Guys, do you pull the chair out for your date in the restaurant and ladies how do you feel if he didn't pull it out for you?

Guys, do you pull the chair out for your date in the restaurant and ladies how do you feel if he didn't pull it out for you?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • No. She is not disabled, she can do it herself, besides, it's dehumanizing to do it. It implies you have to do it for her.
    Listen. I really hate these things. Like…if you were born as a women, suddenly, you get these advantages? Why? You don't deserve it. You haven't done anything to get them. You just got lucky to born in some gender. And I, as male, should be your slave, because…again, no reason. No reason at all, it's just all arbitrary.
    So, no. You can open doors, sit, take care of your clothes and so on. Just as I can. You can pay for yourself, just as I can. Equality. This is what you wanted anyway.
    And I am glad to see this dying. Yeah, some girls might not be happy about it. Because they're at the receiving end. And some guys too. Because they think it will get them access inside her panties. And call it chivalry.

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  • The answer is YES and NO. If you are under 30 you might not have any idea what he is even doing behind your chair... if you are a guy you would probably feel super weird even trying to do it. If you are in your 40;s or over like myself I always do it and my date knows exactly what is going on each and every time. Generationally we are accustomed to different things... some of these things fade out or are not taught anymore. When it's prom night or homecoming and you are in a restaurant and see a bunch of teens having dinner before their big dance. .. you really don't see this happening even though the parents may have instructed the young man to do so.

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    • Amazing 👏

    • Pff, I agree but at the same time; Feeling weird about pulling a chair out for a woman would be as bad as never opening the door for her.

      Nah m8, I have hardcoded mannerisms and that's certainly one of them. It's only weird because everyone else has the capacity of an aroused gorilla.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I wouldn't really care, but if he did I think I would be a bit uncomfortable cuz I'm not royalty or someone very important for him to do so. If that was the case, why don't girls pull out chair for guys too? It's just another gender stereotype

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  • My hubby pulled the chair and sat on it. Then he pointed out at his thighs and said "this is your chair".

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I have never had a guy do that for me and if he did I would be delighted - but would also be cautious - cause some guys act sweet to seduce girls they don't like enough to be with long term.

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  • I do, but not only for dates and partners. I am old-fashioned, so I pull out chairs for women in general. I also hold doors (including car doors) and offer to refill their glasses. Sometimes I also offer a hand or arm for support (stepping out of something, walking on slippery paths, and such).

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  • I'm from the South, so it's still pretty common to see men do that for women, particularly pull their chairs out or hold a door open for you, though it's mostly out of manners and courtesy.

    I don't really like a guy opening a car door for me when I can do it just fine myself (seriously in the time it takes him to walk over to my side of the car, I could have opened it and been out myself!)

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  • I seriously wouldn't care tbh if a guy doesn't pull the chair for me. However, I'd be impressed if he does lol

    my boyfriend does that all the time actually, pulls the chair out, also always opens the door for me like at a store or his car. True gentleman 😍

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  • Wait there are actually guys who still do that? I thought it was just a movie thing (and obviously in the past) I didn't think it was realistic to expect a guy to do that so I guess I would be kinda awkward and don't know how to react. But it would also be kinda nice and flattering.

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  • For me it depends on the circumstances. If I'm dressed up and he's in a suit, he better pull the chair out. If he's in street clothes, I'm not going to really care that he doesn't pull the chair out for me.

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  • Pulling out a chair for a women is reinforcing the male patriarchy by showing that women are weaker than men and can not move their own chair.

    You can not be pro-chair pulling out if your pro-equality of the sexes.

    [/sarcasm]

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  • If it's an actual date he pulls the chair out. If we are just grabbing lunch, no.
    In most cases, I imagine its hard to pull a booth out for me XD
    I like when he does it, but I'm not offended if he doesn't.

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  • Chivalry ain't dead , i do it from doors to chair , and its so funny to see all those women around feeling jealous about it , tip - carry white, yellow, red flower with you inside your suit so first offer her white, then yellow and then finally red , ask her all the 3 , then remove another red ribbon from pocket tie them up with gorgeous written on it , and she's mine !

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  • I mean, I might do it a few times, but I wouldn’t think too much on it as something I have to do. I’d just think we’d both sit down together at the same time once we reach our table.

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  • I am highly unobservant about these things. I wouldn't be bothered if he didn't pull the chair out for me but I would also find it endearing if he did do that.

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  • Nope cause if you do that these days you look like a try hard loser who feels he needs to impress the girl rather than be himself to win her over.

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    • I doubt that maybe in America (which I still doubt) but here in UK its called being a gentleman.

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    • @Oram52 Just wait you till you are with a woman who yells at you that she is a big girl and do it herself and doesn't need a man to do it for her!

    • @truthbeknown I wouldn't date such a woman. I don't date feminists or feminists types anyway. Girls I've date appreciate chivalry. We need to find somebody who's compatible.

  • Sorry, can't do that anymore. It is sexest, demeaning to women and supporting the patriarchy which we all know women hate.

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  • Been with my man over two years and he still always pulls the chair for me, holds the door, and always ensures I get in the car before him. Even when we’re mad at each other lol it’s just genuine and I love that he’s such a gentleman. If he didn’t pull my chair out, I’d do it myself and not be bothered by it

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    • Even when you're fighting? Have you had a chance to ask what he thinks/feels about it? I see you have a relaxed attitude about it but maybe he thinks he *has* to

  • I don't expect him to do that, it might even feel a bit weird when he does. I'd probably feel flattered as well though

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  • I don't expect him to pull the chair out but it definitely improves my impression of him a lot. Pushing it in isn't necessary because it's easier to choose a comfortable distance yourself.

    But it's not about the chair or the door or the coat or anything like that, it's about the guy wanting to go out of his way to show care & respect, so much so that he looks for small opportunities, like the chair, to show that. That's why we like it so much. If it's just pomp for pomp sake it doesn't mean anything & you're better off not bothering. But if this is someone you've asked out because you really care for them & want to build a relationship together, go for it!

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  • I Open the car door for her and the door leading to the restaurant but not the chair that's overdoing it a little bit too much. Sooner or later down the road I stopped doing all of the above

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    • Whoever the girl was that donvoted me I would like an explanation I won't get mad if I promise

  • I pull out the chair for all women who wear skirts shallow or judge me for e who deserves the chair pulled out for her and you do not.

    By claiming I'm wrong means you want to dictate be the thinker and decider of my thoughts and actions.

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    • All women who wear skirts or dresses but not wear pants. Call me shallow if you want. Sorry that my keyboard gets stuck at times.

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    • All the best! ;)

  • It'd depend on the situation. It's good manners, yes, but it's also very formal. If we were dinning at a formal place, then, it wouldn't seem out of place. But if it was a fast food joint or even a coffee shop, it might make her feel embarrassed to have attention called to her unnecessarily. Maybe if the floor/chair was rather squeaky or if her skirt was long and kept catching on the legs of the chair? The point of manners is to make your partner feel more comfortable and cared for, not to show off that you've memorized an etiquette book from the 1800's, after all.

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  • I wouldn't even think about it. Him not pulling out a chair for me isn't a big deal at all.

    I would just pull my own chair out myself and sit.

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  • If she gets mad over me not holding doorsor pulling out chairs im better off without her

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  • I don't think that my partner's ever done that for me :P It's really not a big deal, I've never really thought about it.

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  • I wouldn't be bothered if he doesn't, but it will really improve my impression of him if he does.

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  • I like to wait for her to start sitting down and THEN pull it out from (under) her.

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  • Yeah, it's HILARIOUS when she falls on her fat ass! She deserved it.

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  • It depends upon the individual guy and how he was raised.
    There are generation gaps that
    have differences of opinion.

    As for me, of course I do for
    my wife in public or formal
    venues. But I also use my
    discrepancy. Once held a
    mall door open after my wife
    and daughter entered because
    I saw two elderly women coming.
    They entered and said thank you
    but two younger women following them were approaching. One entered and
    said thanks, the other stopped
    short of the door, folded her arms
    and rudely said, "What, you don't
    think a woman can get her own
    door?" At first I was baffled but
    these are the times we're in.

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  • i probably would. i think i have, but i like booths more than tables

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  • It doesn't bother me if he didn't pull the chair out for me but if he did pull the chair out for me id be really flattered

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  • Sometimes yes sometimes no. I'm not going to break my back to do it. And i'd guage it by the date. I mean on a date coming to my dates door i'll walk with her to the car and open the door. but when we arrive at the destination i'm not going to run around the car just so i can open her door. but i mean if she sits there then it's a sign she would like me to open the door and i do. And at a place of business i open the door for all women (and actually guys to) whenever i'm entering or leaving a place of business. it's just something called courtesy.

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  • Most guys don't even know what this is at my age. I would rather them not anyways.

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  • I’d like it but then if he doesn’t do it I wouldn’t notice

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  • If I'm near the chair and it's close to the table sure, just to be nice tho, unless she wouldn't like it

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  • No. What do you take me for some of those misogynist pigs?

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  • Yes i would pull the chair out for girl if i took her out for a date.

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  • It’s mandatory the man pulls out the chair and opens the door and allows the woman go first

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    • Well, not mandatory, but it is nice. Like I said in my answer, if it's because the guy wants to show care for the girl & respect, okay, great but if it's because he feels he *has* to or she expects it of him, it's better letting her do it herself.

  • No I personally think that kind of behavior is obsequious and dated and not romantic

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  • Yeah id definitely do that, just need a girl to take out on a date first, not having any luck so far

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  • Nope, in fairness to equality she can use her own damn hands to do it

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  • i usually do pull out the chair, i like to be chivalrous

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  • Yeah, I am one of the only guys that pull the chair out for date in the restaurant.

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  • I wouldn't care if he pulled the chair for me...

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  • If she's handicapped, Yes.

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  • Nah. No need for this.

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  • No, I never do that.

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  • She got arms.

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  • I prefer it that way.

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  • It feels nice when im doing it. ☕☕

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  • Personally it wouldn't bother me whatsoever

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  • Always and would continue to do so.

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  • She got her own Hands

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