I've been diagnosed with major depression multiple times and the number one cause is loneliness. It's honestly a horrible cycle.Depression tends to isolate you, especially as a man. Women rely on men to follow through on their advances. I notice the advances, sometimes they are blatantly obvious, though I can't follow through. I lack the self-confidence and will power to seal the deal. I tell myself there is no way a woman would ever want to be with me. I'm nothing but a dead beat, unable to provide. If she knew the real me she would have no interest at all. Loneliness and dread kicks in, on goes the endless cycle of depression.I've been single for the majority of my life and it looks like it's going to stay that way. I often dream about being in a loving relationship. However, reality always kicks in. My mind has created an inescapable loop of loneliness and depression. I like to think there is a woman out there that might break the cycle but I fear I'm too far off. I've been alone for so long I may not be capable of maintaining a stable relationship.Anyway, I would like to say this topic is awfully depressing for someone who is legitimately depressed and lonely. Many here attribute symptoms of other mental illnesses to depression. My opinion, if he isn't bedridden or collecting disability, give him a shot. Women date narcissists and psychopaths all the time!
I completely agree with you! As someone who suffers from depression it's hard to see that people won't give me a chance because sometimes Im not In a great mood or I need some extra support or love. I would like to say that I really don't think you are a dead beat at all! I genuinely believe sharing your feelings the way you have makes you more of a man. I really appreciate your opinion and I hope that one day a women will help you conquer your depression, but until then please stay strong!
This guy right here hit the nail right on the head. I can speak for myself and many guys who deal with depression that this is one of the biggest factors.
yeah I haven't been diagnosed for major depression but ADHD brings it's own form. but I have been with depressed chicks and it was not that bad at all.
I agree except collecting disability doesn’t exempt someone from being a good partner.
I would actively try to help them and that might lead to dating. Or if I started dating someone and I found out they suffered from depression I would do what I can to help them. I would only break up with a depressed person if I was the one that caused the depression.
Married to one, we are complete opposites in the way that he has chronic depression so for 3 days he would feel down then 4 he would be okay. I am always happy and always positive. If you’re patient enough and caring enough to help them when they are down then it works fine. He jokes all the time and says I’m his wife his best friend and his psychologist 😂.
Awww 😂 this is super sweet!
Thank you 🥰
I'd say I used to be a bit that way when my brother killed himself.when one day i made myself so known as a former dj and met some wicked dj, s and got Involed up Devon and cornwall playing dance tunes and boat party's. Till one day I'm walking home with me little 7 year old boy. And his mum left us both, after cheating on us. And two years later shorty my mum just died
Yes, I would. Every relationship has their ups and downs, good and bad times and I'd still be with them. I want to be able to support them the best I can and help them as best as I can (and also having a support system round me too).
Thats so sweet❤️
Have an opinion?
If you truly love someone, you'll love them flaws and all. You do your best to be there for them especially on their lowest points of their life as long as they also acknowledge your presence and efforts to keep them afloat. It's a two way street so just because they're going through some self issues, they'll have to be ready to be in a relationship first to be with you or anyone or else it's going to be fruitless.
It's different if we were already in a relationship and they developed depression, but dating for a first time, no. Depression can effect a lot of a person's life and part of being in a relationship is giving a part of you to that other person----your time, your love, your care. If they don't have self care and self-love at the moment and are walking in darkness, and are needing to work through some issues, a relationship is difficult. You as the not depressed person don't want to be selfish for wanting to be with, hang out with, love on them and they are hurting or need space/time, but it's also not actually selfish to really want those things for yourself that the other person may not be able to give you. I'd rather they work on themselves first and healing and coping and especially learn that they can do this on their own and not rely on me for their total happiness or as a crutch so we could be in a healthy relationship.
This is such a great answer, thank you
I have, I will, and there is nothing wrong with them! 'Depression' is interpreted, and some say a person needs medication, and a psychiatrist, maybe?I think that most just need someone that likes them, and they like, and maybe, he makes them laugh!!I have dated too many, that said they were 'depressed' and some were even on medication!! How messed up, is that, that so many, are?I never intended, but maybe my 'calling' is to make her smile, and happy, and not need the medication, being perfectly fine, and NORMAL, but just needing someone to care, and love, and make her smile!!
No. 1) I don't think it's fair to enter into a relationship with someone else when you have serious issues which can dampen the relationship or push you further into despair. Relationships can be stressful and I don't see how that is beneficial to a depressed person. If they are depressed because they can't find someone and end up finding someone, their negative thoughts can return in a myriad of other forms.2) This is a selfish reason. I'm a generally happy carefree person who laughs and smiles often and genuinely. A depressed individual would likely affect me negatively because I would be worried about them and couldn't possible be happy around a suffering person. It would drag me down as well, no matter how optimistic I keep myself. Sorry but no. There are plenty of women who would be willing though.
Its risky and can be hard work. I'm the depressed person and i have realised that being this way actually causes me to end up with people that take advantage of my inability to think consistently. I attract someone when im strong but then as they dig they hear my weakness and they turn that against me. I want to say that its easy dating me but its not, im always analysing and oberthinking things, if you're kind im suspicious, and in my experience im yet to meet someone that's genuine. So to anyone that is dating someone that has depression you require mental resilience genuine kind and gentle heart.
Depends on how they handle it. You can suffer from depression but actively treat it through medication, therapy and activating yourself to the best of your abilities. I've dated men with mental health issues before but the majority does not treat their problems correctly. One of them quit his meds due to "not feeling like taking them anymore" and it quickly changed his entire personality to be rude, bitter and careless. I also have a father who suffers from depression who refuses to take responsibility for anything and always blames the world for his own mistakes and does nothing to better things, then complains about how things turn out. Because of these experiences I would avoid dating a depressed person. I could be friends with one though.
Yeah. I would date a depressed girl. It's not like it's gonna be that way forever or even a very long time right. But in the reverse, a guy almost always has to be "happy" in order to get a girl unless perhaps he's super successful. So to me it feels like it's just a one way street.
I see your point and I get the idea that men have to act happy to be in with a chance of a girlfriend. However I as a female have been told this too, I've been told that I'm to emotional or that I need to be happy because being sad doesn't attract men.
Yeah ikr. It's like generally, just because of the way relationships tend to go especially in a, let's say "happy productive" society, it's a general rule for everyone to basically be a pop tart.
I had a very bad case of depression when I met my girlfriend, I managed to hide it for a while until she found my pills on the floor, she was very understanding and helped me a lot, yes it can be stressful to the other half, feeling helpless when I was down or had a panic attack and at that stage I was having like 2 a day, in the end we are still together and I am now a lot better than I was and I love her for helping me, if I was in a new relationship and found out that she had depression I would love to help as I know it is something that heeds help and support,
I dated a girl when I was 19 and I was depressed. She was so selfish. When she calls me she expects me to make her happy and be romantic. When I say anything about depression she tells me to shut up and suck it up and never talk about it again. On the other hand she tells me she loves me and forced me to say that I love her back. That relationship was damaging. I think if someone is depressed they need to get their life and mental health together before getting in a relationship with someone. Because no one will care enough to help you. They will just cause more damage.
I was about to say no but if they're trying to get better than yes. The main reason for a no was because often times people don't wanna change even when you give them every reason to be happy and it can be burdensome trying to make someone happy only to feel like you can't do it
It's literally 2019. Anybody who's not depressed is fucking retarded.
I think this is my favourite opinion 😂😂
this made me laugh
That reminds me of a bumper sticker that said, "If you're not pissed off, you're probably not paying attention".
Yes I would because even if I’ve never been depressed I still wouldn’t care if they were (meaning I wouldn’t let it effect whether I like them or fall in love with them) Bc if they were depressed then I’d try to help them and whether it leads to dating or I date them and find out it’d make me feel closer to them bc I helped them through there time. Let me say if you don’t date someone just because there depressed or find out they are, then you shouldn’t date anyone bc there problems shouldn’t and wouldn’t be an inconvenience for you!!! Be real men and women
Yes and I am. I have a lot of compassion for people that are depressed because I too have struggled with depression on and off through life. I know what it's like to feel like you've been treading water but your body and mind are so tired and don't know how much longer you can keep your head above water. It's not your fault but you need to make a plan to take steps to change it. As long as we both work at it we can live a good life together.
If said person was actively seeking ways to overcome their depression then yes. In my experience there are three types of depressed people.The one who truly wants to overcome it.The one who would rather sit and drown in their depression. Too lazy or lacks the self motivation to fight.The one who enjoys the attention they receive from being perceived as helpless or in need.I would only date the fighter. The other two are too draining.
Yes. Depressed people need love and happiness in their lives. I know what it’s like to be depressed and how to help cope with it. Depression is a tricky thing and if you have one person you feel close to, can open up to, feel joy with, and feel affection with, it really helps this person overcome it. Most people who have depression feel super lonely but if they know they have someone who loves them they’ll soon get better.
Well said girl
As long as they are receiving some form of treatment whether Spiritual or Mental Health and I don't mean just medication. Meds are just a band-aid tobgive you a boost to start the real work need to heal from Depression or Mental Illness, counseling is key such as CBT, EMDR, or just Talk Therapy.
I might. It depends on whether they're trying to get better or not. If They are, then I would give them a chance. But I've been told that before by someone who was depressed, and they turned out to be abusive. So I would probably just be friends first
Of course. Health issues aren’t a concern for me as long as he’s taking care of them and seeking treatment. I was married for 20 years with him 24 , he became diabetic about three years after our marriage and he made no effort to treat his diabetes other than switching to diet pop. I resent him for that to this day. A wasted life to lose a leg, almost his Eyesite, and your life at 52 because of diabetes
Well i am depressed so duh. But honestly it's not hard to date most people with depression so anyone who has doubts shouldn't really.There is a difference with people who have depression to people who are suicidal. Normally the suicidal ones who are hard to have realtionships with and build a future with and them been suicide risks.
No unless I was already dating them before they got depression. Imagine going to sleep every night worrying that your partner might end their life. Imagine having a partner who routinely thinks nobody really cares about them including you. It would be emotionally exhausting and painful. I would be their friend though.
Look at it from another angle, would you stop dating someone one or even divorce someone because they spiralled into depression, through no fault of their own?
No of course not
Exactly so why would you consider not dating someone in the first place based on something that is a part of them, if you like someone you take them as they are or you don’t truly like them.
I agree with you!
There's a profound difference between the two scenarios. The first deals with the lack of knowledge of what caused the depression and the person as well (since you're getting to know them) as well as the development of trust. The second has the aforementioned established so the individual dating the person who suddenly became depressed is able to better assist the individual.
I disagree. Depression isn't a constant, people can have it their entire life and it only affect them once a blue moon an not know the cause because it can be triggered by more than one thing.
My boyfriend was in a not so great place mentally for over 10 years, mostly due to low self esteem and the realization that he hasn't done much in his life and isn't a normal 30yr old as he lives with his family and is unemployed. Since I met him he's become tremendously better and now takes little medication. In this situation all it took for him was having a significant other (me) to motivate him and change his outlook on life. I actually didn't know my boyfriend was depressed until he told me about his past about a month into the relationship. But I think if you believe you have it in you to build up a person that is depressed and you love them very much, yes.On the other hand, some people aren't so comfortable dealing with a significant other with depression as it can be exhausting and feel like a massive responsibility. Everyone has a different view I guess.
Dayum, your boyfriend likes underagde girls?
@Paul09 Crap I thought it wouldn't show my age.. that's another story
Truth : A Man will date someone who is depressed and believe that she will get betterBut a women will never date a guy thats depressed, they will ignore him, its a turn off to them, they will call him toxic and whatever crapMoral: Women are more judgmental than men, thats why a man will accept a woman regardless of her issues. But a woman expects men to have zero issues
I agree with your opinion for the most part. However the only bit that I don't agree with is, when you said the women expect men to have no issues. I feel that statrment is only for a small amount of the female population. I think it's unrealistic to expect anyone to have no flaws. It's apart of what Make you human. I understand that some women can be judgmental but there are some that aren't.
I've suffered with depression on and off for many years. I could not date another person with mental health problems. I found out the hard way that when two people with depression and anxiety issues are in a relationship, their issues feed into each other. It can become a toxic situation very quickly.
I would absolutely as long as they were willing to try to get better even if its a struggle. I have had my own issues with depression and occasionally I can get a depressive episode for a month or two 🤷♀️
I would try, but I wonder how well it would work out. I’ve struggled with bad depression and anxiety, so I’m not sure how a relationship would work if both parties were struggling with themselves.But I definitely am open to dating someone who also struggles with it.
If they are getting help by seeing a therapist and doctor and are taking medication to get out of their depressed state. Then yes I would date them, I used to depressed and was on meds and seeing a counselor when I was a teenager through my early 20's. I just stopped feeling depressed one day and saw that life was worth living rather than feeling sad and sorry for myself and wanting others to feel sorry for me. I do get sad but I see every day as a new day to be alive.
Yes I have many times. When they are not depressed it's just like dating anyone else but when they get depressed it can really start to make you depressed as well or they shut down and want to be alone and it can be really hard to live with if it happens to frequently.
You can't control how someone is. m if you feel that because their depressed thats not something u can deal with then thats on you but if you really love them then you would help them not be depressed
As long as they aren’t self-harming and as long as they aren’t using their illness as an excuse to emotionally manipulate me or treat me badly, then yes.
I kinda did that, I don't like the idea because relationships are destabilizing. I'd much rather start with 2 healthy people. So I'll say no.
The phrase "relationships are destabilizing" makes me sad. But I would have to agree that when you are wrestling with your own inner demons, the last thing you need is to be going through a rough patch with a significant other.
@WalterBlack thank you. I think good ones are not, but so often we have our inner stuff... try to lean on the other for love, or hurt the other person with our humanness... even by accident, it it strikes emotional chords within us that are not good. Trouble soon comes. There's good relationships, but mine haven't worked, and part of the problem is me, I accept that and work on me.
I'm depressed and I think it'd be best to wait until someone actively trying to get better. Although I would never date someone who is currently suicidal. My last relationship was toxic and it tore me apart, even though I was the one who ended it.
Maybe.Little to oversensitive with people's energy and mental health.Many times not a good thing to do since our brains have a tendency to make poor decisions when depressed/anxiety when it comes to people sex love.Personal do I stay away from dating and other's when I'm not feeling that great mentally or are depressed. bad combo for all involved.
Hell no.Thats draining on me, i have enough issues in my own life to deal with another persons. Partners are supposed to bring out the best in each other not bring eAch other down
I sure would. I just would not get too attached to her and wouldn't let her get attached to me either. But on the off chance we did get closer, I believe that would mean that I no longer care about her negativity at times
Omg no. Been there done that and it is the most energy draining thing ever. So many depressed guys end up liking me and then when they start feeling better about themselves they just leave like u mean nothing to them. I can't do that anymore.
I understand what you mean, my ex made the same to me, but... I had learned a lot of things of it, and I lived some of the best times of my life then.I would suggest you to give you another value apart of making him better.
no because as a depressed individual, i really can't constantly deal with someone else's emotional instability on top of mine lmao
I would date a person just because the person is depressed ❤️ everyone needs love ❤️
Probably not. I'm personally always postive and very active. I don't need someone that drains my energy. But I guess it depends on the person some are lost cases and some just go through a rough time at the moment
No, I think a person has to sort themselves out before bringing someone else into it. It's best for both parties.
I tried and he whined all the time. I just pray he never physically hurts himself or anyone else
Depends on their personality because my experience with depressed people is they can be lovely or a complete bitch
My girlfriend is depressed but trying to get better. I don't know how happy I am, but I do know that I'm happy enough to stay, and most importantly, I know that she is fighting for me.
I don't think negative vibes is good for anyone. Bad mood people can bring you down to, before you know it your also depressed. No I wouldn't date a depressed person I would get them help
Lmao as if a woman has any true problems with depression. It's only men who truly suffer when it comes to depression
How do you mean?
Women still get relationships, have friends, and sex when depressed whereas men are treated like they have the plague
Just like to point out not everyone gets happiness from a relationship, or sex. Also not everyone's depression is caused by a lack of these things. I think "men being treated like they have the plauge" is an overreaction. Not all women are the same. Lastly I think your original opinion is rude, it comes across as though you are saying that depression doesn't affect women which is so untrue. However I hope you have a nice day.
you know you might be right in some cases. Many women want a take the lead guy and when a man is depressed he isn't going to be at the top of his game
Anon is right tbh. Men are treated like the plague when it comes to depression because men are expected to be strong.This is why whenever I date, I absolutely refuse to talk about my depression with a girl I'm dating even if she asks.
@DWD94 But eventually she needs to know. It's sort of important if the relationship goes long term that your partner knows. Maybe not at the very beginning.
@sejla What she doesn't know won't hurt her.
@DWD94 In the long run yes because it creates a barrier between the two of you that you might not realize. Keeping some secrets doesn't help the relationship.
Of course i would. Everyone deserves love and a person can't help how they feel. Also if i feel enough of a connection to want to date them i will feel enough to want to hep them through this hard time.
I've pulled friends out of depression while being down myself so I wouldn't see the harm in that at all. If you truly care about anyone you'll support them no matter what that goes for Friends, family, & gf/bf.
I’m married to a man that has chronic depression and id have to say that it honestly sucks.
Just because someone haves depressed doesn't mean there no a good person and long as they love U for U and we're loyal nothing else really matter because if you should be able to work through anything if U really love each other
If i like them and we have mutual feeling and things i would it will be nice to stand and help them to get to the finish and too see her happy again
According to mathematics two minus make a plus so two depressed people can cure each other. So sure why not
Depends on how they are going about it. If they have it but try to be a functional human in society then I'll date them but if they use it as an excuse to be dicks then I won't.
I would not! If I had a friend who got depressed then it's my duty as a friend to talk to him/her and help him/her out of depression but to date someone is not good.
Being that I've suffered from clinical depression for about 6-7 years, id prefer a girl who isn't in the same situation as me. One needs to be able to help lift the other.
Yes I would, I'm also depressed, so it'd be nice to date someone who is also depressed. We could be depressed together or try to make each other happy.
I have, and also have been on the other side of that deal as well.
I have and it’s not fun that if you’re arguing he says he’s gonna kill himself and he gets even more depressed and suicidal. It’s like dealing with a drug addictxD
No. Why bother being in a relationship with people who have mental disorders? I'm not into trying to "fix" people.
That's true. If you were on a dating app and they told you they are always sad and depressed, would you be like yup that's my soulmate lol
I guess, as long as they are taking medication for it/seeking help.
If the person actively trying to get better then it should be fine.
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