Would you ever date someone who is depressed, but is actively trying to get better?
Would you ever date someone who is depressed?
Would you ever date someone who is depressed?
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I've been diagnosed with major depression multiple times and the number one cause is loneliness. It's honestly a horrible cycle.
Depression tends to isolate you, especially as a man. Women rely on men to follow through on their advances. I notice the advances, sometimes they are blatantly obvious, though I can't follow through. I lack the self-confidence and will power to seal the deal. I tell myself there is no way a woman would ever want to be with me. I'm nothing but a dead beat, unable to provide. If she knew the real me she would have no interest at all. Loneliness and dread kicks in, on goes the endless cycle of depression.
I've been single for the majority of my life and it looks like it's going to stay that way. I often dream about being in a loving relationship. However, reality always kicks in. My mind has created an inescapable loop of loneliness and depression. I like to think there is a woman out there that might break the cycle but I fear I'm too far off. I've been alone for so long I may not be capable of maintaining a stable relationship.
Anyway, I would like to say this topic is awfully depressing for someone who is legitimately depressed and lonely. Many here attribute symptoms of other mental illnesses to depression. My opinion, if he isn't bedridden or collecting disability, give him a shot. Women date narcissists and psychopaths all the time!
8
4 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I completely agree with you! As someone who suffers from depression it's hard to see that people won't give me a chance because sometimes Im not In a great mood or I need some extra support or love. I would like to say that I really don't think you are a dead beat at all! I genuinely believe sharing your feelings the way you have makes you more of a man. I really appreciate your opinion and I hope that one day a women will help you conquer your depression, but until then please stay strong!
This guy right here hit the nail right on the head. I can speak for myself and many guys who deal with depression that this is one of the biggest factors.
yeah I haven't been diagnosed for major depression but ADHD brings it's own form. but I have been with depressed chicks and it was not that bad at all.
I would actively try to help them and that might lead to dating. Or if I started dating someone and I found out they suffered from depression I would do what I can to help them. I would only break up with a depressed person if I was the one that caused the depression.
2
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Married to one, we are complete opposites in the way that he has chronic depression so for 3 days he would feel down then 4 he would be okay. I am always happy and always positive. If you’re patient enough and caring enough to help them when they are down then it works fine. He jokes all the time and says I’m his wife his best friend and his psychologist 😂.
I'd say I used to be a bit that way when my brother killed himself. when one day i made myself so known as a former dj and met some wicked dj, s and got Involed up Devon and cornwall playing dance tunes and boat party's. Till one day I'm walking home with me little 7 year old boy. And his mum left us both, after cheating on us. And two years later shorty my mum just died
Yes, I would. Every relationship has their ups and downs, good and bad times and I'd still be with them. I want to be able to support them the best I can and help them as best as I can (and also having a support system round me too).
If you truly love someone, you'll love them flaws and all. You do your best to be there for them especially on their lowest points of their life as long as they also acknowledge your presence and efforts to keep them afloat. It's a two way street so just because they're going through some self issues, they'll have to be ready to be in a relationship first to be with you or anyone or else it's going to be fruitless.
4
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
It's different if we were already in a relationship and they developed depression, but dating for a first time, no. Depression can effect a lot of a person's life and part of being in a relationship is giving a part of you to that other person----your time, your love, your care. If they don't have self care and self-love at the moment and are walking in darkness, and are needing to work through some issues, a relationship is difficult. You as the not depressed person don't want to be selfish for wanting to be with, hang out with, love on them and they are hurting or need space/time, but it's also not actually selfish to really want those things for yourself that the other person may not be able to give you. I'd rather they work on themselves first and healing and coping and especially learn that they can do this on their own and not rely on me for their total happiness or as a crutch so we could be in a healthy relationship.
I have, I will, and there is nothing wrong with them! 'Depression' is interpreted, and some say a person needs medication, and a psychiatrist, maybe? I think that most just need someone that likes them, and they like, and maybe, he makes them laugh!! I have dated too many, that said they were 'depressed' and some were even on medication!! How messed up, is that, that so many, are? I never intended, but maybe my 'calling' is to make her smile, and happy, and not need the medication, being perfectly fine, and NORMAL, but just needing someone to care, and love, and make her smile!!
Its risky and can be hard work. I'm the depressed person and i have realised that being this way actually causes me to end up with people that take advantage of my inability to think consistently. I attract someone when im strong but then as they dig they hear my weakness and they turn that against me. I want to say that its easy dating me but its not, im always analysing and oberthinking things, if you're kind im suspicious, and in my experience im yet to meet someone that's genuine. So to anyone that is dating someone that has depression you require mental resilience genuine kind and gentle heart.
No. 1) I don't think it's fair to enter into a relationship with someone else when you have serious issues which can dampen the relationship or push you further into despair. Relationships can be stressful and I don't see how that is beneficial to a depressed person. If they are depressed because they can't find someone and end up finding someone, their negative thoughts can return in a myriad of other forms.
2) This is a selfish reason. I'm a generally happy carefree person who laughs and smiles often and genuinely. A depressed individual would likely affect me negatively because I would be worried about them and couldn't possible be happy around a suffering person. It would drag me down as well, no matter how optimistic I keep myself.
Sorry but no. There are plenty of women who would be willing though.
1
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Depends on how they handle it. You can suffer from depression but actively treat it through medication, therapy and activating yourself to the best of your abilities. I've dated men with mental health issues before but the majority does not treat their problems correctly. One of them quit his meds due to "not feeling like taking them anymore" and it quickly changed his entire personality to be rude, bitter and careless. I also have a father who suffers from depression who refuses to take responsibility for anything and always blames the world for his own mistakes and does nothing to better things, then complains about how things turn out. Because of these experiences I would avoid dating a depressed person. I could be friends with one though.
1
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
My boyfriend was in a not so great place mentally for over 10 years, mostly due to low self esteem and the realization that he hasn't done much in his life and isn't a normal 30yr old as he lives with his family and is unemployed. Since I met him he's become tremendously better and now takes little medication. In this situation all it took for him was having a significant other (me) to motivate him and change his outlook on life.
I actually didn't know my boyfriend was depressed until he told me about his past about a month into the relationship. But I think if you believe you have it in you to build up a person that is depressed and you love them very much, yes.
On the other hand, some people aren't so comfortable dealing with a significant other with depression as it can be exhausting and feel like a massive responsibility. Everyone has a different view I guess.
Yes. Depressed people need love and happiness in their lives. I know what it’s like to be depressed and how to help cope with it. Depression is a tricky thing and if you have one person you feel close to, can open up to, feel joy with, and feel affection with, it really helps this person overcome it. Most people who have depression feel super lonely but if they know they have someone who loves them they’ll soon get better.
Yes and I am. I have a lot of compassion for people that are depressed because I too have struggled with depression on and off through life. I know what it's like to feel like you've been treading water but your body and mind are so tired and don't know how much longer you can keep your head above water. It's not your fault but you need to make a plan to take steps to change it. As long as we both work at it we can live a good life together.
3
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I dated a girl when I was 19 and I was depressed. She was so selfish. When she calls me she expects me to make her happy and be romantic. When I say anything about depression she tells me to shut up and suck it up and never talk about it again. On the other hand she tells me she loves me and forced me to say that I love her back. That relationship was damaging. I think if someone is depressed they need to get their life and mental health together before getting in a relationship with someone. Because no one will care enough to help you. They will just cause more damage.
Yeah. I would date a depressed girl. It's not like it's gonna be that way forever or even a very long time right. But in the reverse, a guy almost always has to be "happy" in order to get a girl unless perhaps he's super successful. So to me it feels like it's just a one way street.
1
2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I see your point and I get the idea that men have to act happy to be in with a chance of a girlfriend. However I as a female have been told this too, I've been told that I'm to emotional or that I need to be happy because being sad doesn't attract men.
Yeah ikr. It's like generally, just because of the way relationships tend to go especially in a, let's say "happy productive" society, it's a general rule for everyone to basically be a pop tart.
I had a very bad case of depression when I met my girlfriend, I managed to hide it for a while until she found my pills on the floor, she was very understanding and helped me a lot, yes it can be stressful to the other half, feeling helpless when I was down or had a panic attack and at that stage I was having like 2 a day, in the end we are still together and I am now a lot better than I was and I love her for helping me, if I was in a new relationship and found out that she had depression I would love to help as I know it is something that heeds help and support,
Well i am depressed so duh. But honestly it's not hard to date most people with depression so anyone who has doubts shouldn't really.
There is a difference with people who have depression to people who are suicidal. Normally the suicidal ones who are hard to have realtionships with and build a future with and them been suicide risks.
Yes I have many times. When they are not depressed it's just like dating anyone else but when they get depressed it can really start to make you depressed as well or they shut down and want to be alone and it can be really hard to live with if it happens to frequently.
I was about to say no but if they're trying to get better than yes. The main reason for a no was because often times people don't wanna change even when you give them every reason to be happy and it can be burdensome trying to make someone happy only to feel like you can't do it
Of course. Health issues aren’t a concern for me as long as he’s taking care of them and seeking treatment. I was married for 20 years with him 24 , he became diabetic about three years after our marriage and he made no effort to treat his diabetes other than switching to diet pop. I resent him for that to this day. A wasted life to lose a leg, almost his Eyesite, and your life at 52 because of diabetes
As long as they are receiving some form of treatment whether Spiritual or Mental Health and I don't mean just medication. Meds are just a band-aid tobgive you a boost to start the real work need to heal from Depression or Mental Illness, counseling is key such as CBT, EMDR, or just Talk Therapy.
Yes I would because even if I’ve never been depressed I still wouldn’t care if they were (meaning I wouldn’t let it effect whether I like them or fall in love with them) Bc if they were depressed then I’d try to help them and whether it leads to dating or I date them and find out it’d make me feel closer to them bc I helped them through there time. Let me say if you don’t date someone just because there depressed or find out they are, then you shouldn’t date anyone bc there problems shouldn’t and wouldn’t be an inconvenience for you!!! Be real men and women
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