If your ex started dating someone right after you all broke up... does that mean that person was there the whole time?

[coachTanthony]

YES

NO

Other (explain)

[GoodManDave]

It depends how we define "right" after.

To me, two weeks later is "right" after. In my opion, she may be rebounding. But it is enough time to meet someone new, and they happen to ask her out. It's not cheating, though if I don't know, I may wonder out loud about it.

If it is three days later, it's still possible that she JUST met the guy say that day, (or two days before) and happened to start dating. But unlikely. I think in most cases, she knew the guy beforehand. There MAY have been something there, but can't say if it was sexual or other kinds of cheating at that point unless she admits to something. Now, it didn't have to be cheating, if she meets a guy, or starts spending time with him WHILE we're in a relationship, and doesn't flirt, doesn't go on "dates" with the guy, but decides he seems more her type, or thinks it's a better fit all around... and decides to jump ship and break up and start dating him. Now to me, I think it's a bad choice, it LOOKS suspicious as hell, but it's not any of my business if I'm broken up with her.

I'd think it was a band aid, I'd think she's showing big psychological issues that will be a problem for her... but past that, I won't accuse her of cheating until I know what she was doing with the guy.

I think that a lot of celebs have this issue. Personally, if I was married to someone for 5 -10 years, I wouldn't be dating again and sleeping with someone and engaged or married after 3-4 months. Most likely wouldn't be engaged or married the same year I got divorced, though it depends on a few things. I know a lot of Hollywood couples do it, so it's getting popular in other places, but I just think it creates a lot of issues, or you're just kind of hopping from relationship to relationship as a mask or bandaid. I know a guy who jumps a lot; and he's working on his sixth marriage.

[Lance1965]

That is usually the case. My ex moved a guy in less than 24 hours after she booted me out. Obviously he was already there.

[coachTanthony]

Yes been there done that my friend.

[btbc92]

Like a lot of people have said and I can agree on, 9 out of 10 times yes they were there. Now were they involved with them in that way while also with you maybe, maybe not. You will not always know these things. The problem is is that usually they will always be somebody that who you're with is trying to pursue or see while they are with you. It is tough to say whether or not they've been sexually intimate with the other person or even been emotionally intimate with them. As you can't always particularly know these things ahead of time unless you really sensitive and particular about something like that. Also got a scenario where there are people that is of the opposite sex that you know that is going to be interested in who you're dating. And oftentimes is the so-called best friend that they knew for a while or for a long time parrot as much as you don't want to be paranoid about such things, the problem is is that if there was somebody that is sexually and physically attracted to your partner they are going to cause a lot of problems. It's even worse when the person you're with is also ignorant to the very things you try to warn them of. And if they know it for themselves and they do nothing about it then it just says a lot about the person you with. That's why I do not like the idea of dating strangers because now you don't know who they are, what they are about, and who they have in their life or that they encounter in their life that is going to post more problems on you and this person especially that person hasn't cut the cord.

[coachTanthony]

We were told as kids not to talk to strangers but strangers have everything we want in life.. NO? Without strangers we really wouldn't really know anybody, would we? So I agree they were probably there the entire time... but why is the real question. When did it actually happen? And most of all what contributed to the betrayal in the first place.

[btbc92]

Hence why we really shouldn't be talking to strangers if not to build a relationship with them where they are not strangers anymore. Sometimes it's not a matter of when, but it's a matter of how. Sometimes psychologically speaking, these late and desires have always been there. But they usually settle just anybody just because they are available in that moment. But they must precious Desires in their heart has always been the type of people they wanted the entire time, or they don't know how good they had it unless is revealed to them. As I said in the situation concerning friends oh, you always have that one person that is physically and sexually attracted to the person that you're dating. And because the other person is not taking me enough responsibility to confront this issue, it escalates into bigger problems. Is to not to say do not be with people who have strong friendships and bonds with the opposite sex. I'm not saying to be paranoid though a lot of people would assume so. It's simply the basis of what kind of relationship are you going to have with the other if it's always going to be somebody else that's the third wheel. You all have choices to make. And in situations like this, it is always people not being directly honest with themselves as well as each other.

[coachTanthony]

Everyone is a stranger until they are not. Any stranger can enter our life or our loved ones and reek hell if given the opportunity. I guess we all just need that 3rd eye to make sure that doesn't happen.

[btbc92]

What contributes to the Betrayal is dishonesty, and lack of consideration for the other person. I always tell people this, if you're going to be fickle you should not be dating. Don't even worry about yourself being single because you got to figure yourself out. I know because when I was extremely young as a child I will usually be fickle with certain things. I realized that my fickleness comes from not being directly honest with myself, besides having signs of emotional attachment issues. People that are normally considered shy oftentimes end up in this situation. But since people choose to be selfish, and pursue what they want without considering the consequences of the actions, they don't realize that it affects the people as well. There's always that one person is going to get hurt. They notice, but they don't understand how serious this really is. I always believe that it's best to think about the other person other than yourself. It is not weak to think of other people and put others first. But you got to have do right insight into knowing when to put others first, and when to put you first. Sadly you have to understand, that a lot of people are not willing to put others first when it's at the right time. In this situation, this is the time to think about other people besides yourself. But as you know they just don't do it, because they think they don't have to. You will not be able to understand this with strangers comes because strangers will leave you blindsided.

[btbc92]

Actually, they would not have to be in your life if you don't allow them to. That's one thing I learned as I got older, that I'm in control and who I choose to allow, and don't allow in my life. And not to have regrets, when you sense and know intuitively who is not right for you. Others May say that is wrong that you're not giving little person the chance. True, to some degree. However often times a lot of people knew prior that there was a lot of red flags the other person give off but they choose to ignore it all for the sake of love. And they don't realize how serious their grave mistakes are into is far too late. You cannot control what others in your life, and I include your loved ones to choose to do. You can only be in control of what choices you decide to make in your life. And that also includes who you allow to be in it and who you must cut off. Once I learn to trust my insights, intuition, and such things from God, I became more wiser in the choices that I make. And I also includes when dealing with people. Everybody cannot be in your life, especially when you cannot be responsible and taking care of them. And if they refuse to live by the same values and morals as you, why continue to allow them to wreak havoc in your life? At that point you only got yourself to blame. It's not going to be easy, but nothing in life is ever is. Everybody got choices. What matters is not what they decide to do, but what you decide to do in the meantime. Because at the end of the day, is your choices that's going to matter.

[coachTanthony]

You typed all that in 23 seconds? Geeez LOL

[btbc92]

Yeah, voice typing. ^^

[coachTanthony]

OMG.. that is cray! nicely done!

[btbc92]

Thank you, it requires a lot of practice with this phone. Once you memorize the functions, it gets a lot more easier. Except when you got to deal with unnecessary typos.

[coachTanthony]

Okay so I hear you loud and clear. Thanks for the prompt response! :+)

[btbc92]

You're very welcome. Have a nice evening.

[Lovethedove]

It’s a possibility no doubt.
But they say when a person breaks up with their partner they move on quicker because they have been considering it for a few months prior. So they’ve grieved the relationship & already taken mental steps away from them. So it’s also possible they were just already in the mental place to begin dating when the break up finally came

[coachTanthony]

Very good points!

[Cynicaldreamer]

Mhmm. No one moves on that fast and if they loved you, they would need some time to recover or get over you before dating again.

So yeah, that's a pretty strong flag they had someone on the side, or at least were interested in them the same time they were with you.

[coachTanthony]

I think so too!

[Apope16]

It doesn't mean they "cheated" on you. BUt it definitely means that person was thinking about being with someone else the whole time and not fully focused on the relationsip. I have been in that situation and for me it was done primarily out of fear. I was in so much pain about the fear of someone I loved dumping me that I set up a get away just in case so that I could at least run to someone to have sex in order to deal with the pain. Thank god I did because the pain of the breakup was something beyond my control. I needed a release. Also the sexual anger and frustration that comes when you know a relationship is about to end. You are most horny for sex when you are desperate to preserve what is lost or about to be lost.

[Chikky]

It means you never appreciated the love she showed you until another person shows up.

Guys sees what you're seeing, they are just looking for the right time to opt in

[Logorithim]

That is the likely explanation, or they were kept waiting in the wings.

[young_old_soul]

Depends. Some people immediately after a breakup look for a rebound, typically with somebody they don't already know. In that case, no. But if they already were talking to that person and they broke up with you, well, it's a very strong possibility. Sure, the other person could have swooped in once they knew your ex was single, but your initial suspicion is right more often than you think. Especially if your ex seemed distant and was very calm while breaking up with you.

[coachTanthony]

That is the key.. was she distant in the end? Good points!

[HitGirl_007]

It really depends.

Some people move on quick as a way to get over that ex it’s a coping thing. Some people like to put things out of their head and not over think over dwell.

You can’t box everyone into the same category. And it doesn’t necessarily mean the ex didn’t mean anything, it may just mean that it’s their way of getting over that ex, distracting themselves from that ex, or moving on that quick could just be a booty call not a real relationship

[Marrry]

It means that she at least talked to him before you two broke up. At the best case they talked had mutual attraction and she decided to leave you for him. At the worst case they dated while she dated you so she dated both guys at the same time.

[coachTanthony]

Yikes!!! Thats not good.

[Marrry]

I am sorry 😔

[confusednbored]

It depends. We can get anyone easily nowadays as long as you really desire a relationship right after breaking up with the previous one. The relationship quality is more important than how fast they are together after their ex. It’s likely a yes to your question

[DizzyDesii]

Yes and this is why i refuse to go check his FB status again because he told me he wouldn't change his relationship status anytime soon but he changed it to single a week after our big argument and if i ever went to check and it said IN A RELATIONSHIP.. I'd fly to ohio to beat his azz 🤷 so its best no one shows me his fb

[coachTanthony]

LOL Ohio? what part of Ohio we talking about here?

[DizzyDesii]

Tip top near Canada lol

[coachTanthony]

Gotcha.. I am at the tip bottom near KY!

[musicloverr8]

Maybe they were on the sidelines as a back up option doesn't necessarily mean they were cheating or they liked them the whole time.

[coachTanthony]

Think. What is more likely?

[musicloverr8]

Personally I am not a cheater so I can't really fathom cheating. The most I would say the person to me would be a crush, if I were with someone and broke up and then got with that person.

[coachTanthony]

cool.. thanks!

[JohnHudson]

That's what's interesting about cheating. Most people can't fathom it until it happens. It's one of those things that you don't realize exactly what's happening until it does. Don't take me for someone who defends cheating; as someone who's been cheated on I can empathize with how gross it is. But about a fourth of all marriages have some kind of infidelity component, and one would expect that that number is higher in less-committed relationships. It's certainly thin ice. Anyways, yes, chances are that person has been there for a while. But not necessarily in the way you think. It's often the case that the person was a friend who wanted to be more, and in pursuit of that end offered a shoulder to cry on. It's more effective than you might think, at least in terms of rebounds.

[Anonymous]

Of course, in my personal experiences it's always come across as pre planned. A woman will usually have her next guy lined up or knowledge of who she is going to have lined up next.

[puck17]

If it is actually right after the break up... like within just a couple weeks, then it’s probably a safe bet that the new person was in the picture somehow before your breakup. People don’t usually jump from one relationship into the next so quickly unless they’ve already gotten to know each other and developed feelings for each other.

[NineBreaker]

Not necessarily, but it is possible. Could be a person who asked her out, but she rejected him because she's with me. If anything, I appreciate a breakup over being cheated on.

[TheAceholeSupreme666]

If only things were that easy...

[ChiTown33]

Did you break up withem or they with you?
If they broke up with you I'd say odds are it's very likely. But some people jump into relationships with ease, especially women since there' almost always some guy looking/waiting to pick up where you left off. Lol

[TheAceholeSupreme666]

Yes and No. Not necessarily the whole time, but certain for sometime prior to the break up... that person had another partner lined up on the side, and waited until it was safe to jump, or they just vanish like a fart in the wind!

[ChiPaPa]

It's possible. It's also possible that they just met. Things do happen.

[coachTanthony]

very true... anything is possible but is it likely?

[ChiPaPa]

Unlikely, but still in the realm of possibilities. From an outsider's standpoint, it always seems to be the person that they tell their partner not to worry about.

[Paris13]

Online or Offline, No one ever Knows how it Goes. xx

[Paris13]

*I personally still have an Ex from 4 years ago calling my cell but I don't Reply so I know this Man is Not Into Anyone else but Trying to Get Me back. lolxx

[Desconhecida]

It happened to me..
And YES.

[coachTanthony]

Sorry to hear that!

[Desconhecida]

Not as sorry as my ex was when I found out... my pain was properly returned.👿

[coachTanthony]

OUCH! Well good for you! I guess !

[Desconhecida]

Thanks...

It was just a tiny kick around the groin area... nothing too fancy. What can say?

(A girl's gotta vent somehow!)😊😊

[richglos]

Some people don't like being on their own so it's their way of dealing with things. Me personally if they can move on real quick than they didn't have the feelings that u thought they did

[TheGrapeSurgeon]

Said no because I thought the question was asking if your “ex” was with you the whole time or was she just using you as a placeholder. MY ANSWER IS YES