be friends with benefits anyways. The most intelligent people I know and work with are all old and never been with the opposite sex.

Anonymous · Answer

Not exactly. I can understand people not being good at things or knowing things. There's plenty of things I'm not good at or don't know. It's when it's to the point where it's abrasive that it's an issue. Or when they aren't necessarily that stupid, but they get really assertive and aggressive with their nonsense they're spouting. Like, I don't see a problem with one or both of us being wrong about things as long as we're going to be chill. Being a dick about it, now that's a problem.

Anonymous · Answer

In my opinion she needs to be similar intelligence level or higher and use it, not have PhD and love low level carers job.

I've met few pretty faces, it did not lasted long as I have allergy to stupid people.

She could be not the pretties (of course it would be better), but must have brains and not be fat (did not met to many fat intelligent people any way)

OnlyYouKnowThat · Answer

Intelligent people tend to move in circles where they meet other people of similar intelligence so you generally don't need to strive too hard.

hellacray · Answer

Well I just want her to think for herself and be reasonable.

I don't really care if she has a fancy PhD or if all she has is a high school diploma.

Cause there's plenty of people that are dropouts and are highly successful.

BigRob420 · Answer

No. You're very picky. Tested over 160 I. Q. in the first grade and haven't met a man or woman in person who can keep up on a task with me to learn something new.

windknowsmyname · Answer

no, wise. be intelligent all day long be smart. i want a wise gal. wisdom is way better than intelligence, knowledge, smarts, and thoughtfulness.

Anonymous · Answer

I looked for someone that would be a good mother and someone that would put up with me and vice versa. I chose wisely... married over 30 years. She is wise about people but not the world or current events. She only has a HS degree.

abc3643 · Answer

Yes, very much so. For me, that is a necessary requirement.

9teen · Answer

Dúh. Why would I be with the stupid? To get annoyed? To lack intellectual debates?

CandaceG · Answer

Intelligence is certainly an attractive trait for me, being that I like to learn

Intelligent guys and girls, do you strive to find an intelligent partner?

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