Guys, do you pull the chair out for your date in the restaurant and ladies how do you feel if he didn't pull it out for you?

[Chikky]

[Wolframium]

No. She is not disabled, she can do it herself, besides, it's dehumanizing to do it. It implies you have to do it for her.
Listen. I really hate these things. Like…if you were born as a women, suddenly, you get these advantages? Why? You don't deserve it. You haven't done anything to get them. You just got lucky to born in some gender. And I, as male, should be your slave, because…again, no reason. No reason at all, it's just all arbitrary.
So, no. You can open doors, sit, take care of your clothes and so on. Just as I can. You can pay for yourself, just as I can. Equality. This is what you wanted anyway.
And I am glad to see this dying. Yeah, some girls might not be happy about it. Because they're at the receiving end. And some guys too. Because they think it will get them access inside her panties. And call it chivalry.

[Ultimate_Gohan]

Ur goddamn right

[truthbeknown]

MHO right here! Chicken dinner!

[coachTanthony]

The answer is YES and NO. If you are under 30 you might not have any idea what he is even doing behind your chair... if you are a guy you would probably feel super weird even trying to do it. If you are in your 40;s or over like myself I always do it and my date knows exactly what is going on each and every time. Generationally we are accustomed to different things... some of these things fade out or are not taught anymore. When it's prom night or homecoming and you are in a restaurant and see a bunch of teens having dinner before their big dance. .. you really don't see this happening even though the parents may have instructed the young man to do so.

[virginme]

Amazing 👏

[besticanexplain116]

Pff, I agree but at the same time; Feeling weird about pulling a chair out for a woman would be as bad as never opening the door for her.

Nah m8, I have hardcoded mannerisms and that's certainly one of them. It's only weird because everyone else has the capacity of an aroused gorilla.

[guccitaee230]

I wouldn't really care, but if he did I think I would be a bit uncomfortable cuz I'm not royalty or someone very important for him to do so. If that was the case, why don't girls pull out chair for guys too? It's just another gender stereotype

[Ankitasingh466]

My hubby pulled the chair and sat on it. Then he pointed out at his thighs and said "this is your chair".

[Cynicaldreamer]

I'm from the South, so it's still pretty common to see men do that for women, particularly pull their chairs out or hold a door open for you, though it's mostly out of manners and courtesy.

I don't really like a guy opening a car door for me when I can do it just fine myself (seriously in the time it takes him to walk over to my side of the car, I could have opened it and been out myself!)

[Muhammad1999]

Maybe because feminists haven't corrupted the south yet

[jennifer_bloom]

I have never had a guy do that for me and if he did I would be delighted - but would also be cautious - cause some guys act sweet to seduce girls they don't like enough to be with long term.

[yoshi_wanna_ask]

I don't expect him to pull the chair out but it definitely improves my impression of him a lot. Pushing it in isn't necessary because it's easier to choose a comfortable distance yourself.

But it's not about the chair or the door or the coat or anything like that, it's about the guy wanting to go out of his way to show care & respect, so much so that he looks for small opportunities, like the chair, to show that. That's why we like it so much. If it's just pomp for pomp sake it doesn't mean anything & you're better off not bothering. But if this is someone you've asked out because you really care for them & want to build a relationship together, go for it!

[GreyEyedZayah12]

It depends upon the individual guy and how he was raised.
There are generation gaps that
have differences of opinion.

As for me, of course I do for
my wife in public or formal
venues. But I also use my
discrepancy. Once held a
mall door open after my wife
and daughter entered because
I saw two elderly women coming.
They entered and said thank you
but two younger women following them were approaching. One entered and
said thanks, the other stopped
short of the door, folded her arms
and rudely said, "What, you don't
think a woman can get her own
door?" At first I was baffled but
these are the times we're in.

[yoshi_wanna_ask]

Yeah I don't get this 'hyper-feminism' mindset some have. It's like "it's nice, say thank you and move on with your life"

[GreyEyedZayah12]

Very much indeed.

[LauraS345]

It'd depend on the situation. It's good manners, yes, but it's also very formal. If we were dinning at a formal place, then, it wouldn't seem out of place. But if it was a fast food joint or even a coffee shop, it might make her feel embarrassed to have attention called to her unnecessarily. Maybe if the floor/chair was rather squeaky or if her skirt was long and kept catching on the legs of the chair? The point of manners is to make your partner feel more comfortable and cared for, not to show off that you've memorized an etiquette book from the 1800's, after all.

[ChiTown33]

Sometimes yes sometimes no. I'm not going to break my back to do it. And i'd guage it by the date. I mean on a date coming to my dates door i'll walk with her to the car and open the door. but when we arrive at the destination i'm not going to run around the car just so i can open her door. but i mean if she sits there then it's a sign she would like me to open the door and i do. And at a place of business i open the door for all women (and actually guys to) whenever i'm entering or leaving a place of business. it's just something called courtesy.

[-Aeon-]

I do, but not only for dates and partners. I am old-fashioned, so I pull out chairs for women in general. I also hold doors (including car doors) and offer to refill their glasses. Sometimes I also offer a hand or arm for support (stepping out of something, walking on slippery paths, and such).

[Anonymous]

Several years back, my mom and I went to visit her ex-husband. We went to a restaurant and I headed for a chair. He got to it first and pulled it out. I thought, "Okay, I can just sit in this other one." I didn't understand he meant for ME to sit in it, not him. So I kept moving around the table, with him trying to pull out the chair I was trying to sit in! My mom finally told me he was trying to be nice and pull it out! So that's how I found out that it was something polite to do!

But to answer the question: It's not a big deal if he doesn't pull it out. It's certainly nice, but it's not a deal breaker. He has to show his affection in other ways, too. As someone who has grown up pulling out chairs all her life, I can say I would definitely not die if he didn't pull the chair out for me. It's just a custom to do for ladies, and some people are into following society's rules, and some people aren't.

[yoshi_wanna_ask]

When this etiquette was originally established women often had high heels, bustles and hoop skirts so it could make a simple task, pretty difficult. Chivalry was actually pro-feminist because it was modern guys pausing their day to see a situation through a womans eyes.

Things like, getting through that heavy, iron door would be so much easier with all this dress if the guy in front used his extra muscle to keep it open a moment longer or man-handling the hoop dress, then pushing in the chair would be a lot easier with help. Basically those men put themselves in the position of a servant to show their respect, care & concern for women around them when they didn't have to.

But, having been raised with these as a normal thing it's jarring to hear that there are generations so far removed they don't even know about the it at all. Heh but that's way it goes of course

[MissKittyz]

I seriously wouldn't care tbh if a guy doesn't pull the chair for me. However, I'd be impressed if he does lol

my boyfriend does that all the time actually, pulls the chair out, also always opens the door for me like at a store or his car. True gentleman 😍

[hidden123]

Wait there are actually guys who still do that? I thought it was just a movie thing (and obviously in the past) I didn't think it was realistic to expect a guy to do that so I guess I would be kinda awkward and don't know how to react. But it would also be kinda nice and flattering.

[ANK360]

Chivalry ain't dead , i do it from doors to chair , and its so funny to see all those women around feeling jealous about it , tip - carry white, yellow, red flower with you inside your suit so first offer her white, then yellow and then finally red , ask her all the 3 , then remove another red ribbon from pocket tie them up with gorgeous written on it , and she's mine !

[MatinBrumeux]

If it's an actual date he pulls the chair out. If we are just grabbing lunch, no.
In most cases, I imagine its hard to pull a booth out for me XD
I like when he does it, but I'm not offended if he doesn't.

[BethanyK86]

For me it depends on the circumstances. If I'm dressed up and he's in a suit, he better pull the chair out. If he's in street clothes, I'm not going to really care that he doesn't pull the chair out for me.

[MusicMayhem]

Nope cause if you do that these days you look like a try hard loser who feels he needs to impress the girl rather than be himself to win her over.

[Oram52]

I doubt that maybe in America (which I still doubt) but here in UK its called being a gentleman.

[MusicMayhem]

@Oram52 it doesn't matter what country you're from it communicates to the girl that you don't feel you're good enough for her by being yourself and have to go out of your way to do nice things for her. Girls don't want someone being extra nice, they want a genuine guy being himself.

[Oram52]

It is being myself, how I was raised. And I am happy being a gentleman.

[truthbeknown]

@Oram52 Just wait you till you are with a woman who yells at you that she is a big girl and do it herself and doesn't need a man to do it for her!

[Oram52]

@truthbeknown I wouldn't date such a woman. I don't date feminists or feminists types anyway. Girls I've date appreciate chivalry. We need to find somebody who's compatible.

[elizalove]

Been with my man over two years and he still always pulls the chair for me, holds the door, and always ensures I get in the car before him. Even when we’re mad at each other lol it’s just genuine and I love that he’s such a gentleman. If he didn’t pull my chair out, I’d do it myself and not be bothered by it

[yoshi_wanna_ask]

Even when you're fighting? Have you had a chance to ask what he thinks/feels about it? I see you have a relaxed attitude about it but maybe he thinks he *has* to

[HomoFuge]

I am highly unobservant about these things. I wouldn't be bothered if he didn't pull the chair out for me but I would also find it endearing if he did do that.

[Cask23]

Pulling out a chair for a women is reinforcing the male patriarchy by showing that women are weaker than men and can not move their own chair.

You can not be pro-chair pulling out if your pro-equality of the sexes.

[/sarcasm]

[truthbeknown]

Sad, but this is how it is!

[yoshi_wanna_ask]

Oh, right in the sarcasm. The truth hurts.

[truthbeknown]

Sorry, can't do that anymore. It is sexest, demeaning to women and supporting the patriarchy which we all know women hate.

[920_M]

I wouldn't even think about it. Him not pulling out a chair for me isn't a big deal at all.

I would just pull my own chair out myself and sit.

[EmbraceThePain]

I mean, I might do it a few times, but I wouldn’t think too much on it as something I have to do. I’d just think we’d both sit down together at the same time once we reach our table.

[Felinegirl]

I don't expect him to do that, it might even feel a bit weird when he does. I'd probably feel flattered as well though

[fauchelevent]

I don't think that my partner's ever done that for me :P It's really not a big deal, I've never really thought about it.

[Ultimate_Gohan]

If she gets mad over me not holding doorsor pulling out chairs im better off without her

[unKN1GHTed]

I like to wait for her to start sitting down and THEN pull it out from (under) her.

[bill_towers]

Its Just a prank bro

[yoshi_wanna_ask]

Hahaha XD

[Iron_Man]

I Open the car door for her and the door leading to the restaurant but not the chair that's overdoing it a little bit too much. Sooner or later down the road I stopped doing all of the above

[Iron_Man]

Whoever the girl was that donvoted me I would like an explanation I won't get mad if I promise

[Under_Maps_OF_twigs]

I pull out the chair for all women who wear skirts shallow or judge me for e who deserves the chair pulled out for her and you do not.

By claiming I'm wrong means you want to dictate be the thinker and decider of my thoughts and actions.

[Under_Maps_OF_twigs]

All women who wear skirts or dresses but not wear pants. Call me shallow if you want. Sorry that my keyboard gets stuck at times.

[yoshi_wanna_ask]

You okay there? Did you or the computer have a stroke? It's okay if you don't want to pull out the chair, you want to date someone who's capable of basic functions. It's *meant* to be an 'extra mile' gesture, those who demand it are not the kind who deserve it.

[Under_Maps_OF_twigs]

@yoshi_wanna_ask
I pull out the chair for women who wear dresses and skirts, not women who emulate men by wearing pants.

[yoshi_wanna_ask]

Aww sweetie, you'll be in for an uncomfortable wake up calls soon if you hold onto that sinking ship. Ironically, I do get where you're coming from though. You want a simple, girly-girl type with a heart to serve. Now, while I hope that flows both ways, pants or not aren't the kind of thing that will help you find one.

Why women didn't wearing trousers for the longest time, goes back to about the Victorian era when they had no rights but we're bartered and traded as brides to the highest bidder to be their property. If a woman wanted a chance of getting a husband who was capable of providing for her, she had to look her most stunning, all the time, pulling all the stops even if she had nowhere to go.

Not long after this women gained the ability to hold certain property, money and even set up organisations in their name. These were freedoms for women thar had never been put into UK law before so naturally there were a few petty folk who took the chance to define what a lady was and what one wasn't. Most of these being men. Now, correct me if I'm wrong but I'm not sure if a guy is the best judge of that... unless there's something he's not telling us. But anyway, this included things like making it illegal for women to wear trousers. Not ill-advised, awkward or not recommended but punished by imprisonment. Trouser were never specifically for one gender, women were banned from wearing them. Even at the women wore underwear that was nearly identical to trousers anyway. Some of us need to wear trousers for health conditions or because of our jobs. I can't see women in construction wearing skirts or police work.

But even so, it's okay if you want to date someone who always wear skirts. Truly. But don't think just because she does, she's a lady or even the kind you're looking for. Some extremely pretentious women wear only dresses, ones that can make a man's life a living hell. There's way more to any woman than what she chooses to wear. Especially now that we can.

[Under_Maps_OF_twigs]

@yoshi_wanna_ask No need to worry. My last date slapped me for saying that.

[yoshi_wanna_ask]

I've grown up surrounded by guys so I know what your trying to say. I think part of the problem is women think a lot of things they'd never say or at least that they'd consider rude. If a woman was describing something next to a fat person she'd probably say "that larger lady" or "that hefty guy" instead of "that fatty over there". Everyone can see they are, in their mind they're thinking it but saying it is the rude bit. Whereas guys just tend to say what they're thinking, exactly what they mean.

Plus a lot of women crave is affection & support buut almost everywhere we look there's judgement, high beauty & social standards, catty friends and on top of that 'experts' and brands telling women "dress like this, act like this, think like this". So when she opens herself up to get to know a new guy, see if maybe they're similar, hoping he'll treat her with affection and he says "I only pull out chairs for women who only wear dresses/skirts" I can see how that could be their breaking point. If it helps, I'm very similar (not the same but similar) to the kind of girl you're looking for (I know the type) and I can tell you there's no way I'd date someone who meters out kindness & manners based on something so trivial.

There's a lot of harshness and rejection out in the world. Look after yourself but know you don't have to become part of the problem.

[Under_Maps_OF_twigs]

@yoshi_wanna_ask Since I do not want to be slapped, I will pull it out for pants wearing women too.

[yoshi_wanna_ask]

Well it's always good to avoid getting slapped but I think maybe she was upset about the idea behind it. That she wasn't worthy of having the chair pulled out, because she chose to wear pants. I don't think you probably meant it like that but I think your new idea will stop that & make any date have a good impression of you.

[Under_Maps_OF_twigs]

@yoshi_wanna_ask
I think you are right.

[yoshi_wanna_ask]

All the best! ;)

[Sevenpointfive]

i probably would. i think i have, but i like booths more than tables

[pabloofcourse]

It’s mandatory the man pulls out the chair and opens the door and allows the woman go first

[yoshi_wanna_ask]

Well, not mandatory, but it is nice. Like I said in my answer, if it's because the guy wants to show care for the girl & respect, okay, great but if it's because he feels he *has* to or she expects it of him, it's better letting her do it herself.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes i would pull the chair out for girl if i took her out for a date.

[FunkyMonkee]

Yeah, it's HILARIOUS when she falls on her fat ass! She deserved it.

[Anonymous]

I have done and would, but at the same time there's that nagging no, as the feminist within may get offended.

[yoshi_wanna_ask]

Do, do it, but maybe more so for a date or someone you know if you're worried. The hyper sensitive make things worse for all of us.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah I get what you mean, it's more suited for that sort of thing. Other than that all you have to do is brush it off if she gets mad etc, nothing to really worry about.

[peechiekeen]

It doesn't bother me if he didn't pull the chair out for me but if he did pull the chair out for me id be really flattered

[IamLisaSmith]

Most guys don't even know what this is at my age. I would rather them not anyways.

[Melshmallow046]

I wouldn't be bothered if he doesn't, but it will really improve my impression of him if he does.

[PrivateJim]

Yeah id definitely do that, just need a girl to take out on a date first, not having any luck so far

[Giggletr0n]

Nope, in fairness to equality she can use her own damn hands to do it

[AL1994ind]

I’d like it but then if he doesn’t do it I wouldn’t notice

[Amur8711]

I still will!

[AL1994ind]

Aww 😍

[Anonymous]

This ain't the 1950s bitch pull your own chair its 2019 feminism feminism feminism feminism feminism

[dontgofalling]

If I'm near the chair and it's close to the table sure, just to be nice tho, unless she wouldn't like it

[Anonymous]

If he didn't do that I honestly probably wouldn't even notice.

[BaruchObed]

Yeah, I am one of the only guys that pull the chair out for date in the restaurant.

[yoshi_wanna_ask]

Well considering she's your date that's probably a good thing

[bhavy24]

i usually do pull out the chair, i like to be chivalrous

[Anonymous]

Honestly I wouldn't care that much but it would feel good if he did.

[Anonymous]

I would notice if he did pull it out and be impressed, if he didn't I would not even think about it or care. But it gets him cool points if he does

[BronzedAdonis]

No I personally think that kind of behavior is obsequious and dated and not romantic

[DDpsy]

No. What do you take me for some of those misogynist pigs?

[OtakuNeko666]

I wouldn't care if he pulled the chair for me...

[Anonymous]

I’m genderfluid and I don’t if its because of that, but most of the time a guy opens the door or does any of the chivalry stuff I just feel awkward and like I should do it myself/he shouldn’t go through the trouble of doing it.

[ghostqueen]

I prefer it that way.

[Oram52]

Always and would continue to do so.

[bill_towers]

She got her own Hands

[hellacray]

It's a chair you can pull it out yourself.

[Lizalogan]

Personally it wouldn't bother me whatsoever

[LuWe22]

Nah. No need for this.

[Joshua561111]

If she's handicapped, Yes.

[Anonymous]

He better pull out that fucking chair

[Elizabeth00]

I had women do for me.

[pizzalovershouse]

no cuz last time I did that the waiter fell

[15Nightingale51]

How does that happen? 😂

[pizzalovershouse]

@15Nightingale51 cuz he was backing up an dint turn till hit the chair

[yoshi_wanna_ask]

Shoo and that'd be a confirmed second date with me too

[virginme]

It feels nice when im doing it. ☕☕

[UI_Vegeta01]

Don't you guys have arms? Pull the chair yourself.